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Messages - Quintaros

#581
I'm all for simplicity.  I will give that a try.
#582
I'm trying to write a script that reads from a text file using:

String letter= String.Format("%c", input.ReadRawChar());

I use: (letter.CompareTo(" ")==0) to check if the letter is a character or space but I run into problems when I reach a line break. 

Can someone tell me what kind of check I should do for line breaks?

Thanks.
#583
Quote from: Pumaman on Mon 28/04/2008 15:16:12
Maybe it's just the fact that all Austrian houses come equipped with a handy cellar for all your kidnapping needs.


Apparently kidnapping is all such cellars are good for, as the guy's wife had no reason to venture down in 24 years.
#584
I'm going to be in Paris for about 3 days prior to Mittens, as well.
#585
I might not have made it clear here but I did take accountability for my own faux-pas with Anita.  I apologized and explained that if I could do it all over again I would have backed her up at the beginning of the evening.

I do practise the exercise of walking a mile in other people's shoes but it often fails me as I simply don't react to situations the way many people do.  I did meet a male friend of hers who was cocky and condenscending toward me.  Anita recognized it herself and instead of intervening she hung back and observed how I reacted.  I didn't get mad at her for not backing me up and I didn't take his manner personally.   I think he was used to being the funniest person in the room and was feeling a little outshone by me that evening.  I think I'd be upset at myself if I became so offended that I fled the scene.

Anita's entitled to her reactions.  In the future I'll support her in the moment and wait until the moment has passed before offering my own intrepretation. 
#586
Quote from: [lgm] on Fri 21/12/2007 06:20:41
I think that perhaps, regardless of how Anita is acting, you might just have to take one for the team. That doesn't mean you have to stop being around Meredith... But sometimes in a relationship you gotta back up your better half whether you agree or not, just because your alliance is with them. Perhaps she is only jealous now, as Ivy said, because she sees that you are defending Meredith over her own feelings.

If I could have a redo on the whole situation I'd definitely back Anita up at the party.  If I'd taken early action and diplomatically let Meredith know her comments were abrasive, I think she would have modified her behaviour and things would have turned out much differently.  I missed that opportunity and things escalated to a point where backing up Anita meant making a choice about loyalties.  At the end of the day, I think I was willing to abandon my faith in Meredith to preserve the peace with Anita.

Quote from: Meowster on Fri 21/12/2007 13:46:07
I don't like the sound of Meredith. I know women who fit the description you've given of her... women who try to act laddy and say unnessecarily outrageous things to try and be funny through shocking people. I know that it really really irritates me greatly, though I don't get offended... I just avoid that person...

There's something though that's worth mentioning... with women a lot of the time there are subtle things that they do to purposely annoy each other, while glossing it over with "pretending to be nice". Men usually never pick up on this, but women do. I've been in this situation plenty of times. In school and college, if two girls hated eached other they'd very often be "best friends", and it seemed the only reason for this was so that they could pick up little secrets about each other for bitching about later! And also they could make remarks to each other that were "intended to be nice" but in fact were masked insults... such as "oh your hair is so messy today, you're always so messy Jane! I love that about you, that you don't care how you look!"

Yes, this is very much along the lines of what Anita sensed from Meredith.  I know this sort of thing does happen between women (it sounds sexist when I say it) so I always understood why Anita felt this way and acknowledged her right to do so.  Even if Anita is dead-right about Meredith and I failed to pick up on what was going on, does that constitute a betrayal? 

Quote from: ProgZmax on Fri 21/12/2007 06:18:02
I think that in this situation, the very best thing you can do is reassure your girlfriend that she has every right to feel upset over Meredith's behavior, because from her perspective, it's inappropriate.  You could also affirm that, because you know Meredith and her attitude, it didn't seem offensive to you.  Perceptions are pretty key in relationships, and just because you don't perceive a problem doesn't mean there isn't one.

This is the approach that I took and, although it seemed to be failing me, ultimately it does appear to have paid off.  Last night, Anita phoned me to apolgize for being "a psycho" over the past few days.  She went on to say that if I truly believe Meredith wasn't intending to be cruel than she was willing to forgive her.  This was better than I imagined as all I was really hoping for was for her to forgive me.  She even wants to give Meredith another chance believing that she is likely to choose her words more carefully in the future as a result of this incident.  The notion of putting them together again scares me a little but we'll see.

Quote from: Darth Mandarb on Fri 21/12/2007 16:11:21
... it's interesting to see all the different opinions in here about the same situation.

I agree and all the different takes were appreciated.  Thanks to everyone who posted.
#587
I've considered the possibility that it was a jealousy issue but I don't buy it.

We're very open with each other in discussing these things so it would be extremely out of character for her to veil these kinds of feelings.

I suppose you could make the arguement that she's confused about her own feelings and doesn't realize that they could stem from jealousy but I dismiss this also.  She's too intelligent and self aware to not know how/why she feels.

#588
Quote from: Raggit on Thu 20/12/2007 21:33:37
Quote from: Da_Elf on Thu 20/12/2007 20:51:05
you guys need to learn to live like we live in the caribbean. soooo laid back.

I was initially offended by this statement, but now I'm just a bit confused...  Do you mean we're uptight for worrying about friends in the hospital, or so uptight we worry ourselves INTO the hospital?

I think it was the latter and not to be taken too seriously.  Don't be offended if he's trying to cheer you up with a little levity.
#589
Quote from: Pumaman on Thu 20/12/2007 19:29:44
Yeah, it sounds to me like Meredith was just being herself but Anita didn't know her well enough to accept those kind of comments from her. It's funny how two people can say exactly the same thing to you, and one of them can be funny whilst the other is offensive, just depending on how well you know them.

Oh, and a sideboob is generally a view like this:
http://www.sideboob.org/pictures/isabeli_fontana_02.jpg

:P


I had no idea sideboob was a widely used term.  Based on that website, I wouldn't even say it was a negative word but maybe just a juvenile one.  It seems to me like it was just a really juvenile way for Meredith to compliment her on looking sexy in her dress.

Quote from: ManicMatt on Thu 20/12/2007 20:50:03
I can't see these two people ever getting along with each other, it sounds like too much character clashing to me. Probably best not to have them meeting up if possible, perhaps.

If those two keep meeting and Meredith keeps up the cheeky monkey talk, you must tell her not to straight away!

Oh I agree about it being best to keep them apart.   I think that if Meredith had been more down to earth and genuine with Anita during their first encounters she could have eased into the cheeky monkey talk and Anita might have enjoyed or at least tolerated it.  As it is I'd say the damage is done.

I don't feel a need for Anita to see Meredith as I do.  I just want her to accept my opinion without thinking that it's a betrayal.  If she can't accept then I'm left with two options: (1) embrace her opinion and drop my friend or (2) stick to my principles and face a break-up.
#590
Thanks...

I have brought it up with Meredith and she's apologized to me.  I believe it was sincere and that the situation did match scenario (3) as described.

I've told Anita of the apology and she does accept it as genuine.  Perhaps because it was second hand.

#591
General Discussion / More Relationship Woes
Thu 20/12/2007 18:02:57
It's a little embarrassing to post this sort of thread but I do appreciate the feedback I get from people here as it tends to lack the bias that can occur when discussing with friends in the real world.  So here goes:

My co-worker, Meredith, is a pretty judgemental person and believes that very few people she meets in this world are worthy of her respect or friendship.  Despite this attitude, the two of us actually hit it off immediately because of our similar senses of humour.  We became friends and she and her husband, Dave, have served as a hub for me to make other friends in a town where I didn't know many people outside of work.

My girlfriend, Anita, is also someone with a very similar sense of humour to my own.  I assumed that she and Meredith were going to hit it off great and that we'd all be friends.

The first time I introduced them was when I took Anita to a Halloween party at Meredith and Dave's.  We were about 2 hours late in arriving and Meredith was already well drunk.  She was loud and raunchy and did awkward things like pretending to get grabby with Anita's breasts and asking us if we were having anal sex.  I don't why but it's one of Meredith's running jokes to act like she's into other women's boobs and inquire about “doin' it in the butt”.  Anita was not amused but she dismissed this as drunk behaviour and she didn't let it spoil the rest of the party.  The next morning when we returned to M&D's house to retrieve my car, we went in briefly to ask about some of the music that had been playing the night before.  While there I mentioned rather casually to Meredith that she'd said and done a lot of awkward things the night before and she did not apologize.  The lack of apology bothered Anita much more than the night's antics as it implied Meredith did not care if she offended Anita and made her feel uncomfortable.  I more or less forgot about the incident in the following months.

Last Friday was my company's Christmas party and was the first time since Halloween Meredith and Anita saw each other.  Along with a 3rd couple, we all road together to the party.   Within minutes of picking us up, Meredith said something that offended Anita.  There's a little backstory required for Meredith's offending comment so bear with me. 

Two weeks earlier Anita and I had taken a little vacation together.  We did not check-in for our flight in advance so when we arrived at the airport we discovered we'd not be seated together but instead were one behind the other.  We were rather annoyed at this since we had booked our flights together months in advance.  We decided that we would try to guilt another passenger into trading seats with one of us so that we could be together.  We should have just politely asked but instead we thought it would be fun to see if a passenger would volunteer.  So during the flight we talked to each other over the back of my chair and at one point she said to me:  “Wanna make out?”  (this is a running gag unto itself as I frequently ask her this in public places and she always gets embarrassed).  Anyway despite the fact that we were obviously supposed to be together our neighbouring passengers made no offer to swap seats.  I thought this was a funny, interesting anecdote and I told Meredith about this when I returned to work the following week. 

So Meredith's offending remark in the car was “How was your trip?  I heard you guys played tonsil tennis on the plane and you weren't even in the same row.”

Is this really such a bad thing to have said?  I interpreted it as gentle teasing.  Anita interprets it as a malicious attack intended to make her uncomfortable.

When we arrive at the party and are hanging our coats, Anita told me how she felt about Meredith's comment and I dismissed her interpretation defending the comment as just a joke.  The rest of the party seemed to go okay.  Anita was having a lot of fun with Dave ganging up on me to make fun of my nerdy ways.  She shared a dessert with Meredith.  I thought everything was copasetic.  But then abruptly Anita wanted to leave the party. 

She went to the coat room and I told her I'd be right out after I finished my drink.  I probably took about 5 minutes to drink my drink and say my goodbyes and by the time I left the main room Anita was gone.  Her coat was no longer next to mine on the rack.  She wasn't in the ladies room.  She wasn't outside waiting for a cab.  I thought maybe she'd already caught a cab and returned to my place without me.  This was not good and was certainly a sure-fire sign that she was mad at me.  Some other friends at the party had seen her exit angrily and recommended I just return to the party for a little while and go home in half an hour or so after she's had time to cool off.  It seemed like reasonable advice and so I got myself another drink and decided to enjoy myself for the meantime.  This turned out to be a terrible idea as she hadn't in fact gone home but was out in the freezing cold trying to hail a cab for 15 minutes.  She came back inside to find me having fun again with a new drink in my hand and that only made her more angry.  So I abandoned my drink and we left for home.

We were up for hours fighting.  I learned that the reason Anita wanted to bolt from the party was because Meredith again said something offensive.  This time the offending remark was:  “I can see your side-boobs.”  Apparently this was said right in front of me but I didn't hear it and don't know how I would have responded if I had.  I don't know what a side-boob is but Anita interpreted to mean her dress looked bad on her and that her breasts were hanging out.  I really had no rational way to justify Meredith saying such a mean comment.  Anita's explanation was simple:  Meredith is a catty bitch with a low self-esteem who elevates herself by slamming other women.  In addition to her thinking Meredith was a wicked person, she felt betrayed by me for defending her comment in the car.

This is a very large issue.  It hasn't gotten better in the past 6 days.  Anita continues to believe that I value my friendship with Meredith over my relationship to her.  She thinks I'm either a stupid moron for not seeing how awful a person Meredith is or that I'm a liar who recognized Meredith's maliciousness but is refusing to accept it out of stubbornness.

My stance is that it's impossible for me to believe that my friend would deliberately be cruel toward my girlfriend.  I can accept that Meredith is an uncouth boor but I can't assign malice to her actions only ignorance.  I'm not trying to convince Anita she should give Meredith another chance.  All I want is to preserve my right to formulate my own opinion of someone.  I think it's unfair to treat my differing opinion as a betrayal.

I don't know what to do.  Am I risking my relationship to Anita over semantics?  Are people's intentions unimportant?  Am I a fool for not seeing Meredith's true nature?

Any advice is appreciated.  Thanks.
#592
General Discussion / Re: Baldness anxiety
Thu 15/11/2007 01:56:04
I feel your pain.

Back in June I noticed that my hair was thinning on the crown.  It had actually been occuring for about a year but it was difficult for me to see that part of my head and those around me were too uncomfortable to inform me. 

The realization was really quite saddening.  It seemed so unfair that it was simply hard-coded into my DNA that I would start to lose my hair at 27.  I'd lost the genetic lottery. 

I spent a lot of time stressing over how obvious it was.  Since I'd failed to notice it perhaps others would too.  I changed the way I styled my hair to downplay as much as possible.  I avoided getting my haircut because I didn't want to have hairdressers scrutinizing it.

Slowly though I've come to terms.  It really is *just* hair.  I'd rather have it then not but you can't worry about what you can't control. 

If you're worried about being attractive just know that dignity and confidence are the most attractive qualities of all.
#593
I appreciate everyone's responses and I think I've gained some insight from them.  It turns out that my default opinions on the described scenarios are in the minority. 

I was the cheating girlfriend in scenario 1 and thought that although my initial behaviour had been bad I had set it right sufficiently enough to avoid the label of "unfaithful".  The whole scenario really doesn't agree with my self-image so it's difficult to reconcile that I did indeed cheat.  Now that I accept that I think it will influence my future behaviour for the better.

I had been the boyfriend in scenario 2.  I also didn't consider it cheating at the time because my girlfriend was so open about it.  I did think that it was a bit unhealthy that I was so apathetic about it.  It really was a symptom of a problematic relationship.

Anyway both of these things are well in the past of a relationship that has been over for some time.  There isn't any real actions I can take based on people's responses but they have helped me gain some closure and course correct my morale compass.


#594
Scenario 1:  You are at a club with a group of friends.  Your boyfriend isn't with you so you dance with some other guys.  One of the guys is obviously attracted to you but instead of letting him know you're unavailable you continue to be funny and warm toward him.  Eventually, he kisses you and you go along with it for a moment.  Later in the week he phones you and you let him know that you're attached and apologize for misleading him.  You never tell your boyfriend of the incident.

Scenario 2:  You have a crush on a co-worker but you tell your boyfriend about it right away.  He's secure enough in the relationship to trust you and doesn't protest when you start socializing with this co-worker outside of the workplace.  The conversations with this co-worker grow increasingly sexual but are never physically manifested.   You disclose everything to your boyfriend and he does not respond with any jealousy.  This continues indefinitely.

Do either/both of these situations demonstrate unfaithfulness?  Is one worse than the other?
#595
Quote from: Pesty on Wed 01/08/2007 06:07:31
Quintaros, I'm sorry you felt like I only hung out with a couple people during Mittens, or that anyone was  being "clique-y",  that was never my intention, nor anyone else's I'm sure.
I was absolutely only kidding, as my only real opposition to France is that it'll be extremely expensive for me, and me going to Miami is much more possible.

Thanks Pete.  I never suspected that anyone was deliberately excluding others.  There will always be certain friendships that develop within large groups that are stronger than others.  I guess I made it out to be a bigger deal than it actually is.  So I'm sorry to have mentioned it.
#596
Quote from: MrColossal on Wed 01/08/2007 03:48:20
Wow Rudey McHarsh, that was quite uncalled for, I'm sure Pete was joking around.

If anything Team Hot Tub was more of a clique than people who rode in the same car together three times, jeez.

Eric, I spent a lot of time debating whether or not to post that because I didn't want to appear unneccessarily harsh but it was my perception of things.  It went beyond just the car rides because there was a certain exclusivity of private jokes established during the car rides that were continued all week.  Maybe I could have stated it more eloquently but Pete is over the top enough herself that I thought I was speaking her language. 

Team Hot Tub was never a clique...because there was no Team Hot Tub.  Some people used it some people didn't.  All were welcome.
#597
If there's one thing I learned from organizing this year's event, it's that you can't please everyone and that if you ask for everyone's input it's impossible to reach a consensus. 

Typically a Mittens location is decided during the prevous year's event.  I'm not exactly sure why but my guess would be because having a discussion on the forums would be unwieldly and many people who can't realistically get their shit together to attend anyway will sway the vote.  We tried discussing next year's location a few times last week but for the most part we were too busy having fun to really address it properly.  When we were riding back into Toronto on the final day, we took the time to make a decision and it came up France.  Maybe that seems a little unfair because some attendees were absent but these things are never representative of the overall community.

Ultimately it doesn't matter much to me where Mittens is because I'll attend regardless.  I just want an organized plan in place.  People might have thought I was nutty when I was trying to get committment from people in December of last year but it really did require early organization to book a good venue.  So I want to see the same thing for next year's event.

Quote from: Pesty on Wed 01/08/2007 02:14:37
Screw all of you selfish europeans! You've had way more Mittens, let us Americans have another one! I want to see Eric and Jess again!

Pete, it's great that you and the rest of Team Foxhump are new Best Friends Forever but I don't know if that's really what Mittens should be all about.  I don't think you made many attempts to interact with others.  If you want to get together with Eric and Jess again, go for it but if you're going to form a tight little clique anyway there isn't any need to call it Mittens.

#598

The BMI index is only an approximation of someone's fitness.  It doesn't reflect how body mass is distributed or what it is made of.  Muscle is more dense than fat so the BMI index for someone with an athletic build often indicates that he is overweight.

#599
Quote from: BaRoN on Thu 19/07/2007 00:42:38
Oh, and so far the only terminal I've seen people arriving at is terminal 3.  I think Quintaros & Radiant will be at different terminals since they are coming from Canada & the States: let me know guys! 

I'll be arriving at Terminal 3 as well.
#600
77142 Orchard Line
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