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Who thinks this would make a good standalone competition? With modified rules of course. It doesn't even have to be a competition either.

Perkins' smile turned into a smirk. "You come back, even after what I did to you last time?"
"That's nothing compared to what I'll do this time."
"You think so? Here come play a few rounds. You will even get a few drinks on me." Perkins got up and walked around the table and pulled a chair out. He gestured for Gerald to sit down.
Gerald walked over and began to sit down. But just as his hands touched the chair to scoot in, Perkins punched him right in the jaw. Gerald fell out of the chair onto his back.
"What the heck is wrong with you?"
Perkins had shoved the chair violently to the side, and now had his foot positioned directly above Gerald's face. He slammed it down. "You piece of shit. You think I don't know about you and my wife. Just because you didn't get the pretty sister doesn't mean that you can take her." He lifted his foot yet again and slammed it on the side of Gerald's face. He could feel both side of his face burning like heck as the boot and the rough carpet tore his skin. Perkins then picked him up by the shirt. "Take his suit off, looks real nice, don't want to get blood on it."
One of the bodyguards rushed over and removed Gerald's suit, whispering, "Sorry Gerry, but we all gotta make a living." Gerry watched the guard, but as the guard removed the jacket, he noticed the hidden aces.
"Dammit", Jerry thought, "not that."
The guard, however, discreetly concealed the aces in his pocket.
"Where is my wife?" yelled Perkins.
"She's at my house," Gerald gasped, "I haven't done anything to her, she's fine."
"That better be the truth, or I'll fucking blow your brains out."
EDIT: grammar

Background information:
    I go to this writing guild, however, for some reason, no one there seems to be very competent at writing. A while ago I had them implement a monthly writing contest. After winning ten times in a row I decided to try and see how horrible I could make a story without it loosing, so I wrote a confusing story (at least when read aloud). It got second place out of five. So I wrote yet another story, won again by a large margin. With this story, I manged to reach the threshold by only loosing by one point. We vote on a grade of 3 and there are approximately 15 to 20 people, so I didn't loose by a whole much. Now enjoy yourself, while you read one of the worst stories that I've ever written. Complete with a confusing plot, horrible characters, dumb humor, grammatically incorrect, huge changes in tone, stupid reveals that have nothing to do with the plot, horrible attempts at breaking the fourth wall, loads of ambiguity and sexist humor. And relish in the fact that this story only lost by one point.
Story:
    “I promise you this, in whatever you do I will have your back. I will be there to lay out a path for you, leading you, guiding you, teaching you. I swear that on the day I fail to do so, may I be exposed as the liar I am. I hope that just as the covenant with my father, I will keep my word with my son.”
    “I promise you this, if you do the aforementioned, I will continue to serve you with all my heart, soul, body, mind and strength. I shall never go against you, nor will I betray you in my loyalty. Nor will I ever step on a crack. If I fail to follow through, may I drown in mine own blood. Just as my son will keep his word with me, I will keep my word with my father.”
    “The bond between father and son may last forever,” chanted the observers, “and if these things come not to pass, may we have life in peace under our new rulers.”
    “The bond has been fulfilled, may the heir and the ruler keep their promises, so we may continue forever in eternal glory!” Exclaimed the robed one. “May all of you live in peace and harmony forever under our benevolent rulers.”
    Everyone except the people who had performed the ceremony shuffled out of the building.
    The robed man spoke, “May you continue to live healthy lives as long as humanely possible,” and shuffled out.
    “Father, why must we declare our allegiance toward each other? For do they not go unsaid? What purpose do they serve?”
    “They mean little, in that it is an already unsaid promise, but in the public eye, the bond means that they know they will continue to have a secure future.”
   
    After the ceremony Bob looked behind him down the hill. He had moved five inches up it's base and a wind had kicked in. If this was going to be the condition of the rest of the journey, he might as well quit now. He looked at his father standing behind him, however, there didn't appear to be any wind blowing in his father's face. “I'll leave you here Bob, I can go no further, for the wind eats at my soul and consumes me, when I face it, bye.”
    Well, that statement made Bob feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He started walking toward his father, the wind, however, had a different idea. It knocked him down and he hit his head on a rock. Blood came gushing out. The father turned around at the sound. He laughed and walked back. Bob was holding his head, trying to stop the blood flow.
    “I did that same exact thing when I was your age. Well except the wind didn't knock me down, it was a bear, and he cut my head off with his claws and mauled my face, and it wasn't here, it was in the castle's backyard and it was back when we had a zoo. But my injuries were much worse and I recovered.” He then laughed and walked away.
    Bob, who was starting to become delirious due to lack of blood flow, fainted.

    Back at the castle, Volgarr the Greatly Misinformed, Bob's father, returned from taking Bob to the hill. He was muttering to himself. His wife rushed out to talk to him.
    “Is Bob okay?”
    “Yeah he just got his head lopped off by a gnarly whomper, but Bob's a big kid, he can handle himself.”
    “So you just left him there, head cut off and everything?”
    “I said he can handle himself.”
    “But my maternal instinct has kicked in and I suddenly feel the need to protect my child.”
    “However, my paternal instinct has already kicked in telling me to feel overconfident about my son. And here in medieval times, before the age of the personal computer, my instinct matters much more than yours does.”
    “I guess you're right, in this time before particle accelerators and microwaves and refrigerators and Twinkies, I matter much less than you do.”
    “You are correct. Did I ever tell you about the time I was stabbed 102 times in the face?”

    Bob woke up from his blood induced nap. His scar had healed and he was no longer losing blood. He guessed he would continue on his journey, it's not like he could do anything else.  So he got up and stumbled to the path, this he followed for fourteen yards, where he stopped, because he was now at the top of the mountain. It wasn't everyday in Nonmountainlandia that  one climbed a fourteener. There sitting in front of him was a man in a black robe, who was sitting cross-legged and hovering above the ground.
    “How do you do float like that?” asked Bob.
    “Magnetic pants.”
    “You are the wise man right?”
    “Yes”
    “You're the same man from the ceremony earlier today, so why did I need to climb the mountain to see you?”
    “Your dad wanted me to tell you about the time he got mauled by a bear and got his head cut off.”
    “Don't avoid the question.”
    “Why must you avoid the truth?” queried the robed one.
    “I'm not. You know what?”
    “Yes, What is a good man.”
    “What?”
    “I'm sorry, the writer couldn't help but make it absolutely clear that a certain person wrote this story, and he wanted to make it even more obvious than ever. Not that it matters because everybody already knows who wrote this story.”
    “What?”
    “Yes, I told you, What was a good man.”
    “You're driving me crazy.”
    “Good. However, since I'm nice, may I point out the futuristic technology has nicely placed right in front of you by the author? It's called a sidewalk. Now, if you could follow this technology to it's end, that'd be great.”
    “First let me ask you a question. How wise are you?”
    “Wiser than you are.”
    “Okay, here goes nothing.” and Bob stepped onto the sidewalk. He took another step, and then another. Then, by fate... he didn't set his foot down on a crack, but the next time he moved, he stepped on a crack.

    “Aurgh,” said the mother back at the castle.
   
    Bob then tripped, fell and hit his head, causing blood to gush out and knocking him out. He then inhaled the pooling blood, and he drowned.

    Back at the castle, Volgarr the Greatly Misinformed ran up to his wife. “What's wrong?”
    “Bob stepped on a crack, and died because of the bond you have. So I screamed in sadness”
    “Wait a minute? Why isn't your back broken?”
    “I'm not his mother.”
    “What?”
    “Yes, What's a good man. But you are greatly misinformed, Volgarr the Greatly Misinformed. I am your wife's twin sister, Grace. She died five years ago. Oh, and by the way, are you going to help your son?”
    “He'll be fine. Did I tell you about the time I was eaten by a snake, and dissolved in it's stomach acid?
Endnote:
    Hope you got some enjoyment out of that. Yes, this is a competition entry. Sorry if you were put off by the quality and beauty of the story.

    I might join. It sounds like everyone's read Blood Meridian, so it wouldn't be the best book to read as a group. We should pick a book most of us haven't read. Will try to read Blood Meridian on my own time though, it sounds interesting.

    No, I probably should though, why?

Thanks eternal,
    I will try my best to incorporate these suggestions into my revisions that I'm working on. What do you mean by develop it further, do you mean to make it longer or change it more.
Thanks,
Sane Co.

Thanks a lot!
    I will use this info to make it better and will re-upload it with those improvements.
One question, how did you get into digital music? I can't seem to be able to do it, as I end up making the most minimalistic songs with one line, because it seems so tedious.
Thanks a million,
Sane Co.

    Hey, Sane Co. again, and I'd like your opinion on my music, how well it would fit in a game, how to improve recording, how to improve the music itself, it's merit as a standalone track, etc. These are the tracks I want you to look at (sorry about their length).
https://soundcloud.com/sane_co/untitled-smooth
https://soundcloud.com/sane_co/for-you
https://soundcloud.com/sane_co/solitude
The sound quality isn't the best. (not all of us can afford expensive microphones.) And it has been played on an upright that hasn't been tuned in a while. I'd also like  ideas on how to name songs.(the hardest part). and don't mind the stumbles (I can work those out with enough practice) I mainly want to focus on style and technique. I'd also like ideas for moving into digital music (sounds really hard, but somewhat worth it.)
Thanks,
Sane Co.

[Do Not Read This Aloud]

Listen to this audio short story https://soundcloud.com/sane_co/do-not-read-this-aloud-read

Do not look at the written transcript until you have finished the story.

                                    Do Not Read This Aloud
It all started when I, for science of course, named my kids Yuu, Mi and Hur. Unfortunately, everybody in the town named their kids things like this. Pure sitcom material there, but that's what you get when you live in a scientific community. The founders of the town were scientists too. You can tell because the town's name is Day. The two neighboring towns are called Morrow and Nite. This led to much confusion such as, “Let's go to Day tomorrow,” or, “Yesterday we went to Day and came back to Morrow.”
   The kids were playing with some other kids from the neighborhood; I think Ai, Hee and Schee were their names.
   â€œMiss Tury?”
   The kids were quite cute, he should have said Mrs. Tury, but I let it slide. “Yes?” I asked.
   â€œI'm wondering if you wanted to talk to Miss Ull.”
   â€œNot now, Schee, I'm busy.” Schee ran back to play with his friends.
   â€œHey Yuu, let's play with her,” Schee said pointing to Mi.
   â€œI don't want to play with Yuu, I want to play with Hur.”
   Hur spoke up. “Yuu is fun to play with, why don't you think so Mi?”
   â€œYuu pulled Miss Tur's beard.”
   â€œWomen shouldn't have beards, plus I was little when that happened.”
   â€œIt doesn't matter how old Ai was.”
   â€œI was talking about me,” Yuu replied.
   â€œYou were talking about Ai,” Mi said
   â€œI was talking about myself.”
   â€œOh.”
   â€œWell... Umm... We went to Morrow yesterday, we only got back to Day today,” said Ai, changing the subject
   â€œMi, Hur, Yuu and I went to Morro five days ago, went to Nite and didn't come back to Day until yesterday,” Schee said.
   â€œDo you guys want to go to Nite today?” Yuu asked.
   â€œI don't see why not,” Schee said, “but we should be back to Day by tonight.”
   Mi and Hur walked up to me and asked, “Miss Tury, may we go to Nite today?”
   I thought about it. “No, but maybe we could go to Morrow, I need to get some spices there.”
   â€œBut we want to go today, not tomorrow.”
   â€œWe're already in Day.” I replied.
   â€œWe meant we want to go now.”
   â€œWe can't go to Nite though. I have to get spices at Morrow.”
   The boy ran outside, “Do you want to go to Morrow instead?
   â€œI want to go today,” Schee said.
   â€œNo,  instead of going to Day, Morrow is where we would go.”
   â€œYeah, that's fine.”
   â€œI'll tell Miss Tury.”
   We went to the car to travel to Morrow.
   When we got there we went into the store, there I saw Miss Tur and Miss Ull.
   â€œHey Miss Tury,” they said.
   â€œHey Miss Tur, your beard looks as good as ever. How are you Miss Ull?
   â€œGood, good, Anthony can be quite annoying, but that's about it.”
   There was an akward silence, “Well I better get shopping.” I said.
   â€œHey anthony,” Mi said.
   â€œHey, who are these people with you?”
   â€œThey're my friends, Ai and Hee; my other friend, Schee, is in the car.
   â€œIs she pretty?”
   â€œNo Schee is a he,” Hee replied.
   â€œShe is a trap?”
   â€œNo Schee is not, he's a reverse trap,” Yuu said
   â€œWait, Hee is a reverse trap?”
   â€œYes.”
   Anthony looked at Hee, “You don't look like a reverse trap.”
   â€œI'm not, Schee is,” Hee said pointing in the direction of outside but Yuu was standing in the way.”
   â€œWait, I am confused. Yuu is a reverse trap?
   â€œNo, my friend Schee is.”
   Just then Schee walked in, “Hey guys,” he said.
   â€œIt's a trap!” Anthony said, “I've always wanted to say that.”
   â€œWhat?” Schee asked.
   â€œYou're a reverse trap right?”
   â€œAre you looking to get into a fight?”
   â€œNo.”
   â€œWhat gives you that idea?”
   â€œThey told me...” he said pointing to my children and their friends.
   â€œDon't look at us,” Hee said.
   â€œMom, mom, they lied to me!” yelled Anthony
   â€œYou really should control your children,” said Miss Ull, “They lied to my Anthony, now he's going to need five more years of therapy.
   This was the reason I never stopped my kids from teasing others, I was the only therapist within a sixty mile radius. So I'll have even more money, thus I can buy out even more therapists, thus making me the only therapist within a 300 mile radius. The perfect plan.
   â€œWe need to go to Nite today,” Hee said.
   Yuu jerked up, “Are you thinking what I'm thinking?”
   â€œI think so,” Schee said, “But where are we going to get a toothbrush and defibrillator that size?”
   â€œNo, we should blackmail her.”
   â€œThat's exactly what I was thinking,” Schee said.
   â€œSure you were.”

   â€œIf you don't take us to Nite today, we'll tell dad where all his candy went.”
   They had got me, they were the perfect children, so I couldn't blackmail them back. Fine,” I said.   
   â€œYeah!” Ai said.
   â€œWe did it,” Schee said.
   I was going to get those kids back for this someday.


Tell me what you think. How confusing was it? How much did you understand? How would you have improved it? etc.
The one and only,
Sane Co.

    I'm going to have to pull out, not enough time. But look for a release in the near future.

A silo? Humpty Dumpty? A big blue cup? (Lol) A grown man's small intestine? Which is actually about as tall as a house. What can horses not draw?

The sun was shining over the sea,
Shining with all it's might,
and this was plainly odd you see,
Because it was the middle of the night.

The moon was nary to be seen,
It's beautiful rays were gone,
If this was a sign what did it mean?
and would it appear at dawn?

The bats were high up in their cave,
Sleeping with all their might,
and darkness they would crave,
because it was the middle of the night.

The sea was sitting quietly,
Not a wave in sight,
This would become dastardly,
As many fish would become a blight.

Nobody could sleep today,
not a place to rest,
It was so horrible some might say,
They slept a few minutes at best.

Then someone stood up,
and took a deep breath,
he drank water from a cup,
His way of cheating death.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen,
Lend me your ears
We all know that I have lived ten,
or maybe more than twenty years."

"But I know the sun is hot,
we have not slept,
We can use what we've got,
To make sure that we will have slept."

The people rushed to their tents,
and took away firewood,
and the covers off vents
And their cars off their hood.

"We shall block the sun,
With all our trinkets,
No ray of light will come in, not one,
We will bind everything together with hair nets."

"What a great idea,"
Said the young man,
Get all your llamas of chia,
and throw them into the fan.

They took their chia llamas
and threw them into the fan,
this was of course with help from 'bama's
great big stimulus plan.

It created big dust clouds
and obscured the sun in every way,
Then they covered their mouths with shrouds,
And left as they didn't want to stay.

That night night they slept peaceful and calm,
The dust killed only a few,
and those who died they did embalm,
How the dust got through their mouths- nobody knew.

The sun was shining over the sea,
Shining with all it's might,
and this was plainly odd you see,
Because it was the middle of the night.

P.S. Not much rhymes with llamas

I will be entering this mags as well. First game here i come!

Idea: Selmiak
Atmosphere: Waheela
Design: Snarky
loved the water, it looks great.
Composition: Selmiak
Functionality: Anian
Technique: Waheela
I liked all of the entries this month. I almost picked creamy for Functionality, but Anian's closely trumps his. They would both do well for use.

Was difficult, mainly because of all the flats and naturals and whatnot. But here it is:
https://soundcloud.com/sane_co/random-number-sequence
Hope you enjoy.
my numbers were 7,5,3,4,2,6,6,9
Which translates to G, F, D, Eb, Db, Gb, Gb, A.

@CaptainD
I darkened the photo during scanning because the sun wasn't showing up. The sun used to be the moon until I changed my mind and erased the craters. The scanner darkened the almost erased crater lines also. So just imagine the sun as a bright moon. Also it turned out really close to the original, minus a bit of darkening and the crater lines, but that's because we recently got a new scanner.

My first entry! Finally done:

Entirely hand drawn and shaded.
Edit: sorry that is is so big, if necessary I can scale it down.

Working on something, hopefully I have it done in time.

Nomic is a game in which changing the rules is a move. In that respect it differs from almost every other game. The primary activity of Nomic is proposing changes in the rules, debating the wisdom of changing them in that way, voting on the changes, deciding what can and cannot be done afterwards, and doing it. Even this core of the game, of course, can be changed.
Read below for the rules.

101. All players must always abide by all the rules then in effect, in the form in which they are then in effect. The rules in the Initial Set are in effect whenever a game begins. The Initial Set consists of Rules 101-116 (immutable) and 201-213 (mutable).

*

102. Initially rules in the 100's are immutable and rules in the 200's are mutable. Rules subsequently enacted or transmuted (that is, changed from immutable to mutable or vice versa) may be immutable or mutable regardless of their numbers, and rules in the Initial Set may be transmuted regardless of their numbers.

*

103. A rule-change is any of the following: (1) the enactment, repeal, or amendment of a mutable rule; (2) the enactment, repeal, or amendment of an amendment of a mutable rule; or (3) the transmutation of an immutable rule into a mutable rule or vice versa.

(Note: This definition implies that, at least initially, all new rules are mutable; immutable rules, as long as they are immutable, may not be amended or repealed; mutable rules, as long as they are mutable, may be amended or repealed; any rule of any status may be transmuted; no rule is absolutely immune to change.)

*

104. All rule-changes proposed in the proper way shall be voted on. They will be adopted if and only if they receive the required number of votes.

*

105. Every player is an eligible voter. Every eligible voter must participate in every vote on rule-changes.

*

106. All proposed rule-changes shall be written down before they are voted on. If they are adopted, they shall guide play in the form in which they were voted on.

*

107. No rule-change may take effect earlier than the moment of the completion of the vote that adopted it, even if its wording explicitly states otherwise. No rule-change may have retroactive application.

*

108. Each proposed rule-change shall be given a number for reference. The numbers shall begin with 301, and each rule-change proposed in the proper way shall receive the next successive integer, whether or not the proposal is adopted.

If a rule is repealed and reenacted, it receives the number of the proposal to reenact it. If a rule is amended or transmuted, it receives the number of the proposal to amend or transmute it. If an amendment is amended or repealed, the entire rule of which it is a part receives the number of the proposal to amend or repeal the amendment.

*

109. Rule-changes that transmute immutable rules into mutable rules may be adopted if and only if the vote is unanimous among the eligible voters. Transmutation shall not be implied, but must be stated explicitly in a proposal to take effect.

*

110. In a conflict between a mutable and an immutable rule, the immutable rule takes precedence and the mutable rule shall be entirely void. For the purposes of this rule a proposal to transmute an immutable rule does not "conflict" with that immutable rule.

*

111. If a rule-change as proposed is unclear, ambiguous, paradoxical, or destructive of play, or if it arguably consists of two or more rule-changes compounded or is an amendment that makes no difference, or if it is otherwise of questionable value, then the other players may suggest amendments or argue against the proposal before the vote. A reasonable time must be allowed for this debate. The proponent decides the final form in which the proposal is to be voted on and, unless the Judge has been asked to do so, also decides the time to end debate and vote.

*

112. The state of affairs that constitutes winning may not be altered from achieving n points to any other state of affairs. The magnitude of n and the means of earning points may be changed, and rules that establish a winner when play cannot continue may be enacted and (while they are mutable) be amended or repealed.

*

113. A player always has the option to forfeit the game rather than continue to play or incur a game penalty. No penalty worse than losing, in the judgment of the player to incur it, may be imposed.

*

114. There must always be at least one mutable rule. The adoption of rule-changes must never become completely impermissible.

*

115. Rule-changes that affect rules needed to allow or apply rule-changes are as permissible as other rule-changes. Even rule-changes that amend or repeal their own authority are permissible. No rule-change or type of move is impermissible solely on account of the self-reference or self-application of a rule.

*

116. Whatever is not prohibited or regulated by a rule is permitted and unregulated, with the sole exception of changing the rules, which is permitted only when a rule or set of rules explicitly or implicitly permits it.

*

Mutable Rules

201. Players shall alternate in clockwise order, taking one whole turn apiece. Turns may not be skipped or passed, and parts of turns may not be omitted. All players begin with zero points.

In mail and computer games, players shall alternate in alphabetical order by surname.

*

202. One turn consists of two parts in this order: (1) proposing one rule-change and having it voted on, and (2) throwing one die once and adding the number of points on its face to one's score.

In mail and computer games, instead of throwing a die, players subtract 291 from the ordinal number of their proposal and multiply the result by the fraction of favorable votes it received, rounded to the nearest integer. (This yields a number between 0 and 10 for the first player, with the upper limit increasing by one each turn; more points are awarded for more popular proposals.)

*

203. A rule-change is adopted if and only if the vote is unanimous among the eligible voters. If this rule is not amended by the end of the second complete circuit of turns, it automatically changes to require only a simple majority.

*

204. If and when rule-changes can be adopted without unanimity, the players who vote against winning proposals shall receive 10 points each.

*

205. An adopted rule-change takes full effect at the moment of the completion of the vote that adopted it.

*

206. When a proposed rule-change is defeated, the player who proposed it loses 10 points.

*

207. Each player always has exactly one vote.

*

208. The winner is the first player to achieve 100 (positive) points.

In mail and computer games, the winner is the first player to achieve 200 (positive) points.

*

209. At no time may there be more than 25 mutable rules.

*

210. Players may not conspire or consult on the making of future rule-changes unless they are team-mates.

The first paragraph of this rule does not apply to games by mail or computer.

*

211. If two or more mutable rules conflict with one another, or if two or more immutable rules conflict with one another, then the rule with the lowest ordinal number takes precedence.

If at least one of the rules in conflict explicitly says of itself that it defers to another rule (or type of rule) or takes precedence over another rule (or type of rule), then such provisions shall supersede the numerical method for determining precedence.

If two or more rules claim to take precedence over one another or to defer to one another, then the numerical method again governs.

*

212. If players disagree about the legality of a move or the interpretation or application of a rule, then the player preceding the one moving is to be the Judge and decide the question. Disagreement for the purposes of this rule may be created by the insistence of any player. This process is called invoking Judgment.

When Judgment has been invoked, the next player may not begin his or her turn without the consent of a majority of the other players.

The Judge's Judgment may be overruled only by a unanimous vote of the other players taken before the next turn is begun. If a Judge's Judgment is overruled, then the player preceding the Judge in the playing order becomes the new Judge for the question, and so on, except that no player is to be Judge during his or her own turn or during the turn of a team-mate.

Unless a Judge is overruled, one Judge settles all questions arising from the game until the next turn is begun, including questions as to his or her own legitimacy and jurisdiction as Judge.

New Judges are not bound by the decisions of old Judges. New Judges may, however, settle only those questions on which the players currently disagree and that affect the completion of the turn in which Judgment was invoked. All decisions by Judges shall be in accordance with all the rules then in effect; but when the rules are silent, inconsistent, or unclear on the point at issue, then the Judge shall consider game-custom and the spirit of the game before applying other standards.

*

213. If the rules are changed so that further play is impossible, or if the legality of a move cannot be determined with finality, or if by the Judge's best reasoning, not overruled, a move appears equally legal and illegal, then the first player unable to complete a turn is the winner.

This rule takes precedence over every other rule determining the winner.

*
So, who wants to play?

[Here lies the body of Sane Co.]

Here lies the body of Sane Co.
Whom nobody never really got to know,
He tried to draw like Illyich,
Until his pencil was a stick,
Then he suddenly died from exhaustion.