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Do you really see that happening, though?

I don't think any of your opinions are ignorant, i stole your car. They are your opinions and you are just as entitled to them as I am to mine.

As insensitive as it might sound, I just can't bring myself to be enraged over this issue because I just eat the meat. In most cases I have no idea where it came from, and I probably couldn't tell the difference between free-range or battery.

And just to give a bit of insight on my standpoint, I quite literally am unable to eat most vegetables. They make me dry heave and I feel like I'm about to be sick. It's a sad state of affairs, and I wish things were different, but meat is more or less the only thing I can eat without being on the verge of puking. It's not really a choice for me.

Torin's Passage is like my favourite AG ever.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, I totally didn't pick up on that.

ManicMatt: I disagree that it's defeatism. Let's say that Meowster has convinced one person reading this thread to eat free-range products instead. They go to the supermarket and buy free-range, the other product they would have bought remains on the shelf.

Somebody else comes along and buys it instead.

The thing is, when I buy meat from the store that animal is -already dead-. Whatever kind of life it lived, it's now irrelevant as it isn't living it any more.

I'm sorry "i stole your car" but your argument irks me on a fundamental level.

None of us are in any way slamming vegetarians for what they choose to eat (or not to eat). Why are you doing it to us?

Do you actually realise how many field mice and other assorted animals are painfully slaughtered all the time when farmers are collecting all of the things you eat?

And they're not even going to be used for something useful (like food). They just die, caught in the blades of some harvester or other.

I'm not advocating the cruelty that some farmers display towards their slaughter-bound animals, but at the end of the day they're going to end up wrapped in clingfilm in the supermarket whether I personally eat them or not. And when their lives are over it isn't going to matter to -them- what conditions they lived in. Why should it matter to me?

I always know where my towel is.

While I can see the point of the people who are pushing for more people to eat free-range products, the fact of the matter is this.

Given the sheer population of earth, and the percentage of that population who regularly eat meat, it's pretty much certain that you will -never- convince enough of them to eat free-range to make a significant dent in the profit margin of those farmers who don't utilise such practices.

Like someone else said, of course I wish I could live in a world where every single animal that was bred for the sole purpose of eventually becoming food was treated humanely until the end of its days, but here's the thing. I don't. And neither do you.

You might say that this attitude is -why- we have this situation in the first place, but let's be perfectly honest here. There are just too many people supporting and advocating things the way they are right now for even a large group of people to make a difference.

The former. In the form of an entry in the guide describing something.

Happy birthday.

Oh crap, I'm not entering this...

*evades mobsters*

Okay people, the topic for this competition is "Write about anything you like in the style of a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy entry".

For those of you not familiar with the writing of Douglas Adams, WHAT ROCK HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER? Just kidding. Here's a sample entry for "sleep" by DualNames to give you an idea of what we're talking about.

Sleep:
Sleep is an essential process to all beings. Except from the duradindi people on Viltvodle 5. They're beings that lack of insomnia and therefore they never sleep. A fact that the ruthless marketing division hadn't really taken into mind, but by curious facts managed to sell a very decent amount of alarm clocks.

Basically, it's completely random, and that's what makes it funny.

Get going! (pixel trophies may or may not be doled out at some point)

As with the last one, 12 days for submissions, 2 days for voting.

I must admit I would have liked to have given the go-ahead on my idea since it provides more freedom for people to express ideas (and fairer to people who haven't heard of Douglas Adams), but DN's seems to be more popular, so Hitchhiker's Guide it is.

I'll make a new topic for the actual competition and request that this one be locked.

The thing is, RickJ, that it's not -me- treating the animals that way. And the only proof I have that they're even being treated "humanely" by the people who claim to do so is their word for it. I never know how the animals I eat were treated before they were slaughtered, and regardless of how I might feel about it the fact of the matter is that I never will.

I'm probably going to sound really, really insensitive here. No, seriously. You're going to think I'm an absolutely horrible person and never want to speak to me again.

Okay, so think of it like this.

There are many different ways in which these animals can be treated. Kept holed up in tiny cages, left to roam free.

But all of these paths eventually lead the animal to one common location: your plate.

Whichever way you slice it, no matter what the conditions were these animals have been kept in, they're eventually going to be killed and turned into food.

And at that point, does it really matter how they were treated beforehand?

Never heard of it. I shall check it out when I get a chance.

As usual, your critiques are food for thought, ProgZ. Couple of things, though:

While I always try to avoid falling into the trap of justifying problems by saying "They're meant to be that way!" the extra words are there to fill the syllable quota in each line that's part of my rhyming scheme. I'd have to record it being spoken to illustrate what I mean, but in my head there's a certain number of syllables each line has that makes it a "non-stop" narrative with very few pauses, which is what I was aiming for. Perhaps this style just isn't very good, I don't know.

I should also clarify that the thing that I dreaded wasn't the mere act of switching the monitor on, but what would happen when it was on and I saw that blank project once again. I wasn't trying to establish dread with the pushing of the switch, though that is probably, as you stipulated, a break in flow and should be revised.

About the "where" imagine the line had read as "It was another day where I made no progress." where is the word I intended, not were (which would subtly change the meaning of the sentence). However, I'm not actually sure whether where is the appropriate word, maybe when would fit better?

You're right about that "many-layered graces" bit. The whole section is pretty bad, on reflection. Oh well, this is why we post things here, isn't it? ^_^

Thanks as always for your comments. And your Cuppit line was better than mine.

That's an excellent point, and you're not the first person to tell me that. I guess I tend to get caught up a bit in description and verbosity when I'm writing. This one is made slightly more difficult by the fact that the narrator is a bit like that by design, but I don't want to end up using that as a crutch for truly bad writing. And if people can't tell that the wordy clutter is supposed to be a facet of the narrator's character, then I'm not doing my job right. Thanks for the feedback. ^_^

I always want critique on things I post in here. Can't improve if I don't get feedback. ^_^

All good points that I'll take into consideration.

About using the name "Gaia", yes I'm sure. It's by no means original, but I like it.

About overuse of the word imagine and the religion sentence...it's part of the narrator's personality. He's a bit long-winded, and he tends to go off on tangents. This will be made a lot clearer in later chapters, but if it's too distracting in this one I'll rethink the idea. And I quite like your rewording of the latter, as well as the rewording of the part about trained eyes. That bothered me as well but I couldn't think of a better way to say it. Thanks for that.

That's far too much mental processing for half 5 in the morning. I'll tackle it later.

I bet you could probably rattle them off from memory.

Okay, I had a fit of inspiration today and have roughly drafted the first chapter of my novel Tundra. I'm never really sure how long a "chapter" should be, but this seemed to be a fairly decent length. As always, comments, criticism, death threats, marriage proposals and anything else you feel like saying are welcome.

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Tundra: Chapter 1

Imagine if you will a world much like your own, where there are people who look just like you. There is plant and animal life on this world more or less the same as that to which you are accustomed, and the people eat pretty much the same things as you. Unless you were to really dig under the surface, you might not notice any difference between this world and yours at all.

One difference that you might notice when digging under the surface (as is human nature to do) is that the concept of religion doesn't exist in this world. Oh, there are of course theories of how the world came to be - two in fact - but the believers and practitioners of these two theories live in perfect harmony with each other and both acknowledge the possibility that the other one might be right after all.

The first theory, generally known throughout the civilised world as Zodiac, stipulates that 12 beings of immense power created the world and that each of them placed a part of their essence into its core to shape it. They were Aquarius, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Libra, Virgo, Leo, Cancer, Gemini, Taurus, Aries and Pisces.

The second, known as Serpentalis, stipulates that the world is the shed skin of a giant serpent - one of many such worlds, though nobody has ever produced proof that more exist - who watches over the people and ensures that there is balance in all things.

They both have their places in the world, and are united in the fact that neither of them are true. But I digress.

Now that you've imagined this world (which is called Gaia, by the way), imagine that upon its mass lie four continents. All have names, but the only one on which we need currently focus is called Danero.

Imagine that somewhere on this continent is a small, dense forest. Imagine that in the middle of this forest is a wooden hut, with plumes of smoke rising from its chimney. Imagine a large wild boar roasting on a spit next to the door.

Imagine two men outside this hut engaged in heated swordplay.

It is here that our story will begin.

Metal clanged on metal. Swords danced in a fluid display of skill, as did the men wielding them. To the trained eye the elder of the two combatants held a slight upper hand, but the younger was more than holding his own and indeed to the untrained eye they would have appeared equals. They parted briefly, each appraising the other, warily circling with blades at the ready in case of a sudden attack.

"You're improving more every day, boy. Keep this up and you might even best me someday!" the older man chuckled, the laughter in his eyes belying the cautious fighting stance he remained in.

"And on that day, sir, there will be a banquet in my honour!" laughed the youth, relaxing.

In a flash of movement quicker than the boy could register, he was on the ground with the tip of his opponent's sword kissing his throat and a long slash in his plain white tunic.

"Tell me, boy," the old man began as he offered his fallen adversary a hand, "what has just happened here."

"You knocked me down while I was distracted."

"Oh, is that the way of it? Yes, of course that is what occurred here. You were distracted and I, a simple old fool, played a dirty trick upon you." the man's demeanour suddenly changed and his eyes flashed momentary anger as he clipped the boy on the ear. "I thought I had taught you better than that, Giya Vantana, but evidently I was mistaken. What happened, my boy, is that you got cocky in the heat of battle and your dishonourable foe gave you a red smile."

"But you said-"

"NEVER let your guard down! Not for a well-intentioned word, not for the promise of riches or food, not for an instant! Do you understand me? Never."

"I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again." said Giya, wiping a brunette lock of hair out of his eyes.

The time that the boy had spent training with this man had done nothing to dampen the awe he evidently felt at the man's skill with a blade in his hand. After all, he wasn't much to look at: grizzled, unkempt features; tattered brown robes; dirty bare feet. Many were the lithe young men who fancied him an easy target for a few extra gold coins and ended up less an ear for their trouble. Tyrias Magamei was not a man to be taken lightly.

And Tyrias Magamei it was who met his young apprentice once more in a clash of steel - the impact jarring his old bones more than he would ever have admitted - and the training continued.

Wait, perhaps I was getting too far ahead of myself. To truly tell this tale we will have to head back seven years or so, to when Giya Vantana was but a child...and the planet wasn't on the verge of turning to ice.