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Well, it's that time again.  And though the best vagina entry bowed out... I think I'll have to give it to the second best.

I was a bit torn on this one because, while Krysis' is clearly the best photoshopping job, TOXON, in my opinion, would make a pretty kick ass superhero.  I mean, he has the magical neck-cutting "Frizbee of Faith!"  And since we were looking for the WORST superhero, I will give the anxious Huw Dawson the win for his ham-fisted attempt.

(HAM-FISTED!!!  Har har...)

Congrat's Huw.  Now go start the next one!

obligatory:

I really want to see this movie.

Yay! Another entry!  This topic wasn't a complete failure!

I'll give it another 24 hours from this message's timestamp and then decide a winner.  So, any last minute entries hurry up!

You tell that girl that it's your way or the highway!

If you want her opinion, you'll slap it out of her!

I'll just link to this suggestion that I wrote in March, though it mostly echoes (or is echoed by) Andail's solution.

I think rharpe is a bad person because he thinks other people are bad people.

Matt, you don't seem to understand the problem.  They're discussing the nomination process, not the voting process.  Nomination takes the list of every game that has been released during the year, and whittles it down to the "multiple choice" for the voting.  The problem is how to choose which five games most deserve to be nominated for each particular award.

And it's probably a discussion that needs to be had, but first, as SSH suggested, it needs to be decided who will run the awards.

And if you lick him, you'll go on a spectacular trip!

* Vince Twelve strokes his 14 DVD Monty Python's Flying Circus Box Set

Heh heh, you're right, that was a terrible idea!  :

One week down, one to go, and only one (admitedly fairly amusing) entry.  Any more?

1. Do you know of Epidural? You didn't know, you didn't want, your religion didn't allow you to (I think Indians for example want to really feel pain). How about other pain reliefes. For your wife, not for you!

Interesting fact: they don't do Epidurals except in a few hospitals in Japan.  It's a cultural rather than religious thing though.  They're just all about natural birth.  I'm not sure about the exact reasons.  But my wife, after all that, is all for going to America to get some epidural action when and if we have another!

2. Aren't you being a little obessive with your child and wife and all? Come on you had a baby. So what? Everybody does it sometime?

Yes, but not every body has the cutest widdle snugglekins in da ho wide world... yes she is... yes she is!

Here was a recent morning I had:

12:01 AM - Arrive at the hospital with my wife who's water has just broken.
12:45 AM - Get checked into a room and have the tummy hooked up to a baby heartbeat/contraction monitor.
12:50 AM - Checking... nope.  Only 3 cm.  Got a long way to go.
1:30 AM - Contractions grow in intensity and pain.
2:00 AM - 7:00 AM - Grab two or three minutes of sleep in between each painful contraction, wake-up, coach the wife's breathing, fall asleep sitting up again.
7:00 AM - Contractions are less than 3 minutes apart, time for another check... nope.  6 cm.
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM - Holy crap this looks painful.  Wife's eyes are rolled up into her head.
8:00 AM: Another check... nope.  6.5 cm.  No way!
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM - Wife howling in pain.  Me crying my eyes out.
9:10 AM: Another check... 9cm!  It's go time!  It takes three nurses and me to move her out of the bed and into the delivery chair.
9:15 - 9:50: Lot's of pushing.  Where the hell is the doctor?
9:58: Doctor strolls in.  Peeks down there.  Throws on some gloves.
9:59: Doctor catches the baby, clears her air passages, hands her to the nurse, and heads back to the golf course.

Gift of Aldora
En Passant
Dwight of the Living Dead

...

everyone else self endorsed first...

YES!  The EXACT same nose!  It's funny, all the non-Japanese people think she looks like her mom, and all the Japanese people think she looks just like me.

Just had another fun day.  She can follow voices and turn her head to investigate sounds.  She is just so calm and nice.  She only cries when we're changing her diaper.  She hates the cold wipes, we need to heat those things.

And Nikolas, we should totally have that get together.  The women could watch the babies and massage our feet and feed us food whilst fanning us with palm leaves.  We'll sip some beers and chat about how easy babies are and how much we hate it when people use the word "whilst"...    good times...

Thanks everybody!  Everything is still going very well.  She's very healthy and happy.

My site is going to be down for just a little bit, but the pictures will come back up soon!

Edit: Got it all fixed up.  If you care, you can see the Day 3 pictures on the site!

http://www.omahatookinawa.com/emi

Thanks everybody, I just got home from the hospital.  Emi's cuter every day!

Obviously a lot of stuff in my post was less than serious, I was quite tired when I posted it.  Her real middle name is Debra, which is my mother's name.  I would never actually name a baby Robocop.  That name is more for earlobe cysts or black cats.

For those who care, Emi is 3050 grams (6 pounds 11 ounces) and 50 cm (20 inches) long.  She has very long medium brown hair and her eyes are currently a really deep blue grey.

She's nursing like a champ and she's very calm.  As long as she's being held, she's happy.  She's just perfect.

And Kinoko, if you ever decide to come down to lounge on a beautiful Okinawan beach, you'll have to let me know.  Or I may be in Shizuoka some time to show the baby off to family members, in which case, I'll let you know.

I'll post day three's photos up to the site tomorrow.  Now, we're off to bed!

[Emi Robocop Twelve]

On December 3rd, 2005 at about 10:00 AM Tokyo Standard Time, I became a Daddy.

My wife, who I thought was just getting fat, was actually pregnant!!!  Imagine my surprise!  I had to apologize for a lot of comments I had made to her.  "What did you eat, a watermelon?!?!?"  Boy is my face red!

Anyways, it was a long process.  Her water broke at 11:30 PM, which is the optimal time for your water to break to ensure that you get the minimum amount of sleep for the maximum amount of time.  The birth was a relatively painless process.  I didn't feel a thing.  It was just a bit annoying that my wife kept screaming!  For the entire ten hours!!!!  I mean, come on!  It can't be that bad!

Just to humor me, my wife Kumi pretended like she was a character in a movie when the birthing mother grabs the dad and screams, "I hate you!  You did this to me!!!!"  She's so funny!  Though she's taking the joke a bit to far now by not talking to me for two days...

After we started talking again, we agreed that I could choose the middle name, so I present to you:

Emi Robocop Twelve




I quickly set up this little photo album, so you can check out the pictures as I put them up:

http://omahatookinawa.com/emi

Arrested Development is goddamn brilliant.  I've watched it since it started and I can't get enough.  In my opinion, season two was a bit less funny that season one, and season three has been a bit less funny that season two, but it's still the funniest (I should insert the word "non-animated" here just to cover my ass) show on television right now.

If there was any justice in the world, AD would get at least five seasons.  But, we'll have to do with what we got, which was brilliance.

It's supposed to be from the point of view of the guy on the couch.  He's leaning forward and looking between his legs.   Hence the upside-down viewpoint.