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I meant the leaves of the trees, not the bushes.

You really think Mr. Incredible looks cheeky or immature?

Yes.

-Puff out his chest
-Exaggerate the arch of his arms, so they're like ( ) at his sides
-Soften his jawline
-Lower his eyes so he has a taller forehead
-Give him a half smile

Maybe you can make the leaves fit the style of the rest of the backround.

But that doesn't prove anything. It's likely you will not finish the game within the time limit on the first try. Then, knowing what you did up to then, you will beat back that far again. It doesn't demonstrate that you're a better adventure gamer, just a more patient (to the point of stupidity) one.

Here's an example of a better, more-fair "hard" difficulty. (Hypothetical) On this setting, Homer doesn't start out with any items. Instead he must built a makeshift pocketknife from things lying around and he has to find his car keys. Perhaps on this setting he can even die if he does things wrong. Maybe this mode has a few timed or arcade sequences.

This option would be more attractive to the player, since I suspect people would only try the hard setting out of curiousity, not to actually win it (maybe even after they win it on easy).

Better yet, combine the difficulty levels. When you play the game, there are always two solutions to every puzzle (easy and hard).

A time limit seems like a cheap solution to a game design challenge.

Where are these people?

Sounds like you're describing an "enema", not "hypnosis".

I'm impressed by how consistently not funny big brother was on his post above.

Humorblind. 

The swimmer argument is a serious parallel.

ONE

I leave this thread alone for a day or so, and it grows upwards like some unwanted vine pushing through the broken glass on a greenhouse roof. Soon ignorance is crawling in through the window like a jungle viper, ready to unleash its venom of absurdity upon every occupant in the entire skyscraper we call the AGS forums!

now that i know what women are, thanks to big brother . . . what is sex?

Normally, I would tell you that it's an activity that happens to women at gas stations before (and sometimes after) the trucker strangles them. Or that it's a number in German. However, since sex is a broad topic, and I think we can learn something by analyzing several opinions of those less-educated.

I find sex much much fun but it doesn't last very long. At least in my case it lasts around 2 minutes (with the pre-stuff nad the undressing). Am I doing something wrong?

Yes. Never pre-stuff nad the undressing! Leave that to the Japanese.

I think that it is good that sex is fun!

Wrong! All sex is not fun. Even if it were, this would not be good. A little carefully applied critical thinking will keep us from falling into logical pitfalls like this one.

Condoms take the fun out of sex!Ã, 

Oh, so not ALL sex is fun. Maybe you should add that to your previous assertion, you little hypocrite!

Condoms make sex less fun, and we all know it.

Wrong and WRONG. Think of a condom as a lifejacket for the penis. Now you may watch Olympic swimmers compete in goggles and trunks on the television, and think “Wheee, that looks fun. I bet I could do that!” The answer, of course, is no. These athletes have spent a lifetime of training to be able to swim without a lifejacket IN A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT. When swimmers grow accustomed to their lane, they learn their limits (their own stamina, the depth of the pool, etc.). This is very different from the neighborhood snot who jumps headfirst into the creek behind your house, breaking his rotten neck and offering his brain as amoeba-fodder.Ã, 
Now the Olympics don't air a disclaimer before the segment. Why, you ask? The reason is simple: no one in their right fucking mind watches the program and, in a fit of inspiration, dives into the English Channel without protection.

...casual sex doesn't have to hurt...

Are you honestly suggesting that, in spite of your “Colossal” name, you can have intercourse (casual or otherwise) without causing your partner pain?
So why does sex = pain then? Pain communicates dominance over a partner. It reinforces gender roles. Watch some old movies or sitcoms carefully. You'll notice that when the man arrives home from work, the wife flees to the kitchen. What is she afraid of? She could take refuge in any room of the house, so why the kitchen? These questions all point back to the function of sex as conditioned stimulus (in this case, as either positive or negative punishment, where positive is the addition of a negative stimulus as the consequence of an undesired response, while negative is the removal of a negative stimulus as the consequence of a desired response).

Or in layman's terms, “I'm going to bone you because you didn't make me a sandwich” versus “I'm going to bone you until you make me a sandwich”.

Sex is great!

Again, this is not true. I had sex with you last night, and I'm sorry I didn't say it then, since you seemed so proud of yourself, but it was like boning a pillow. Boring and lots of feathers. And the pillow will never be the same…

In my opinion, sex is overrated. Sure, it's fun...

You are probably doing something wrong. Please re-read my answer to Nik's first question. The fun part seems to be a common misconception.

...when a husband and wife... er, I mean, a man and a woman... er, I mean, two consenting adults... er, I mean, n consenting adults, where n = 1 to infinity... er, I mean, n consenting human beings... er, I mean, n consenting organisms... okay, that's enough; my brain hurts.

Math has little to do with sex, unless you're talking about my second definition. We can confidently add this jibberish to the list of other widespread myths like: the Grafenberg spot, punk music on the radio, and female politicians.

Some ideas:

To make this more feasible for a cell phone game:
-Reduce the color count in the background
-Cut up the background into several tilable squares (each can be flipped x/y and rotate 90d). This will free up a lot of memory without really detracting from the quality of the background.

To improve the artistic quality:

-Play with the shapes (especially the tangents) of the overall composition. Notice the points at which the witch intersects the curve of the moon. This can be made much more interesting to look at. Right now, the colors and shapes don't really match the image the theme evokes. Also, for a character in front of the full moon, she looks suspiciously like she's under flood lighting. This is a very mysterious and exciting subject that's made banal by the execution. If it's supposed to be cutesy, I'd suggest employing a more SD style.

-Tone down the saturation of the background to make the title text stand out more.

-Make the letter placement/font more uniform for clarity. I always hate it how games are designed for the largest cell phone screen and shrunk down for the ports. This makes no logical sense from a design aspect (only for lazy artists). While it may be readable here, it certainly won't on a phone with a smaller display.

-Tighten up the witch's proportions. Exaggerate the curves to get a more dynamic pose. I'm not sure about the way you truncated her feet and the broom. Remember, the phone's limited memory rarely allows for fullscreen opportunities like this one, so make the best of it and showcase your talent!

-Work on details: Her eyes look odd without the whites. Her hands aren't really gripping the broomstick. I could write more here, but I think working on the overall concept would help the details to fall in place.

Eric, I was surprised to learn this, too. Did you know that they even drive nowadays?

Yea I keep them in bags in the closet.

Actually, I'm lying. I've never been out of this room. But sometimes I see them walking on the street outside my window. And of course, they post here sometimes.

They look a bit like men, but they clean stuff and make dinner and babies. And sometimes they work on adventure games.

Your mom is too stretched out.

But yeah, I would make the sprite swing her shoulders a bit and make her arms move less.

Try shrinking the background so we don't have to scroll left and right to read these damn posts.

Hahah, man, just stumbled on this thread and boy was I missing out.

I loved Rharpe's original post with his advice on picking up women... I think I may have shit myself reading that. Maybe just a little.

[Progzmax's entry wins this.]

This was a good competition, but it must end.

The Ivy, I liked your simple execution, although it's doesn't exactly strike me as villainous.
Buloght, I liked your idea, and a pirate captain makes an admirable antagonist.
Hillybilly, a non-original adversary was indeed welcome. Good job with the rendering!
Seaduck, your idea was good, too. It's been a while since I've thought about Fat Cat. Oh man, the times we've had.

But ultimately, Progzmax's entry wins this. It's an excellent interpretation of a classic villain -- such an elegant protrayal of the Big Bad Wolf. (Although for a game sprite, he'd probably lose the dithering.) The color contrast is particularly striking. Congratulations!

oh no, increator likes fat chicks!Ã,  :o

This is fat to you?

Oh man, I have nothing to contribute... but hilarious....

Especially that last joke...

Maury Ballstein: What do we do when we fall off the horse?
Derek Zoolander: [thoughtfully looking up and mouthing the words silently] ... fall off the horse...
Maury Ballstein: [looking to supply finish] ... we... get back on the horse!
Derek Zoolander: Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast.

You could always use atmoshperic perspective rather than linear perspective. Atmospheric perspective doesn't even require the use of dots!