Messages

and a studded leather

Discworld?

  Nice!  I'll be especially interested to read any Atari 8-bit game reviews.

1. Scavenger
2. Jim Reed
3. Valent Jaineshon

Congrats Ali, on winning the comedy thing!

  Congrats to the winners!  You are going home with awesome trophies to show for it.

I vote Baron and Mandle. 

I liked Blondebraid's entry, but since I'm limited to two it missed the cut...

Congrats to the winners!

1. Cassiebsg
2. Stupot+
3. Ponch

  Easy, that notcher can do cow earmarks as well!

No one knows it's name, but this creature hangs around the cantina listening intently for any secrets that could be sold to the Rebels, the Empire, and/or Jabba.

Fun round and congrats to the winners!

You know if I notched the other side of that disk Ponch, you could store OSD Vol II on it as well.  Just say the word.

1. Gurok
2. Ponch
3. Blondbraid

  Good round guys, and congrats Ponch!

That 5.25" floppy needs an Electronics Boutique brand disk notcher!

[Best setting:]

Best setting: Baron's bar.
Best character(s): Has to be Ponch's Indy.
Best plot:  This one goes to Ponch, for his mainstream audience pleasing plot that sounds a bit more Michael Bay than JJ A.
Best style/word choice:  I'll go with Babar.  I read his entry twice, the first time mildly annoyed and then again right away after it dawned on me.  Nicely done!
Best implementation of newfound knowledge: Baron's pickup guide learned me right on scoring with the ladies.

ââ,,¢Â« KCONAN: ON MUSIC ââ,,¢Â«

I've been exposed to music my whole life.  Whether in the car listening to the radio, taking in a movie, or perhaps zoning out to reruns of Popup Video.  You know how when someone tells a professional comedian “My friends tell me I'm funny” it means that they are both instantly in the same league talent-wise?  Well that applies here, and so it would be a shame if I didn't share my vast internal compendium of musical knowledge with you â€" the laymen.  Below is a handy organized reference on how to make music.  I've included the various types of instruments, from blowey to pluckey and everything in-between, as well handy tips for both crooners and conductors (up to maestro level).

PIANO
1.   Lower head, staring directly at the rectangular black and white things.
2.   Raise hands high in the air.
3.   Mash.

GUITAR (ALL VARIETIES INCLUDING THE BIG ONES)
1.   For slow tempo, pluck or strum the springy wires slowly.  For fast tempo, pluck or strum the springy wires fast.  If playing anything by Cannibal Corpse, thrash around while violently strumming until your fingers bleed.
Pro Tip:  Watch the documentary called Guitar Hero.

DRUMS (FOR NON-RUSH)
1.   Learn that finger twirley thing.
2.   If slow tempo, slowly hit the wood sticks onto the white circle thingys.  If faster tempo, shake head up-and-down and wildly flail about.
DRUMS (FOR ANYTHING BY RUSH)
1.   No, you blasphemer, you can't play Rush.

TUBA
1.   You have to be both cool and stocky to play the tuba.  If you meet these requirements, proceed to instruction 2.
2.   Polish the brass until it's sparkly.
3.   Blow into whichever part of the ungainly thing has a hole.
4.   Depress the brass buttons at your leisure.

TRUMPET
1.   Inflate your cheeks like a blowfish.
2.   Blow into hole.
3.   Depress the brass buttons quickly.
Pro Tip:  Purple, veiny face means you are doing it right.

FLUTE (AND SOME HIGHER END KAZOOS)
1.   If you are male and still in either middle or high school, find a secure room to play this type of instrument alone and never tell any classmates, and then you may proceed to instruction 2.  All others may proceed to instruction 2 without concern.
2.   Place mouth over blowhole.
3.   Blow while randomly covering and uncovering the holes with your fingers.
4.   Dance like a renaissance faire gypsy.

SAXOPHONE
1.   Acquire wayfarer sunglasses and don them.
2.   DO NOT WALK, but coolly sashay over to the instrument.
3.   Smile.
4.   Close eyes.
5.   Blow while depressing brass buttons and sashaying back-and-forth.

ACCORDION
1.   If extracting information from prisoner, proceed to instruction 2.  In all other cases do not proceed.
2.   Secure prisoner in a chair.
3.   Work bellows while fingering keys until he or she talks.

FIDDLE/VIOLIN/CELLO/VIOLA
1.   If it's the small one, place it over your shoulder.  If big, place on the ground.
2.   Appear serious and introspective.
3.   Softly move the small bow-and-arrow thing over the wires repeatedly while swaying your upper body.
Pro Tip:  If you are playing a fiddle and the devil appears, consult Charlie Daniels.

CONDUCTORS (HOW-TO)
1.   You must have long stringy hair and an intense persona, if so proceed to instruction 2.
2.   Loom over orchestra from behind ornate podium and stare.
3.   When they start making noise, raise your arms and begin swinging your hands as if you are swatting flies.  Note: One hand should contain a pointy stick.
4.   Occasionally pause and slowly swing the pointy stick while keeping the other hand still.
Pro Tip:  When finished, deeply bow and take all the credit.

VOCALIST (LEAD SINGER, BACKUP VOCALS DO NOT MATTER)
1.   If you are doing 90s rock, try to sound like Dave Matthews.  For all else just refer to what you do in the shower and never, ever use an autotuner.
Pro Tip:  Appear brooding and indifferent when receiving eager groupies.

Yea, 2016 was crap.  I think my cynicism is at an all-time high these days.

AGS is great and I still dabble with it, but the community is why I stick around these forums.

1. #10
2. #20
3. #23

[Blondbraid]

Best Character: Blondbraid for Jacob
Best Setting: Stupot+
Best Plot: Blondbraid
Best Word Choice: Blondbraid
Best Technical Innovation: Blondbraid
Most Substantive: Blondbraid