Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - kconan

#541
Character: Ponch (Douglas/Biscuit)
Plot: Sinitrena (Really good, thorough storytelling as usual)
Atmosphere: Sinitrena (Old school horror atmosphere) AND WHAM (So good, but argghhh so short)
Background World: LostTrainDude (Rifling through old photos at your old house is a perfect backdrop for horror)
Word Choice/Style: WHAM (Great delivery and premise, though I wanted more)
Scariness: Sinitrena
#542
  Awesome stuff!  I'm looking forward to seeing more of this one.
#543
 Any more opinions?  I'm on the fence for getting this one, not a concern money-wise but if the game is worth it time-wise.
#544
  I didn't open shit for the variant that hit me off of Pirate Bay or possibly BitSoup.  My company virus scanner/spyware blocker claimed to have closed a bunch of windows that the malware attempted to open.  No EXEs, no open browser window, nothing.

  The virus didn't delete anything or encrypt data, as it threatened to do, and was easy to get rid of.  Perhaps I had an older less harmful version of it.

  EDIT: Just checked, I had the FBI Moneypak virus.  Which also claims to encrypt, but is different from Cryptlocker.
#545
  ”I assume you've heard the stories,” said my girlfriend Sheila.  I grinned and replied, ”Which story?  This place has many super-cliché backstories.”  We walked away from my “broken” AMC Eagle SX/4 towards the spookiest house in all of Pennsylvania.  The rumor is that this place makes an October night at the Amityville estate look like a relaxing day at the spa, and I had inside knowledge that this was true.  Since I pretended as if my ride threw a rod, the other option for Sheila to consider would be walking thirty miles on a hilly gravel road back to town in a light rain.  Not being superstitious types, my girlfriend (AKA the birthday girl) and I boldly marched up to Apollyon Abbey.  The abbey enjoyed a brief stint as “Maxwell's Manor”, until Mr. Maxwell met an untimely end by somehow falling into a running wood chipper while attempting to mulch in the backyard.  Sheila shook her head slowly while reciting the history of Apollyon Abbey, ”So an orphanage was built on a Native American burial ground, and then after the orphanage burned down it was turned into a mental hospital.  The next owner decided to make the place into an Abbey.”  I added, ”…and don't forget the crazy mom who killed her only daughter in the backyard, and was later tortured and burned as a witch.”  Sheila gripped the old cast iron gargoyle door knocker, lifted it up, and brought it down which resulted in a noise that sounded like a roar.  The front door creaked open, and myself and Sheila stepped inside...

  …and I yelled ”SURPRISE!”  Sheila gasped.  My head slowly swiveled from side to side to admire the carnage.  The room smelled of death and the floor was covered in gore, viscera, and blood splattered party favors.  Jeff was swinging from a chandelier by his neck, a gaping wound in his stomach that was leaking blood and entrails.  He was a cosmetic artist, and could have done this himself as part of a cool special effect.  But Jeff was not breathing, and more importantly, the large intestines spilling out of him were too lifelike to be anything but real.  There was a large statue of a knight holding a giant claymore sword, and this was where Mindy had been impaled while wearing a party hat that proclaimed “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and clutching a fluorescent kazoo in her right hand.  A giant cake sat in the middle of the room, and a dead male stripper with a cake knife embedded in his forehead was slumped half-in and half-out of it.  Mr. Jackson, who was Sheila's favorite college professor, was near the fireplace laying face-up on top of a giant wooden globe wearing a shirt that read “Shelia = Best Student Ever”; his cause of death must be related to the fireplace poker which had been shoved into his mouth.  Tom was in several places, though his upper half still clutched a large pink piñata.  Sheila's sister April was bright and cheery in life, but in death she was splayed out like a snow angel having been strangled with multi-colored streamers.  Jason's body was surrounded by a sea of balloons with no visible cause of death.  Ari's torso and arms were in a chair; his hands were propped up with kebab sticks to help hold a banner that read “Surprise Sheila!”  Parts of what were once Sheila's brothers had been stacked in a corner and sprinkled with glitter. 

  My girlfriend vomited, started shaking, and then turned to me with bloodshot eyes and screamed, ”You sick bastard!“ Sheila then ran like hell for the tree line of the woods behind the house.  I watched her run, and as the light rain had just let up, I could clearly hear the sound of a bear trap closing followed by a scream.  While strolling from the front to the backyard, I could see Sheila crawling towards the wine cellar door.  Just as I made it to her, she had the door half open and asked, ”Why?”  I replied, ”How DARE you!  YOU think I did this?”  She said, ”Why are you so calm?  Why are you acting weird?”  I chuckled and said, ”Oh, well that's because I did this.  Now don't be late for the party sweetie.”  Sheila slammed the cellar door in my face.  I sighed, and took out the old key, inserted it into the lock, and opened the door.  I walked down the isle of wine racks, swatting cobwebs out of my face.  Glancing at the wine I decided that later I would celebrate both Sheila's birthday and Halloween with a bottle of the best this collection had to offer.  There was some blood on the floor, presumably from Sheila's bear trap injury, and so I began to track her progress through the cellar.  I came upon a large closed door which I knew lead upstairs into the house, and carefully opened it.  Sheila was rifling through a cabinet, and just as I got to her I saw a large barrel pointed at my chest.  This, I had recognized, was the business end of an antique 8-gauge Colt side-by-side shotgun.  Sheila pulled the front trigger…

  …which clicked on nothing as the gun was empty.  I grabbed Sheila and said, ”Ok I'm sorry…You said not to get you anything, but you know no one ever really means that.  It's like a figure of speech.”  My girlfriend swung a sharp elbow towards my face, which I ducked, and then said, "What?!  Did you want a clown?  You know you are too old for that.".  We struggled, and then I managed to get behind her and lock in a full nelson.  I whispered, "Ok, it should have been more romantic.  Maybe less "family and friends genocide" and more "you and me time".  But hey, you used to tell me that Jeff was always hanging around too much anyway.  At least that is no longer a problem.  Well, ok technically he is still hanging around."  Sheila tried a reverse head-butt, but I simply pushed my interlocked hands forward.  Then she tried stomping my foot with her uninjured leg, and as I was about to break the hold...

  …a bright light flashed in front of us and we both went flying to the floor in different directions.  It was her!  Enough blood had been spilled to awaken the Cherokee princess who was an orphan, then mental patient, and then later murdered by her witch mother.  The only bright side of course was that at the end, at least she wasn't an orphan.

  My girlfriend appeared to be unconscious.  The ethereal form of a Cherokee princess, complete with feathered headband and sparkling jeweled necklaces, picked up the shotgun and aimed it at my head.  Trying to move away from her target line was proving slow and difficult, as it now felt like life was going in slow motion.  I said, ”I brought you a sacrifice.”  It tilted its head to the side, and I advised, ”That gun isn't loaded…” and then the ghost pulled the rear trigger on the 8-gauge shotgun causing Bob Coachman's head to explode like a hot blood sausage.

  Sheila shot up, and tried to limp away from her now ex-boyfriend and the bloodthirsty apparition he summoned.  The ghost moved towards her, and Sheila pleaded, ”Please, you just saved my life…Don't hurt me!  I'll do whatever you want!  You want me to tell stories of your plight?  Somehow avenge your death?  Give the remains of your physical body a proper burial?  Anything!”  The ghost rocked her head from side-to-side while humming.  Sheila recognized the tune.  It was the Happy Birthday song.
#546
  A different flavor of that one got me a few weeks ago...I was using my laptop while visiting my cousin's place in Nashville and had been looking for some torrents on Pirate Bay when my spyware blocker went crazy.  I closed everything figuring nothing had happened, and came back later to find a version of that screen.  It tried to appear to be a joint effort between a local ISP and the FBI, and basically said you had to pay a fine for the first offense.  It correctly showed directories where I had MP3s and AVIs.

  Now since I'm not familiar with the ISP I was using, I freaked out for about a minute because I had heard that some ISPs in the U.S. were cracking down on people downloading torrents.  And that lasted until I actually read through the fine print.  Luckily, it was clearly a fear-based scam written by the King Kong of idiots. 

  So I looked up the virus on another computer and how to get it rid of it.  I rebooted in safe mode with command prompt, deleted some registry entries, ran both Spybot and my company's virus cleaner, and then everything was fine.
#547
Quote from: Ponch on Thu 03/10/2013 05:53:17
When is Bolt Action II: Highways of Silence coming out?

Production has halted indefinitely, sorry everyone that was eagerly waiting for news/updates!  Yes, both of you.
#549
  They will produce free energy for everyone, but can't ship a tote bag internationally.  The guy has a variety of patents and designed products on commercially successful cars, but can't drop 7k on his own prototype.  The "updates" are rambling on about truth and light.

  Stupot+ might be right about it being designed for something like a documentary on fooling suckers.  Ponch's browser history has less red flags than that campaign. 8-)
#550
The Rumpus Room / Re: Name the Game
Sun 22/09/2013 16:10:46
Quote from: Crimson Wizard on Sun 22/09/2013 16:07:36
Barn Runner: The Prick Who Came In From The Cold

Yep, your turn.
#551
The Rumpus Room / Re: Name the Game
Sun 22/09/2013 15:50:45


Not just the franchise, but specifically which game?
#552
The Rumpus Room / Re: Name the Game
Sat 21/09/2013 18:19:07
Spaceship Warlock

We did that one a while back.
#553
General Discussion / Re: GTA V
Fri 20/09/2013 05:27:24
http://teamcoco.com/video/conan-highlight-clueless-gamer-gta5

The latter half of this video "review" is pretty funny.  Conan gets beatup and then kicked out of a strip club a few times, so he returns for revenge in an attack helicopter.
#554
The Rumpus Room / Re: Name the Game
Thu 19/09/2013 04:47:01
Quote from: Gribbler on Sun 15/09/2013 22:30:44
Maybe another, more revealing screenshot would help someone guess this game?

Agreed.
#555
General Discussion / Re: GTA V
Wed 18/09/2013 15:17:48
  I'm reading some awesome reviews, and insane stories from players.  Naturally I have a PC and a Wii U and can't play :-[

  I really liked Vice City, but haven't bothered with the series since then until hearing about GTA 5. 
#556
Cool topic, and some new writing comp faces!

Character: Bogdan, Baron
Plot: Sinitrena
Atmosphere: Sinitrena
Background World: Sinitrena
Word Choice/Style: Baron
Topic: LostTrainDude
#557
  Just tried adding my game, and got an error.  Was taken back to the upload page and had to re-add screenshots, and then tried again to get a Page Not Found.
#558
  I played one a while back called Zeus Quest that was pretty funny, though I only got a little ways into it since I don't usually play mobile games.
#559
It is love at first sight with that car (nod)  Hey low poly car with gatling gun attachments, did your suspension hurt when you fell from heaven?

Holy cow I just checked out the page, what a super-talented artist.
#560
  Sounds like fun!  I'm game for helping with VA Baron.  Specifically for the father and/or bully, as I think the nerd voices would be too high for my range.  If you'd like some test voices I can send you those this weekend; on a work trip at the moment.

  I can also donate an old school arcade game cabinet object, which shamelessly plugs a game I made last year.

  I'd offer to help with beta-testing, but my October schedule is crammed full of trips and other commitments.
SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk