Adventure Game Studio

Listen to this audio short story https://soundcloud.com/sane_co/do-not-read-this-aloud-read

Do not look at the written transcript until you have finished the story.

                                    Do Not Read This Aloud
It all started when I, for science of course, named my kids Yuu, Mi and Hur. Unfortunately, everybody in the town named their kids things like this. Pure sitcom material there, but that's what you get when you live in a scientific community. The founders of the town were scientists too. You can tell because the town's name is Day. The two neighboring towns are called Morrow and Nite. This led to much confusion such as, “Let's go to Day tomorrow,” or, “Yesterday we went to Day and came back to Morrow.”
   The kids were playing with some other kids from the neighborhood; I think Ai, Hee and Schee were their names.
   â€œMiss Tury?”
   The kids were quite cute, he should have said Mrs. Tury, but I let it slide. “Yes?” I asked.
   â€œI'm wondering if you wanted to talk to Miss Ull.”
   â€œNot now, Schee, I'm busy.” Schee ran back to play with his friends.
   â€œHey Yuu, let's play with her,” Schee said pointing to Mi.
   â€œI don't want to play with Yuu, I want to play with Hur.”
   Hur spoke up. “Yuu is fun to play with, why don't you think so Mi?”
   â€œYuu pulled Miss Tur's beard.”
   â€œWomen shouldn't have beards, plus I was little when that happened.”
   â€œIt doesn't matter how old Ai was.”
   â€œI was talking about me,” Yuu replied.
   â€œYou were talking about Ai,” Mi said
   â€œI was talking about myself.”
   â€œOh.”
   â€œWell... Umm... We went to Morrow yesterday, we only got back to Day today,” said Ai, changing the subject
   â€œMi, Hur, Yuu and I went to Morro five days ago, went to Nite and didn't come back to Day until yesterday,” Schee said.
   â€œDo you guys want to go to Nite today?” Yuu asked.
   â€œI don't see why not,” Schee said, “but we should be back to Day by tonight.”
   Mi and Hur walked up to me and asked, “Miss Tury, may we go to Nite today?”
   I thought about it. “No, but maybe we could go to Morrow, I need to get some spices there.”
   â€œBut we want to go today, not tomorrow.”
   â€œWe're already in Day.” I replied.
   â€œWe meant we want to go now.”
   â€œWe can't go to Nite though. I have to get spices at Morrow.”
   The boy ran outside, “Do you want to go to Morrow instead?
   â€œI want to go today,” Schee said.
   â€œNo,  instead of going to Day, Morrow is where we would go.”
   â€œYeah, that's fine.”
   â€œI'll tell Miss Tury.”
   We went to the car to travel to Morrow.
   When we got there we went into the store, there I saw Miss Tur and Miss Ull.
   â€œHey Miss Tury,” they said.
   â€œHey Miss Tur, your beard looks as good as ever. How are you Miss Ull?
   â€œGood, good, Anthony can be quite annoying, but that's about it.”
   There was an akward silence, “Well I better get shopping.” I said.
   â€œHey anthony,” Mi said.
   â€œHey, who are these people with you?”
   â€œThey're my friends, Ai and Hee; my other friend, Schee, is in the car.
   â€œIs she pretty?”
   â€œNo Schee is a he,” Hee replied.
   â€œShe is a trap?”
   â€œNo Schee is not, he's a reverse trap,” Yuu said
   â€œWait, Hee is a reverse trap?”
   â€œYes.”
   Anthony looked at Hee, “You don't look like a reverse trap.”
   â€œI'm not, Schee is,” Hee said pointing in the direction of outside but Yuu was standing in the way.”
   â€œWait, I am confused. Yuu is a reverse trap?
   â€œNo, my friend Schee is.”
   Just then Schee walked in, “Hey guys,” he said.
   â€œIt's a trap!” Anthony said, “I've always wanted to say that.”
   â€œWhat?” Schee asked.
   â€œYou're a reverse trap right?”
   â€œAre you looking to get into a fight?”
   â€œNo.”
   â€œWhat gives you that idea?”
   â€œThey told me...” he said pointing to my children and their friends.
   â€œDon't look at us,” Hee said.
   â€œMom, mom, they lied to me!” yelled Anthony
   â€œYou really should control your children,” said Miss Ull, “They lied to my Anthony, now he's going to need five more years of therapy.
   This was the reason I never stopped my kids from teasing others, I was the only therapist within a sixty mile radius. So I'll have even more money, thus I can buy out even more therapists, thus making me the only therapist within a 300 mile radius. The perfect plan.
   â€œWe need to go to Nite today,” Hee said.
   Yuu jerked up, “Are you thinking what I'm thinking?”
   â€œI think so,” Schee said, “But where are we going to get a toothbrush and defibrillator that size?”
   â€œNo, we should blackmail her.”
   â€œThat's exactly what I was thinking,” Schee said.
   â€œSure you were.”

   â€œIf you don't take us to Nite today, we'll tell dad where all his candy went.”
   They had got me, they were the perfect children, so I couldn't blackmail them back. Fine,” I said.   
   â€œYeah!” Ai said.
   â€œWe did it,” Schee said.
   I was going to get those kids back for this someday.


Tell me what you think. How confusing was it? How much did you understand? How would you have improved it? etc.
The one and only,
Sane Co.

I don't understand your story at all, who are these oddly named characters? I can't really give any pointers to improve other than tell me what's going on.

Also I was expecting I thread for people to post their short stories so... I wrote this audio drama a few weeks ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u4IQxhjys8

Not to hijack the thread or anything...

That kind of humor is suitable for a short joke or the like. This seems really excessive, and I haven't listened to or read the whole thing, nor am I going to.