Do you know the funny news talkshows like Leno or Conan have?
Let's do it here!
The only rules are:
-show headlines only;
-news must be taken from real newspapers/sites, you can't make one in photoshop;
-serious news aren't allowed;
(http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm54/miguel20000/news1_zpsfa74dc85.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/qcDXo2d.png)
Spoiler
I'm a terrible person.
Now I know I was right not to vote for Girl&Rabbit.
(http://i.imgur.com/LIqe5VK.png)
If this was in Portugal the Testicle Armageddon would be upon us!
This reminds me the classic Russian "yellow press" newsline from mid-90-ies. It was the time when russians got rid of communist tyranny and learnt what it is to be free. Sort of.
http://pikabu.ru/view/vampirpederast_971911
Rough translation:
"GAY-VAMPIRE"
"The military pilot bit 9 bikers to death in search for orgasm".
Am I doing this rite?
(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7355/12576576805_8567b59dba_o.jpg)
Thanks CW and Khris! Great entries!
Khris you don't have to use that Mirror News page, the original place where you got it is fine.
It's not a picture, I'm too lazy to take screenshots atm but:
New Zealand Prime Minister John Key: I Am Not A Shapeshifting Space Reptile
Quote from: Ewery1 on Tue 18/02/2014 02:38:16
I'm too lazy to take screenshots
ANARCHY!!!!!!!!!1111 (laugh)
Edit:
Ninja-Edited for teh evulz!
Edit2:
edit.
I've lost control of the situation!
So, what happens to people who lose control of a situation... in your country?
I know, I'm getting restless here, but I still have faith on this thread!
OFF COME THE TESTICLES!!!!!
This would make for a great news headline.
C'mon guys, keep the news coming, my balls are in peril!
(http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm54/miguel20000/sex-causes-pregnancy_zpsf897315e.jpg)
I'm breaking the headline only rule to post this classic:
[bacon](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SqhhJb_P3Kk/SepEDnmJlPI/AAAAAAAAGeE/Sk8w_Df_Wrg/s400/missing+bacon.jpg)[/bacon]
Hey! Selmiak's in the newspapers!
=========================
MAN SPENDS 3 YEARS MAKING A FULL-LENGTH POINT-N-CLICK, THEN GETS FAMOUS FOR RELEASING A MINUTE-MADE ONE-ROOM GAME.
A man was arrested yesterday while he was wandering naked on the streets in a state of extreme confusion. Later during questioning he said to the policemen: "... and to believe that all I had to do was releasing Don't Push The Button!".
(http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1094421!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/bloom13n-4-web.jpg)
damned intertubes, the news spread faster than with the speed of light... :P
Here's something I found whilst checking out my newsfeed:
[imgzoom]https://fbcdn-photos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1510968_705499826149441_1205006581_n.jpg[/imgzoom]
E: Holy Shit. (laugh)
(http://i.imgur.com/QIj0vxi.jpg?1)
This changes everything!
(http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm54/miguel20000/funny-newspaper-headline-14_zps3ae7d55c.jpg)
(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7460/12665358305_280169839d_o.jpg)
What makes this extra
funny tragic is that he could've been saved easily but refused medication, because he thought the deadly viper biting him was god's will and used to publicly say that if he ever went to a doctor or hospital over a snakebite he'd leave the church
haha :(
(http://i.imgur.com/i5qmdR6.jpg)
"I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler."