Ok first i thought about making a stupid forum game where everyone who's ok with being insulted would add their names here, then there would be insult duels like in monkey island but then I also thought that this could get out of hand and decided that everyone here could add their best insults, I always like to have a few to use when needed hehe. It would be great if you would have your own original insults and not use others (Like all yo momma's jokes) but if you have your own versions just type them here. Ok, I'll start off gently with these 2:
1.
Your wife/husband must be a saint and should receive a life time achievement award for being able to put up with such a/an "%¤##&##" such as yourself (Almost told this to a boss of mine once but that wouldn't have worked out in my favour so I didn't) :D
2.
Ah I see your face is all shiny and scratch/bruise free. Guess you didn't try to pick up a girl for a while.
I hope to hear yours and I will add more of my own later on :D
I seem to remember us having an insult game here some time back?...
Anyway, here's another (not very good but thought of on the spur of the moment):
3.
Congratulations. You could walk into a room full of idiots and still bring the average IQ down.
It's not mine but I couldn't resist posting this old one by Marcel Pagnol :
4. The day that they make the morons dance, you won't be playing with the band.
This one belongs to the Michelangelo of insults: Winston Churchill:
Woman: "If you were my husband I would put poison in your coffee!"
Man: "If you were my wife I would drink it."
and of course the immortal (source unneeded I feel) :
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
Quote from: CaptainD on Wed 21/12/2016 14:46:40
I seem to remember us having an insult game here some time back?...
Hmm you might be right but I can't remember for sure haha oh well this is fun. Churchill did have his moments I must say :D
here's another one I came up with while making dinner earlier
"I thought you were here (Peeking inside someone's office or whatever) I ouuld smell it from downstairs/my idiot-detector suddenly overheated/I saw the exterminator's van outside"... and so on :D
For me this one of the best insults of all time - "He's only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer. That is his crime. It is also his punishment."
To personalise...
"You are what you are. That is your crime. It is also your punishment."
Haha that is a good one!
Few people can beat Grouch Marx when it comes to fun insults;
(http://statusmind.com/images/2014/10/Hilarious-Quotes-50208-statusmind.com.jpg)
I've never had cause to use this insult myself but I'll never forget these word sprayed up the side of someone's wall from when I was a kid.
"You are a geriatric, fart-sniffing, bum-hole-licking bender boy."
I realise now that's horribly homophobic (and for some reason ageist), but as a 9-or-10-year-old kid, that had a certain ring to it and stuck with me. I always wanted to know who wrote that, and why.