Insult Swordfighting: Difference between revisions
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==The Premise== | ==The Premise== | ||
Insult Swordfighting was a unique and interesting puzzle featured in most of the Monkey Island adventure games by LucasArts. The premise was that, as Guybrush, you would swordfight various pirates and eventually the Swordmaster. A sucessful counter to an insult means that you're one step closer to defeating the other person. The entire point of Insult Swordfighting in the Monkey Island games was to learn enough comebacks that you could use with the Swordmaster. Although the Swordmaster's insults are entirely different than the pirates' insults, the same comebacks can be used with certain ones. | Insult Swordfighting was a unique and interesting puzzle featured in most of the Monkey Island adventure games by LucasArts. The premise was that, as Guybrush, you would swordfight various pirates and eventually the Swordmaster. A sucessful counter to an insult means that you're one step closer to defeating the other person. The entire point of Insult Swordfighting in the Monkey Island games was to learn enough comebacks that you could use with the Swordmaster. Although the Swordmaster's insults are entirely different than the pirates' insults, the same comebacks can be used with certain ones. | ||
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* If the pirate gives the correct response, the advantage goes to him and he picks the next insult (but Guybrush learns the response and has a chance at hearing a new insult). | * If the pirate gives the correct response, the advantage goes to him and he picks the next insult (but Guybrush learns the response and has a chance at hearing a new insult). | ||
* Whoever gains the advantage three times in the match, wins. | * Whoever gains the advantage three times in the match, wins. | ||
Furthermore, Guybrush only uses insults that he's heard. Also important to note is that Guybrush starts with his own useless insults, like "How appropriate, you fight like a cow", "I am rubber, you are glue" and "I'm shaking, I'm shaking!" which were also used by the enemies when they didn't know the correct response to your insult. | |||
The more insults you acquire, the more responses you're capable of hearing. When you've collected the bare minimum of responses, the game tells you that you're good enough to fight the Swordmaster. | The more insults you acquire, the more responses you're capable of hearing. When you've collected the bare minimum of responses, the game tells you that you're good enough to fight the Swordmaster. | ||
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==Insults and Proper Responses== | ==Insults and Proper Responses== | ||
{{Spoiler_warning}} | |||
Below is a list of all the insults (both Swordmaster and Pirate) and their correct responses, organized by game. | Below is a list of all the insults (both Swordmaster and Pirate) and their correct responses, organized by game. | ||
===The Secret of Monkey Island=== | ===The Secret of Monkey Island=== | ||
* '''Pirates''' | * '''Pirates''' | ||
; My handkerchief will wipe up your blood | ; My handkerchief will wipe up your blood | ||
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; You fight like a dairy farmer. | ; You fight like a dairy farmer. | ||
: How appropriate. You fight like a cow | : How appropriate. You fight like a cow | ||
* '''Swordmaster''' | * '''Swordmaster''' | ||
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===The Curse of Monkey Island=== | ===The Curse of Monkey Island=== | ||
* '''Pirates''' | * '''Pirates''' | ||
; Every enemy I've met I've annihilated! | ; Every enemy I've met I've annihilated! | ||
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; I'll hound you night and day! | ; I'll hound you night and day! | ||
: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay! | : Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay! | ||
* '''Rottingham''' | * '''Rottingham''' | ||
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===Escape From Monkey Island=== | ===Escape From Monkey Island=== | ||
* '''Ignatius Cheeses''' | |||
; Ungh... Today by myself twelve people I've beaten. | |||
: Grrr... From the size of your gut I guess they were all eaten! | |||
; Ungh... You're the ugliest creature I've ever seen in my life. | |||
: Ungh! I'm shocked that you never gazed at your wife! | |||
; Aagh... People consider my fist a lethal weapon. | |||
: Ungh...! Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned. | |||
; Give up now, or I'll crush you like a grape. | |||
: I would if it would stop your WINE-ING! | |||
; Aaargh... My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces. | |||
: Grrgh! I'm surprised you can count that high! Aargh! | |||
; I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of. | |||
: Aagh...! It's too bad none of them in your arms! | |||
; You arms are no bigger than fleas that I've met! | |||
: Aagh! So THAT'S why your scratching...I'd go see a vet. Ungh! | |||
; Aagh... Hey! Look over there! | |||
: Ungh! Yes, yes, I know: It's a three head monkey. | |||
; Aaagh... Your knuckles I'll grind to a splintery paste. | |||
: Aaagh! I thought that the bean dip had strange taste...Grrr | |||
; Ungh... Only once have I met such a coward. | |||
: Ungh! He must have thought you everything you know. Err... | |||
; Aaarhg... My ninety-eight year old grandmother has bigger arms than you. | |||
: Ungh...Yeah, but we both got better bladder control than you do. | |||
; I'm going to put your arm in a sling! | |||
: Why, ya studying to be a nurse? | |||
==More Information== | |||
* You can [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insult_swordfighting visit the main Wikipedia entry] for a full description. Just keep in mind that '''this''' article (the one you're reading now) is intended for game designers to look at and possibly emulate or draw inspiration from. | |||
* [http://www.milegend.com/insults/ A full list of all the insults from the Monkey Island games from The Legend of Monkey Island] | |||
[[Category:Adventure_Game_Design]] | [[Category:Adventure_Game_Design]] | ||