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Topics - Ponch

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1


Write a story in which something is broke or broken. It could be anything, a physical item or an abstract concept, just so long as it doesn't work the way it's supposed to. I leave it to you to decide, but you've only got until February 12 to break out your typewriters or quill pens and dazzle us with your words.

Extra double special bonus: There will be trophies! :=

2
Sharpen those pencils and open your notebooks, it's time for the new
FORTNIGHTLY WRITING CONTEST
And this time around the theme is...

SCARCITY

Times are tough all over, and nowhere are people working harder to make do with less than in your story.

Spin me a yarn about characters facing hardships with less than they need to get through it comfortably. They can be lacking any number of things: money, moral support, blood, breathable air, clean socks, or whatever you can think of.

Deadline is June 22. First come, first served. Don't be late. Doors to the FWC soup kitchen / flop house will close at midnight that night, and no other hobo authors in search of work will be let in after that.

Once all submissions are in, I'll give you guys a few days to vote -- but because we're all getting by with less, each of you can only manage to spare a single vote. So make that one vote count! Sure, I know we've all become spoiled with our abundance of votes in the last year or two, but those lush salad days are over. You only get one vote to cast, just like it was back in the old days of this competition, when penny candy cost a nickel and we had to walk to school in ten feet of snow and it was uphill both ways. So save that one vote for the one person you think is most deserving.

It'll be fun, trust me!

Submissions will be judged by the usual criteria and trophies might be handed out, provided that I can cobble something together in this economic malaise. Who wants a store bought trophy anyway? Nothing says love like a homemade gift! :cheesy:

3
So there you were, just sitting at your favorite sidewalk cafe, sipping an espresso from a mug of the finest, bluest china. Then suddenly there was the screech of tires, the blare of a horn, a flash of chrome, a glimpse of tacky wood paneling! Mag wheels! Brown paint turtle waxed to a high shine! So many tinted windows! Fuzzy dice hanging from a rear view mirror! A "shit happens" bumper sticker! Espresso squirted from your nose! Finest, bluest china shattered on the concrete! Your chair tipped over! You found yourself on your back, looking up at the sun! There was the unmistakable smell of unleaded gasoline and the aroma of undeserved smugness in the air... and a faint whiff of cow flatulence.

Laying next to you on the sidewalk is a small package, wrapped in brightly colored paper with a big, gaudy bow. A tag taped clumsily to the package bears your name in a childish scrawl drawn with the thick swipes of a purple magic marker.

Do you open the package?

NO:
A safe decision. Risk taking is for reckless fools, the sort of people who live exciting lives filled with thrills, danger, and many attractive sexual partners. Wisely you have avoided all of that by choosing to go back to your apartment and never leave it again. You are sure to live a long, boring life surrounded by cats and houseplants. Well done, friend. Well done.

YES:
That's it! Live on the edge!

Your reward for risking it all and walking on the wild side? The deluxiest version of an OROW game ever, of course

FLOPHOUSE HIJINKS - SUPER SWANKY EDITION

Brought to you by ¡MiteWiseacreLives!, ¿Kconan?, and ©Ponch®

This game somehow won OROW (I can only assume massive voter fraud was involved) and is now available in a bloated spiffy extended version that is totally worth your time to download and play again! I promise!

This version includes:
• More (too much?) dialog!
• More animations!
Full voice acting!
• Blistering guitar solos!
Gratuitous nudity!
• Fewer bugs and crashes than ever before!
• Cutting edge Left/Right click interface! Taste the future!
Hours of fun game play!
• Winner of "Best Game" - One Room One Week 2015 (Thanks for taking the bribe, Bulba mysterious benefactor! :kiss: )
• Made in Canada!


Don't delay! Download your copy now! and experience the escapist fun of worrying about money and trying to keep a roof over your head. It's a great way to distract yourself from your real life problems!

Thanks again to everyone who voted for us! :cheesy:

4
From The Frozen Wastes To The North Comes...
2034 A.C. (After Canada) II

The adventures of Paige Rowsdower, Royal Canadian Mountie, continue in this second installment of the AGS Award Nominated game series. Thrill to remarkably polite excitement as Paige and her fellow mounties maintain law and order in a world gone to heck. You'll never find an apocalypse so well-behaved!

Car chases! Errant snowballs! Donuts! Recycling! Syrup Stains! Mutants! Assless chaps! Hobos! Goldfish! This game has it all, buddy!


DOWNLOAD HERE
31.4 Mbs

Thanks to Akumayo, Anian, Baron, Ben304, Doc Savage, Frodo, Ghost, HandsFree, Intense Degree, Kconan, SSH, Strazer, SupSuper, and Tzachs for all their help!

Note: This game was originally part of the AGS Bake Sale 2. Thanks to everyone who supported our fundraiser to keep the AGS server going for another couple of years.  :kiss:

5
BackBacon Games Is Proud To Present

2034 A.C. II (After Canada)



With only a week left before the end of Bake Sale 2, it' s time to pimp my game! :=

Yes, I know I should have started this thread before now, but I was in a motorcycle wreck just a few days before Bake Sale II kicked off. I got banged up pretty badly. My motorcycle was totaled and various bits of me were broken, pulled, dislocated, or sprained. I've bee tripping on painkillers for the last couple of weeks and haven't been around the forums very much. So big thanks to the other bakers for picking up the slack and keeping the fundraiser running smoothly while I lay around the house and slept too much.

But you wanted to read about the game, right? Of course, you do! So here's the scoop, eh? This game is the direct sequel to my original MAGS game, released in January of last year. Learn more about that game HERE. This new game takes place a few months after the first one, as the world continues to collapse into chaos and disorder. I'd say more, but I don't want to give away the incredibly awesome obvious clever twists.

Features:

* Exciting Driving Sequences!
* Assless Chaps!
* Pixelated Corporate Logos!
* Goldfish!
* Lo-Res Partial Nudity
* French Lessons!
* Multiple Inventory Containers!
* Oodles and Oodles of Dialog and Interactions!
* Shameless Use of Jelly Donut Filling for Semi-Erotic Purposes!
* Music by Ben304, HandsFree, and Intense Degree!
* Menu Art by Anian!
* 2 Hours of Gameplay! (more or less)
* Unfiltered Canadian-ness

This game is part of the AGS Bake Sale II bundle. Get over there and purchase a copy, won't you? It's for a good cause: The AGS Community! :cheesy:

Download Now!


UPDATE:
If you downloaded your game before May 8th, you might need to apply this patch to fix a weird bug that could lock up the game.
http://www.barnrunner.com/patches/2034ACII-Hotfix.zip
If you purchased the game after the 8th of May, then your copy is already patched.

6
Just when you least expected it...


(Clockwise from top left: 2034 A.C. II by Ponch, Beer! by Radiant, That Damn Dog by Tzachs, and Blue Lobe Inc. by Baron)


Last time around, we raised money for Child's Play, a very worthy charity. This time around, we're raising money for another good cause: Ourselves. We all use this corner of the web to hang out, chat, find games to play, keep our shared universes of RON and OSD alive, and host our files. And unless your name is Chris Jones or Peder Johnson, then you're getting all this goodness for free. So this time we're hoping to raise a little money to help pay for the AGS server bill.

The bundle is on a "pay what you like" basis, so dig as deep (or as shallow) as you think you need to [minimum payment is 1 dollar -- we have to let the bank squeeze a little blood out of us, sorry]. You'll be getting four great games for one low price. And if you kick in a little extra, anything over the average amount, you'll get access to a nice 'goodies' bundle packed with wallpapers, soundtracks, concept art, and more. It's a win/win. You get four great games and Peder will finally be able to buy the cleaning supplies he needs to wipe off all the old, stale beer and urine that CJ spilled all over the AGS server back when it was still sitting in his flat (on the floor next to his toilet, or so the rumor goes).

We're doing this for you, AGS Community. Help us help you! Let's raise the money we need to help Peder clean the server. With your help, our little corner of the web can be just a little less sticky than it used to be. :=

CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT US!
Bake Sale II runs from May 4th to May 31, 2014. So don't delay!

UPDATE: THE SALE HAS ENDED
TOTAL RAISED: $1025.59
BUNDLES SOLD: 66
AVERAGE PURCHASE: $15.54

TOP DONOR: Darth Mandarb
RUNNER UP: LimpingFish

Thanks to all of you who supported us and helped to keep the lights on around here for the next few years. You guys and gals are awesome! :cheesy:

UPDATE: BY POPULAR DEMAND, THE BAKE SALE IS BACK ON FOR ONE WEEK
CLICK HERE TO MAKE THE MOST OF THIS SECOND CHANCE!
Bake Sale II: The Leftovers runs from June 9th to June 15th, 2014. So don't delay!


UPDATE: THE SECOND HELPING SALE HAS ENDED
TOTAL RAISED: $1121.48
BUNDLES SOLD: 73
AVERAGE PURCHASE: $15.36

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

7
The Rumpus Room / The Greatest Web Browser Game EVAR?!
« on: 21 Nov 2013, 16:17 »
The greatest web browser game ever? Yes. :cheesy:

http://findtheinvisiblecow.com/

8
The annual mad scientist Halloween party is over and you stagger back to your laboratory missing your pants and smelling of stale beer. But as you are tidying up, you notice that something has grown in a Petri dish while you were away. You peer through the microscope... but what do you see?



You are allowed to rotate or flip the shape. There is no color limit. You've got two weeks to show us what you found in your lab. Of course there will be trophies. :cheesy:

9
Oceanspirit Dennis In:
SWEET REVENGE!

Oceanspirit Dennis returns (twice in one day, it would seem) to face his greatest enemy yet! Are you man (or woman) enough to help Dennis fight his way to victory and unravel this latest mystery? Of course you are!

So download now!

I'd tell you more about this game, but I've been on the highway all day and I'm really tired!! What are you waiting for! Play it so I can finally get some sleep!!!!! :=

10

Everyone knows that E. L. James became famous when she adapted her poorly written Twilight fan-fiction into a best-selling poorly-written novel. So here's your chance to take your first step on the Road To RichesTM with your own shoddily-crafted tale of AGS fanfic!

Choose a character or two from your favorite AGS game (or more -- mashups area allowed) and "craft" a piece of fiction around them. Funny, sexy, sad, or informative -- the style and tone are yours to choose. But it must be set in the world of an AGS game and/or star an AGS player character or NPC. But please remember that this is a family friendly forum, so don't get all creepy and explicit like inexplicably best-selling author E. L. James did. Keep it clean, people. :wink:

The competition runs from February 6th through the 19th. Voting will occur from the 20th to the 22nd. Trophies will be awarded once the winners have been determined.

Let the magic commence!  :=


Larry Vales is (c) Phil Reed. Elodie Major is (c) Ben Chandler. They are used here only for educational purposes.

11
Just in time to win your hearts (and win MAGS) comes...

2034 A.C. (After Canada)


This MAGS game follows the adventures of Paige Rowsdower, the newest member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police as she tries to maintain law and order in a world that is collapsing into chaos and anarchy. Of course, since this game is set in Canada, the apocalypse is very well-mannered and polite.

Thanks to the tireless efforts of Baron and Ryan Timothy, I am 100% confident that this game represents Canada perfectly, right down the smallest detail. My thanks go out to them for filling me in on all the subtleties of life in The Great White North. Thanks also to Ghost, who pitched in with some last minute playtesting after Baron's little boy came down with a bad case of moose flu. Since Ghost is German, I can only assume he was even more baffled by Canada than I was before Ryan and Baron held my hand and walked me through the cultural snowdrifts that divided our great nations.

Jokes, donuts, beer, hockey, and snow. It's as close as you can get to being in Canada without actually going there! Beauty, eh?

Download now, eh?

12

Happy Holiday Of Your Choice, AGS Community!

Yes, it's time for another Fortnightly Writing Contest. The theme this time around is seasonally appropriate: Holiday Hijinks!

One fortnight from now, it will be Christmas Eve, the night before my favorite day of the year. The day Santa visits all the good boys and girls (but not Dualnames... never Dualnames := ) and leaves presents under their trees and reindeer poop all over their rooftops.

You have two weeks to write a story / shape poem / erotic haiku about Christmas, Santa, Frosty, Hannukah, Eid, Festivus, Kwanza, Yule, or Winter Solstice (threw in those last two in case you're a godless heathen and not a good, Santa-fearing believer like me ;) ). Just so long as your story has a nice, seasonal feel to it, it can be anything you like. Comedy, drama, horror, BDSM instructional manual, recipe book, etcetera. Just make it winter-y and holiday-y, and have it in before I put out the milk and cookies (beer and pizza) for Santa the night before Christmas.

I look forward to spending my Christmas morning reading your stories.  :cheesy:

(And of course there will be presents for the winners)

UPDATE: Now with trophies! (thanks, Tabata!)  ;-D
                                

13
I'm announcing my new Barn Runner game here instead of the Completed Game Announcements forum because this latest chapter of the long running and slowly winding down Barn Runner saga was made with Game Maker (I await your barrage of rotten vegetables and fruit).

TackyWorld Interactive Proudly Presents
Barn Runner 5: The Forever Friday - Chapter 4


This chapter is an action-packed vertical scrolling shooter in the mode of classic arcade legends like Raiden or 1941. The game consists of nine levels (one of which is secret) and has two difficulty settings: Easy (which is hard) and Hard (which is impossible). There are six different endings, twenty-three variations of enemies, five kinds of power ups, a hidden weapon, and oodles of cutscenes to drive the story forward. It even has support for campaign codes if you've been using those as you played through the earlier Forever Friday games.

But enough of my prattling on, let me pimp my game in the form of tantalizing screenshots! Here's what you can expect if you choose to download:



Lots of enemies, eager to be shot down



Mini-bosses, spoiling for a fight!



Gun Towers, out to shoot everything!



Secret levels, waiting to be found!



Oodles of buttons waiting to be pushed!



Scenic voyages!



Mysterious destinations!



Gigantic boss battles!



And love!


As you can see, this little game has lots to offer a person looking to fill a few hours with a bit of hand-crafted, freeware gaming fun.

The Forever Friday - Chapter 4 "Attack of the Drones"

System Requirements:
* Windows XP, Vista, 7 (and possibly 8)
* 1 GHz processor
* 512 Mb RAM
* 800x600 or greater screen resolution
* 13 Mb hard drive space

DOWNLOAD HERE



And if you're not as familiar with this long-running AGS series (started in 2003!) as you should be, why not try one of my many other Barn Runner games?

The Armageddon Eclair (parts 1 and 2)
The Ejection Rejection
The Mayor's New Dress
Don't Jerk The Trigger Of Love  (Check out the Spatha Owner's Manual, a nice little extra for this game)
Christmas Soup
The Prick Who Came In From The Cold
Cyclone Alley
Fully Automatic Mojo  (Even Better With The 2010 AGS Awards DLC Pack)
Wreck The Halls
The Rich Dame Who Cut The Cheese
The Forever Friday - Chapter 1 "Detour at the Crossroads of Destiny"
The Forever Friday - Chapter 2 "The Big Crazy"
The Forever Friday - Chapter 3 "The Wild Brunch"


Extra special thanks go out to the AGSers who stepped up for a bit of last minute playtesting on machines newer than mine: Ben304, Baron, Dualnames, Frodo, Intense Degree, and WHAM. They pitched in when I really needed them. Thanks guys!  :smiley:

14


That's right! It's time for another writing competition. And since it's October, the theme is
Halloween! Write a story / poem / whatever with a suitably spooky theme and have it posted by
October 26. Any kind of scary story will do. Murder mysteries, witchy tales, unspeakable
Lovecraftian horror, unsettling happenings in a small town in Maine -- anything goes!*

Once the deadline is here, we'll vote and I'll officially announce the winner on Halloween.

I'll have trophies and candy corn ready to pass out before then. Good luck everyone!  :cheesy:

http://www.youtube.com/v/AxcM3nCsglA&fs=1&wmode=transparent

(* Even leprechauns in space!)

15
Mysterious and exotic animals of the world.

We've all seen the boring, old animal kingdom in the zoo, on television, and on the annual Mittens Big Game Safari hunts. However, there are mysterious, exotic animals as yet unknown to science. Are they dangerous? Intelligent? Delicious? No one knows!

But rumor has it that a strange new critter has been seen lurking around, right here in this very thread!



Here are the rules for your hunt (using rifle, camera, or MS Paint -- your choice)

1. You must stay inside the lines when you color.
2. You can use as many colors as you like.
3. You can resize and rotate as needed.
4. Your entries must be in by August 22nd.

And the winners will receive one of these fine trophies.

(They look very much like the shirts offered by Intense Degree last time, but rest assured mine are of a much higher quality. No cotton-poly blend here, no sir! Hand wash only for my contestants!)  :=

16
I should really be working on the next chapter of The Forever Friday, but I made this instead! :=

"The Mayor's New Dress"
(Inspired by the fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes")

This story, my entry in the July 2012 MAGS event (theme: "Fairy Tale), is done in a "visual novel" approach, follows mayor Marguerite DuChamp as she deals with the fallout of a very sexy scandal that could end in her losing her seat in the mayor's office. If she's going to win over the hearts of the people who could vote to throw her out of power (and into prison), she's really going to have to wow them with a powerfully persuasive oration. But where on earth can she find a dress suitable for such an important speech? If you know the fairy tale, you know what happens next. (Or do you?)

I've never done a visual novel style game before, so this was quite a lot of fun -- and more work than I expected it to be. I hope you like it enough to vote for me.  8-)

In order to keep with the MAGS rule of "all new assets", I drew a ton of new art for this game and made sure to use NO sprites, GUIS, or cursors from any prior Barn Runner games (except for the TackyWorld logo, but that purple planet is my thing, man! You can't ask me to give it up!)

Thanks to Dualnames for the music, Trampoline for translating a bit of Latin, Ben304 for the nice painting he provided, Baron for the theme, and Atelier for keeping MAGS running every month.

DOWNLOAD AND LET THE TAWDRY ADVENTURE BEGIN! (Seriously, shame on you!)


(Note: For anyone who follows the Barn Runner storyline closely, this story takes place a few weeks after Barn Runner 2: The Ejection Rejection)

17
Happy Birthday, Oceanspirit Dennis!
Two Years Old Today!

That's right, on Monday, May 14th, 2010, Snake put together a string of words that became a global (or possibly regional) phenomenon! And to celebrate this momentous event in AGS history, Square-Peniks is bringing you three (at least) slices of birthday cake to snack on, all in one handy bundle.



First up, Ghost serves up a peek into Dennis' childhood:
THE SHINDIG OF DENNIS

Then Ponch kills some time with Ray in The City:
A TASTE OF MAN CAKE

And finally Ben304 takes us to strange new places:
LOL, OCEANSPIRIT DENNIS






Will there be more birthday celebration games to come? Maybe. Icey has promised us some DLC. And since this is Dennis we're talking about, he'll hang around long after we all want him to leave. So this party may go on for days or weeks.

So if you have an OSD game you want to make (or one that you need to finish), here's your moment of glory! Post it in this thread and I'll include it in the first post.

Thanks for two long, strange years, AGS Community!  :=

- Square-Peniks  :-*
(Also, it should be noted that all of these games were made in two days. So they're a little shoddy, but they're made with LOVE  :kiss:)

18

See that cool cat up there? That's Life Partner Ray and he's in the market for a new ride. But what sort of ride would be a good fit for a stylin' and profilin' pimp like Ray? I have no idea! I need you to tell me!

Sprite up a suitable form of transportation for Ray. It can be any color depth, just so long as it's sweet and smooth, baby. And have it in by April 5th.

The three best submissions will win custom funktastic pimp hats for their sig files -- and that's sure to impress all the fine honeys.

So get to it, all you funky cats and kittens. Time is money for a pimp, and Ray's gotta make the scene, dig?  8) Solid.

(And everyone who doesn't enter this sprite jam will forever be known on the street as a jive turkey. And you don't want that, do you? Hell no! So make a sprite already, baby!)


19
Everybody else is doing it, so why the heck shouldn't I? Presenting my game for the AGS Bake Sale:

BARN RUNNER
The Rich Dame Who Cut The Cheese
One of these ladies is hiding something. Time for a pat down!

An antique wheel of priceless, pre-apocalypse, real moo cow cheese has gone missing and it's up to Detective Prick Peckard to find it! Along the way, he'll encounter stuffed shirts, plunging necklines, co-workers in fancy dresses, corrupt politicians, exotic Spanish accents, uncomfortable encounters in the mens's room, abandoned underwear, an AGS forum member masquerading as a lounge singer, gigantic TVs, cartoonishly over-sized breasts, crisp white linen, reflecting mirrors, overpriced cocktails, abundant whipped cream, and looping rooms!

All this and Oceanspirit Dennis too!

Good gravy, people! What on earth are you waiting for! Act now before it's too late!  :o

Get your copy at the AGS Bake Sale (while supplies last) FREE CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!

20

We're hitting the road for this writing challenge. You story must feature some sort of road trip, car chase, roadside diner, or something with a connection to the open road.

But the challenge doesn't end there! This tale must also have a tie in to the world of AGS. It must feature at least two AGS game characters or game creators. Maybe Oceanspirit Dennis and Life Partner Ray hit the road in their magic pimpmobile. Or what if Ben Croshaw and Ben Chandler join forces and use the combined might of their fearsome Ben-ness to terrorize the back roads of Australia? Maybe CJ and Dave Gilbert spend one magical summer traveling across America in search of the perfect onion ring (kosher, of course). Or perhaps the RON gang hit the road to solve mysteries and teach lady truckers how to love.

The possibilities are endless! But the deadline isn't. Have your stories in to the Blue Cup Roadhouse by the close of business January 26th.

Drive safely and I'll see you in two weeks.  8)

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