King Simulator 2013

[Ryan Timothy B]

Alright, the Jester is the first to go. The previous king had him held in the dungeon (which is destroyed and should be a HIGH priority to fix, unless there's a backup). Why was the Jester in the dungeon? Was he too annoying, or did he attempt to overthrow the king and was awaiting punishment before the battle broke to throw the old king.

I do not trust his counsel, it would unwise for us to have him find us a wise trustworthy person to replace him as ADVISER; he may have a hidden agenda or appoint you someone who is easily malleable to his will or some halfwit that won't serve you well. This is what we need to do ASAP!

Also, even if the JESTER is trustworthy, a good Kingdom wouldn't have someone who's so unprofessional and giddy, greeting the guests and acting much above his duties. I still strongly believe he shouldn't be promoted, he should probably be placed back in his cells. He definitely shouldn't be anywhere near the king, and if he's a threat to the kingdom he shouldn't be allowed to flee.






My FIRST command and most IMPORTANT:
> SUMMON Sir Lancelot, then INQUIRE privately to whom is the most knowledgeable, trustworthy, well-known and well-liked person in the Kingdom

• We need someone who is familiar with war and battle strategies. Someone who can counsel you and act as your Hand. We shouldn't be spending our time treating to "guests" seeking our attention unless our Hand feels it's something worthy of our personal attention. He should report to us each day with what he has done, and what has happened.
  I recommend we ask Lancelot, obviously because he's familiar with this kingdom and because he sounds honorable and trustworthy.

Secondly (after hiring this person as your HAND & ADVISER):
> Ask your new ADVISER about the JESTER; also asking WHERE he feels the JESTER is better to serve (or imprisoned in dungeons)


Third, and MOST importantly after finding our HAND & ADVISER:
> Have your HAND notify a powerful and well-liked family within the kingdom, offering an incentive to wed their attractive, maiden and fertile daughter - HAVE BABIES IMMEDIATELY!

• They should be thrilled to have family wed into royalty, so not too big of an incentive - perhaps Lordship and Land to her parents or siblings if her parents are already Lords
  Having children will give you blood ties to other kingdoms or with surrounding Lords within your Kingdom (I wish we knew more about the surrounding kingdom). It prevents wars.

Finally:
> ORDER DUNGEONS to be FIXED!



Next we should locate any of our blood family, assuming they aren't as evil as our twin brother, the former king, and have them Lorded and given land, taking Lordship and Land rights from any opposing Lords in your kingdom. Marry them and/or their children to any Lord families tying everything together.




DO NOT RENAME THE KINGDOM as the Jester suggested. It is bad counsel in my opinion. Peasants are generally satisfied with their king unless he was absolutely terrible and gave them reason to be hated. You're a King ruling over many towns and villages under other Lords who are basically like Kings in their own right, just one step below you (I'm assuming this isn't just a tiny Castle we're a king of with the surrounding land and cities/towns all ruled by other kings). If you rename the kingdom it won't change how peasants do their daily duties, how they feel, etc; it might just anger them, or give them a reason to start getting upset with things that normally wouldn't bother them, but now it does only because they're expecting things to be better.


I'm also not happy with this whole "woke up and forgot everything" scenario. Either it's just a poorly written introduction idea, or it's even beyond what it appears. My immediate reaction was that there was never a war, and you and your king brother had been switched, with the Jester orchestrating everything - but all the guests seem to be saying otherwise and that there really was a war (or none of them are even trustworthy and they're lying about the whole thing as well). Wham, I would like you to address this. Is this just a convenient and poorly written way to have the Jester explain to us, the players, what has ACTUALLY happened, or is it far more than that? Do we remember any of this, or is it completely fake. I do not like it at all.

Edit: Also Wham, I suggest you allow for more actions per turn, ones that you feel mature and appropriate, or at least ones that have been chosen by other players (instead of JUST one each and every time); otherwise this game will stagnate and grow boring; and often or not, only the entertaining commands will be chosen. We might get 3 great commands per turn, but since the 2 didn't get enough up votes, it will likely never be repeated again due to frustration, or players just dropping the game or idea completely (this happened in your other games with me - I like how Stranded was played by VWG having him choose multiple commands per turn.

[miguel]

Ryan, I think Wham has done a great job. It's not easy to encapsulate a fantasy story into a forum game. At first things look strange but as we play it's easy to see why Wham does it this way.
Also, the commands we supply are quoted and supported if they sound interesting to other players, it's not fair to Wham to give him 3,4 commands in a row and it's less likely that other players will support your ideas.

[Ryan Timothy B]

I certainly don't think he should run any commands without at least one vote from other players (or unless WHAM strongly agrees with the command), but seeing a command that received a few votes being dismissed due to another command with only one extra vote is quite disappointing. If two commands were given in a turn, one being to hire a herbalist and the other being to send sellswords to search a newly discovered magical cave, all the attention will be on the magical cave and it's likely we'd NEVER see the herbalist being mentioned again (until we need one, but by then it'll be too late).

I agree he's doing a fine job with this, I only offer the suggestion to help improve and speed things along. A LOT of things can and do happen in a kingdom, and depending on how long and detailed WHAM decides for this to go, if it's going to take us two real-world weeks to do trivial tasks this game will certainly lose steam.

[Baron]

While I agree with Ryan about the kind of sinister "evil clown" vibe that I get from the Jester, I don't think relying on some impeccable "Hand" will be any better.  Focussing a lot of power in any one vizier is always dangerous: my preference as stated earlier would be to have a 10ish person council/cabinet through which we could rule, playing the various ministers against each other if necessary to assure our own pre-eminence.  I think the core of Ryan's issue with the Jester boils down to lack of information: but who can a king trust?  Who will speak truth to power, if not his surly Fool?  Everyone's got an agenda.  What we really need is a spymaster to snoop up on people.  And then a secret spymaster to snoop up on the actual spymaster, to make sure he's doing a good job.  And then a super secret spymaster, just to verify the results of the other two.  And they can't ever find out about each other, so that they can never compare notes.  So really we need a forth person just to conduct surveillance on the three spymasters, to make sure they're not in contact.  And then we'll need someone (Let's call him "M") to administer the whole operation, 'cause it'd be too much of a bother to deal with them each individually (that'd be, like, a whole day of meetings!).  But that creates another buffer between us and our reliable informants, so we'll need at least another loyal set of eyes to spy on "M".  No, actually make that two sets of eyes, so that we can verify their accounts....
    Or...or we could just trust the Jester until we have genuine reason to suspect him.  Then we should have him beheaded.  That's right: I play for keeps.  Nah, just kiddin'.  But I like that trap door idea.  We should definitely instruct all supplicants to stand directly on it while addressing us.
    Another thought: I'm craving steak and my informant from the farmer's guild tells me that beef has to hang for about a month to "cure" before it's really tasty.  Thirty days: that's like two game-years away!  So.... Shouldn't we get cracking on ol' Bessie in the castle garden sooner rather than later?  Just throwin' that out there.
    As for audiences, I understand the Jester's veiled warnings about visitors being peeved about waiting, but we're the bloody king of Grimdark, not a theme-park mascot!  Already we've had folks storm out....

"Oh, there are more people seeking your AUDIENCE, however one audience seeker and his retinue just left the castle grounds for some reason."

...so it's not as if the current system of first-come, first-serve is working seamlessly either.  We need a standing order for the Jester to keep the list up to date at all times.  Yes, it's a bit more tedious administration, but it'll make our lives so much easier in the long run.

>> INSTRUCT JESTER TO KEEP AUDIENCE LIST UP TO DATE AT ALL TIMES, IN ORDER TO INFORM US OF NEW ARRIVALS AND PREMATURE DEPARTURES.

Once that's completed, my inclination would be to try to work through the backlog of people waiting just to establish a baseline for the amount of folks seeking audiences: if we can't keep up then we can start to delegate (although the Jester did say at one point that there'll always be somebody).  I think we should prioritize audiences with people we need more than they need us.  So for example Sir Kevin of Axemont and his band of knights sound like they'd be handy to employ (exploration, counter-balance to Lancelot....) while a pain to piss off (rapine, pillage....).  On the other hand, the merchant from the south has travelled a long way to make a buck and isn't exactly about to storm out at the last minute if he's bumped back a bit in the queue.  Just my thoughts.  I'd even say:

>> ALSO ADMIT SIR KEVIN OF AXEMONT FOR AN AUDIENCE

...if I thought I could get a way with two commands at once, as Ryan suggested.  But that might be asking too much of the WHAM processor....  Ah, what the heck: nothing ventured, nothing gained!  Quote this:

>> INSTRUCT JESTER TO KEEP AUDIENCE LIST UP TO DATE AT ALL TIMES, IN ORDER TO INFORM US OF NEW ARRIVALS AND PREMATURE DEPARTURES.
>> ALSO ADMIT SIR KEVIN OF AXEMONT FOR AN AUDIENCE

[Radiant]

Come on, don't give up on poor Chuckles after the very first day!

In my view, the first thing we need is MONEY and INCOME. Therefore, I would suggest offering an audience to the MERCHANT and ARTISAN.
We just hired a team of knights yesterday, so we don't immediately need SIR KEVIN or ROBINA. I don't think we're in a position now to offer help to a LOST WARRIOR.
It would also be good to hire a wise man for his advice, so let's give an audience to HIRSCHEL.
Finally, I think we need to deal with PIRATES as soon as possible, to see if they will be helpful or hostile.

So my suggestion,
> Tell KEVIN, ROBINA, LOST WARRIOR to come back in three days; then give AUDIENCE to the MERCHANT.

[Ghost]

It's a game. We know WHAM's games, they have rules, we can screw up, but there's no malevolence. Usually. I think for a first day this worked nicely and we have some safe time to greow accustomed to things. And we didn't do anything really silly like setting the peasants on fire. And we have a cow.

Personally, I think the Jester is reliable. My reasoning is that if the EVIL KING held him in a dungeon, he must have been NON-EVIL. That, or the EVIL KING hated jesters. I wouldn't mind a less prancy advisor but for now we have a free source of knowledge. And if this game sticks to history a bit then remember, the jester is the one man in the kingdom who is allowed to say anything, even to the king, and again, locking him up would be an indicator that the EVIL KING didn't play by the rules. Jesters traditionally are untouchable.

In my view, the first thing we need is MONEY and INCOME. Therefore, I would suggest offering an audience to the MERCHANT and ARTISAN.

+1. While chosing the ability to hand-pick our audience may result in people leaving, I prefer it that way, and now that we can call specific subjects, we should get the groundworks done as soon as possible. I's also like to learn about what we actually HAVE for trade. Apparently wood, and cows (one less now). What's more?

[WHAM]

Wow! I think Ryan has the same source of inspiration for his commands as I did when I began to dream up this game, what with the "Hand" and making babies to secure our King's succession.
Then again I had quite a few other inspirations as well, so don't expect this game to be quite as dark in theme as GoT (unless you folks start ordering assassinations, imprisonments, torture and war, of course).

To clarify some things:
- The King rules over a nation of a few thousand people, which consists of the castle, surrounding town and some smaller villages and farmsteads outside of the town walls. There are no minor lords or provinces under the king, instead there are the guildmasters, who are the closest thing to a council you currently have.
- There are other kings, nations, civilizations etc out there, just waiting to be found (and maybe conquered?) again (or they may find you and send envoys, traders or soldiers)
- People seeking audience may leave for various reasons. Example below, though it is a minor spoiler so I've hidden it:

Spoiler

When the Jester earlier told you that an audience left, the reason was that you chose to HIRE Sir Lancelot. The person who left was a well-known brigand and highwayman, who would have offered his and his men's services to you for coin. However, as Sir Lancelot is an honourable and pure knight, the brigands were unwilling to work side-by-side with him, and thus left without having an audience.

[close]

- I run 1 command per turn and only 1 command. It might seem slow, but it allows me to keep the time spent in planning, writing and drawing (copy/pasting) the turns manageable. Then again, if you have an ongoing audience, you may take several actions WITH that audience, such as ask questions (How's the wife?), give orders (Dance for me!), make requests (Would you mind bringing your hot daughter over tomorrow, she's of age, right?) etc, and the audience still only counts as one major action for the day. Only exceptions I can think of on this are givin your advisors or heroes orders to send out expeditions, begin constructions etc (Example: you could SUMMON Lancelot and request him to give you a status report on the realm's defences and troop morale, then order him and his men to wear pink capes to identify them better. This is a single action. Then you could additionally, during the same meeting, order Lancelot to head an expedition somewhere. This would be a second action for a day.)
- As mentioned before, only commands and +1's posted AFTER the latest turn are registered. +1's given to older commands count as new commands instead, and the old +1's don't carry over.

Hope this explains things. If you have more questions about how the game works, feel free to ask and I will try to better explain things (unless it would spoil the game, of course)

[Crimson Wizard]

Personally, I think the Jester is reliable. My reasoning is that if the EVIL KING held him in a dungeon, he must have been NON-EVIL. That, or the EVIL KING hated jesters.

You miss the unfortunate possibility that

Spoiler

Jester is THE evil king in disguise

[close]

(lol)

[Adeel]

I were suspicious of the jester, right from the start...

> GRANT PERMISSION to the TRAVELLING MERCHANT

Spoiler

And hey guys, long time no see!

[close]

[miguel]

GRANT PERMISSION to the TRAVELLING MERCHANT

+1

[Ryan Timothy B]

Jesters traditionally are untouchable.

That's the main reason why I absolutely dislike the idea of him prancing around giving advice and acting as your royal counsel. I would never take a king seriously if their (only) counsel was a fool. Also you saw the way he interrupted Lancelot just to suggest to you that the kingdom should be renamed; a matter such as that should be brought up behind closed doors, not in front of your court or guests.

@WHAM: Without you addressing the woke-up-suddenly-as-king-but-we-don't-remember introduction, I can only assume the worst. No amount of drinking or drugs over a 2 day period could wipe your memory of leading an uprising against your own brother. And I'd prefer not to use a command to ensure it was just an introduction to the game "> Look into your memories to see if what the Jester tells you is true" etc, which is why I'm just asking the dungeon master if it was just a convenient way to have a proper introduction, or if we simply don't have any memory of this (if we don't, then we're best to simply run and run again - we're a fool being played by a fool who suddenly has us believing we're a king. Run and hide and throw down your crown). Or we simply still are the evil king but were given a potion to forget everything and now we're told we're his brother; which means the fool certainly has a reason to aspire against us or even regicide.

In my view, the first thing we need is MONEY and INCOME. Therefore, I would suggest offering an audience to the MERCHANT and ARTISAN.

I will +1 that.

But don't forget, if what we're being told is true, we just took siege against the kingdom and claimed ourselves as the new King. I'm assuming we're the rightful heir when your brother had died (unless his kids were all butchered). There will be people who oppose us or have plans to usurp us from our new-found claim while we still have our pants down adjusting to the new seat of rule. ROBINA THE RANGER and her archers sound like the first crew we should be hiring after looking to secure ourselves a new merchant and artisan. A good set of walls (albeit they're wood and easy to storm and burn) is better held with archers and catapults than they are by foot soldiers with swords - we still need both.

This should be our queue of commands (sneaking a few in when it's needed):
Merchant > Archers > Rebuild stone walls > Find yourself a counsel and Hand > Retire jester > Look to secure your rule with an heir and blood ties > Fix dungeons (where else will we keep our POWs?)

[cat]

> GRANT AUDIENCE to the TRAVELLING MERCHANT and ASK HIM about the south and where he came from.

Lancelot's knights are currently exploring the east, so it would be nice to get to know about the south.

[WHAM]

@Ryan: I like to leave much of the past open to interpertation, so I won't be explaining much of the past out of character (as much of those facts are undecided and unwritten). If you do want concrete facts written into the game's internal history, bring up the specific subject with the jester or one of the guildmasters (or perhaps some other characters in and out of the town), as these were the people who helped you (notice how some guildmasters mentioned having just gained their position thanks to you?). Depending on who you ask may affect how the facts are told, though. Oh, and asking about these things on the side of more pressing matters will not cost you an action in your day, so go wild! Hell, you could ask the Jester for all sorts of things before your first audience of the second day, and they won't cost you an action. I will never penalize you for story-building stuff, as this game, it's world, events and characters are shaped by the players. I'm just a record keeper and, as you say, the 'dungeon master'.

What I can tell you is basically this: The old King ruled for longer than anyone wants to remember and he was a a greedy and evil douchebag, the people agreed on this, and you, the Evil King's seemingly nicer brother, got chosen as the leader of the rebellion in which the old King was de-throned (I'm not saying what happened to him, feel free to find out ). With the help of the people you stormed the palace, tore down the dungeons and released the prisoners within, captured the throne room and then everything is a bit hazy due to all the booze and celebration. Oh, and consider this: a YEAR in this fantasy world has 14 days. Now think of what a 2 day alcohol binge can do to your memory!

[Crimson Wizard]

Oh, and consider this: a YEAR in this fantasy world has 14 days.

The Winter is Coming!

Spoiler

Sorry, could not help myself

[close]

[WHAM]

That actually made me realize I had not planned at all for season changes. But then again, going the Game of Thrones way would make my life a LOT easier. When will the winter come, dear players, no-one knows!
*Starts the RNG*

[Adeel]

> GRANT AUDIENCE to the TRAVELLING MERCHANT and ASK HIM about the south and where he came from.

Lancelot's knights are currently exploring the east, so it would be nice to get to know about the south.

+1 and also:

>ASK what the merchant is SELLING / BUYING

[WHAM]

Having slept peacefully through the night, you find yourself refreshed as you sit upon your simple throne. Beyond the castle windows the town seems to be peaceful but bustling with activity.

"Jester" -you command "Grant the TRAVELLING MERCHANT his due audience."

The TRAVELLING MERCHANT approaches the throne with a pequliar-looking cart in tow.



“Hail, mighty King of Grimdark! I travel from the scorching deserts to the south to bring you an offer of my finest wares and services.”

The MERCHANT lifts the tarp which covers his cart of goods, spreading his arms wide as if trying to enhance the grandeur of the surprisingly small selection. You frown as you try to make a sense of the MERCHANT's wares.

“Of my ever-changing wares, I can offer three things at this time:
- A potion of vision, brewed by the greatest alchemists of the Southern Emirates of Turbanistan, which allows you to see a vision warning you of the nearest danger which opposes you. It is said that this very rare potion has saved the Grand Emir of Turbanistan several times over, and his purchased of the liquid has kept the southern Alchemists well coined for decades. The vial is on offer for a mere 8 gold coins.
- A seed-stock of a hardy desert-grass. The grass is edible by animals and men alike, and keeps hunger well away, although it's taste cannot be described as anything else than unpleasant. However, the grass grows even during the most dire heat waves and droughts. The seeds are yours for a mere 10 gold coins, which, considering the chance of averting famine during times of drought, is a steal!
- A shirt woven of steelspider silk. This light garment is tough enough to blunt any attack considerably, and can save the lives of heroes and Kings alike. It is said that the Grand Emir of the south never sleeps without one. This precious and rare garment can be yours for a mere 4 gold coins. Do keep in mind, though, that it will not stop all attacks and can never quite replace a well-made suit of armour.

Additionally, I am willing to buy any valuable artifacts your craftsmen might have produced, as well as found treasures, herbs and potions of all values. I have travelled between the southlands and the midlands each year for seventeen years now, as my father did before me, and I plan to keep travelling this route for quite a few more, so do keep my offers in mind if you come to possess anything of value.

Take your time, my King, and should you wish to consider for longer, I will be available for SUMMONs until tomorrow night, which is when I will head back South.”

You begin to ponder if you should spend some of the little coin you currently have on these items. While you do, you ask the MERCHANT some questions.

“What can you tell me of the lands to the south?”

“Oh, the southern lands are a harsh place of scorching sun, endless sand and little joy. However, past the sand-pits, deadly snakes and vicious scoprions as well as the wily naga-people who so love to ambush travellers on the few shifting roads, there lies a kingdom of immeasurable wealth and glory. Enchanted sandstone walls adorned with gold and gemstone protect the grand walled nation of the Grand Emir's Turbanistan. The people there are dark of skin and hair, and strong, hardy and wise as anyone can claim. Their lands are known for precious traded goods and especially the creations of the Grand Emir's Guild of Alchemists, who provide the Emir and his armies anything from healing poultices to poisons to coat arrows with to potions such as the one I sell.

To reach the desert sands would take two full days travel and to navigate the shifting sand roads without a good guide could take anything from three to five days, if the traveller can survive the heat and the dangers of the desert.”

[NightHawk]

>Tell Sir Lancelot to add the merchant's trade route to our map.

[Radiant]

> buy DESERT GRASS for SEVEN COINS.

Hey, we're the King, we're in a position to barter We can offer him a long-term contract or an official position as court trader if he's willing to discount us.

[Ghost]

> buy DESERT GRASS

+1. If I read it correctly the wares are "ever-changing, meaning nect time there will be different items for sale. For now a robust means to provide food for subjects and livestock sounds the most attractive.

>  for SEVEN COINS.

Why not just ASK IF MERCHANTS ACCEPTS TO BE PAID IN WARES?
Reason: We are about to open/establish a trade route. Should the first action really be potentially annoying the merchant by haggling? I tend to play it (too) nice maybe, so it's just my 2c.