The AGS chain story, detective theme, finished now for your reading pleasure!

Andail · Mon 25/02/2008 19:21:11

Got it, hehe.
So far there are only a couple of true contradictions, but a large amount of style clashes and minor inconsistencies.
I really really think people need to read through the text carefully before adding their part. However, the biggest problem is that people seem forced to add a brand new plot element or twist just because they can.

This is not related to the fairly small additions we make (200 words), this is due to people not being interested in keeping a calm, steady pace in a linear direction, where sudden plot twists should be kept to a minimum.

Secondly, it seems that these collaborative efforts always (or at least the times we've done it so far) tend to cross the border into the supernatural...what's wrong with classical and mundane? A matter of taste, of course

PS: FSi...there are obvious problems with changing POV when both perspectives are first person

So you get
"I bought an ice cream and ate it."
"I sat in my car and drove off."
...and you're supposed to understand that those two sentences were uttered by different people?

Ah well, I don't think you even contributed with the biggest inconsistency, so don't worry

Spoiler

I'd say the teleportation act between chapter one and chapter two sort of set the standard of contradictions

[close]

Stupot · Mon 25/02/2008 19:25:32

Quote from: Andail on Mon 25/02/2008 19:21:11

This is not related to the fairly small additions we make (200 words), this is due to people not being interested in keeping a calm, steady pace in a linear direction, where sudden plot twists should be kept to a minimum.

Obviously don't watch Prison Break, then.

Emerald · Mon 25/02/2008 19:30:03

Quote from: FSi on Mon 25/02/2008 19:19:30
Or you could've asked me whether it was a change of POV or not (which it VERY obviously WAS). Next time I decide to do a change of POV I'll put a big red banner before it, reading: ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!!! POV CHANGED!!! or something.

Oh come on! There's a very big difference between a big red banner and NO INDICATION WHATSOEVER.

Most people would use italics, or a bunch of line breaks (or wait for a new chapter) or use some sort of literary device, like glancing into a mirror to describe a completely new character... What they don't do is suddenly change character point-of-view about 300 words into the story (and immediately after a previous character is introduced...)

Sorry if that sounds rude. My tone is actually really polite and friendly...

LGM · Mon 25/02/2008 19:37:00

Or you could... Not change POV. That's a very harsh tactic that should be reserved for a much longer work...

Oh well, to each his own. This is still fun.

auriond · Mon 25/02/2008 23:32:19

C'mon people, this is for fun. Relax.

I think the change of view was evident if you read carefully. First read-through was deceiving because both were first person, but on careful reading you can tell it's a different persona speaking. Factual inconsistencies also point to a new character. But again, all this is obvious only after I read it a second time, so I imagine it would have confused others too.

So just take it as something to watch out for next round: if changing character while using the same POV, try to make it more obvious by using a different setting, referring to the first character etc.

About plot twists: I would have thought that plot twists are all part of the whole point. Otherwise the person beginning the story is simply passing on a pre-determined story to different writers. Sure, we will probably end up with more shocking revelations and plot turns than a soap opera - but that's the result of having many different writers. Minor inconsistencies are to be expected too: just look at what happens when different writers take on a long-running storyline like Superman and Batman and so on.

I think that we need to keep in mind that we are writing not just for ourselves, but also for the next writer in line. So it would help to slip in hints and foreshadowing to give the writer some idea about what he can do.

Increasing the word limit might help or harm - I don't know yet. On the one hand, I think it would be fun to write more. On the other hand, wasn't the point of keeping it short a way to prevent the authors from running away with the story?

I think something that might help next time is a standard format. Chapter numbers, line breaks etc. This helps in basic readability; we already have many different writing styles to mess things up as it is, so every little bit helps.

Vince Twelve · Tue 26/02/2008 02:03:28

Yeah, FSi's POV switch was very awkward changing from 1st person to 1st person. I don't think you'll find another book that does this. At least not without it being a major element, like each chapter being from a different point of view. Doing the same scene and writing it from 3rd person ("He pulled the meat truck into his driveway and thought to himself...") would have cleared everything up. As it is written, it is quite confusing, so I can forgive Emerald's misunderstanding in that respect. However...

Quote from: Emerald
It's hard to fully interpret the narrative direction people are taking in just 200 words. I'd be surprised if anyone manages to pick up on all the intentions of the previous posters...

I can't believe that the guy who admitted to me in a PM that he didn't even read all of the 800 words that preceded his bit is suggesting more words. How can you pick up on the intentions of previous writers if you don't even read the thing?!

Quote from: Emerald on Mon 25/02/2008 19:13:27
I vote next time we listen to that ridiculously foresightful stallion Emerald and raise the word count so each writer doesn't have to rely on each other so much to follow their intentions...

The point of the activity is to rely on others. You can't be the totally narcissistic writer that you've already talked about in this thread. You have to follow other's leads and then relinquish control to someone else. If you want to write a story where you're in control, write a story. This is a group activity. More words to write just means more words for other people to take it in directions that don't match the direction that you want to take it in and then you'd still be grumpy. Go with the flow. And make sure to READ THE WHOLE THING before you slap on your bit.

And back on topic, I can't wait to see where this thing ends up! Hurry up people!

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens · Tue 26/02/2008 04:25:14

I am rather curious myself, now.

Emerald · Tue 26/02/2008 12:17:39

Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 02:03:28
I can't believe that the guy who admitted to me in a PM that he didn't even read all of the 800 words that preceded his bit is suggesting more words. How can you pick up on the intentions of previous writers if you don't even read the thing?!

What the bloody hell are you talking about? I read the thing three goddamn times. Why wouldn't I read 800 words? It's kind of important isn't it - I'm writing onto a story without actually reading it? And 800 words isn't exactly much. I could quote you the entire thing, about a week after reading it. I don't believe you - talk about misinterpreting what people say!

Quote
The point of the activity is to rely on others. You can't be the totally narcissistic writer that you've already talked about in this thread. You have to follow other's leads and then relinquish control to someone else.

Seriously, what the hell? I haven't a clue where you're coming up with this crap. You automatically assume that because I'm not you, I'm some kind of intellectually inferior, borderline mentally handicapped dick-waggler? I join a chain story, and then write on to it without reading anything anyone has written? Why the hell would I bother? You think I need you to explain to me the concept of teamwork?

I think you need someone to explain the concept of getting off your high horse. You see, when you're on a high horse, it's easy to look down and assume that people are stupider than you, because, well, you're so high up you can't really hear what they're saying. But the truth is, unless you actually listen to anyone but yourself, you can't really be the great judge of character you seem to think you are.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do love being judged by people, but it just sticks in my craw when the judge in question has his head lodged so far up his own arse he can't hear anything but his own gurgling bowels (and I know I switched hearing-metaphors half-way through and I apologise for that...)

Rant end.

Seriously though, it's just a bit of fun. Lighten up.
Why does it feel like the real detective story is in figuring out whose fault it was why the fictional one has succumbed to the laws of memetics...

[Cameron] · Tue 26/02/2008 12:24:06

If anyone is on their high horse Emerald it's you. I was next in line for the story after Vince and it was your part that kinda got everything snaggled, when I read through FSi's part the shift in POV was a bit rough, but I got that it was someone else, and when you started it did feel like you hadn't read the previous part closely, or even with mild interest.

Andail · Tue 26/02/2008 12:29:34

Babar, can you confirm that you've recieved it? Or the person after...just so we know where it is now.

Oh, and let's stop blaming each other. At least we've learnt a few things for next round

Emerald · Tue 26/02/2008 12:33:14

Maybe so, and I'll readily admit that I didn't grasp what FSi intended. And I don't blame him for that. I never blamed anyone for anything.

I screwed up. I'll admit that. I have enough self-esteem not to let that bother me.

What I don't like is when people start lecturing me. This is the 'AGS chain story' thread. I assumed it was about writing a story. Nobody told me that I'd spend 10 minutes writing, and 10 days listening about how I eat babies because I misunderstood something which could easily be misunderstood. That's not what I signed up for.

Vince Twelve · Tue 26/02/2008 12:42:05

Quote from: Emerald on Tue 26/02/2008 12:17:39
What the bloody hell are you talking about?

I was talking about this PM. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting what you said. Direct quote from you:

(Edited out story spoilers! Thanks Babar and Andail!)

Quote
Quote
The point of the activity is to rely on others. You can't be the totally narcissistic writer that you've already talked about in this thread. You have to follow other's leads and then relinquish control to someone else.

Seriously, what the hell? I haven't a clue where you're coming up with this crap. You automatically assume that because I'm not you, I'm some kind of intellectually inferior, borderline mentally handicapped dick-waggler?

Whoa there nelly. ("Stallion," "high-horse," "nelly," get it?

) Sorry you took that so seriously. It wasn't just written to you. The "you" was kind of the royal "you" but my comment was brought on from your post. I wasn't calling you narcissistic, I was suggesting that we need to avoid the narcissism that you were discussing with others earlier in the thread since this is an activity where we have to work together. That's what makes it a useful and fun excercise.

Sorry if I ruffled your feathers. I guess I forgot that you're not one of the rough-and-tumble bunch I'm used to.

Apologies to all. Last post until the story is released! Looking forward to it.

Edit: I just had a thought. Who's going to make the adventure game version of this story? It's sure to be a front runner for the P3N1S award.

_{Edit by Andail: Removed story spoilers. Although hidden, we're not supposed to disclose story elements.}

ThreeOhFour · Tue 26/02/2008 12:52:10

Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 12:42:05I guess I forgot that you're not one of the rough-and-tumble bunch I'm used to.

I laughed

.

I am really interested to see how this project turns out guys. Sounds like it will make for interesting reading.

Babar · Tue 26/02/2008 12:53:40

I've got it now. I'm working on it, with a huge brainstorm list to make sense of the characters, and attempt to line up some blatant contradictions. People might not like the solution I have in mind, but...too bad

Also, while I guess it isn't really that much of a big deal, you probably should put that bit in spoiler tags, Vince.

Emerald · Tue 26/02/2008 13:05:55

Psh, 'royal you' my ass...

Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 12:42:05
I was talking about this PM. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting what you said. Direct quote from you:

Spoiler
Quote from: Emerald
[close]

Aha! You did misinterpret. I was saying that I forgot a small part of the previous paragraph. That doesn't mean I didn't read it, and it doesn't mean I walked in and went "Durrr, I rite storee!1!" without reading the whole 800 words...

Quote
Whoa there nelly. ("Stallion," "high-horse," "nelly," get it? ) Sorry you took that so seriously. It wasn't just written to you. The "you" was kind of the royal "you" but my comment was brought on from your post. I wasn't calling you narcissistic
Sorry if I ruffled your feathers. I guess I forgot that you're not one of the rough-and-tumble bunch I'm used to.

My feathers are very much un-ruffled... I just felt like unleashing a foamy rant. Mandarb made it look like so much fun in the other thread...

_{Edit by Andail: Removed story spoilers. Although hidden, we're not supposed to disclose story elements.}

[Cameron] · Tue 26/02/2008 13:17:06

Not remembering it doesn't make it any better or nullify his point. And did you not read back and make sure your section flowed?

Emerald · Tue 26/02/2008 13:23:14

Quote from: [Cameron] on Tue 26/02/2008 13:17:06
Not remembering it doesn't make it any better or nullify his point. And did you not read back and make sure your section flowed?

At that point, 'flowing' didn't seem like much of an option.

_{Edit by Andail: Removed story spoilers. Even hidden, we're not supposed to disclose story elements.}

auriond · Tue 26/02/2008 13:28:30

Guys.

Quit, already! You're starting to sound like bickering sparrows.

Emerald knows he made a mistake, and the rest of us probably did our part too. Tea-party and all. So let's all be quiet until Babar posts the finish product, and THEN you can resume the wrangling.

Andail · Tue 26/02/2008 13:33:44

Hehe, the chain posting here is almost as entertaining as the story itself

Stupot · Tue 26/02/2008 13:38:10

Quote from: auriond on Tue 26/02/2008 13:28:30
So let's all be quiet until Babar posts the finish product, and THEN you can resume the wrangling.

We're only halfway through the list aren't we?
I'm interested to see what the current status is, though. I'm quite looking forward to it to be honest... Then maybe someone could have a go at rewriting the entire thing. Despite the problems it does have the basis of quite a ripping-yarn.