Topic: The Puzzle Time!!! July 7th to July 14th!

[Etcher Squared Games]

The Rules:
Every week a post will be made with a list of items and a scenario. Using your wit, skill and otherwise useless abilities; find a way to complete the scenario with the items provided. You can only use a set number of items of your own choice. When I say use your skill, use it.

For example: you have a boulder and a reinforced window. I advise not using Pick Up boulder, chuck through window. Think of something adventuresque to use.

Voting: After the week voting shall start.

What If I win?: you choose the next scenario and list of items. Then you post it for all the world to see.

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Ok, this is my first crack at this.
I've mentioned AGS several times to my girlfriend and she was joking one day "Are you going to make Connie's quest"?

Connie is her cat.Ã,  So, we came up with the idea of "Connie's Quest: The search for ice cream".

Ok, so Connie the cat knows there is ice cream in the freezer of the refrigerator.Ã,  But, no matter how much she begs, Jessi (her owner) will not give her any.Ã,  It is your job to figure out how to get ice cream.Ã,  There are of course some quirks to this situation.

1. Connie is unable to, by herself, get the freezer door open. (The fridge may be either side-by-side design or the top-and-bottom variety.)
2. Connie is a bit overweight and cannot jump from the floor to the counter in a single bound.
3. There are 3 other cats to deal with:
Ã,  Ã, 3a: Tigger:Ã,  Connie's brother.Ã,  These two live together in tolerance.
Ã,  Ã, 3b: Spot:Ã,  Connie's one-eyed stepbrother.Ã,  They do DO NOT get along.Ã,  His depth perception is very poor.
Ã,  Ã, 3c: Oreo: Connie's timid two-eyed stepbrother.Ã,  He is secretly in love with Connie.Ã,  He licks her forehead all the time.
4. Connie's master, Jessi, is prone to a bit of narcolepsy.Ã,  (She can fall asleep at any time.)
5. Connie's other master, Bryan, is always on the computer, upstairs, if not busy with something else urgent.
6. Connie and Tigger are declawed, thus preventing them from opening the ice cream.Ã,  Spot and Oreo still have their claws.
7. Regardless of what he is doing, Spot will always drop everything in order to chase after any thing that moves fast and has a jingle sound.
8. Oreo LOVES catnip.

OK, so keeping these items in mind, how does Connie get a taste of sweet ice cream?
You may otherwise assume the house contains normal everyday items + cat toys.
The house has two stories.

Good luck.

[Eggie]

*Jessi puts some Ice Cream in the feezer and notices Connie*
JESSI: Ooooh no! No way! Ice Cream is only for us people!
CONNIE: Meow!
JESSI: There's no use arguing, you're not getting any! And I'm going to make sure you don't get any by standing guard here! And

neither rain, nor now, nor sleet, nor my severve narcolepsy will stop me- Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
CONNIE: What a stroke of luck!

WALK TO FREEZER
SPOT: Hold it right there, sausage-legs! Jessi may be out of commision but I'm sure as hell not, and believe me; I would rather die

than see you pull one over on our masters!

OPTION 1 -
CONNIE: That can be arranged! Lemee have my damn ice cream!
SPOT: Think of it as doing you a favour. By the looks of you, you've had enough, tubby!
CONNIE: I'm not a tabby...
SPOT: I said tubby!
CONNIE: Tabby?
SPOT: TUBBY! ARE YOUR EARS CLOGGED UP WITH FAT AS WELL AS YOUR ARTERIES? ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?
CONNIE: No. But you're blind!
SPOT: Bullshit! I can see as well as the day I was born!
CONNIE: We're born blind. I could probably walk right past you.
SPOT: I don't think so...Even if I was blind, which I'm not. I'd still know when you were coming because the ground starts shaking!!
TURN OFF OPTION 1
TURN ON OPTION 2

OPTION 2 -
CONNIE: I can lose weight anytime I like, but you'll always be blind!
SPOT: You know what, I'm starting to wish I was blind because thenm I wouldn't have to look at you, you bloated sack of cholestrorol!

CONNIE: Hey, spot! How many fingers am I holding up?
SPOT: Four!
CONNIE: Ha! I don't friggin have fingers. You're blind as a bat!
SPOT: Well you're fucking fat!
CONNIE: Well you peed on that mat!
SPOT: How on earth do you know that?!!
OPTION 2 OFF

OPTION 3 -
CONNIE: C'mon, Spot! I just want a little of taste of that sweet, sweet sugary goodness.
SPOT: I beg your pardon.
CONNIE: Just a little lick of that creamy, creamy slice of smooooothness. Mmmmnnn
SPOT: Connie, it doesn't matter how much you try and make me throw up. You're not getting past!
OPTION 3 OFF

OPTION 4 -
CONNIE: Don't make me use force, Spot!
SPOT: You're joking, right. You're flabby, you're weak, you're de-clawed and I actually don't think you're capable of lifting up one

of your paws further than about 30 degrees.
CONNIE: That's ridic-Hey...You're right...
SPOT: And don't even think about getting your retarded stoner boyfriend to help you out either. I've taken care of him!
CONNIE: What did you do to Keanu Reeves?!!
SPOT: I'M TALKING ABOUT OREO YOU DISGUSTING MOUNTAIN OF BODILY FAT!
CONNIE: Oh...
OPTION 4 OFF

OPTION 5 -
CONNIE: Don't make me use cunning, Spot!
SPOT: Oh, this will be good...
CONNIE: Yeah, good for me. Because I happen to know your secret supervillain weakness!
SPOT: Oh yes?
CONNIE: Yes! You...YOU have a hopeless compulsion...To CHASE THINGS WITH JINGLING BELLS!
*Connie starts running around in circles*
CONNIE: Yah-ha! Go on! Go on, chase me! Chase me! Chase...me...Chase...Me...Chase...
*Connie collaspses on the floor, exhausted*
SPOT: Wow. A whole three seconds of slow jogging. Surely that's a personal record.
CONNIE: I think I'm dying...
SPOT: If only...
OPTION 5 OFF
OPTION 6 ON

OPTION 6 -
CONNIE: You...YOU!!!
SPOT: Oh COME ON, Connie. Like your diets, That plan was obviously doomed to fail from the start. You're too damn fat to run

anywhere at any speed.
CONNIE: YOOUU!!!
SPOT: Plus, your jingle was pathetic.
OPTION 6 OFF

OPTION 7 -
CONNIE: Well, I'll be seeing you. Too bad you can't say the same.
SPOT: Trust me it isn't.
END CONVO

LOOK AT FREEZER
CONNIE: So close...
SPOT: Yet so far away...

USE FREEZER
SPOT: Don't even think about it. Wait, actually, DO think about it. I want to see your pain!

LOOK AT SPOT
CONNIE: My stepbrother and mortal enemy; Spot. This one-eyed son of a bitch is MEAN! And you can take that Son of a Bitch

stement pretty literally. He's part Chiwawa
SPOT: You fat, bloated EEDIOT!

LOOK AT JESSI
CONNIE: Sleeping like a baby...
CONNIE: A...standing up baby...

LOOK AT PLASTIC BAG
CONNIE: It's blue!
SPOT: There's probably chocolate inside.
CONNIE: Not falling for that one again!

GET PLASTIC BAG
CONNIE: Okay.

LOOK AT SPATULA
CONNIE: What's this doing on the floor?

TAKE SPATULA
CONNIE: You never know when you'll need a spatula!

GO TO LIVING ROOM
CONNIE: Holy Opium Den, Batman!!
OREO: Arrrrrggghhh! Who dares enter the sacred shrine of the goblins?! The walls are made of SPIDERS!!

LOOK AT OREO
CONNIE: He is OUT OF IT!

TALK TO OREO
CONNIE: Oreo! It's me, Connie!
OREO: Silence, monkey-filth! I will eat your five babies in a pot!


AGAIN
CONNIE: Oreo, that's the catnip talking! Snap out of it, I need your help!!
OREO: I only speak to the goblin king himself...You are a mere golden poo! BWAHAHAHA!!

AGAIN
CONNIE: And what does this 'Goblin King' look like?
OREO: He is Blue! with a hat of pure happy! HAPPY HAPPY DAISIES!

AGAIN
CONNIE: I'm not going to get any sense out of him.

LOOK AT CATNIP
CONNIE: Good shit...

USE CATNIP
CONNIE: I don't need any more in the way of the munchies at the moment.

LOOK AT COLLAR
CONNIE: My collar with a bell on it.

USE COLLAR ON OREO
CONNIE: I've tied the bell to his tail. He didn't even notice.

GO UPSTAIRS
BRYAN: What the fuck is an illegal exception?!!

LOOK AY BRYAN
CONNIE: Busy with his game designing.

TALK TO BRYAN
CONNIE: Better not disturb him.

LOOK TORCH
CONNIE: A fairly powerful torch.

GET TORCH
CONNIE: It's up there on the desk.

LOOK DESK
CONNIE: A slightly wobbly desk.

LOOK AT BEDSHEETS
CONNIE: Smily faces...not very tasteful.

GET BEDSHEETS
CONNIE: Bryan would notice. Besides, my brother's all over them...

LOOK TIGGER
CONNIE: He's just lounging around on the bed

TALK TO TIGGER
CONNIE: Hey Tigger.
TIGGER: Hey Connie.
CONNIE: You know how you're the best brother ever and you're so strong and athletic and the best in the world!
TIGGER: *sigh* What do you want.
CONNIE: Nothing yet, but I might need your muscle to help me access a certain tub of yummy...
TIGGER: The deal's the same as always. Get me something awesome to play with. I'll get your ice cream off the top shelf of the

freezer.

HIT DESK
*Connie headbutts desk, it shakes, then the torch falls on her head*
BRYAN: Fucking cats!! I'll kill them if my hand is ever not on a keyboard!
CONNIE: Ow...I'm an idiot.
TIGGER: I'm saying nothing...

GET TORCH
CONNIE: Gottit!

LOOK PLUG
CONNIE: Looks fun

GET/USE PLUG
*Connie pulls lug out of socket. Bryan's computer turns off.*
BRYAN: Argh! Bad...No! Computer...no...good! Didn't save...NOOOOOOOOO!
*Bryan collapses*
TIGGER: Is he dead?

GET PLUG
CONNIE: Gottit

GIVE PLUG TO TIGGER
TIGGER: Hmmn, looks sturdy. I'm there for you sis!
CONNIE: Great! Now you can have it after I've got my ice cream!

GET BEDSHEETS
TIGGER: Hey...I'm kinda using those...
CONNIE: Sorry, brother of mine. This will aid me in my quest for creamy, icey deliciousness!
TIGGER: Right...
CONNIE: You couldn't claw this up while you're here could you?
TIGGER: Sister, you know as well as I do that I'm declawed. You'll have to get Oreo or Spot to do it.
CONNIE: Oreo's too stoned and Spot's only interesting in clawing me.
TIGGER: You'll think of something. You're smart, you know.
CONNIE: Aw...Thanks.
TIGGER: You're also fat.
CONNIE: Thanks...

GO TO KITCHEN

USE BEDSHEETS ON SPOT
SPOT: Connie! Is that you!!
*Spot tears the bedsheets to shreds!*
SPOT: Stop smiling, bitch!!
CONNIE: I'm over here, Stevie! And you've just done a job for me!

LOOK AT BEDSHEET SCRAP
CONNIE: Wow...By some bizzare turn of fate. It turned out hat-shaped. Who'd have thunk?

GET BEDSHEET SCRAP
CONNIE: Got it!

USE PLASTIC BAG ON TORCH
CONNIE: I've put the blue bag over the bit which lights up.

GO TO LIVINGROOM

USE BEDSHEET HAT ON CONNIE
CONNIE: Well I do feel silly...

USE TORCH ON CONNIE
CONNIE: Hey, Oreo!
OREO: Who is it?
*Connie turns on torch and shines it on herself.*
CONNIE: It is I! The Goblin king!!
OREO: GAASSSPP!!!

OPTION 1 -
CONNIE: Now, faithful minion! I command you go beat up Spot!
*Both go to Kitchen*
OREO: By order of the Goblin King! I have been sent to mess you up good, motherfucker! I will pound you until you are-
*Spot whaps him in the face*
SPOT: Nice try, Connie.

*BACK IN LING ROOM*

OREO: I have failed you, Goblin King! I HAS FAILED YOU BAAD!!
CONNIE: Don't worry, Oreo. It's not over yet.
OREO: Goblin King. Can I ask your advice on something?
CONNIE: Yeah?
OREO: Well...there's this girl called Connie. And...I really like her. But i don't know I can get her to like me back. What can I

do?
CONNIE: Give her Ice Cream.
OREO: Wow...that's it?
CONNIE: Yup. Ice Cream. Every day. Forever!
OREO: Are you sure? Y'see...she's already kind of fat...
CONNIE: Enough chit-chat! back to work!!

OPTION 2 -
CONNIE: Go run through the kitchen like an idiot!
OREO: Awesome!!

*KITCHEN*
OREO: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
SPOT: Wow! Jingling...running...thing! I...must protect fridge. But...jingle...so alluring, so... SCREW IT!
*Spot chases after Oreo*
CONNIE: Who's bad!!

*FADE OUT, FADE BACK IN; TIGGER'S THERE*
TIGGER: So...How do you intend to open that thing.
CONNIE: I'll come up with something. You said so yourself; I'm clever.

USE PLUG ON FREEZER
*Connie lassos the handle of the door*
CONNIE: Tigger! Give me a hand with this!
TIGGER: It's not budging!
CONNIE: I know! I'll just put my weight on it!
*The freezer door flies off*
CONNIE: Even the damn Freezer's insulting me today...Well, there it is, Tigger. Go get it.
TIGGER: Then I'll get my plug?
CONNIE: Sure sure, just get it!!
*Tigger climbs up and throws the ice cream tub down, then he falls off*
CONNIE: Oh my God! Tigger! I tyhink he's out cold...I need to get help! I will...Just...just one scoop!



LOOK AT ICE CREAM TUB
CONNIE: Mine...ALL MINE!

USE ICE CREAM TUB
CONNIE: Curse these stubby little appendages! I can't open it!

USE SPATULA ON ICE CREAM TUB
CONNIE: Success! Oh, come to mama!!
*Connie climbs inside ice cream tub, Oreo runs in*
OREO: By my Trough! It be the sacred weasel box! I must secure it so none of the banshee's spy the contents!!
*Oreo puts the lid on the box then runs off, pursued by Spot. Spot brushes past Jessi's leg; waking her*
JESSI: What the...What happened here? Why is this ice cream out of the freezer?
*She picks up the tub and puts it in the freezer*
JESSI: Why doesn't the freezer have a door? What's Tigger doing bleeding on the floor? Why was that ice cream so heavy? This is

all so confusing...I'm going to have sleepness nights over this for the rest of my- Zzzzzz....
CONNIE: Hey! Hey guys! Tigger! Oreo?....*sigh* Spot?!

*INSIDE ICE CREAM TUB*
CONNIE: Anyone...Oh, crap. Well...at least my death will be yummy...I guess it just goes to show, kids...Everyone has their vices,

and if you don't take control they'll inevitably cause your downfall...
GOBLIN KING: You said a moutful!

THE END

[SSH]

*spontaneous applause*

[Eggie]

Yes! Applaud my wasted life!

[Etcher Squared Games]

Just to interject (sp?) a little bit of extra humor into this, everything about my puzzle is TRUE!
Except for Jessi being a "narc" (as I call it).
She simply falls asleep fast, but I thought I'd add one twist to the story.
Anyway, below are our 4 kitties.

Connie



Tigger



Spot



Oreo

[JD]

Awesome Eggie! That was great And seeing the pics of the real cats just make it even better!

[Etcher Squared Games]

Any more takers for this unusual puzzle?

[Mephistophilis]

Quite Frankly, Why Bother? Hard pushed to beat that. Unless it had Ninja Lemurs in it. One day those Lemurs will help me win this competition. One day.

[Eggie]

Bwahaha! Once again an imitimidatingly long entry by me has destroyed the communities friendly competitive spirit!

[Etcher Squared Games]

I'm just gunna go ahead and declare Eggie the winner

[Eggie]

Hooray?
*sigh*...Winning by default is un-fun...