Character portrait - Meet Ivory!

[Nightfable]

I ask you this. Can you see yourself being this character in an adventure game?



I keep changing my mind and am not satisfied with my story development. So... I think I'm going to go with something I've had in mind for a long time and make the prologue as a short game. Maybe if people like it, I can continue chapter by chapter.

Meet Ivory (Ivy for short). She's a loner who dosen't have any friends and who gets bullied by the preppies. What the preppies don't know, is that she is seeking revenge! Ivy is at the end of her rope and is putting all her hopes on a curse she means to cast on them.

In the first few rooms, you will need to gather a list of items like a candle, pentagram necklace, personal item of victim, knife, etc... The preppies are throwing a party that night and you need to find a way there and infiltrate the house to somehow cast the spell.

But when you do... something horrible is unleashed and the only way to save human kind is by going on a quest inside a realm you have never dreamed existed.

What do you guys think? Is it too cliche? Does it catch your interest?

[MilkAndCheese]

I like the character and all but the story is just getting a bit old (no offense). Instead of having magic and what not why not make it she plans to pull some kind of prank on them, but the prank goes horribly wrong and they all, or a few of the preppies end up dieing.

But maybe it's just me that thinks that the magic story lines are used too often.

Other than that, everything else seems good.

[auriond]

I think the storyline is awsome. I'd love to play a game like that!

However, Ivy doesn't look like someone who would immediately gain the player's sympathy. I don't know if you intended this - I actually designed my own protagonist to be dislikable, too. But since you intend for her to go on and save humankind, maybe some of that potential might show in her character design: a more determined spirit, or a less angry expression? Right now she looks only like the first half of her characterisation: angry, downtrodden, a little lethargic, a little evil.

[Nightfable]

MilkAndCheese: Aw, but that's what makes it so much more attracting to me. I love the Harry Potter books and I know what you mean about magic being overused... but isn't it popular because a lot of people like those kind of stories in first place? I'm a girl, I need magic, hot guys, romance and drama! That's what I live on, lol!

Auriond: Thanks! I personally love anti-heroes and I thought creating a character like this and making her grow and change throughout the story. Every word you wrote about her characterization describes her perfectly. She's a teen without any friends, who gets beaten up and who lives in a small trailer house with her mono-parental mom (I know, that too is overused).

The preppy is actually the one who turns evil and Ivory has to go after her and stop her.

[space boy]

What do you guys think? Is it too cliche? Does it catch your interest?

Most importantly, does it catch yours?

The story is very cliche but personally I like it. Note that cliche doesn't mean it's bad. A story doesn't have to be totally new and original to be interesting. If you enjoy the idea yourself then you're going in the right direction. Then it's just a matter of how you present it.

A little suggestion: you could throw in some references to games, books or movies with a similar plot or theme and subtly make fun of them. That would add a nice, selfironic touch. I'd really love to see a game that has a rather dark theme but doesnt take itself too seriously all the time(be careful not to ruin the mood though).

To sum it up: the idea has been done to death, but that doesnt mean you should avoid it. Use cliches to your advantage, and create something new out of something old.

Also, just in case you missed it, I'd like to recommend you the links in this topic:
http://www.adventuregamestudio.co.uk/yabb/index.php?topic=32579.0

[MilkAndCheese]

MilkAndCheese: Aw, but that's what makes it so much more attracting to me. I love the Harry Potter books and I know what you mean about magic being overused... but isn't it popular because a lot of people like those kind of stories in first place? I'm a girl, I need magic, hot guys, romance and drama! That's what I live on, lol!

Don't get me wrong I love Harry Potter too (although I'm not too keen on the hot guys) it's just that it seems that every second game has magic in it.

Maybe It's because I played the John DeFoe series all day yesterday. Probably.

[Nightfable]

Most importantly, does it catch yours?

Yes it does, but for how long though?

I tend to get discouraged really quickly with my projects and I want to make sure I have the right story to work on so that I keep my motivation going. I guess you could say that I lack quite a bit of self-confidence when it comes to drawing. That bloody pixel art drives me nuts. If I don't get a background right, down the recycle bin it goes with the rest of them.

Anyway, I've sketched a couple of my backgrounds for this one and I'll show you guys next time I post. 

[Ghost]

An interesting story, and a chracter that has good depth. I like it, if only because, well, there's that misfit tag all over her. Games that have you playing some less-than-perfect hero character are always of some attraction, at least to me.

Does that mean you're cancelling your other shortie, though?

[auriond]

Thanks! I personally love anti-heroes and I thought creating a character like this and making her grow and change throughout the story.

That's exactly how I view my protagonist too! But visually, I designed him to be a blank slate - a nondescript kind of look, to suggest that he has the potential to turn into someone the player can at least sympathise with - or he could be a total jackass. That way, to my thinking, the player wouldn't judge him from the beginning based on his looks (since in the beginning, the player only has his looks to rely on).

I thought that maybe in Ivy's case, you don't have to do the same - Ivy looks like she has her own character already - but I think her design can have some suggestion of the potential she has to do good. That way, the player has an idea of what she's capable of just by looking at her. Right now, I would characterise her as an Emily Enough kind of evil girl, with not much hint that she's end up saving the world.

Just a suggestion though - if you're happy with her the way she is, go right ahead! I was just responding to your first question - "Can you see yourself being this character in an adventure game?" - and my answer is yes, but it wouldn't catch my interest much since I have no hint at first that she's capable of good, and therefore I might get bored with it pretty quick (I like my protagonists nice and heroic  )

[Nightfable]

You know, you have some really good points! I'll see what I can do. 

[Nightfable]

I made a few changes so that she looks less angry and more impassive with perhaps a subtle hint a hidden, softer personality.

What do you think?

Does that mean you're cancelling your other shortie, though?

Yes, I think I'll have to - I couldn't really make it work and I was stuck with the storyline. It's not in the bin quite yet though... I'm still in brain-storm mode, sketching and wracking my brain like a mad woman, lol!

At least, I don't think you guys mind too much. Let me know if I annoy you and I promise I'll keep my brainstorming thoughts to myself.

[auriond]

That's perfect! Yes, now I'm SUPER excited about this game.  I hope you'll be able to finish it!

[Oddysseus]

Gotta agree.  The style is superb, and the story sounds interesting.

Just think small and make yourself a little map of all the rooms you'll need for your prologue story. The work seems much less overwhelming when you know exactly what you need to get done.  Plus any rooms that seem unnecessary (or too hard to draw) just throw 'em out.

At least, that's worked for me so far (10 rooms drawn! Woohoo!)

[Candall]

What do you think of the idea of using both?  She could start out as the dark misfit and slowly fade to the other one right when she decides to take it upon herself to save the world.  If you made several crossfades of the two versions at different strengths you could make it a subtle, gradual process.

[auriond]

Just something that struck me - I have this idea that portrait #1 looks more like an Ivy, and portrait #2 looks more like an Ivory.

You can make this dual nature a theme of the game. Candall's idea is an interesting synthesis. Just a thought!

[Nightfable]

What do you think of the idea of using both?

That's a really good idea, I'll definitely look into that!

Just something that struck me - I have this idea that portrait #1 looks more like an Ivy, and portrait #2 looks more like an Ivory.

Haha, so true!

Just think small and make yourself a little map of all the rooms you'll need for your prologue story. The work seems much less overwhelming when you know exactly what you need to get done.

Sorry Oddy, I somehow missed your post. Thanks, I'll keep it as short as I can & I'll post a few backgrounds up for you guys to c&c - I'm trying my hand at pixel art and it's hard as hell.

[not with a bang.]

Have you considered eschewing pixel art?  It's clear from the concept drawing of Ivory (and art you've posted elsewhere in the forum) that your line-drawing skills are quite strong, and you might be able to parlay that into a faster development time from your concepts.

[Nightfable]

Here are some really rough sketches of some backgrounds, feel free to comment on them (the perspective is really off, I know).


This is Ivory's trailer house bedroom. I wasn't to sure exactly how to go at it, I wanted to show her rebel side with music posters plastered everywhere on the walls but also her witchcraft side with candles and pentagrams. She dwells in black magic but is still but a beginner at it. There's a big pentagram/protection circle hidden underneath her rug where she usually performs her rituals/spells. I think I might add the silhouettes of candles in the foreground.


Here is the entrance of the trailer house, my husband tells me it should be a lot more narrow. The mom is passed out on the couch and I was trying to make the place look messy and cluttery with dirty dishes, garbage and clothes lying all over the place. Should I make it a bungalow house instead of a trailer house? I want enough room for my sprite to move around.


This background is obviously a high school hallway with lockers. There will be three girls blocking the exit, one of them is the one who bullies you and gave you that black eye. You will have to find a way past them and that is where you learn about a birthday bash thrown for your nemesis in her huge house.

At this point, I am still uncertain on how to proceed with the puzzles and objects, there will be another 2 or 3 so rooms before my prologue/short game ends.

I've drawn a few of some items that could take place inside the game, I will scan them in a minute.

Have you considered eschewing pixel art?

I would love to incorporate both some eschewing and pixel art for my backgrounds, I'm still a bit unsure how to go at it yet.

[Candall]

By "eschewing," he meant that you should not necessarily use pixel art since you're so good at capturing character with your pencil work.

In a game with pencil-drawn backgrounds especially, you don't really have to nail the perspective.  In fact, a bit of wonky perspective can go a long way toward giving your backgrounds a lot of character.  That being said, it really gets to the point of being problematic in the high school background.

I'd say that perspective is also a problem with the bed in her room, but it actually makes it look as if the frame supports for the foot of the bed are missing, which kinda works with the theme of the rest of the place.

The trailer is definitely not too narrow.  I'm from Georgia... I've found myself in more than one.  Quarters are tight in standard trailers, but if you just call it a double-wide, you'll be golden.

All I have to say in conclusion is this:  Do yourself a huge favor and draw all of your rooms from at least roughly the same elevation.  Sprites drawn to look good in one background will look strange when they're in one set at a different height.

[Oliwerko]

Yeah, there are some perspective problems, but that can be solved easily, I think.

I like the character, I can imagine her in a game, like, you know, saying 5 words in the whole game. I dont know, but when I see her, I can imagine her like a person that only says a word when it is necesarry, and uses "dry english humour". That is my feeling about her...