College Work

[i k a r i]

Hello everyone, I need some advice.... again 

Is for a work Im doing for college, Im studying Graphic Design just for hobbie, I had to represent Stalin by using typography, my theme is agressive (kind of lame, but I choose it), what should I change, does it look agressive to you?, I tried to achieve that by using pointy elements forming the letters, a rusty texture (that I did myself), and some damage..but I feel it may not represent my concept very well...

So here it is..



Help..I'll show it to my teachers this Thursday..

[auriond]

At first I couldn't figure it out - it looked like a jigsaw puzzle - but then I looked at the while thing and the word Stalin just sort of jumped out at me. Yes, I think it looks aggressive, but in a rock band kind of way (the "S" reminds me of Slayer...) not sure if that's what you want to achieve.

[i k a r i]

Well is not exactly what I wanted to achieve, but if it still looks aggressive to you, then its ok 
Im still thinking how to improve it, I have many different versions, but I think this one is the best, the thing is I have to present another work tomorrow so Im very stressed, and the one for this thursday doesnt end there..  :'(

[Ali]

Your lettering looks strongly expressionistic, and rather like the lettering for the 'Metropolis' poster. What it captures is something of how people feel about Stalin mainly fearful.

Stalin was the man of steel. He chose that name. Steel is strong, industrial, unyielding, defiant. What your image lacks is a sense of how Stalin felt about himself.

I think the rust could work well, but against the white backdrop it looks like it could be paper. I think you need a different backdrop, and perhaps a wider frame, to pull the shards together.

[EagerMind]

I agree with Ali. It's a good start, but it looks a little unfinished.

The Stalin is extremely hard to read. I saw your picture before reading your post, and I couldn't figure it out until I started reading. I think you need to distinguish the letters from the background to make it more clear.

The hardness and industrialness of the colors is belied by the fact that it looks like scraps of paper arranged in a pattern.

I think if you wanted to make it more "aggressive," maybe try having the letters look like they're scorched into the surface - maybe as if they've been etched into a rusted steel wall with a blowtorch.

[ManicMatt]

Yeah the background..

White is a very passive colour, really. It's not aggressive at all.

The colours elsewhere work.

Aggression. It would make me think the writing would be IN YOUR FACE rather than it being almost discreet like it is right now.

The "font" if you will is nice and aggressive though!

[i k a r i]

Thank you everyone for your comments, Im very sorry for what Im about to say, but I forgot to mention I cant use any background, I can only use typography... :

The letters are suppoused to be the background, they are negative space in this graphic piece, I guess is normal you cant read it right away..Maybe they are still too hard to read?

Ali by the way he felt about himself you mean I should try to achieve an egocentric effect?, and now that you mention it, steel is suppoused to be strong and is all busted there, could that be a problem too? 

About the "T" representing the hammer, do you think is a bit "cheap"?.. Or you didnt notice it?

Again, thank you all VERY much, and sorry for not mentioning the BG thing..

A friend of mine just told me the "i" is too different from the others, and that it doesnt look very nice, I dont think like him, what do you guys think?..

[Becky]

I really dislike the backwards N, it just seems unecessarily silly, and removes from the "aggression" that you are trying to portray.

[i k a r i]

I really dislike the backwards N, it just seems unecessarily silly, and removes from the "aggression" that you are trying to portray.

I think you're right :S

Thanks..

[ManicMatt]

EXTREMELY rough edit:

Look what happens when I do this:



The writing is instantly visible, and you still haven't got a background... right? No? Ah crap. You see what I'm getting at though. How does it look with an outline for the font but still outer white?

I second that 'N' switching. I thought it looked funny!

[i k a r i]

Ok I've made my mind then, I'll change the N   

About your edit Matt, the black thing would be consider background Im afraid, thanks for the edit.

I've tried the outline thing before, It looked much more functional, and much more ugly. 

[Ali]

Ali by the way he felt about himself you mean I should try to achieve an egocentric effect?, and now that you mention it, steel is suppoused to be strong and is all busted there, could that be a problem too?Ã, 

The busted steel is not necessarily a problem, but Stalin was a complex man. It's not enough just to characterise him as something terrible. He was powerful, glorious and terrible. Your fractured lettering illustrates something of the reality of Stalin, but little of the propaganda. Where is the captain of soviet industry? Where is the leader of the world's only true democracy? These aren't easy things to capture, but summing an individual up with lettering isn't easy.

If you can't use a background I'd still suggest adding a wider margin - that would make the lettering easier to read. I'd also suggest you forget about the texture and work on the lettering in sillouhette, then put the texture back on later. That will help clarify what is and isn't working.

Ok I've made my mind then, I'll change the N

About your edit Matt, the black thing would be consider background Im afraid, thanks for the edit.

I've tried the outline thing before, It looked much more functional, and much more ugly.

I didn't realise the N was backwards, but I agree. Don't overlook the fact that functionality is prominent in socialist design, and may have a place in this work.

[Scummbuddy]

Can you add a frame around the image, like 10-20 pixels that continue the rusty look? And whatever rusty "positive space" between the letters that connects is all for the best.

The split "I" works well as "aggresive". I also agree with correcting the "N".

[i k a r i]

Before adding the "effects" and drawing the texture, what do you think about this one?..Is it better, and more readable?..or more of the same..

I've made wider margins, and straighten the N..



"Warning - while you were reading a new reply has been posted. You may wish to review your post."

Scumm thanks for posting, I cant use the frame Im afraid, and the connection between the letters is so that I can create this pointy rusty forms between them, most of the "possitive space" is pointy..

[ManicMatt]

*Matt fails to get it*


I bet this is considered a background too! Well I don't see how the white on your normal image normally ISN'T a background, as it does exist, as a white background. Unless you printed it out and cut out the white. *scratches his head*

or why not cut out the surrounding bit when you print it out, ergo no outer bit at all. But then the rusty bits inbetween would look like background..

I give up.

[EagerMind]

I think I actually like just the black and white better.

I have to disagree with Scumbuddy, I think you should make the 'I' solid. Splitting it breaks style with the other letters. I didn't really notice the 'N' before, but it looks better normal.

I think you should try to split the letters apart more. The way the 'I' and 'N' are connected, they look like a 'W'. I think if you split all the letters apart a bit more it would greatly improve legability. You can still keep the pointy forms if you separate the letters, just have them "slice" completely through the white space. Am I making sense?

Where is the leader of the world's only true democracy?

Uh ... what?

[i k a r i]

EagerMind remind me why I've turned the "N", cause it looked like a W...=P
I'll follow your advice and try to separete the letters a bit more to see if it works (Im at work right now though), do you really think it looks better black and white O_O..
No, really, this is important :S, should I leave it B&W?, no effects no nothing?..  Someone with your art abilities must know what he's talking about but, Im not sure what to do.

Matt, in a black background  the small white elemments would be considered possitive, and in a white bg the black elemments.
So here the possitive things would be the rusty points, I could make a black BG but it would be the same..
The bg cant be an important part of the work

[Afflict]

I would approach this a little different, your doing aggresion. Do a broken mirror in the same style spelling out the letters, can add blood particles etc.

Aggresion : Is then achieved by the following broken mirror , the blood and might even reflect a angry face?

Well rules and limitations suck! Especially in art!

[i k a r i]

I would approach this a little different, your doing aggresion. Do a broken mirror in the same style spelling out the letters, can add blood particles etc.

Aggresion : Is then achieved by the following broken mirror , the blood and might even reflect a angry face?

Well rules and limitations suck! Especially in art!

Thats a great idea, I'll try it for the next thursday (not this one) which is the final day..I cant add the angry face though, and Im scared just to think how is it going to look, Im not an expert creating textures, the mirror must be very hard to do..

And in the other hand Im still trying to decide If I should leave it Black and white or with the Rusty texture, I need help with this decision 
And YES limitations SUCK a lot.

[i k a r i]

A small update for those interested (noone probably  ), I got an "A", the highest note in the class along with a "Picasso" and an "Andy Warhol", thank you all for helping me out, I really appreciate it.

Hopefully next time I post something to critic will be AGS related.