Please Crit on picture (made in a few minutes, just timekiller)

[PsychicHeart]

Hey Agsers,
i made this in a couple of minutes, and now it's started to grow a hold on me! I'm planning to sharpen it up, but maybe you guys can help aswell.

Cheers,
Fb.
PS: I don't really know what i want from it,
i just need to improve it somehow.

[Scummbuddy]

If the bottom thing is a coffin, then it needs to be in the shape of it and perspective would help. And please, no textures.

The flower looks odd with no detail, compared to the textured bottom thing. It's not a matter of 'sharpening up the object'. It's about detail. And typically, stems don't get larger as they go towards the end, but the reverse of that.

I do, however, really like the typeface you used. The phrase works well with the drooping flower, and the 'coffin'.

[PsychicHeart]

The phrase works well with the drooping flower, and the 'coffin'.

Thanks, it's from My Chemical Romance's video for it's new song 'Helena'. In the (aussie version anyway) clip, the scene is a funeral, and the incredibly powerful song (if you're a MCR fan you'll know what i'm talking about) goes well with the setting, especially the expression of pretty much everyone at the funeral, especially the protagonist of the clip, has the same incredibly depressed, love deprivated look about them.
I agree, the flower needs more detail, and (though it obviously isn't shown), i wanted to give it an olden-time sort of setting, hence the reason the casket looks more like a box then a coffin but, i will help.
Scumm, perhaps you could do a quick version?

[Haddas]

That text sounds weird if you read it by what the letters actually mean and sound like.

[Chicky]

MCR get boring really fast. As for the image, use a different font and do what everyone else said.

[InCreator]

There's nothing to crit here: so-called "flower" is simply a red and green blob and coffin without textures and cross would be simply 2 rectangles.

I don't understand what do you want to achieve by posting this here.

suggestion: Don't post "timekillers", they won't neither give you any useful feedback nor help you in learning to draw.
Next time, draw long and hard, try to squeeze everything out of your skills. Then we crit and you improve.

[Tuomas]

the -a- flower, I can't reallly figure out werther it's a rose or a tulip. Seems like a tulip, but the, can I say anathomy is more like that of a rose. I dare you to google some images that may give advice on the details. It's rather big compared to the coffin though. Which brings me to another subject:
   The coffin looks more like two blocks side by side. My advice is, do as Ido so very often when I don't know what something really looks like, google an image...

I must agree with Haddas on the text

InCreator, there is something to crit here. Read the above and stop stupid accuses. Sorry, but I for one am here to advice others to do something differently in order to achieve better results.

[Andail]

But Tuomas, I think Increator has a point, actually.
If Flukeblake couldn't spend some extra time on this picture, why should a lot of forum members do it?

Flukeblake should realise that there is very much he can do to improve his art without turning to an internet community. One simple thing would be to spend more than a couple of minutes on his pictures, another would be to return to it the following day to see if he can find something to improve himself.

Unfortunately, Flukeblake has a history of threads containing only these two-minutes jottings, none of which he returns to in order to improve it according to other people's advice.

[Nacho]

General:
I think two basic rules must be set for CL, as well. I think they should be:

-Post if you can't go on without help, (so, post finished work) or...
-Post for help if you are in an early stage of your work and going on this direction could became a problem if the beginning is not appropiate (Which means: Squetches, choose of colours before starting the AA, etc, etc...)

I am quite sure I haven't behaved as a moderator because I am not directly refering to this post, but as CL in general... I'd be glad to discuss about "my" rules for CL, and if some news must be adder, changed/removed in a propper thread... ^_^

Fluke: Doing something for killing time is not good. The first step before catching the /pencil mouse and starting creating is sitting and think "What should I do? Why? How?" I personally have a big image full of pixel art, I go there and add an object when I want to kill the time, you could do the same.

I see also problems with the size (Is this extra resolution needed?) Many times people go for high when they could do the work more easy and with more appealing results in low.

I see problems about the composition. Make a quick pencil squetch before to see where do you want to locate it all. The coffin is too low. The perspective is bad there, go and google for some perspective tuts. The shape of the coffin is simple illogic. Seems it is made for a 5 meters high person. Have that in mind before drawing "How is the thing I want to paint?"

Google for references and have them in the same painting program to see if you are doing it ok. Everybody does that at some point, almost nobody draws from pure scratch.

The same for the rose. As someone pointed out, it's not clear what is it...

Hope it helps.

[Darth Mandarb]

I did a quick paint-over:



Seriously Fluke ...

I actually respect that you stick around and keep on trying.  However, you need to start listening to the advice that is given (some you do listen, some you ignore).

Unless the rose is supposed to be flat like that, you really should spend a tad more time on it before posting.  Even if it was just a "timekiller".

There really aren't any strict rules about what you can and can't post, but still.  It seems like you do these things intentionally to irritate people?

[Tuomas]

I was about to answer in his behalf, but then I realized I have nothing to say, as I read his post fully through:

I'm planning to sharpen it up, but maybe you guys can help aswell.

Yeah like doing it for you like Darth did... we can comment, but now I agree with others. Don't wait for others to sharpen something up for you that you never even tried to do well lame

[Layabout]

theonly thing to improve this picture would be time, ability to draw, reference photos.

now go away you son of an newt!

[InCreator]

My advice was far from "stupid accusation" and it was given as artist and 2-year-resident-of-CL, not as a moderator-wannabe or Anti-flukeblake-club-member.

Tuomas acted like FlukeBlake was a jew and me an angry skinhead, waiting for flame/fight where it wasn't even close. That's the modern mentality what has been discussed a lot in Gen-gen.

Truth is, I repeat myself again...

Dear Flukeblake.
Now that your bad reputation is leaving you and AGS members are starting to forget things, please consider taking things seriously.
You have a helpful community of very skilled people here... why waste it?
Try to draw really well, and post only when you feel that you're in point where you could really use professional help and you are ready to accept and use it well, too. Not taking others seriously ends up with people not taking you seriously. Don't take offense about what I said, just open this image of yours in paint software and show what you're really made of.

This is what I would do instead of you.
I believe it might work.

[Tuomas]

And, InCreator,as you are suggesting, I misunderstood what you meant. We got mixed up and I don't want you to be blaming me for what I accidentaly blamed you for. I mentioned I was sorry, and struggling with this s.c. "hostile" atmosphere I got confused. I appologise InCreator for interpreting your post as one of those hostile, and for probably pointing it out too sharply, which I didn't wish to do.

And for this post not to be in vain, Fluke, I suggest you to answer these threads unless you just want to pull our noses, because that's what it feels like. And I've been triyng to be on your side for as long as I remember

[Mozesh]

Fluke, might I suggest you start with low-res art. All the stuff I've seen of you are extremely large for a 320 240 game or are made for a 640 480 (or above) game. Try making some sprites for a low-res game and post them after you feel you've done the best you can. The thing is, high-res drawing is for most people a lot harder to do than low-res, especially people who have less experience.

Try making something with about that size, try to read some tutorials and do your best to make up for your 'damaged' reputation.

[InCreator]

I apologise InCreator for interpreting your post as one of those hostile, and for probably pointing it out too sharply, which I didn't wish to do.

No need to, no offense taken. (To be honest, I'm always surprised how fragile others are and how easily offended, even in internet forums).

I'm just tired (and I believe many others are too) of this "FlukeBlake's case" and I'm trying to help him, suggesting how to act. It may be harsh, but seem right to me (there was time where I was on his level too, though I wasn't that radical).
Any trial to enter conversations in gen-gen usually ended with Shabazjinkens hammering me, so it was quite difficult to learn to act in place with so many different cultures and views.

My way out and to the arena (though I'm still quite nobody, I think) was the Critics Lounge. Helping people was both fun and educational for me aswell... and here I am.

I think that FlukeBlake needs similar anchor to attach himself into community. Best way would be releasing a game, and prefreably something that gains at least a bit of popularity.
But if he chooses CL, there's some unwritten (and written aswell) rules here.

[Redwall]

Mozesh, what are you dragging me into this for?

[esper]

I have kind of an idea, but I'm not sure how well it could be implemented in the forums. I have seen it done at other forums... Even Game Maker's forums have something very slightly similar, or at least they used to.

I think FB's prob is that he wants people to see his stuff. He might not need critiquing (no one critique me for this statement, but: how can you critique a green line being eaten by a red blob on top of a wooden cigar made by Jesus?), but he wants to show his stuff off anyway. Is there a way that we can have a "personal page" on our profiles where we can display pictures, and maybe where people can comment (kinda like PM's mixed with guestbooks that everyone can see)... It shouldn't take up too much bandwidth, since all our pics on this site are remotely hosted, and there probably wouldn't be too many posts so it wouldn't eat up much space there... I've at least seen profile pages that offer a picture that's like an enlarged avatar, where you can post a pic of yourself or whatnot (ie GM). Then, if you had something interesting for people to see, you could link it from your sig.

That might serve a dual purpose:
   1) There would be less crap put in CL.
   2) There  would be less people arguing about it.

[Mozesh]

Mozesh, what are you dragging me into this for?

Sorry , just one I came across

[TheYak]

Unless he's specifically aimed for irritation and controversy, I can only imagine that the time-killing image took more time than he'd care to admit.  I, myself, am guilty of making comments about my own work to conserve pride.  Many of us have made similar statements: Whipped this out real quick; didn't have time; screwed up but was too far into it to correct; don't like it much; didn't care about it.  They all beg the same question: Why did you post it for critique then. 

Maybe I'm only actually speaking for myself, but it takes me a great deal of time to end up with a mediocre image and it's embarrassing.  It's much easier on the ego to state that I was rushed or place the blame on something beyond my control, particularly when I see drawings and their corresponding fixes posted by the likes of Pessi, Dan Clarke, and Loominus. 

If this is the case for you, Fluke (assuming you bother to read the replies to the thread), you might try something along the lines of:

"This didn't take me that long, but I don't really know how I could improve it by spending more time on it.  I don't want to take up too much of your time, but a couple pointers and especially diagrams, would help me improve quite a lot.  Thank you in advance for whatever advice you might have, and I'll be sure to use what I'm able to in this or future illustrations." 

I refuse to believe you wouldn't get a more supportive response from everyone if this were your attitude.  It can take years to make a movie, 2 hours to watch it, and 30 minutes to write a lengthy review of it.  It can take years (even a decade) to write a long novel, yet I read it in a couple of days.  By this measurement, if you truly spent only a matter of minutes on this, I don't see how it merits more than 5 seconds of reply.  For those that can make an excellent background, illustration, or sprite in mere moments, they've undoubtedly invested many hours, days, or years honing their technique.  I'd suggest you be willing to do the same if you'd like them to give it their full attention.