A story about a girl. (sorry if this isn't exactly general discussion)

Erenoth02 · Tue 31/05/2011 00:31:03

It was about a year ago when Sarah approached me at the spring festival my local college hosts, she was one of those skinny girls who hangs out at the local skate park showing off moves getting bruises and excetra. Which is why I thought it was a prank when she asked me out... however at the time she was serious.

Fast-forward over a year ahead and we have been dating in a serious relationship, this year she took a quarter off of college and vacationed with her family in Florida, during the past few weeks she stopped calling me every night.

I was very excited when she finally arrived home, I wanted impatiently until she drove up the drive way to my place and got out, she was cross, angry, she said she didn't know me, she never loved me, and she demanded that I return ever single gift she ever gave me over the time we were together.

Now I don't have everything she ever gave me theres a few things back at my parents house, I think, and some others got lost in the move, including a horrid t-shirt she thought looked good on me.. but now she wants it all back for........Zack from flordia.

I cant give what I don't have, therefore, she is reporting me to the police.. :-S

So I ask... what should I expect? It all seems a bit far fetched to me. Has anyone experienced this? what questions are they going to ask me?? how should I prepare??

Grim · Tue 31/05/2011 00:43:46

Police are never going to take her seriously, I wouldn't worry about that at all. But if they actually turn up at your doorstep you should tell them axactly what you've just written. They'll understand. No one ever got arrested for a gifted t-shirt!

Shame about the relationship, though...

I'd try to find out if that Zack isn't just a lame excuse and the real reason for this odd behavior isn't something completely different. Remember that girls often say one thing but mean something else.... They just seem to think it's better to solve problems this way. To me it sounds like she blames you for something she think you have done. Maybe someone told her some lies about you?... There must be another reason for this anger....

Anian · Tue 31/05/2011 00:57:31

1. if she's acting like this, and I don't want to sound cruel, but in the long run you're better off. Unless you did something, like cheated, there's no call for this reaction from an average sane person, doesn't matter if she got a new romance or anything else
2. if it's a gift from long ago, no take backsies, is she going to tell the police that some months ago you made her buy you a shirt or something?
3. you should maybe be a tad bit worried about her starting to act stalkish, keying your car etc., so don't go into arguments, if there's stuff like cds that you borrowed/took to listen to, then return those just to ease the tension

Radiant · Tue 31/05/2011 01:03:19

Quote from: Erenoth02 on Tue 31/05/2011 00:31:03
she demanded that I return ever single gift she ever gave me over the time we were together.

She needs to look up the definition of "gift" in the dictionary. If she had wanted to lease you those things instead, she should have made you sign for them in advance to have any legal standing.

m0ds · Tue 31/05/2011 01:42:29

Sorry to hear that. A black man once told me (seriously) "No matter how much you love her, she'll always be a bitch."

Case in point - ignore her. Sorry it's gone sour, but she's just being bitter. Things don't look good - so don't be all soppy and expect things to get right again, tell her to go to hell, and that you burnt all her remaining gifts last night. There is absolutely nothing the police can or will do about it. When you get threatened by a woman, you have to remember, in most instances, they're just spouting out crap from their head, they haven't thought it through.

Tough as it may be she's trying to make a hard time on you even harder.

Whatever she "gave" you - like Radiant states - is now yours, and if anything, you'll have a stronger case for the authorities if she tries to get any of it back. In effect, she's trying to steal your possessions, only she's a woman, who as I said more often than not don't think things through - so stupidly she's asking first. Tell her where to stick it, and find yourself a nice new partner. Good luck!

Calin Leafshade · Tue 31/05/2011 01:54:30

Quote from: Mods on Tue 31/05/2011 01:42:29
When you get threatened by a woman, you have to remember, in most instances, they're just spouting out crap from their head, they haven't thought it through.

Quote
In effect, she's trying to steal your possessions, only she's a woman, who as I said more often than not don't think things through - so stupidly she's asking first.

Wayda be a modern man there Mods. I assume you have just arrived from the 1950s.

NickyNyce · Tue 31/05/2011 01:57:23

First off, girl's are a dime a dozen, this just might be the best thing that ever happened to you, act like it aint no thing, on to the next. Consider it a notch in your belt.

If the stuff don't mean anything to you, give it back, once again act like it don't bother you. The more you show a girl that it don't bother you the more it bother's them.

If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it's your's forever.

Good luck to Zack, gonna be kind of hard getting any from Florida.

Stupot · Tue 31/05/2011 02:15:20

Has she even given you an explanation as to why she's angry with you?
Sounds like a severe case of PMT to me. Reminds me of one of them period dramas $:-\$

How well do you know her family? Maybe they can shed some light onto this mysterious Zack character. As far as I'm concerned he's welcome to her and you're better off without that kind of behaviour. But some answers would be nice, I'm sure.

m0ds · Tue 31/05/2011 02:22:35

Quote from: Calin Leafshade on Tue 31/05/2011 01:54:30
Wayda be a modern man there Mods. I assume you have just arrived from the 1950s.

You only get closure from good friends, so with the described behavior we can assume this woman isn't a very good friend, and no longer needs to be treated like one. I know too many women that use their gob and not their brain. Sorry if that's not the case for you and you know nothing but sterling, intelligent women who are happy to explain all of their emotions in a thought out manner to you :

Khris · Tue 31/05/2011 03:24:51

Here's my piece of layman's psychology:
(You didn't ask why she behaves the way she does, so either you aren't telling us everything or you don't care but here goes.)

She cheated on you, she's feeling really guilty about it and now what she does is try to convince herself that somehow you deserved it. Thus she acts like you did to reinforce that belief/delusion. It's quite common unfortunately, especially with young (read: immature) people.

Since there are zero legal grounds for her demands, like the others said, don't worry about the police. I'm pretty sure it was an empty thread anyway.

Erenoth02 · Tue 31/05/2011 03:34:28

Quote from: Khris on Tue 31/05/2011 03:24:51
Here's my piece of layman's psychology:
(You didn't ask why she behaves the way she does, so either you aren't telling us everything or you don't care but here goes.)

She cheated on you, she's feeling really guilty about it and now what she does is try to convince herself that somehow you deserved it. Thus she acts like you did to reinforce that belief/delusion. It's quite common unfortunately, especially with young (read: immature) people.

Since there are zero legal grounds for her demands, like the others said, don't worry about the police. I'm pretty sure it was an empty thread anyway.

I was unable to get any reason from her as to why she was so mad at me, when I asked her she implied that i was retarded, I didn't understand, she had told me that she never loved me. Trying to reason with her... apologize and asking what happened or what I did only made her even angrier at me so I let it go...

I didn't feel the need to post that..

Erenoth02 · Tue 31/05/2011 03:35:59

I think its more of a, "I wasted almost two years on you and I want them back, since Zack is willing to move from Flordia"

Obviously Im not going to get back the things that she borrowed from me, so I might as well just give her everything that I can find and apologize for the missing things.

Her parents came by, her dad was nice and shook my hand but her mother insisted that I immediately relinquish everything, when I carefully tried to mention the things I left at her house her mother exploded, I apologized and told her I would scour my parents house for any gifts left there.

Anian · Tue 31/05/2011 03:46:06

I'm sorry, but what exactly do they want back, I kind of doubt it's a shirt she gave you. Did she have her clothes at your place or what? Are you skipping something here?

And don't freakin' give away anything that's been branded a gift, everything else - let them give you a list of stuff they want, this is just stupid and really doesn't make sense. You can't know everything you exchanged over almsot 2 years. I forget where I parked my car the day before, damn if I remember what happened a year ago.
As was mentioned, act as calm as possible, even if you're mad.
I would go as far as not letting them into your house, her mother has no right yelling at you from now on, you said you are 28, she starts yelling - you slap her (just kidding, don't slap

). And make your own list of stuff that might be at her place, if she threatens again with the police, tell them you'll go with your own list to the police.

Btw you do seem to have strange problems, first false Lucas Arts threats, now this.

Erenoth02 · Tue 31/05/2011 04:06:06

A lot of people get weird emails and most of them are smart enough to not reply to them or click on any links...

The Lucas Arts thing happened some time ago Ive been busy with college so I didnt worry over it after I thought it was taken care of.. The internet company Im with was very angry so without investigation I jumped into it, the guy who owns the company is a friend in the small town I live in we dont get much.

Perhaps I should have used more discretion in posting two issues at once but the girl problems happened over the weekend whilst the Steam problem was ongoing and since I had an extra long weekend for memorial day I decided to look further into my Steam issues.

I probably blew the girl thing out of proportions because at the time i was scared

m0ds · Tue 31/05/2011 12:38:13

QuoteObviously Im not going to get back the things that she borrowed from me, so I might as well just give her everything that I can find and apologize for the missing things.

Her parents came by, her dad was nice and shook my hand but her mother insisted that I immediately relinquish everything, when I carefully tried to mention the things I left at her house her mother exploded, I apologized and told her I would scour my parents house for any gifts left there.

Oh man, that's sad. You've been cheated on, possibly lied to and maybe even had your heart broken - and you're prepared to meet her demands? That's sad. Man up!

You seem susceptible to bullying, both by her and her mother. You should have broken contact days ago. You do not owe anything to these people.

To quote The wedding singer:
"Give me back my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up!"

InCreator · Tue 31/05/2011 14:02:38

Assuming you're "innocent" party in this story,

1) Tell her to gtfo and ignore any further communication. She will give you more and more temper due not having your attention, but if you hold your ground (not by arguing but being silent) and ignore her, she'll resign over some time. Say a single word, and you are back on square one. TEXTING INCLUDES COMMUNICATION, so don't ever respond, whatever insulting trash she might text

The probable reason for her "so mad" actions is to provocate you to yell and get angry. Why? Because she has bit of guilt for what she did and like any woman, she wants you to ease it by getting you to be a dick yourself so she could justify dumping you in her little, dumb head.

2) Forget about T-shirt, this is total BS
3) Live on.

WHAM · Tue 31/05/2011 14:25:07

Ignore the bitch, stop answering the phone or messages. They were gifts, they cannot be demanded back due to a change of heart, and even if she tells the police you stole them, she still needs to prove she owns them in the first place. Hard to do without receipts etc.

Dualnames · Tue 31/05/2011 15:36:24

You're not even who you said you are...
And you lied to me...

vertigoaddict · Tue 31/05/2011 22:09:53

Maury show, no Jerry sprinnger...Oh! Judge Judy! Definitely. Or a councellor...or a knife.

Anyways, alot of people have already said it, but this girl is obviously mentally unbalanced and you're being a bit of a push-over (I'm being a little hypocritical, 'cause I am too a little). You owe her nothing and if she's making those demands you should be ready to do the same, then again it might seem a little childish.

An eye for an eye or be the bigger person, but don't let her or her mother push you around.

Chicky · Tue 31/05/2011 22:16:55

Quote from: Mods on Tue 31/05/2011 01:42:29
Sorry to hear that. A black man once told me (seriously) "No matter how much you love her, she'll always be a bitch."

Haha spot on!! Some girls are downright mad, the things they can do to fuck with your head!

That said, most men are womanisers.

A story about a girl. (sorry if this isn't exactly general discussion)

m0ds

m0ds

m0ds