ANGELO DEADHAND and the Case of the Grimacing Weasel

discordance · Thu 27/10/2011 03:01:47

Residential Green hasn't updated in ages! OMG NO! But what's this?

TO THE REEEEEEESCUE

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If games like A Mind Forever Voyaging and Starship Titanic are the hefty literary classics of the Interactive Fiction genre, the ADVENTURES OF ANGELO DEADHAND are the shlock you buy in airport terminals to while away the time on your transatlantic flights. Critics called them trash designed for the lowest common denominator. Average people thought they were the best. Eighteen Angelo Deadhand games were released in all, with a further twenty-two planned, before the series' reclusive creator vanished under mysterious circumstances. Angelo Deadhand was forgotten in 1993, along with the entire genre of interactive fiction.

This is the seventh adventure, taking place immediately after ANGELO DEADHAND AND THE LUNAR CAPER. Angelo's experiences on the moon have left him scarred, but he's already back on the case.

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ANGELO DEADHAND AND THE CASE OF THE GRIMACING WEASAL
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NEW, LOAD, or QUIT?

> new

You are ANGELO DEADHAND, crack investigator for the Future City Secret Police. You woke up this evening to the shrill sound of your phone ringing. Two hours later, you boarded a shuttle for the ritzy Upper City, a page of secret orders clutched in your hand. The shuttle touched down at its destination and you stepped out onto the landing pad into the bustling sounds of the big city.

You are on the LANDING PAD. In front of you are the glitzy main doors of the MAGICAL WONDERS CASINO AND HOTEL. In your left hand is the CRUMPLED NOTE.

>

-=Lisa=- · Thu 27/10/2011 13:47:21

> unfold note
Unfolded.

> read secret orders
Command not recognized.

> read note

discordance · Thu 27/10/2011 22:30:26

"For the eyes ANGELO DEADHAND only!

Listen, Angelo, we could be up against something BIG here. There's a ring of dangerous weapon smugglers we've been trying to bust for months. There may be other shady business involved. Nobody's sure, but it's time to take action. We think the ringleader is a man called BLONDE JACK, a foreigner currently staying in the penthouse suite of the MAGICAL WONDERS HOTEL. Sources say he's out on the town tonight. We've provided you with a FAKE I.D. CARD. Should be a simple job: Get into his apartment, steal as much evidence as you can, and slide out without a trace! Good luck and DESTROY THIS MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY!!!!

ORDERS DIRECTLY FROM
CAPTAIN PAISLEY, FUTURE CITY SECRET POLICE"

Khris · Thu 27/10/2011 23:20:04

> eat note

CaptainD · Thu 27/10/2011 23:45:50

Quote from: LeKhris on Thu 27/10/2011 23:20:04
> eat note

>Regurgitate note and attempt to decipher secret message revealed by saliva.

discordance · Fri 28/10/2011 02:04:23

> eat note

In the interests of secrecy, you immediately ingest the note. Things like this are always harder going in than coming out.

> regurgitate note

The moment you finish your last swallow, you wonder if Captain Paisley left you a secret message decipherable only via dunking in a solution of human saliva, like that one time in the Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert. You hastily induce vomiting and throw up all the little paper chunks. It may not be too late!

> attempt to decipher secret message revealed by saliva

Sadly, the slimy paper chunks are no longer legible. You keep them in a small plastic bag, just in case.

Khris · Fri 28/10/2011 02:23:30

> enter hotel

discordance · Fri 28/10/2011 02:33:44

You are in the LOBBY, a lushly carpeted sanctuary decked out in polished cedar and resplendent with tapestries. Clearly this is not a place for cheapskates.

The pretty RECEPTIONIST smiles at you over her newspaper.

To the west is the CASINO FLOOR. To the east are the ELEVATORS.

CaptainD · Fri 28/10/2011 08:36:57

>Examine tapestries
>Examine receptionist
>Ask receptionist if she's seen anyone or anything strange at the hotel recently
>Make note to ask receptionist for a date once all this is over
>Reminisce about Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert

discordance · Fri 28/10/2011 20:58:06

> examine tapestries

After several minutes of careful study, you conclude that they are indeed tapestries.

You don't know much about art.

> Examine receptionist

A woman of twenty to twenty-five, strawberry blond hair, expertly applied makeup, purple nail polish slightly chipped on left thumb, wearing a white sweater and what look like pearl earrings.

> Ask receptionist if she's seen anyone or anything strange at the hotel recently

It's time to do what you do best - make conversation.

You sidle up to the desk and give the receptionist a friendly nod. "Evening."
"Evening, sir," she says politely. "Can I help you?"
"I'd just like to know if you've seen anyone or anything strange in the hotel recently."
She squints at you. "I don't think so," she says. "What, are you with the press or something?"

> Make note to ask receptionist for a date once all this is over

"One sec," you say, pulling out your notepad and hastily scribbling a reminder: Ask receptionist for date when all this is over!

> Reminisce about Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert

Ah, the Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert! The part you remember best is when you were trapped at the bottom of the mine shaft as it slowly filled with water, trying to wake up your partner Jimmy Waterloo, who was sleeping off a hangover thirty feet above you.

Good times. Sadly, you and Jimmy are no longer partners.

Prozail · Fri 28/10/2011 21:39:05

> Examine fake ID

> Show fake ID to receptionist

> Lie

discordance · Sat 29/10/2011 01:09:23

> Examine fake ID

On the front is a picture of you. The card claims that your name is "Blonde Jack," and that you have full access to the Magical Wonders Casino and Hotel Penthouse.

On the back is a sticky note reading: "ANGELO! This ID card should get you into the penthouse. IT WILL NOT HOLD UP UNDER CLOSE SCRUTINY! BE CAREFUL! DESTROY THIS"

At that point it seems the writer ran out of space on the note.

> Show fake ID to receptionist

The receptionist is staring at you with one eyebrow slightly raised.

"Ah," you say, "right. No, I'm not from the press." You wave the card in her face.

"Oh," she says, "so you're the guy in the penthouse suite." She nods knowingly.

> Lie

"Yes," you assert. "My name is Blonde Jack."

Prozail · Sun 30/10/2011 09:21:56

> Ask receptionist: I seem to have misplaced my keycard. Can i have a new one?

> Go upstairs.

discordance · Sun 30/10/2011 21:08:32

> Ask receptionist: I seem to have misplaced my keycard. Can i have a new one?

"Sure thing," she says, passing you a KEYCARD. You shove it into your pocket.

Smooth as ever, Angelo. ONWARD!

Go upstairs

You love to exercise, but the penthouse is approximately 50 floors straight up. This is probably a job for the ELEVATOR.

CaptainD · Mon 31/10/2011 08:26:22

>Get in Elevator
>Travel to Penthouse
>Check for signs of forced entry into Penthouse before you got here
>Use Keycard to enter Penthouse

discordance · Mon 31/10/2011 17:24:37

>Get in Elevator

Gotten. In.

>Travel to Penthouse

You scan the massive panel of buttons. At the very top is the button for the PENTHOUSE. You give it an experimental push. A red light comes on.

AUTHORIZE WITH KEYCARD, suggests the label of a blinking red light.

>Use Keycard to enter Penthouse

You slide the keycard into the slot. DING! The elevator glides away.
An interminably long time later, it grinds to a stop. DING! The doors slide open.
Curiously, it seems the elevator opens directly into the penthouse's main room.

You are in the PENTHOUSE ENTRANCE, where thick red carpets give way to rich redwood walls, hung with tasteful paintings. To the east, you can see an INDOOR SWIMMING POOL. To the north is the door to the BEDROOM. To the west is the BATHROOM, which from here looks larger than your entire apartment.

>Check for signs of forced entry into Penthouse before you got here

You quickly check the room. There are no signs that anyone has been here before you. In fact, everything is so immaculate, it seems unlikely that anyone is staying here at all.

Prozail · Mon 31/10/2011 17:53:16

>steal as much evidence as you can, and slide out without a trace!
(kidding)

But we can start of with:
> north
> examine bed. (im guessing there is one)

discordance · Tue 01/11/2011 01:08:13

> north

You are in the BEDROOM. The first thing that catches your eye is the massive floor-to-ceiling window on the far wall, through which you can see the neon glow of the city by night. It's so awesome, you almost miss the king-size bed in the corner.

> examine bed

You straighten your collar and slick back your hair. THE SEARCH IS ON!

The bed is a standard king-size hotel bed. You pull back the sheets and flip over the pillows.
Underneath one of the pillows is a HANDHELD DATA DEVICE.

qptain Nemo · Tue 01/11/2011 09:27:29

>quickly check the handheld data device for any dirty content and pocket it
>look under the bed
>jump on the bed for a bit

CaptainD · Tue 01/11/2011 11:45:57

Also:

>Examine Swimming Pool
>Splash about
>Splash about more