ANGELO DEADHAND and the Case of the Grimacing Weasel

[-=Lisa=-]

This was fun! You should sooo do a real Inform IF out of this!

[discordance]

>quickly check the handheld data device for any dirty content and pocket it

You switch on the device. It seems to contain a number of archived communications from various cryptically named sources: "The Bleeding Basset", "The Splintered Gorilla", "The Lovely Parrot", "The Grimacing Weasel", "The Penniless Koala". You open a message at random. It reads:

"another flaw to correct meet at usual place tomorrow night only thirteen days left to wait"

Interesting. You drop the device into your pocket.

>look under the bed

You glance under the bed. No dead bodies, just some dust.

>jump on the bed for a bit

You bounce a few times, experimentally, and ascertain that the springs are sound.

That's what you were doing. Ascertaining that the bedsprings are sound.

Somebody has to do it.

>Examine Swimming Pool

Time to examine the swimming pool! Shame you didn't bring your swim trunks along. You turn to leave the bedroom.

In the other room, you hear the DING of the elevator door opening.

[qptain Nemo]

>duck and cover
>listen warily

[discordance]

>duck and cover

You dive silently behind the bed and hunker down facing the giant window.

>listen warily

You can hear faint footfalls in the other room, but the carpet seems to be absorbing most of the noise. It's hard to tell how many people are out there or where they're going.

[CaptainD]

>Sneak a peak and hope you don't regret it...

[discordance]

>Sneak a peak

You raise your head and peek over the bed. You sure hope you don't regret it!

Through the bedroom door, you catch a glimpse of a gentleman in a stylish black tuxedo. The elegant effect is ruined somewhat by the gas mask on his face and the silver-coloured pistol in his hand. Also, he seems to be coming into the bedroom.

You duck back down behind the bed. Impossible to tell if he noticed you.

[CaptainD]

>Crawl under bed and listen
>Check inventory for Weapons of Mass Destruction anything that might help you defend yourself

[discordance]

>Crawl under bed and listen

You roll under the bed. You can see the stranger's classy black shoes closing in on the bedroom door.

>Check inventory

You are carrying:
- suit (worn)
- emergency cufflink transponder
- collection of small plastic bags (for evidence!)
- plastic bag full of partially-digested paper chunks
- fake ID
- genuine ID
- keycard
- notepad
- pen

[CaptainD]

>Use Pen on Pad to make drawing of CLASSY BLACK SHOE
>Try to tie intruder's shoelaces together

[qptain Nemo]

>scratch your butt to stimulate thinking abilities

[mkennedy]

> Record badguy's conversation with transponder

[discordance]

>Use Pen on Pad to make drawing of CLASSY BLACK SHOE

You quickly throw together a classy drawing of a shoe. What an excellent use of time.

>Try to tie intruder's shoelaces together

For a moment this seems like the best plan ever. Then you realize that his shoes are of the comfortable slip-on variety. There are no laces to be tied together.

Crushing defeat.

>scratch your butt to stimulate thinking abilities

Your thinking abilities are heartily stimulated.

> Record badguy's conversation with transponder

You stare at your transponder. You're pretty sure there's a means of transmitting recorded messages with this thing, but you've never had a chance to read the manual. All you know is how to send an emergency SOS signal back to HQ.

As you fumble with the transponder, the stranger begins to speak, his voice eerily modulated by the gas mask.

"Hey," he says. "Would you mind coming out for a moment? We may be able to help each other."

[CaptainD]

>Consider how the drawing of the shoes may become vital in the future, in some intangible way
>Get out from under bed and talk to the stranger
>Don't die

[discordance]

>Consider how the drawing of the shoes may become vital in the future, in some intangible way

You see a future in which your shoe drawing is prized as a priceless piece of art, with prints displayed in galleries all over the world. Adoring critics write entire books digging into the history and meaning of the work, and the secrets of its enigmatic and incredibly attractive creator - an artist and a hero. Your eyes swell with tears of joy.

You wipe the tears away. Business time.

>Get out from under bed and talk to the stranger

You pop up from under the bed and wipe some dust off your shirt.

"Sorry about all that," you say. "I wasn't expecting visitors."

He shoots you in the chest.

>Don't die

Luckily the shock seems to have dulled the pain. Adrenaline floods your veins. You're not dead yet.

But you should probably seek medical attention as quickly as possible.

[CaptainD]

>Would now be a good time to use your emergency transponder?!

[qptain Nemo]

>punch the attacker in the dick

[mkennedy]

> Pull off the badguy's gas mask and hope he can't breathe without it.

[discordance]

>Would now be a good time to use your emergency transponder?!

The parser cannot comment on the advisability of a given action. It is an impartial observer. It interprets, and it acts.

>punch the attacker in the dick

You go for the dick. His next shot goes wide and hits the window, which splinters loudly but somehow holds together. You miss the dick, though. You never really learned to fight. Running is your preferred response.

Gas Mask lays you out with a solid punch in the neck. You land on the bed. There seems to be a lot of blood coming out of your torso.

This isn't going as smoothly as you'd hoped.

> Pull off the badguy's gas mask and hope he can't breathe without it.

It's desperate, but it just might work! You bounce up and go for the mask.

He shoots you again. Arm this time. You're starting to feel the pain now.

[CaptainD]

>Decry the limitations of the parser
>Decry the brutality of the game
>Decry the criminal element of society

[qptain Nemo]

>write "fuck you, man" with your blood on the nearest surface
>use your transponder to send a HALP!!!111 message