ANGELO DEADHAND and the Case of the Grimacing Weasel

[CaptainD]

>First, record quick Last Will and Testament since you don't really know how to use the experimental jetpack

[discordance]

> record quick Last Will and Testament

You hastily whip out a scrap of paper and inscribe your Last Will and Testament, leaving everything to your beloved lab/golden retriever, Poofy.

> Fire up the jetpack and go fly off to catch the badguy!

No time to waste! None whatsoever! You fire up the jetpack without a second thought and blast straight out into the casino. You are moving extraordinarily fast and it is nearly impossible to steer. There is some collateral damage. Slot machines are smashed. Blackjack tables are overturned. The carpet is set on fire. You blow through the wall in a haze of shattered glass and and wood chips, and moments later you are flying through the sky-streets of Future City.

You somehow manage to adjust your course to more or less follow the bus rails towards the Upper City Central Station. At this wildly unsafe speed, you should arrive there well before the next bus does. So long as you don't crash into anything. The jetpack is very enthusiastic about flying in one direction, but it is sluggish and reluctant when the time comes to change course. If a flying car pops out in front of you, things could get a little explodey.

Luckily, no cars fly out in front of you, and you arrive safely at Central Station. The platform is abuzz with life even at this late hour, colourful crowds swarming on and off the endless chains of buses. You have no idea how to land, so you just switch off the jetpack and hope for the best. You crash down on the platform and leave a mighty crack in the concrete. Several newspaper vendors topples over in the ensuing shockwave. You stand up and peer through the fog of fluttering pages.

[CaptainD]

>Wait for the bus
>Search for guy in a gas mask (shouldn't be too hard?)

[mkennedy]

> If the suit has a cloaking device activate that. Otherwise hide yourself before the bus arrives so that you don't scare the badguy off.

[discordance]

> If the suit has a cloaking device activate that

Now why doesn't your suit have a cloaking device? You can't believe you didn't think of that. You'll have to talk to the Tech Lab kids RIGHT AWAY.

> hide yourself before the bus arrives

You look for something suitably bulky to conceal yourself behind. The Ticket Dispensers look sufficient, so you stomp over to one, ignoring the clamour of the crowd. Nobody could say that you're hidden, but you're at least a little less obvious.

>Wait for the bus

You wait for about six seconds. The bus is already pulling into the station.

>Search for guy in a gas mask

He's the first one to step off the bus. Stylish suit? Gas mask? Is that a pistol he's carrying? What is this guy's problem?

[mkennedy]

> disarm the badguy!

> Say "Let's find out who this joker really is!" and pull of the badguy's gas mask.

> arrest the badguy, If he resist get all Jack Bauer on him.

[CaptainD]

>Clear the area.  At least, keep them at a safe distance - you don't mind the attention.
>Act really surprised (even though you're not) if the bad GUY turns out to be a GAL (oh wait, this isn't a Hollywood production...)
>Ask:WHO ARE YOU?  WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?  WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?!?!
>Demand answers.  Apply persuasion techniques if necessary.  Check suit for Truth Serum.

[discordance]

> disarm the badguy!

You leap into action, stealthy and silent as a serpent. Or a drunk bear that just woke up from hibernation, that's probably a more apt analogy. Tipped off by your total lack of subtlety, Gas Mask Guy shoots you and runs away.

The Exoskeleton's Bullet Detectors whir into action, unleashing a shockwave of outward force that deflects the bullet and throws all the junk in the plaza into a whirlwind. You start to run. You have to hand it to Gas Mask Guy - he's fast.

But not fast enough.

> Say "Let's find out who this joker really is!"

"Let's find out who this joker really is!" you say jubilantly, pinning him to the ground with your enormous weight.

>Clear the area.  At least, keep them at a safe distance - you don't mind the attention.

"Citizens!" you roar. "I'm going to need everyone to take a few steps back! I'm about to unmask an INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS CRIMINAL, and I could never in good conscience put ordinary civilians in danger!"
Everyone takes like one step back, craning their necks to see what's going on. At least two reporters from Channel Six News are pushing their way to the front of the crowd.

> pull off the badguy's gas mask

You pull off the gas mask with a single mighty yank.

For a moment, all that can be heard is the low mutter of the crowd and the click-flash of the Channel Six News cameras.

>Act really surprised (even though you're not) if the bad GUY turns out to be a GAL

You do not need to feign surprise. In fact, you don't even need to feign horror.
There is no head beneath the mask. Instead, twin video cameras stare back at you, mounted on a small black box affixed to the man's neck. A voice emerges from a small speaker set in the box.
"Goddamit," it says wearily. "Do you know how expensive these things are?"

>Ask:WHO ARE YOU?  WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?  WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?!?!

"WHO ARE YOU?" you demand. "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?!?!"
"You can call me the Lovely Parrot if you like," he says. "My favourite colour is purple. They wouldn't let me wear a purple suit, though. Too conspicuous. That's all I'm going to tell you. Oh, one more thing. The Reckoning Of Your People Is Coming, Mortal. You Will Look In The Face Of Your Fellow Man And See Only Terror. Your Feeble Fingers Grasp, Pathetically, At What You Call A Victory. But You Have Already Lost. You Stare Now Into The End Of Your Kind And All You Know And Love. Goodbye."

>Demand answers.  Apply persuasion techniques if necessary.

"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" you shout, slapping him around a little. It has no effect. The body is limp as a rag doll. Even the twin cameras seem dull and silent.

> arrest the badguy

You quickly place the corpse under arrest.

You can hear the sound of an approaching helicopter.

[mkennedy]

> Take a moment to revel in avenging Angelo and the dead security guy.

> Call HQ to Tell them that you caught the badguy who may turn out to be a cyborg or android.

> Look at badguy. Search badguy for evidence.

> Ask them if Angello's doing any better and chew out Paiseley for sending him on a dangerous mission completely unarmed!

> Ask if Pauline and the tech team at HQ can dismantle the android / cyborg to recover any data or memory.

[discordance]

> Take a moment to revel in avenging Angelo and the dead security guy.

You give the limp body a satisfied kick. Victory is sweet.

> Search badguy for evidence.

You quickly rummage through his pockets. Besides the gun, all he's carrying is some kind of handheld data device. You snap it up.

> Ask if Pauline and the tech team at HQ can dismantle the android / cyborg to recover any data or memory.

"Hey Pauline, you still there?" you say.
"You bet, cowboy," says Pauline. "I've been watching on the security cameras. That was quite a piece of work you just did."
"My pleasure," you say. "You guys want to have a look at this thing? It's all a little too technical for me."
"I'm already itching to dismantle it," she says. "I think Paisley's sending someone in for pickup right now."

It's getting hard to hear over the sound of that helicopter.

> Call HQ to Tell them that you caught the badguy

You switch your communicator back to Paisley's channel. "Hey, boss, I got my man," you yell. "How are things?"
"I'm not pleased, Jim," says Paisley grimly. "I'm not pleased at all."
You feel a blast of air as the helicopter lands right next to you. The crowd starts to cheer. The chopper door opens and Captain Paisley himself steps out.
He does not look pleased.

> Ask them if Angello's doing any better and chew out Paiseley for sending him on a dangerous mission completely unarmed!

"Hey, boss," you say cheerfully. "How's Angelo doing?"
"He's being moved to the hospital," Paisley grinds out. "Waterloo, I need to have a very long chat with you about all this."
"I can hardly wait," you say. "But I have to ask, boss - what were you thinking, sending Angelo out on a job like this without any kind of weapon? God knows I'd have loved to lend him one."
"You know Deadhand," says Paisley. "He never did like guns. Get in the chopper. Boys, collect that corpse, we'll have our people go over it. And god, someone please tell this crowd to shut up!"
You step into the chopper, pausing for a single moment and waving to the crowd. They seem pretty excited. The last thing you see before the chopper lifts off is the bright flash of a news camera.

Hard to say for sure, but you're guessing you made the front page.

..................................

You wake up slowly, unsure of who you are. Soft pastel colours swim in your vision.

Where are you? Who are you? What's going on?

If only you could think clearly.

>

[CaptainD]

>Take a headache tablet (well it worked in H2G2!) 

[mkennedy]

> look self

> look around

> inventory

[discordance]

>Take a headache tablet

You scrounge around for a headache tablet. Popping one, you find that your mind becomes clear. You remember the past - and you can see into the future. The whole world is laid bare to you. All of history, past and present, becomes clear. You suddenly understand the purpose behind humanity's existence, and you see the final destination of the universe, burning in the distance like an ancient star.

At least, that's probably what would happen if you had a headache tablet.

But you don't.

> look self

Groggily, you have a look at yourself. Most of you is concealed beneath a stiff white blanket. You seem to be wearing a hospital gown.

> look around

Your eyes adjusting to the light, you examine your surroundings. You are lying in a BED in a small, extremely sanitary room. Beside you is an array of COMPLICATED MEDICAL EQUIPMENT that appears to be monitoring your vital signs. There is a POTTED PLANT in the corner. A NURSE is here, checking something on a display.

> inventory

You aren't carrying anything!

[CaptainD]

>Look at POTTED PLANT and say "Hi, Chuck!"
>Examine Nurse
>Ask Nurse what happened to you

[mkennedy]

> Tell nurse you can't think clearly and have lost your memory and ask her who you are or if she can give you something to clear your head.

[discordance]

>Look at POTTED PLANT and say "Hi, Chuck!"

As potted plants go, it looks pretty typical. You offer it a friendly greeting.

It doesn't respond.

>Examine Nurse

You study the nurse carefully. Middle-aged, short brown hair, stern expression, glasses, doesn't seem terribly interested in you.

>Ask Nurse what happened to you

"Nurse," you moan, "what has happened to me?"
She glances down at you. "Ah, you're awake," she says crisply. "Wonderful. I was beginning to think you'd be asleep for a week."
"A week?"
"I'll call the doctor."

> Tell nurse you can't think clearly and have lost your memory

"Nurse," you say, "this is a bit embarrassing, but I can't quite remember who I am right now."
She rolls her eyes and consults a clipboard. "Your name is Angelo Deadhand," she says. "You were admitted three days ago. You've undergone some fairly extensive surgery - I'll let the doctor tell you about it."
Oh, right. You remember now. You were shot. That was certainly unpleasant.

The DOCTOR stomps into the room, stroking a majestic mustache. "Mr Deadhand," he says. "And how are you feeling?"
"Just a little groggy," you say. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How bad was it?"
"Pretty bad," the doctor acknowledges, "but you pulled through all right."
"Don't pull any punches, Doc. Did you give me any bionic limbs?"
"Well," says the doctor, "we did have to give you a new bionic stomach."
"Will that give me any superpowers?"
"Probably not."

[mkennedy]

> Ask the doc if the bionic stomach will allow me to eat anything I want without getting sick. If so cheer "WooHoo!" If not lament "DOH!"

[CaptainD]

>Examine doctor
>Tickle moustache
>Tickle nurse
>Ask if they know who did it
>Say "By Gwapthar's Hammer, I will avenge... um... ME!"

[discordance]

> Ask the doc if the bionic stomach will allow me to eat anything I want

"Will the bionic stomach allow me to eat anything I want?" you ask.
"In theory, you could already eat anything you want," says the doctor, "as long as you could get it past your lips. The bionic stomach is slightly more resilient to bullets, but we still don't recommend eating poison or anything."
"So, no?"
"Not really."

> lament "DOH!"

"DOH!" you lament.

>Examine doctor

A portly fellow with a reassuring medical aspect. Receding grey hairline, slightly sunken eyes, fatherly smile on lips. He's not wearing a stethoscope around his neck, which completely shatters all your mental images of doctors.

>Tickle moustache

You can't reach the doc's moustache, so you tickle the bare spot on your lip where a moustache would be, and reminisce about that one time you grew one in order to infiltrate the Secret Society of the Moustached Men. Those were the days!

>Tickle nurse

You have a feeling she would not react favourably.

>Ask if they know who did it

"One more thing before I get back to work on this case," you say, sitting up and swinging your legs onto the floor. "Do you know who shot me?"
The doctor glances at the nurse, who shrugs.
"No idea," he says. "Our job is pretty much just pulling the bullet out."

>Say "By Gwapthar's Hammer, I will avenge... um... ME!"

"It doesn't matter," you say, as the dramatic musical score swells behind you. "I'll find him, whoever he is. And I will have my revenge."

A short time later, you're standing at the bus stop outside the hospital. The bus swoops in and you climb aboard.

Your first thought was to return to your apartment, but now that you're in transit, you wonder if it might be a good idea to stop by the station first. Paisley would probably want you to check in.

[mkennedy]

> Wince painfully and think ,"Maybe I ought to start carrying a gun, Or at least wear a bullet proof vest".

> Take bus to office and enter flamboyantly demanding to be brought fully up to speed on all the latest happenings in the case.