Best chat up lines

[Pumaman]

So, the other day we were in the pub and my friend was approached by a random bloke who says:

"You see my friend over there?" (points, other guy smiles and winks) "Well, his is 7 inches."

and it got me wondering ... what are the best (by which I mean worst) chat-up lines that you've used, or had used on you? For me, I think it was a couple of years ago when a random girl blurted this out to me in a pub:

"My brother designs bridges for his job"

To this day I still can't work out why she thought that was in any way relevant.

So, what about you guys?

[Disco]

First?

Edit: yay OMG I'm first after a CJ post XD \o/


Anyways, regarding chat up lines I get, they have sadly been rather straighforward. A couple weeks ago I had a couple girls come up and tell me I'm cute, and ask to wear my hat, then fight over who gets to wear it, and ask who I think is the cutest -_-

Aside from that I haven't had many chat ups since high school, I don't often put myself in situations where it is common.

[Meowster]

I don't recall individual chatup lines as they're usually all so terrible. But I remember once, when I was texting my new boyfriend nicely, he suddenly cracked and told me I was "shit at flirting". Further investigation determined that I was so "shit at flirting" because I was being nice to him and not playing hard to get.

I thought that was kind of weird and stupid because I totally do not get off on people being an asshole to me. So it seemed like an alien concept to me - be a dick to people to make them want you more. Apparently though, it's a widely used tactic in the dating world...

Actually my current boyfriend, before we were dating, said "hubba hubba" to me once, and I found that really quite endearing because it was so crap. So that is the worst best chatup line I've ever heard. But I believe it happened during a conversation about bad chatup lines, so maybe it doesn't count...

[Tuomas]

"So, you must be busy, working here and all". So eventually I saw her like 20 times that night, but so did 300 other people.

"Hi girls, you got a light? I usually don't smoke, but my friend there does". An opener. Change subject already.

"So, which one of you is the one I've been looking for?" This got me some looks, and one asking something like; "Dunno, what does she look like?", so I described someone from out of my head, and they found one who was almost that and we went dancing. Then I got drunk and lost her.

Nothing really works. You just have to get them to realise you're talking to them, so asking a question is always a good. "You come here often?" is underrated. It always begins a conversation and is between two people. "So, where you from?", "Why aren't you drinking?", "Wanna dance?", "Hi, wanna dance?". These work, depending on the occasion. You don't want to dance with a girl you've never talked to because during swaying about in loud noise that we call music, you'll find it hard to talk to her, and you both get bored rather quickly. Also, don't offer to buy drinks at the barstand. Why? Because they'll mostly be like "sure, thank you, you're so sweet" and while dwelling in your proudness she walks back to her boyfriend. Wait, this was about chat-up lines... I brought it to oneliners in bar-flirting

[Evil]

I know many, but these are the ones my friends and I have been using lately.

"Do you Hūsker Dū?"

"Has anyone ever told you your eyes look like Space Crystals?"

"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

And this one, which is awful, I've never used, but want to so bad. What you do is you make eye contact with a girl, and then motion for you to come over using your index finger, like curling it or whatever. Then when she shows up, you say, "If I can make you come with 1 finger, but imagine what I could do with 10."

This is degrading to women. And to the male race.

[Esseb]

Worst one?

"I'm the creator of AGS"

I still made out with him though.

[Gord10]

I had read this from somewhere:
The writer was wearing a t-shirt, written "I love my girlfriend" while walking on a street. A boorish guy comes up and says "I love her, too. What's gonna happen? Heheh" and the writer says "It is so nice when people loves their mother".

Another thing:
-Your head smells!
-It is because I had put it inside your ass.

And about meeting a girl in a bar/café; I always find it rude to talk with strangers for sexual purposes. Once I heard a couple of girls talking about me (in a good way) when I was sitting in a cafe alone, maybe I could meet them but it could be rude.

[Radiant]

I don't really use such lines anyway, as they tend not to work. Perhaps they did work in the distant past, I wouldn't know, but contemporary girls have gotten wise to the fact that they're stupid cliches.

The worst I've heard in actual use was "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" That earned the guy a severe frown and nothing else.

[LimpingFish]

"Hello. Please don't scream."

Actually, I gave up trying to start conversations with women.

[Andail]

I remember once when I was at some sort of Halloween party at club, a bit out in the countryside. They had plenty of ultraviolet light going on, so everything was dark except that all white parts were glowing, well you know how it is. So the bartenders wore some sort of spooky makeup, mostly consisting of long white gooey stripes over their faces and heads, almost like toothpaste or something.
When I ordered my bear, a girl walked up to me and started talking about an episode of CSI she'd seen. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but I was anxious to see how well her pick up line would work on me. Eventually she came to the part where they'd investigate a corpse with ultraviolet light, to search for residues of bodily fluids...it was funny, she said, because the bartenders right in front of us looked just like that.
I thanked her for pointing that out and walked away.

[Nine Toes]

"Well, I'm here now.  What were your other two wishes?"

I've never actually used that, I just heard it in a movie.

[Radiant]

When I ordered my bear,

My, what an interesting drink you're having ;P

[ShadowWrath]

Speaking from my experience and what I've seen, chat-up lines just are never a good idea, and tend to make you look like a cheesy wanker. Unless you're really good looking, a girl is probably going to reject you instantly like you've been trying that line on every girl in the club (and you probably have  ). Girls respond a whole lot better to an innocent conversation starter & maybe a compliment on how they look. Take it from a guy who got lucky 2 nights ago, and has never used a pick up line  .

To back me up, here's a couple my sister have heard; "Your dad must be Osama, because you're the bomb"... "ever tripped over a tree? No? Then how about a root?" In every case, she's laughed in the guy's face and walked off instantly. I've seen plenty of other girls do it to guys as well.

[m0ds]

Worst one?

"I'm the creator of AGS"

I still made out with him though.

LOL  :

[monkey0506]

Well I've never used a pick up line with any amount of seriousness, and have never had one used on me at all. Though I have used:

"Excuse me, I've lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

I got a few numbers that way...but nothing ever came of that...not even as much as friendship...as a matter of fact I don't think I even followed up on some of them. But I digress.

[LGM]

I came up with one a few years ago. I've never used it, though.

"I seem to be at a loss of words. Could I borrow some of yours?"

[MillsJROSS]

I've always found this to work

"I'm <insert name here>...Adventunare!"

-MillsJROSS

[Evil]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[voh]

Never used chat up lines, really. Used to be too shy for them, and I considered them arrogant and generally stupid. Over the years, I've perfected timing and complaining about shitty music to an art, however, and this has given opportunities for romantic adventures more than I can remember.

You just have to realize when a girl's going to agree with you. It's a great opener. Just stand there and go 'uurrrgh, this isn't music, this is anti-music. If they play this over one speaker and play good music on the other, it's going to cancel each other out'. Jokes work. Relevant jokes work even better. Relevant and mostly generic jokes (which most people at a given place will get) work best.

Basically, create a situation where you've got something to talk about from the get-go. The where are you froms and do you come here oftens usually follow naturally

Best chat up line used on me in the past few months was "If I offer you a beer, is your girlfriend going to be jealous?" at which I of course responded "If you offer me a beer, I can guarantee you I don't have one." and the evening was good

[ShadowWrath]

Never used chat up lines, really. Used to be too shy for them, and I considered them arrogant and generally stupid.

Good to see we agree completely on that one.

Best chat up line used on me in the past few months was "If I offer you a beer, is your girlfriend going to be jealous?" at which I of course responded "If you offer me a beer, I can guarantee you I don't have one." and the evening was good

Great response haha, you earned that beer lol. Girls love a funny guy.

Here's a couple more a friend told me she and her friends have heard: "Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes." And one that isn't as poxy: "I was trying to think of a pick-up line, but you've left me speechless".