Bet you didn't see THIS coming....

[edmundito]

P, When I read your reply I thought of it as your parents are giving you this book because maybe they think that you're insecure about your sexual preference, and they want to help. I wouldn't take it too seriously myself.

Let me call them! but you know, I can only type in English. Everything else that comes out of my mouth is monkey jibberish. 

[Wormsie]

It's interesting how in a situation like this the gay kids are the ones with enornmous amounts of patience... and hope... and understanding.

Ohhh let ME talk to your parents on the phone, let ME do it! I swear to god they'll love me! Oh god let ME do it! I love talking to parents!

Will you call my parents? I'd be weird enough to actually let you do it.

[Meowster]

Yes.

[Peter Thomas]

Ah, nearly wet myself reading these

They really put a smile on my face!

I thought a lot about what I wanted to say to them last night, and pretty much figured it out. Now I just have to find the right time to bring it up. Probably when they ask me "so have you finished that book yet?"

I know they're doing it out of love etc - I really do get that. But it's still hard. It'd be great if they all just got one massive burst of amnesia and i was able to say something like "Oh, hi. I'm you're son. And I'm gay. And you love it."

[Meowster]

You know what? Life is full of shit. Absolutely full of it. Which is why you have to make fun of it. If I found out I had AIDs, I would try to turn it in to a funny story. Because the great thing about stuff like that is, you can say the most awful, awful, wicked stuff, and people laugh because you're being funny, but then they feel horrible that they laughed because you also are suffering. So you can get them to do pretty much anything you want for you, after that.

I mean, any time anything horrible happens to me, I make a funny story out of it. I nearly died in a car crash once, quite recently, and when I told people they just laughed at me. Oh, one or two people said, "I hope you are okay". Polite people. But most people thought it was hilarious. And then I would start crying and they'd feel awful. Except for everybody at Idle Forums, they just laughed. Fuckers!

Or, for a lesser example; http://timisgod.mixnmojo.com <-- the latest update there. I didn't like my Dad telling me about Gene Wilder having sex. I don't like my Dad. But then when people say, "Ha ha, Gene Wilder having sex, that's great!" I start crying and then they feel bad. You see? You see the genius in that? They thought I was being funny, and then I start crying, and they think they must be wicked, evil people that enjoy the suffering of others. Which is true, anyway.

So, even in the incredibly unlikely event that you do have it, think of it as something like this:

Peter: While I was at the Doctor, an old lady fell over and smashed her face on the ground, it was hilarious!
Everybody: Ha ha ha ha!
Peter: Jesus Christ, I have AIDs, you fuckers![/list]

Similarly, since you don't have AIDs (or so your parents told me over the phone earlier on), the conversation could also work like this:

Peter: I got my test results back today. I don't have AID's!
Everybody: Hurray!
Peter: But while I was in the waiting room an old lady fell over and smashed her face on the ground, you fuckers![/list]

[Peter Thomas]

Yufster, would you marry me? I think I love you. Well - more accurately your ability to get people to do things for you, but there's not THAT much difference...

And I'll feed you twice a week.

[Meowster]

Alright, but I think I'd better talk this over with your parents first.

[edmundito]

Cool, then everyone is happy... forum people getting married, forum people calling parents... it's all good.

Also, Yuf, why do you write "AIDs"? According to the wiki, AIDS is Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome or Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It's not plural for anything... 

[Las Naranjas]

My cat had AIDS and died. It caught FIV somehow.

Technically it drowned. It coughed up it's guts and bled into it's lungs.

poor Fluffy.

[Snarky]

Jumping into this thread at page 21 is maybe a bit late, but I reckon it's always good time for a few words of support.

Peter, congratulations on coming to terms with who you are. That's really great. I'm sorry to hear about the problems and lack of acceptance you are facing. It seems like a completely different world from what I know, and I'm shocked and horrified whenever I hear stories like this.

I feel confident about one thing: tolerance is on the march. Things will get easier for you in time. Blatant discrimination will be illegal, and the fear and the hate will start to retreat. A righteous cause will, in the end, prevail.

And good luck on that HIV test, man.


[/offtopic]Andail's comment pages back made me think of a friend of mine who came out back in college. When he was drunk he would hit on me (jokingly, but you know...). That made me uncomfortable, as I'm straight. Then he stopped doing it. That made me feel bad about myself. People are very, very inconsistent.

[Peter Thomas]

Las, I have no idea if the first part of your post is serious or not, given the last three sentences... I know hiv positive chimps can't get aids, so I assume the same is true for other animals...

And Snarky, people ARE very inconsistent. I remember in my final years of high-school when a girl had a crush on me, I was kinda put-off and very, very spooked. I thought "No way is ANYTHING going to happen with her..." and then when she lost interest, I was put off again, thinking "Hey - why did she lose interest? That's not fair! She's meant to have a crush on me!"

Oh, and Yuf, I'll pm you my number if you're really interested, complete with my parents full names, list of medications taken (if any), current moods and social standing. Just remember - when you talk to them - DON'T have an accent; DON'T have original ideas or opinions, and DON'T DON'T DON'T use the words "You", "Are" and "Wrong" in the same sentence. Ever.

Other than that - I think you should get a long with them fine

[Pelican]

Didn't want to jump into any of the debates going on, as I'm still at odds with some of my particularly religious mates, because my best friend's gay. I mean, they're still friends with me, they just don't approve of my company. Anyhooo...

Good luck, especially with the test. I'm not a particularly devout Christian, but God loves us for who we are. Something to remember when things get difficult. And remember, your parents love you, no matter what (something I'm only beginning to appreciate myself).

[Blackthorne]

I don't know about the whole "parents loving you" thingee.  My Dad is still pissed that he had to donate a kidney to me.

And Yufster is right - if something bad happens to you, make it funny.  Don't take everything so damn seriously.  You'll never get out of life alive.... I make light of the fact that I had to have a kidney transplant everyday, because, well, I have three kidney's for fuck's sake!  Betcha didn't KNOW they don't take out the old ones, they just stuff a new one in ya behind your hip bone!  Weird, eh?  Everyone calls me triple kidney and we all laugh.  Why?  Because, there's no sense in feeling all self-righteous all the time.

Bt

[Peter Thomas]

They don't remove the kidney? That's cool. I'd brag about that.

I suppose I could brag about aids too, at least to the right people... I suppose. I tried it on my ex-girlfriend, and she was all like "agh! You freaked the hell out of me! Don't EVER do that again! That's not funny!". I asked if she wanted to donate money to me, for being so heartless. She said "no".

After I explained why I did it she calmed down, and had a bit of a chuckle. A bit... But I wouldn't half mind being self-righteous all the time. It's one hell of a feeling... And you're all "I have aids and I'M STILL BETER THAN YOU! PWNED!" I guess...

[Peter Thomas]

Okay - so I ended up having the HIV test done early this morning. I should get results in 1-2 weeks...

And they gave me a lollipop for being so "brave". I was too scared shitless to really argue...

[Meowster]

Nice Timing, too.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=14&u=/ap/20050220/ap_on_he_me/aids_list_e_mail

[Peter Thomas]

Cont, you are the most INSENSITVE person on the face of this earth! You should feel SOOO guilty for putting me through this emotional crap! In fact, you should feel SO guilty for all of that, that you'll be giving me all your money and monetary belongings.

(How'd I go on the 'guilt' thing?)

[MillsJROSS]

Not nearly Jewish enough.

-MillsJROSS

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

This thread is still here? I'd have thought it'd be in Popular by now.

[Peter Thomas]

Oh no... Something isn't popular until it reaches at least 22 pages...