I hate what I do

[voh]

Raiowaves has some point. Try to forget to use computer for a while, maybe it helps. Grab a pencil and draw. Or anything else you like doing.

Amen! I felt like you did, InC, and I didn't know what the hell was causing it, nor did I know how to break it. I wanted to write but couldn't. I wanted to work on my games, but couldn't. I wanted to do so many things, and I didn't do any of them. Why? I have no idea.

Then I went to Paris for three weeks, alone. I wanted to take my laptop with me to write, but I found it too risky, what if it got damaged or stolen? So I opted to take a notebook along and simply write in it the old-fashioned way.

Long story cut short, I got back 2 months ago, and I've been writing by hand ever since. I go to a bar, or sit outside and write. I get to write down my emotions and thoughts (the journal side of the notebook, heh) and when I feel creative I can simply round off what I'm writing and switch over to Storytime! and write.

Instead of forcing myself to work on something I opted to just let it rest until it came spontaneously. Amazingly enough, it worked.

But hey, that's just me. You're an entirely different cookie 

[vict0r]

What about entheogens? A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.

[voh]

Yeah, that's a good suggestion! DO DRUGS!

:'(

[vict0r]

What? Why do you put "drugs" in one booth? It was meant as a suggestion for something that could really jump-start his inspiration, as a psilocybin or lysergic acid can be extremely healthy for your creative self.

But I don't want to turn this into a drug discussion. If InC thinks my ideas ridiculous, then just let it sliiide.

[ildu]

If you can't be creative without taking drugs, maybe you should just give up.

[Andail]

If you can't be creative without taking drugs, maybe you should just give up.

If everybody had followed that advice, we would have missed out on a lot of great creative works thorughout the ages....sadly.

[mchammer]

A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.

Pleasant to find such open mindness from ags community. 

If you can't be creative without taking drugs, maybe you should just give up.

'Drug' as a word is quite misleading, that's why i would put drugs and certain natural herbs in completely different categories.

[Nikolas]

Are entheogens addictive? Cause if not, then I wouldn't describe them as drugs, in fact I would very much like to have a try (while the kids are away and I'm looked after, mind you).

[vict0r]

Most aren't, no. Unless you talk about the mental addiction and wanting the feeling the drug gives you, which can come from eating oranges or something. But no, fungi with psilocybin for example, are not physically addictive! And they are extremely cheap and easy to grow yourself. A couple of weeks of growing them in some closet or drawer could give you a years supply of 'shrooms'. No need to get into any kind of drugging enviroment. Fungi spores are legal, so it's no problems ordering spore syringes online.

Erowid is a very good and reliable information source on how different drugs work.
Ildu and voh: Please dont take this in any offending manner. Have you ever asked yourself; What do I really know about this 'drug'? Maybe some research on what different substances actually do could help you broaden your view on this subject!

EDIT: Oooh! And stay the hell away from Salvia! A good trip on shrooms can be like elves going into your brain and giving you a brain massage over a span of 4-8 hours, while a Salvia trip is like an ogre ripping open your head and tossing the damn thing around the room in 10 minutes..

[InCreator]

No drugs, sorry.
Even this creative blockade caused me drinking way too much lately.

2. stop being a perfectionist(this means a lot coming from me). you'll never be a 100% satisfied with what you do. Go for 90%.

How... how did you know?  :o

Tallinn doesn't have places to ride? Omg, at that point, i wish I lived in Tallinn because there are tons of good places to ride your bike, like Pirita forest for example. And if you are such a wuss that you forget your bike somewhere for the junkie to take it, then you don't deserve anything, really.  Go get yourself a bike. Biking is fun!

It's not about being wuss. I simply live in one of the most junkie/ethnic russian/crime-infested part of the city. But I don't have anywhere to keep my bike anyway, living in a flat right now. And planning a car in near future, bike would be a waste of money.

But answer to the question,
I find help to boredom from low-budget travelling. Seeing different countries, people and cultures, and sleeping in tent at citypark,in sleeping bag at railway stations or in a forest middle-of-nowhere, eating cheapest but healthy food, jogging at places never seen before. After spending a month in such journey i feel like a completely new person.

Well this sounds fun. Though, it still needs a budget, and TIME. Time is what I don't have, going to school, work, and driving courses at same time. Only time I have is night hours, and the whole problem is that I cannot fill them productively anymore. During the time I cannot create, I'm doing things for myself and her, to live better, to achieve stuff, to have money, to provide, etc. Create-hours are for whole world, not my own little lifecycle.

If you can, i'd like you to answer 2 questions to yourself (not on this forum) as honestly as you can:
1) What purpose does this proving yourself have? (maybe in relation to your future)

I can answer them even on this forum, because I have made peace with myself (on this particular topic) long ago:

Cancelling highschool, led by 3-year alcoholism and three failed choices in further education led me into really miserable state where nobody, even not myself had any trust in my future. Nor did it provide any excuse for electric bill sitting at computer generated, while everything went downwards. There was a time when I had no job, didn't study or do anything useful, thus being major disappointment to my parents and everyone else. Eh, my mother even thought I'm doing drugs because of me being locked into my room most of the time. If these years had ANY use, it's probably the expression on the face of a psychiatrist at recruiting offices of army. "Go and live your life, I won't sign you up" she said, after hearing whole story in detail. I didn't want to go anyway, but never thought this could release me so easily.

Creativity is only thing that kept me still looking into future with slight hope. And it prevailed. I picked up education, got a job, found true love, etc. It's what makes my engine running.

I don't want to be a simple consumer. I want to make something by myself for others to consume. Maybe I'm too radical about this, but I've accused other people for only consuming and not doing anything to make more or new or better. I have some weird disgust in people who are simply a tiny parts of the machine and live from start to end without making any change in this world. Living only to survive and fulfill basic needs or their own.

2) If the way you are expressing your creativity now doesn't fulfill this purpose, how else do you think you could fulfill it?

But it should. I would really love to become a graphics designer or something along this path. But none of my creations haven't generated a single penny of real, cold cash yet, so it's quite difficult to hold continuous trust in things and people supporting me. Especially after mentioned downfall-years. Maybe I'm simply too perfectionist to compile a portfolio and step into real world.

It all sounds like poor bohemian artist/writer case, thinking about it now...   

I've tried to reduce my free time into a pencil, eraser and paper, but this doesn't last even 30 minutes.

3. stop whining and get yourself together soldier!

That's what I'm telling myself, yes

1. don't work on dozens of projects at once. pick one and focus all your energy on it.

An advice I definetly won't ignore. I'm dedicating whole October to it. Let's see if I actually get Henri into beta stage?
Something has to work!!!

Thanks guys, so far.

[radiowaves]

What about entheogens? A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.

Hmm, he could also chop one of his arms off, so he gets at least some feeling what ought to be source of inspiration. And heck he'd still have the other arm, a moment of happiness. Oh the joy!

[Nacho]

psilocybin or lysergic acid can be extremely healthy for your creative self.

But I don't want to turn this into a drug discussion. If InC thinks my ideas ridiculous, then just let it sliiide.

So, you recommend drugs, but ain' t you open to discuss if they are good or not?

Yes, a lysergic trip can be a funny and creative experience... or a terrible, terrifying and horrible  paranoid experience, and dangerous (As shown by people who thought was able to stop a train, or fly, while on a trip...) And don' t tell me that bad trips are an urban legend, because I [bold]know[/bold] they are real.

You haven't experienced one? Lucky you! Congrats! It should be good to you to stop taking that before the first one, but if you want to go on... come back to this very thread and post if it was so funny as you thought.

[vict0r]

So, you recommend drugs, but ain' t you open to discuss if they are good or not?

Nono! I just thought we'd let his thread be and not clog it with ot.

You haven't experienced one?

Yes actually, I have. It was horrible and devastating. Probably the worst time of my whole life. And I've learned only to do stuff like this in a controlled and safe enviroment and to really do research on stuff before you use it!

What about entheogens? A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.

Hmm, he could also chop one of his arms off, so he gets at least some feeling what ought to be source of inspiration. And heck he'd still have the other arm, a moment of happiness. Oh the joy!

Please, save it. If you don't know what the hell you are talking about just shut up!

I'm open for discussion and opinions of course, but not when people say mindless things like that.

[Nacho]

Aaaah! So, you must agree with me that before recommending something you should describe the two sides of the coin, not only the funny one. 

[vict0r]

Yes, of course! Doing anything else would be irresponsible and idiotic in my opinion. But shrooms are usually a very safe drug if you know what you are doing and are using a tripsitter

[Nacho]

Never tasted those... But I am "clean" now... ^_^

[space boy]

2. stop being a perfectionist(this means a lot coming from me). you'll never be a 100% satisfied with what you do. Go for 90%.

How... how did you know?  :o

It was kind of apparent from your post.

[ildu]

Ildu and voh: Please dont take this in any offending manner. Have you ever asked yourself; What do I really know about this 'drug'? Maybe some research on what different substances actually do could help you broaden your view on this subject!

I didn't mean drug as something addictive, more as any substance that the body reacts to chemically. Meaning, if you have to rely on a substance to be able to do what you like, I would urge you to seriously reconsider your position. I don't mind the ooh-psychedelic aspect. Get high if you want - I have nothing against that. I'm just opposed to what I would call 'cheating', if in fact it even works. Kinda like steroids in major league baseball.

Just to clarify, I'm not saying the mentioned substances make you any more creative or focused, mainly because I don't know anything about them. I'm just saying that maybe you're in the wrong game if you have to take external substances to be able to do something that should, in most cases, come naturally.

[voh]

Ildu and voh: Please dont take this in any offending manner. Have you ever asked yourself; What do I really know about this 'drug'? Maybe some research on what different substances actually do could help you broaden your view on this subject!

Friends of mine have used shrooms and I've seen enough (I was a tripsitter once) to know I'm not going near the stuff. I'm sure it can be a good thing, but I've seen somebody go through a bad trip and I'd never risk that happening.

Guy's still not back to his old self.

[Radiant]

If people really want drugs I'd recommend chocolate. You'd be surprised how much it helps...