Just blew in...

Eggie · Mon 09/08/2004 17:44:23

I'm back! And I brought Sears Tower merchandise for everyone!!

America was amazing. Everything is so big, the buildings, the space, the helpings of food...
There were...were...DOUGHNUTS!!

Okay, okay. We flew to illinois with Air India, complete with in flight entertainment. If there's anyone here from India then I'd like to ask...are all your sitcoms that naf? Because those were some naf sitcoms, I didn't even know the language, I could still tell they were naf.

So, anyway. The first week as spent with cousins in Naperville, including little squishy cousins with impressionable minds who I turned into raving Zim fanatics, then every day we'd drive out to Chicago say 'Wow' then drive back at about 11PM.

Yay!

The second week was spent in this little cottage...thing...well, I say cottage. It felt a bit like a trailer without the wheels but it was nice enough. Anyway it was right next to this beach, wal a few metres and you could swuim in lake Michigen. I've never liked beaches but thyis was because all the beaches I've been to have salty sea water, yo ho. This was a lake, a freakkin' big lake.

Also, it was close to Wal Mart. Wal Mart is where Sainsburys shoppers who've sinned go when they die.

Okay, now it's time for...

Reasons by America is better than England
1) People are more friendly, if someone asked me if I was lost in London I'd probably run. In Chicago (murder capital of America apparently) people justy want to help

2) Everything is bigger and prettier, in england everything is bunched up and within walking distance. America has so much space it doesn't know what to do with it all.

3) There's a certain philosphy the Americans have on life which I greatly respect; 'Everything can taste better with frosting'

4) America has Hot Topic, which, for those of you that don't know, is a branch of GAP for people who hate GAP. It's amazing!

5) America has the word 'pacifier' and the word 'band-aid'. Pacifier sounds like some of sort of alien weapon
"Glorgo! The baby is crying again!"
"ACTIVATE THE PACIFIER!!"
Zap Zap POw Ka-FlAn!

6) Churros.

Reasons why England is better than America
1) No Arby's

2) Again, no Arby's

EDIT: Wow, I got pretty erractic with my typing nearer the end. BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO FIX IT!!! BWAHAHA! CHURRO'S FOR ALL!

Mephistophilis · Mon 09/08/2004 17:51:54

Bah! America Sucks! But then again I think most places suck if they aren't Scotland, what can I say I'm a Patriot.

JBiker51 · Mon 09/08/2004 17:54:35

There are too Arby's in USA! I know because I live there! Well, I've never been to one but I always see the ads for Arby's. Glad to see you like America! Another good point that you forgot to mention is that everything costs less around here. Well, I hope you want to come back in the future! Maybe you should try flying to America and taking a cruise there on the Norwegian Dawn! That cruise ship is tight! Anyways, cheers!
-JBiker51
[Edit]
Well, I think that Scotland is for haggis eaters! And don't make fun of the red white and blue! Anyways, what is haggis???

Privateer Puddin' · Mon 09/08/2004 18:06:20

He wasn't saying there isn't any in the US, he was saying England is better than America because we don't have any

Eggie · Mon 09/08/2004 18:09:54

Yes. Have you ever eaten an Arby's?
*vomits

Hollister Man · Mon 09/08/2004 18:12:08

Arbys is the best! You blaspheme Arbys? lol

SSH · Mon 09/08/2004 18:18:04

Eggie, you can get churros in Spain, where they invented them. My wife loves "Chocolate con churros". I don't like them myself... basically they're just deep-fried pastry with frosting. Now, deep-fried Mars bars... that's another matter

Mephistophilis · Mon 09/08/2004 18:25:37

Jbiker Which Red, White and Blue? Britain, France, Porto Rico, Australia, New Zealand, Netherlands....
Haggis is a Mammal about the size of a Small cat except it's Pig-like in proportion and spiny.
I mean what did America give the World?

veryweirdguy · Mon 09/08/2004 18:26:06

Quote from: JBiker51 on Mon 09/08/2004 17:54:35
Well, I think that Scotland is for haggis eaters! And don't make fun of the red white and blue! Anyways, what is haggis???

This is haggis.

Anyway, we Scots prefer our deep fried Mars bars now....like SSH says....*

Eggie, glad to hear you had a good time in the ol' U.S. of A.

*note - I've never actually tried deep fried mars bar......or haggis for that matter......

EDIT - Mephofopolis, calm down a little. No need to get so angry when you did insult his country first ("Bah! America sucks!"). Most people tend to have a very stereotypical view of Scotland (we're a bunch of haggis eating, kilt wearing bagpipe playing people who live in very close quarters & everyone knows each other & we go to witch burnings....probably), & in most cases there's no point in trying to change it.

Wales on the other hand, now if THAT isn't a nation of sheep hugging, angry people....

Mephistophilis · Mon 09/08/2004 18:31:03

You had to ruin it didn't you!
Battered Haggis is so damn tasty! Shame on any Scot who hasn't eaten it! I've never tried Deep fried Mars Bar but I would if I had the Chance.

Haddas · Mon 09/08/2004 18:43:37

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/Haddas/Other/SSHnHAGGIS.jpg

That's haggis! And it's another random stereotypial Scotsman in clan-outfit eating it! We all know scots are bare-arsed underneath, they've got dandruff on their shoes!

rtf · Mon 09/08/2004 18:50:21

Quote
3) There's a certain philosphy the Americans have on life which I greatly respect; 'Everything can taste better with frosting'

You get sick of it after a while.

I figured out the "frosting conspiracy" when I was 10. The feed it to us and feed it to us and then you lose your will to be different. There are people, though, who saw the inevitable ( and inedible) doom, and wen't off to start Hot TOpic. hehe, just kidding.

I stopped eating frosting when I looked at the lables and saw what's inside em.
You can't eat anything here anymore without getting Trans Fats and Hydrogenated Oils! And the stuff that tastes the best doesn't even have them.

I read someplace that Europe dosen't have them. Is that true?

Anyway. Glad to hear you had fun on your trip.

Mephistophilis · Mon 09/08/2004 19:14:38

Well we all know that the Finnish are.... are.... What is a Stereotypical Finlander like?

Darth Mandarb · Mon 09/08/2004 19:15:35

Welcome back!

It's refreshing to hear a non-American actually have something good to say about the place!

In a little funny side-note. I've actually been to Naperville. I have a friend who lives there. Well, actually she lives in Lysle, but we went into Naperville a lot (I have a World's Gym T-shirt from the Worlds Gym I worked out in while I was there!)

Glad you had fun!

Oh ... and against my better judgement, I actually like Arbys ** dm ducks!! **

JBiker51 · Mon 09/08/2004 19:17:20

There is a conspiracy that I made up that haggis has a brainwashing liquid inside of it that makes you believe that Scotland is the best and you are a true Scotland. If everyone starts eating haggis, than the US will be overridden by brainwashed zombies who think they are Scotts! Oh, and I forgot to mention that the virus from the Resident Evil game would be in the haggis. So, what's the lesson for today, kids? Don't eat the organs of helpless animals, but instead eat things like hamburgers, which are made from the MEAT of helpless animals!
-JBiker51
[Edit] We could probably spend the rest of our forum-posting time talking about brainwashing with organs, conspiracies that telemarketers are actually robots, and that kinda stuff. And I would participate! And make it funny! Yay!

Evil · Mon 09/08/2004 19:20:42

Bah, you havent lived America until you eat a dozen deep fried Twinkies. I had 2 heart attacks and a stroke by the 7th one.

Mephistophilis · Mon 09/08/2004 19:27:27

Organs are meat you dumbass.
and Scotland is better than America. I mean we invented TV, Telephone, Grand Theft Auto and Countless other things! you invented (partially) the Nuke.

JBiker51 · Mon 09/08/2004 19:30:33

See the brainwashing haggis has already gotten to you! You're just a zombie typing all of this now! Oh, I mourn at your grave at Washington, D.C. the man who died from brainwashing and zombie turning haggis.

Mephistophilis · Mon 09/08/2004 19:37:50

Why would My grave be in Washington? I'm not American, I don't Live in America, I've never been to America and Damn I'm proud! At least I have a Brain to be washed, unlike the President of a Certains Country:

"Our enemies are Cunning and Resourceful, But so are we!
Our Enemies are constantly finding new ways to Harm our country, but so are we!"

MrColossal · Mon 09/08/2004 19:41:26

too bad the Scottish didn't invent the sense of humour...

since JBiker is joking around Meph...