Microsoft vs General Motors

[veryweirdguy]

This arrived in my e-mail the other day, I thought it was quite funny:

Microsoft vs GM

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by asingle "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
light.

7.The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

[n3tgraph]

Har har har snicker

I find it funny

[Raggit]

A somewhat immature perspective but anyway.  People who have computer problems usually have outdated computers so it isn't fair to lay all the blame on Bill Gate's doorstep.

[SSH]

If my buttered cat thread was locked, this joke is even older....

Anyone want to start a thread on the guys lost in a Helicopter asking for help at the MS Office?

Incidentally, Bill Gates never said that, nor General Motors.

EDIT: I first heard this in 3rd year of University, which makes it 1993 at the youngest. It has obviously been modified a bit over the years, but the ideas are the same.

This is the oldest proof I could find, from '96:
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8hreadm=19961121203300.PAA14834%40ladder01.news.aol.com&rnum=102&prev=/groups%3Fq%3Dcomputers%2Bgallon%2Bmiles%2Bgeneral%2Bmotors%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26oe%3Dutf-8%26scoring%3Dd%26start%3D100%26sa%3DN

[Matt Brown]

this has been posted in our computer science workroom for over a year now. its amusing, but indeed, untrue and a bit old.

[Paranoia]

We have a car that does that!…. but its French

Like raggit sez its not gate's fault, after all a
computer is only as intelligent as the person using it!

[Timosity]

I think most people have seen this before, but this bit is true to an extent

"If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

maybe not so cheap but still, much cheaper than what the colluding bastards sell them to us for now. The only problem is people are just willing to pay out of their arse,(it's a status thing to say how much you can afford) if only people took on these companies, they're just laughing at us all, whilst driving the fancy cars they get for free, even the car salesmen get to drive the cars as company cars.

[DGMacphee]

SSH: The buttered toast gag has been around even before computers.

In fact, I think it was around when cats and buttered toast were first invented.  

This post will stay as there has been some debate in the other forums about Microsoft.

But in future, it would be preferable if old jokes like this stayed in people's in-boxes.

What about some new material?

[veryweirdguy]

Sorry guys, I thought it was new...

At least, I'd never seen it before!

[Trapezoid]

You want new material? Here.

Bill Gates walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "Gimme a dozen bottles of hard liquor!"
The bartended looks at Bill for a moment. "Say, aren't you that Bill Gates fellow?"
"Why yes I am," Bill replies, "I own Microsoft and I'm the richest man in the world."
"That's incredible," says the bartender as he fetches the bottles of liquor. "Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I have a problem. I receive errors stating the setup is invalid or there are fatal errors when upgrading from Windows 98 or Windows Me. How do I fix this?"
Bill Gates thinks for a moment, then says, "This behavior can occur if Setup does not delete all of the files in the WinDir\System32\Catroot2 folder during removal of the earlier version of Windows. WinDir is the Windows installation folder. To work around this behavior, rename the %WinDir%\System32\Catroot2 folder either by using the Windows XP user interface or at a command prompt. For more information about how to rename folders by using the Windows XP user interface, click Start, click Help and Support, type renaming folders, press ENTER, and then click Change the name of a file or folder. To rename the %WinDir%\System32\Catroot2 folder at a command prompt, follow these steps: While you are in setup and while the error message is displayed on the screen, press SHIFT+F10 to start a command prompt. At the command prompt, type cd\windows\system32\, and then press ENTER. Type rename catroot2 catold, press ENTER, and then restart the computer. Try again to finish the upgrade. If you cannot start a command prompt in setup, boot from a Microsoft Windows 95, Microsoft Windows 98, or Microsoft Windows Millennium Edition boot disk and rename the %WinDir%\System32\Catroot2 folder, or boot from the Windows XP disc and rename the folder in Recovery Console."
"Wow, thank you so much," says the bartender, taking Bill's payment. "Well, it's been nice talking to you, but I'm curious. What do you need all this booze for?"
"Oh this?" Bill says. "It's part of my personal hooker's contract."