"Love" problems...

vict0r · Tue 14/08/2007 21:05:05

Argh... I don't know what the hell has gone into me.. This girl and I have been seeing eachother and "been together" (although not officially together) for maybe a two-month period. It's gone quite well, and for a small period I thought I had fallen in love, which is something very special for me.
But suddenly, I feel extremely frightened! I don't know why or what I'm frightened of, but whenever she does anything "special" for me (draw me something, send me some cute text message, etc.) I've sorta freaked out lately! $:-\$ I feel stressed and sweaty and very confused. Something that'll probably lead me into cutting communications with her, like logging of msn and such, but without knowing why!

What the hell is wrong with me?! I post this here, because this forums is like a family or something for me... I just logged out from msn now, because she sent me a drawing of a heart... $:-\$ I wanted to fucking answer her or say something nice to her, but I got stressed and logged out... I think I'm slightly extra stressed today since my brother left for the army this morning..

Again, what the hell is wrong with me?

Tuomas · Tue 14/08/2007 21:14:59

Quote from: vict0r on Tue 14/08/2007 21:05:05
I post this here, because this forums is like a family or something for me...

You and me both mate. And then you realise, most of the advice you'll be getting is from people who have no idea.

My guess would be, that either you are afraid of your own feelings, and when it comes too obvious, you don't know what to do, especially after such a short time. That, or deep down you first thought you were in love with her because she obviously is really fond of you. If you really like someone, you often tend to try and act towards her as she does to you, as in responding to her feelings like it was your duty. Then after a while you realise you're fooling yourself by doing what you really don't feel like doing. And that will be the time to take a ste back. One shouldn't try to be what he isn't.

Either way, I think what you really should do at this point was to talk to her, and be frank. If you can't do that, then it's really not love, or at least not as much as her is.

vict0r · Tue 14/08/2007 21:29:50

Well, I don't actually love her and I've never done so as this is extremely special for me. Thanks for the stuff Tuomas. You're probably onto something there.. The thing is that I've never been any good at love. I have alot of friends who are girls and I don't have any problems communicating with them on a friendly level. But as I said, I've never been any good at boyfriend/girlfriend stuff! This is probably the most serious relationship I've ever had and I don't think I want to ruin it just yet.. $:-\$ Fuck, I'm confused!

Stupot · Wed 15/08/2007 06:46:14

Consider yourself lucky that you've got someone like her drawing hearts for you and sending cute messages. I wish I had that

... Sounds like she really likes you, maybe even loves you.

Whether you love her or not, shutting her off MSN could be a bad idea... she might start thinking you don't care.

I know it's easier said than done but in this situation talking to her will probably be the best thing to do. And it's ten times better if you can talk to her face-to-face rather than online (believe me I've made that mistake).

If you really like her, then perhaps you should draw her some pictures or even make a game for her. But don't shut her out, she doesn't deserve it.

Good luck mate. Girls are a confusing race.

lo_res_man · Wed 15/08/2007 07:07:34

Ditto, I was living in a group home for a while, and there was this one young lady, well woman anyway. She was at the time new to the home so I was friendly the way I am with everyone else in the group home, kind,courteous and a good sounding board. Unfortunately she took this completely the wrong way and fell for me like a sack of potatoes. I consider my self somewhere in the middle between extravert and introvert leaning toward introvert. I get along well with others, quite talkative, but also need a lot of time to recharge. I also made it clear that my room is my space and no one enters my room without asking. Well she would hound me day and night wanting to talk, AFTER I just had a 1 hour COMPLETLY onesided conversation, ( her side not mine) and then when I would run up to my room in sheer terror and try to take a recharging time, she would barge in my room. And then when I finally left, she hounded me for my new telephone number and would go into peroxims of glee. Gods, if this is what woman are like, save me from woman! Plus she was rather, well not ugly just completely not my type.

vict0r · Wed 15/08/2007 12:45:21

Thanks people! I managed to smack myself in the head yesterday and talk to her, so I'm going to the movies with her today

I already talked to her yesterday about taking it slightly slower and she had no problems with it!

I knew yesterday that cutting communications with her was a bad idea. My logic was there all the time saying "What the hell are you doing, you stupid prick", but my body wouldn't listen at first..
Again, thanks! I seriously doubt she loves me though. That, I am yet not ready for. I have actually drawn her some pictures so when I think of it, I might the the source of that.. As for games, she's not the gaming type

Hudders · Wed 15/08/2007 13:21:53

Quote from: vict0r on Wed 15/08/2007 12:45:21
As for games, she's not the gaming type

You should work on that.

Believe me, it's easier if she is. $:-\$

vict0r · Wed 15/08/2007 13:37:53

What? How?

TerranRich · Wed 15/08/2007 19:51:31

vict0r, good job on not messing up your chances with the girl.

Never be afraid of love. It's what makes life worth living. Any heartache or heartbreak you may experience is more than worth it, thanks to the good feelings you'll most likely experience.

Redwall · Wed 15/08/2007 21:09:02

Better to have loved and lost...?

vict0r · Wed 15/08/2007 22:20:34

Quote from: TerranRich on Wed 15/08/2007 19:51:31
vict0r, good job on not messing up your chances with the girl.

Never be afraid of love. It's what makes life worth living. Any heartache or heartbreak you may experience is more than worth it, thanks to the good feelings you'll most likely experience.

Haha! It should never have been a problem..

Thanks alot Terran. I think my stress and confusion were triggered by many things, such as little sleep and my brother going away.

I went to the movies with her today and got to talk to her. I told her I wanted to take it a little slower and she took it surprisingly well.

I probably just overreacted..

Thanks for all comforting! Again, this forum is like a family for me after staying so long here.