only in America! "stella awards"

woodz · Fri 18/08/2006 13:34:05

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
Here are this year's winners:

7th Place:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

6th Place:
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place:
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

voh · Fri 18/08/2006 13:53:15

It's unbelievable that these people actually get their claims granted. The juries, which are made up of 'random' American citizens, really are fucking retarded. What does this say about the general American public?

SSH · Fri 18/08/2006 13:53:49

Not sure about the others, but (a) This list has been around since at least 2004 and (b) That 1st place one is an Urban Myth.

voh · Fri 18/08/2006 13:59:42

Okay, in response to that. Add IF to some of my statements, implying that IF it were true, what does it say about the general population of America

woodz · Fri 18/08/2006 14:08:20

hats off to SSH it is fabricated.. looked good tho!
http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html.. you can find the "real ones" on the site..
i should do research first :

voh · Fri 18/08/2006 14:17:27

In that case I retract my statements

It's been a long week, my brain is dysfunctional

cjhrules · Fri 18/08/2006 14:43:35

But the Stella case is not fabricated, right?

Fuzzpilz · Fri 18/08/2006 14:58:31

No, but it was not quite as frivolous as commonly believed.

Darth Mandarb · Fri 18/08/2006 16:19:12

It's been my experience that it's not just "america" but the entire world that is capable of such stupidity. America just has a laughable justice system which then allows these stupid people to find greedy capitilist pig lawyers who can exploit said laughable justice system to make money.

I am sometimes just floored by the stupidity ...

After hurrican Wilma last year we borrowed a neighbor's chainsaw to cut apart some trees that had been felled by the storm. There is actually a warning label ON THE CHAINSAW that says, "do not grab chain while in motion".

That means that at some point ... some dip-shit actually did, and then sued the chainsaw company because there was no warning about it.

Were I the judge in that case I would have said to the guy, "Are you a fuckin' moron? You should pay THEM for YOUR stupidity you dumb shit! Get out of my courtroom!!" and laughed as I slammed the gavel down.

pslocum · Fri 18/08/2006 18:27:09

EDIT: Nevermind. Apt to be misunderstood.

Las Naranjas · Sat 19/08/2006 06:48:52

Average non-Americans seem to be ready to believe that Americans are capable of any stupidity. What does this say about the average non-American?

Nikolas · Sat 19/08/2006 07:37:56

Well... It basically says that all the world is stupid and not only the Americans. It also says a lot about the media outside America, as well as inside, for I think that America is the country that gets 'air time' more than any other country, and somehow it seems easy (although dead wrong) to make assumptions and decide on something, although basically you don't have a clue

rharpe · Sun 20/08/2006 05:52:18

As Americans, we are made up of alot of non-Americans that come to live the 'American Dream'. What better way to make some quick cash... for the lawyers, of course. (Don't forget, there is a blurred line between lawyers and judges.)

Our government & legal system are corrupt, no questions in my mind. :'(

modgeulator · Sun 20/08/2006 07:13:59

Quote from: rharpe on Sun 20/08/2006 05:52:18
As Americans, we are made up of alot of non-Americans that come to live the 'American Dream'. What better way to make some quick cash... for the lawyers, of course. (Don't forget, there is a blurred line between lawyers and judges.)

Our government & legal system are corrupt, no questions in my mind.Ã,Â :'(

Are you implying that frivolous lawsuits are being made in America by non-American immigrants who have come to your country in order to live the "American Dream" (i.e. sue people?)

Las Naranjas · Sun 20/08/2006 08:53:36

hehe, I thought he meant that initially as well, but I really think he means that all Americans are migrants drawn by dreams of becoming wealthy, and litigation has become such a means.

rharpe · Sun 20/08/2006 18:52:26

Quote from: Las Naranjas on Sun 20/08/2006 08:53:36
hehe, I thought he meant that initially as well, but I really think he means that all Americans are migrants drawn by dreams of becoming wealthy, and litigation has become such a means.

Thank you for clarifying that for the rest. I should have put a break inbetween the two separate points. hehe

shitar · Sun 20/08/2006 19:29:56

In a communist country you would have been shot for being so stupid and useless to society and trying to steal money from your government.

HillBilly · Sun 20/08/2006 21:14:37

Quote from: shitarâ,,¢ on Sun 20/08/2006 19:29:56
In a communist country you would have been shot for being so stupid and useless to society and trying to steal money from your government.

Communism sounds great. Instead of taking care of a problem, you just shoot it.

Vlad · Mon 21/08/2006 01:15:47

Quote from: HillBilly on Sun 20/08/2006 21:14:37
Quote from: shitarâ,,¢ on Sun 20/08/2006 19:29:56
In a communist country you would have been shot for being so stupid and useless to society and trying to steal money from your government.

Communism sounds great. Instead of taking care of a problem, you just shoot it.

Nah, first you hire people to investigate the problem, then you interrogate it, torture it, send it to Syberia and then, if the problem remains unsolved, you shoot it and deny it had ever existed. And then you slap some anti-American posters on the walls, just for the hell of it.

Las Naranjas · Mon 21/08/2006 05:10:14

To Syberia, and break the will of the counter revolutionaries with effeminate robots that ask for your ticket.