Seducing a Teacher

[Cameron] · Fri 01/10/2004 02:26:41

Here you go FPCS i rogered so you can roger.

<Alec> roger google how to seduce a teacher
<Roger> 'how to seduce a teacher': http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/how_to/61519

Moox · Fri 01/10/2004 02:40:55

Damn, everyone knows the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, buy him some booze!

shbaz · Fri 01/10/2004 02:52:26

Oh, I think your standard courting practices should do, really.

First, you need to make it clear to everyone you know except him that you think he's the most awesome person on earth and you want to do violate him in every way. This includes making a website with his head photoshopped onto the statue of David and threatening/harrassing anyone who has ever met him or was liked by him. This is the point where he should be made aware of your website and your crushing admiration of him. Without giving him time to respond, you should slip into his bedroom while he's away, duct tape his cat to the ceiling, and be waiting in his bed wearing all of his clothes and if possible, chewing some of his discarded gum. Congratulations, he's yours.

Good luck! We're all rooting for you.

Darth Mandarb · Fri 01/10/2004 03:24:41

Seducing the man is the worst thing you can do to him!!!

I've been in the position before.Ã,Â When I was 23 I had a 17 year old that kept asking me out!Ã,Â Sure, she was smokin' hot and incredible, but I didn't feel like going to jail.Ã,Â (we went out on a date the night she turned 18, but that's neither here nor there)

But this guy ... he's your teacher for God's sake!Ã,Â I don't know how it works in your corner of the world, but in American school systems he'd be fired just for the flirting with a student.Ã,Â

Darth Mandarb's Advice (earned from bitter experience)
Momentary satisfaction is NEVER worth it if the long term consequences are bad.Ã,Â Ã,Â While you might come out of this with some satisfaction, it's his life/livelyhood you're potentially destroying.

Trust me on this, fantasize about it ... daydream if you will, but don't go through with it.Ã,Â In the long run it's better for you both.

Walk away ...

I say go for it.

DragonRose · Fri 01/10/2004 03:33:33

I would recommend writing "(insert your name here)+(insert teacher's name here)" inside a big heart on every black board in the school. Then you follow him home from school, playing love songs you wrote yourself on a stolen ukulele. Whenever any one else talks to him in your presence, tackle them and beat them to a pulp screaming "HE'S MINE, BITCH!" That always works for me...

...Not that I've ever done anything like that. Obviously. I'm a good girl.

Kinoko · Fri 01/10/2004 03:48:36

Don't forget the fact that a couple of years from now, you'll look back on this crush and go "ARGH!!!! How embarrasing. What was WRONG with me??". Everyone has crushes on a teacher at some point (perhaps) but if you take it any further than that, there's a 99% chance that the teacher will come to fear being near you. Ever had a kid several years younger than you have a crush on you? It's awful, and you don't want to hurt them or encourage them. It mostly just makes you feel uncomfortable, and if you're in the position of a teacher, it's worse because you have a good chance of being fired if the student tries it on too much.

If you get the 1% chance that the teacher responds in kind, you'll have sex for a bit, you'll be discovered (inevitable - absolutely inevitable), he'll get fired, you'll be expelled and you might even make it to the news which will make it very hard to get new friends at whatever school you have to go to next. Plus, you'll look back on it one day in the near future and regret how you ruined your school life and got taken advantage of by a sleaze. No matter how "in control" you think you are, in the end, it's a bad teacher/person taking advantage of a typical school girl crush.

Of course, if you want to go through with this, the best way is to act all maturey on him and put yourselves in positions where you can be alone together in the classroom. Talk to him like an equal while keeping up a fascade of cute ignorance and devilish sexuality. If he's a sleaze, he'll eventually take advantage of you in a passive way, convincing himself it's okay. You'll have a brief, tumoltuous relationship of sexual tension and hatred. You'll discover that he's with you because he's actually a loser that can't get women his own age. Ã,Â Then all that other awful stuff will happen.

I love the Indy idea though ^_^

Raggit · Fri 01/10/2004 04:02:48

I would just like to mention that if he is 25 and you're under 18 there is going to be a very large problem.

Moox · Fri 01/10/2004 04:14:34

In USA 16 is the age limit for...

[Cameron] · Fri 01/10/2004 04:32:29

... getting FREA-KAY!

Squinky · Fri 01/10/2004 05:20:54

I find it's always best to explain my feelings thru a short, yet dramatic puppet show involving spider-man action figures....

If that dosen't get him, he's obviously gay....

Shattered Sponge · Fri 01/10/2004 07:15:55

I keep telling you: just rape the guy!

It's as simple as:

1:

2:

And 3!

Meowster · Fri 01/10/2004 07:46:17

DISCLAIMER:

Um, guys, while I appreciate your concern and while my teacher is hot, I do not actually intend to seduce him.

It just seemed like a funny topic. But now you've gone and fucked it up with your advicingness.

Quote from: SpongeI keep telling you: just rape the guy!

Yeah, I considered that. The opportunity hasn't yet presented itself, but I'm going out Saturday Night so, if I meet him, I'll get him drunk and take advantage. If he's REALLY tough which, let's face it, he WON'T be... I'll slip some date rape and viagra into his drink.

This is going to be totally awesome!

PS Alec... that is screwed up... seriously. Especially the last two or three 'hints'..

[Cameron] · Fri 01/10/2004 08:11:58

It was Roger not me.

Andail · Fri 01/10/2004 11:08:20

I'm a teacher-to-be, and I'm 24 next month.
I can ignore and reject you just for practice, so you'll know what it's like

Edit: suddenly that tounge-smiley got a whole lot creepier

m0ds · Fri 01/10/2004 12:49:21

Good job the forums don't have that cat smilie, like MSN.

SSH · Fri 01/10/2004 13:03:08

Yufster, admit it... this thread is actually part of the Irish Education Board' s recruitment drive

edmundito · Fri 01/10/2004 21:39:22

Tell us the truth: does he look like Tim Schafer?!

Pumaman · Fri 01/10/2004 21:41:46

I wouldn't get your hopes up, if it's a young teacher he's probably more interested in the kids' mothers; if you want to seduce a teacher the best bet is to find a lonely one who's 40+

TerranRich · Fri 01/10/2004 21:50:25

That's always worked for me.

c.leksutin · Fri 01/10/2004 23:53:52

I'm gonna chime in with my voice of wisdome here, as I've been a teacher before and that ended in short order due to the very actions you're asking about. While this young lady was wholey unsuccessful in her attempts, it made me uncomfortable enough to resign my position. Any teacher worth their salt (in the US anyway) would turn you down flat, report what happened to to their superiors and steps would be taken to remove the juvinile from any of said techer's classes.

Most teachers have no interest in lossing their job, and risk jail time for statutory rape over sex.

I know your not serious, at least I hope your not, but to me it doesn't seem like a comical topic.

C.

Seducing a Teacher

m0ds