SPAM SPAM

[Atelier]

VERY URGENT - PLEASE READ - NOT A JOKE PASS THIS ON!

IF A PERSON CALLED SIMON ASHTON CONTACTS YOU THROUGH EMAIL DON'T OPEN THE MESSAGE. DELETE IT BECAUSE HE IS A HACKER!! 

TELL EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST   BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ON YOUR LIST ADDS HIM  THEN YOU WILL GET HIM ON YOUR LIST. HE WILL FIGURE OUT YOUR ID COMPUTER ADDRESS, SO COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE EVEN IF YOU DON'T CARE FOR THEM AND FAST BECAUSE IF HE HACKS THEIR EMAIL HE HACKS YOUR MAIL TOO!!!!!..... 

Anyone-using Internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on.  This information arrived this morning, Direct from both Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet. You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled  'Mail Server Report'

If you open either file, a message will appear on your screen saying:  'It is too late now, your life is no longer  beautiful.' 

Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC, 
And the person who o sent it to you will gain access to your  name, e-mail and password. 

This is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the anti virus software's are not capable of destroying it ... 

The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself  'life owner'.. 

PLEASE SEND A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, And ask them to
PASS IT ON IMMEDIATELY!

Take Care

Lol! Anybody with half a brain cell can tell you it's an IP not an ID, and if your account was "hacked" it's not going to affect your hard-drive. And what kind of lame-ass bad-ass name is "Life Owner" anyway?! Encrypted Wrath, Binary Butcher, Synapse Slayer, now those are some cool tech villain names!

Other things I've had are reams of Spanish which I translated and it's telling me to go to my nearest church straight away and repent for my sins. The funniest I had was some "Korean" girl proclaiming her undying love to me, and reassuring me it's not too late to be together.

I even get spam texts:

Hi, it's John-Paul from Window Wipers. Sorry to text late. I will be there tomorrow to clean windows. If you not in, can you leave gate unlocked. Thanks

Our records indicate you could be owed £3000 for the accident you had. Text CLAIM to claim. Text STOP to stop.

The way spam texts work is the senders set up "business" accounts which charge you £5 or something stupid to text back. Firstly, Window Wipers SUCKS. They have all the originality and intelligence of a sea monkey. Secondly, why are they "texting late" in the middle of the day. Thirdly, texting STOP is such an obvious trap when you've only received one text.

Spam's good for entertainment, but what makes me annoyed is that people actually fall for things so easily. If they didn't spam wouldn't exist. People only seem to take things at face value. I do feel sorry for older people who get taken advantage of with "you've won a £1000", but then again their age group doesn't have a high percentage of internet users and spamming through the letterbox is going the way of the dodo, as it's so much cheaper and easier to distribute things electronically. So in fifty years time I hope people will be more tech-savvy.

Does anybody else have any spam tales? (I mean, tales about spam, not tales of spam)

[LRH]

Around here there is a salesman that goes door to door offering what are apparently very low rates on electricity services. I was first curious about his legitimacy when he said he was "from the state" but then later flashed an ID which looked like a private company ID. He asked if he could see my electricity bill, I told him no. He asked if he could come inside. I said no. He kept being persistent, so I eventually had to shut the door in his face mid sentence. I felt bad doing it, but it was going nowhere fast. I looked up the name on his ID, apparently they call the electric company on your behalf and use the information (account number, name, address, etc.) to call your current provider and have you manually switched to their service. Sketchy.

EDIT: I know it isn't spam, but it is..SCAM. So it fits

[TomatoesInTheHead]

I once got this, which was not linked or anything, so you'd have to type the URL from the image:



I can't read anything of the non-english text, but "Emu Hatchery", seriously? I think this must be the worst targeted UCE with the least universally relevant topic I've had so far.
From which I guess it's actually a desperate Emu farmer trying to get any customers, and no virus on the site... (though I'd not recommend to try it out)

[Buckethead]

I once got a list of emails from a guy that appearently thought I was one of his friends or something. He kept sending me emails about how we were going to some place in the US to play ice hockey or something. A few of those emails even included invites to stay over at his uncles place our something as he said "Like we talked about..." It was all very odd. I can't imagian what he was marketing there.

[tzachs]

So in fifty years time I hope people will be more tech-savvy.

This is probably true, but that only means that the spam will become more sophisticated too...

[Khris]

I wouldn't be so sure of people being more tech-savvy. On average, sure, there's bound to be an increase, but there'll always be a huge populace of "facebook/email/iTunes users" and of course people who are, let's face it, plain idiots.

Looking at the sheer numbers of people who don't have any idea why the moon phases exist or why there's such a thing as a leap year, I'd say it's a sad fact that while knowledge increases, the percentage of knowledgeable people doesn't and never will.

[mode7]

I actually like these kind of hoaxes:
It's always about money they need to get out of the country and therefore they need your bank account. I kept this one because it is particlarly convoluted and it uses the expression "evil plans".

Dear Fund Beneficiary,

THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER.

I am delighted to contact you on a private note based on your contract/inheritance funds claim, which has been
programmed for transfer into your designated bank account through my department. I hereby apologize to you for the
delay in releasing these funds into your account, which was caused by the former Governor because of breach of
agreement between Prof. Chukwuma C. Soludo and your so called partners who introduced you into the business.
Your partners approached the former Governor Prof. Chukwuma C. Soludo that they want to present you as a
beneficiary of this fund as it was an OVER-INVOICING made when transferring contract/inheritance funds into various
bank accounts abroad. So after the negotiation, they unanimously agreed that they (your partners) would give Prof.
Chukwuma C. Soludo the sum of US$400,000.00 (CASH) on acceptance to assist them to transfer the fund into your
account.

When he accepted the offer, they forwarded all your banking particulars to him for onward transfer. Immediately he
made some fruitful effort on the business and demanded his US$400,000.00 as agreed. Your partners deviated from the
agreement and decided to go through the International Remittance Department at his back and make a change of some
vital documents in other to disappoint him and you also not knowing that the International remittance Department is
also under his control. Then he got the knowledge of their evil plans and proves their illicit efforts abortive.
That is why you may have to been pursing this payment, spending unnecessary funds to some fraudulent individuals
and impostors in Nigeria who claimed to be incharge to release your fund. Though they now parade themselves as
staffs and managements of various banks, some even claim to be a Barrister of different types and some also go as
far as claim staffs of the Central bank Of Nigeria; they are all deceiving them selves and will not be able to get
the fund out of the Central Bank for you.
I want to re-emphasis to you that the fund of which you are the rightful beneficiary as acclaimed, is still with
Central bank of Nigeria and under my control as the new Director of tested Computerization Foreign Transfer Unit of
Central Bank of Nigeria. Now with my whole heart I want to enter into real business with you on a sincere agreement
since your partners have disappointed you and the fund is still floating in your name waiting for a proper
documentation and claim.

1. On an agreement, I assure you that I will transfer the funds US$20 million into your account. (Twenty Million US
Dollars). That is the original sum, not previous as mentioned by your so called partners.
2. You will assure me of keeping my dealings with you to an utmost secrecy because of my position in the
government.
3. You will promise to give me 40% of the total fund as soon as the fund gets into your account with a written
promissory note signed by you.
4. I will assist you in making a proper documentation to make your claim genuine as a bonafide foreign beneficiary
to the said fund.
5. You are to Re-forward me your contact address,your passport for identification, phone and fax number, along with
an account where you would like the fund to be transferred, if possible a virgin account.

I am also aware that some fraudulent individuals have been impersonating this office to contact you and other
beneficiary as reported by the Central Bank of Nigeria security department.
I henceforth advice you to suspend any dealings from any group of person(s) either from the CBN or any other
financial institution /prostates in Nigeria or overseas that might be contacting you in this purpose and endeavor
to keep this information confidential until we finalize this transaction to avoid them using it as an advantage to
scam you again or even make you lose your money.

Also on no account must you contact these partners any more, this is for my own safety and for the security of the
funds. Because they will not get this fund and also on no account must you let them know of my contact with you.

Please reply this message urgently for further details.

Thanks for adhering to this instruction.
I await your favorable response.

God bless you.
DR (MRS) HOPE IWUJI
DORECTOR TESTED COMPUTERIZATION FOREIGN TRANSFER UNIT.
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN).

[Babar]

One of the funniest I ever got was this:

yeah finally
thanks a lot mate! you really saved my life, and I swear I wont exploit your system,
I also want a steady monthly income. I just registered and started 1 hour ago, so far so good, will let you know later..

cheers..


----- Original Message -----
From: "stepdaz" <piotrrapala@gmail.com>
To: "anthony"
Sent: Saturday, April 24, 2010 10:12 AM
Subject: Re: Re: yo mate


yo mate, ok I`ll give you my trick but if you give it someone else I`ll fuckin kill you
you know in roulette you can bet on blacks or reds. If you bet $1 on black and it goes black you win $1 but if it goes red you loose your $1.
but I found a way you can win everytime:

bet $1 on black if it goes black you win $1

now again bet $1 on black, if this time it goes red (or one of 2 green fields) bet $3 on black, if it goes red again bet $8 on black, if red again bet $20 on black, red again bet $52 on black (always multiple you previous lost bet around 2.5), if now is black you win $52 so you have $104 and you bet:

$1 + $3 + $8 + $20 + $52 = $84 and you won $52 + yours $52 = $104 So you just won $20

now when you won you start with $1 on blacks again etc etc. its always bound to go black eventually (it`s around 50/50 and you always bet around 2.5, I never had more then 7 reds/green in the raw and possibility to have 9 times the same color is like 1/milion) so that way you eventually always win. But there`s a catch: if you start winning too much (like $1000 a day) casino will finally notice something and they can ban
you. I was banned once on royal casino. So don`t be a greedy asshole and don`t win more then $300 a day and you can do it for years. And remember it`s not a "win 30k in one day" trick, it`s a way to get a steady income of around 5-8k bucks a month for a next couple of years tax free . I think bigger casinos know that trick so I only play on smaller ones, right now I play on gold vip casino: www.goldviptables.com for around
6 months, I win $100-$200 (max $300) a day and my account still works, I already made almost 45k in that casino and hope to make much much more. You just have to download casino games, register and you can start, you`ll find roulette there when you log in go to "specialty games". And don`t you dare talling about it anyone else, if too many people knows about it casinos will finally found a way to block that trick. If you have any questions just drop me a line here or on skype.

c ya


----- Original Message -----
From: "anthony"
To: "stepdaz"
Sent: Friday, April 23, 2010 3:22 PM
Subject: yo mate


please tell me when you will send your roulette trick?
You promised to send it few weeks ago

cheers

It seemed the whole thing was a convoluted plan/advertisement to get me to visit the link provided in the middle?

[Ali]

I know how to stop all these kind of scams. If you want to know just PM me your credit card details.

[Buckethead]

Ohh Ali I don't have a credit card.... How about I PM you every other personal details and data I have?

[Ali]

DEAR MR buckethead,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENQUIRY.

Please send me your every personal details and data you have so we can proceed.

I LOOK FORAWRD TO A PROFITABLE MUTUAL PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN US.

YOURS IN CHRIST,

Ali

[Darth Mandarb]

I actually have, lately, taken an interest in removing ALL spam from my mailbox.

I have a gmail 'spam' account that is something.spam(at)gmail.com (something is obviously something else, I just don't want to list it in here) which has filters on it that just delete anything that comes to somethingspam(at)gmail.com (without the . in the middle) because Spammers will remove the dots because they know people use them to filter their emails.  Anything that comes to something.spam(at)gmail.com gets FWD'd to my personal address and immediately labeled 'Non-Friends' and skips the inbox.  So if I'm 'out' and someplace asks for the email I refuse, if they insist (saying they need it) they get "blah dot spam at gmail dot com"... it's so fun to see the looks on their faces when I say it.

If I sign up for something online (or order from a website) I add +website before the @gmail.com so like; something.spam+thinkgeek@gmail.com ... in this way when I receive spam email that isn't from think geek but has the +thinkgeek in the address I know they sold my email address (I doubt think geek would do so, I just used it as an example).

The only problem is that these scum-bag low-life spammers know these tricks ... so if/when they see the +website or the dots in the address they can work around it.  However ... since putting this system in place my 'spam' label in my personal gmail inbox has gone from about 30/day to about 6-10/day ... so it is effective.

The only thing that still causes spam is that my friends/family still sign up for shit online and give out my personal email address in those 'recommend to friends'.  I have told them all time and time and time again to NEVER give out ANYbody's personal addresses but they still do it.  I am working on a fix to this as well but Google hasn't added the 'whitelist' feature to the gmail inbox.  Once they do that my plan will be complete!!

[zabnat]

I have a gmail 'spam' account that is something.spam(at)gmail.com (something is obviously something else, I just don't want to list it in here) which has filters on it that just delete anything that comes to somethingspam(at)gmail.com (without the . in the middle) because Spammers will remove the dots because they know people use them to filter their emails.  Anything that comes to something.spam(at)gmail.com gets FWD'd to my personal address and immediately labeled 'Non-Friends' and skips the inbox.  So if I'm 'out' and someplace asks for the email I refuse, if they insist (saying they need it) they get "blah dot spam at gmail dot com"... it's so fun to see the looks on their faces when I say it.

Just to be clear. Do spammers cleverly remove dots from all email addresses or just gmail ones? Because that was new information for me that gmail ignores all dots in the local part of the address.

[Darth Mandarb]

I'm not sure how other email providers handle the dots ...

I am not sure spammers would actually remove the dots though because some people might give out their address with dots and filter for addresses without the dots (to delete) but some people might do the opposite way (and a spammer wouldn't know which was which).  I suspect (what I would do were I scum-of-the-earth spammer) is they probably have some kind of script they run that will remove the dots, but also keep the original and just email them both.

With gmail there's no difference between; darth.mandarb@, darthmandarb@, or even d.a.r.t.h.m.a.n.d.a.r.b@ ... it's all the same.  Another trick you can filter on is @googlemail.com instead of @gmail.com

I have also basically blocked all spam/telemarketer calls to my phone as well using Google Voice.

I no longer give out my actual phone number.  I only give out my gVoice number.  When I give it out if I need to allow the person I'm giving it to to contact me I add them to my contact list (even if just temporarily).  If anybody calls the number that is not in my contact list they get a pre-recorded message saying, "this number is no longer in service" and it doesn't even ring my cell.  I have set up several filters on those people actually in my contact list as well (friends get one voicemail recording, colleagues another, businesses another, and so on).  The 'net result?  Nobody gets through to my phone that I don't want getting through

If you get a google voice number (which I recommend you do, it's free (for now) and is awesome and easy to setup/use!) just remember to add yourself to the do not call registry (not sure if that works outside the states or how bad telemarketing is outside the states).  I would think Google would have that by default, but it's opt-in only!

[Stupot]

I actually have, lately, taken an interest in removing ALL spam from my mailbox.

I have a gmail 'spam' account that is something.spam(at)gmail.com (something is obviously something else, I just don't want to list it in here) which has filters on it that just delete anything that comes to somethingspam(at)gmail.com (without the . in the middle) because Spammers will remove the dots because they know people use them to filter their emails.  Anything that comes to something.spam(at)gmail.com gets FWD'd to my personal address and immediately labeled 'Non-Friends' and skips the inbox.  So if I'm 'out' and someplace asks for the email I refuse, if they insist (saying they need it) they get "blah dot spam at gmail dot com"... it's so fun to see the looks on their faces when I say it.

If I sign up for something online (or order from a website) I add +website before the @gmail.com so like; something.spam+thinkgeek@gmail.com ... in this way when I receive spam email that isn't from think geek but has the +thinkgeek in the address I know they sold my email address (I doubt think geek would do so, I just used it as an example).

The only problem is that these scum-bag low-life spammers know these tricks ... so if/when they see the +website or the dots in the address they can work around it.  However ... since putting this system in place my 'spam' label in my personal gmail inbox has gone from about 30/day to about 6-10/day ... so it is effective.

The only thing that still causes spam is that my friends/family still sign up for shit online and give out my personal email address in those 'recommend to friends'.  I have told them all time and time and time again to NEVER give out ANYbody's personal addresses but they still do it.  I am working on a fix to this as well but Google hasn't added the 'whitelist' feature to the gmail inbox.  Once they do that my plan will be complete!!

That seems like an awful lot of effort... I've coped 15 or so years of email usage on this clever funtion called 'delete'.  Granted, my 12-year-old hotmail account is now drowning in spam, but these days I deliberately use that address as a dumping ground,  for signing up to stuff that I think will cause a lot of unwanted emails.  I've been using Gmail now for maybe 2 years?  And I think I could count on one hand how many peices of actual spam I have had in that time.

[kconan]

  I once received an e-mail for an obviously fake (in terms of the domain name, something like PayHal) PayPal site and out of curiosity I clicked on the link to their login screen, and noticed it was a pretty good fake outside of the domain name being different...and then I got a phone call and left the computer distracted.  I was back in front of my PC the next morning, a bit groggy and tired, and needed to login to PayPal and I came within a button press of giving those scamming bastards my username and password.  My finger hovered over the the mouse button for a second, and I remembered.

  Thats the closest I've come to being scammed.  As far as entertaining spam/scam attempts, none of the ones I've seen were even slightly chuckle-worthy.

[Darth Mandarb]

That seems like an awful lot of effort... I've coped 15 or so years of email usage on this clever funtion called 'delete'.  Granted, my 12-year-old hotmail account is now drowning in spam, but these days I deliberately use that address as a dumping ground,  for signing up to stuff that I think will cause a lot of unwanted emails.  I've been using Gmail now for maybe 2 years?  And I think I could count on one hand how many peices of actual spam I have had in that time.

It wasn't too much effort [for me] but I love tweaking, customizing, experimenting and testing ... so I can see why the effort is probably too much for most!

But you're right for the most part... Spam (to my personal address) rarely gets into my actual inbox (and I've had my gmail addy for going on 7 years now). However when my Spam folder has 150 messages in 3 or 4 days it still aggravates me (wish it didn't) so I took on the challenge to lower that number.  Which I have!

[TomatoesInTheHead]

I think about half the spam I get is not because someone sold or I provided my address, but because my address is guessed.
I started with Gmail when it was still invitation based, so I had the "luck" to get one of the very short addresses (6 letters in the local part) instead of having to append a birthyear or something. But many spammers send their shit just to every combination of, say, up to eight letters, so that was not too lucky. Another spam source is some other address that consists of two dictionary words, also too easy to guess by a brute force approach.
But most of the spam is detected correctly, only once in a month or so a spam mail is delivered into my inbox or a legit mail into the spam folder.

[monkey0506]

Not strictly related, but one of the more humorous emails I've ever concocted, and indeed, received a response to..

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/2066/softnyxquestion.png

I've had people contest that this is real, but I still have it in my Gmail account. So, take it or leave it, I think it's humorous..and actually bordering on the idea of me spamming Softnyx customer support.