What is your favorite Homer Simpson Line?

Joseph DiPerla · Mon 28/04/2003 17:24:43

I have to explain my favorite:

SETTING: Diner

Marge was going to participate in a business venture with some other ladies in the town. She thought it was too risky and was left out of the deal. The ladies told marge that she could leave and that they were going to mail her the pancakes.

Marge is then home explaining this to her family. And here is my favorite Homer Simpson Line: (Might not be accurately repeated, but you get the idea)

"Wait a minute marge, back it up! SO when are the pancakes coming in the mail?"

I love that line.

Joey

Nacho · Mon 28/04/2003 18:03:08

well, I think IÂ´ve said before that Homer is not my cup of tea, I preffer Bart, and my favourite line of Bart is "Mom, my balls donÂ´t fit in my pants!".

He said that when a laboratory was testing in him a new drug for improving his attention. Marged asked him the first morning after the start of the treatment if he felt secondary effects. Bart had a huuuge packet in his trousers. Of course, the big balls where not a secondary effect, it was just Bart with Oranges in his underwear...

He is a jocker!

Flippy_D · Mon 28/04/2003 20:01:35

"Oh, so the internet's on computers now."

jannar85 · Mon 28/04/2003 20:27:15

"Doh!"

MadReizka · Mon 28/04/2003 20:29:16

"One size for all, my ass..."
or
"ZZZZZZZZZZzzzz"

Andail · Mon 28/04/2003 21:48:43

Homer: "I did it, I saved Christmas! I found the dog!"
Marge: "Homer, we were looking for Bart"

Adamski · Mon 28/04/2003 22:14:48

A few of my favourites:

Homer: Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing
he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: ... A dinosaur!

-----

Homer: So I said to him, "Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we
got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed
off like that!"
Lisa: Dad, don't you see you're abusing your power like all vigilantes?
I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police?
Homer: I dunno. Coast Guard?

-----

Homer: Mmm...sixty four slices of American cheese.
[Takes the stack to the table and sits down]
Sixty four...[eats it]
Sixty three...[eats it]
[Next morning]
Two...[eats it really slowly]
One...[eats it]
[Marge walks in]
Marge: [incredulous] Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: [slurred] I think I'm blind...

rodekill · Tue 29/04/2003 01:06:47

D'oh.

Goldmund · Tue 29/04/2003 01:27:05

"Dad, are you sure he is there?"
"Absolutely, darling."

This always cracks me up. My pants are wet as I write.

Trapezoid · Tue 29/04/2003 01:29:08

That isn't funny at all.

Without context, anyway...

Goldmund · Tue 29/04/2003 01:33:57

Well, it's not my fault that you cannot see the comic genius if it struck your face. Ask anybody on this forum, maybe they can explain to you why this line is brilliant.

Trapezoid · Tue 29/04/2003 01:44:43

I can't seem to find any reference to the line on Google...
And if you can't find a Simpsons line on the Internet, odds are it's not a real line.

Goldmund · Tue 29/04/2003 01:59:41

Have you tried Alltheweb or Lycos?
If so, then maybe somebody has lied to me. Damn, all this crazy laughter for nothing!

LGM · Tue 29/04/2003 02:28:31

Homer: ...And I'm not easily impressed! (Pause) WHOA, LOOK! A BLUE CAR!

Quickstrike · Tue 29/04/2003 03:28:22

When Marge has a gambling problem. Marge asks Homer to forgive her. He says yes followed by:

Homer: Remember when I got caught stealing watches from Sears?
Marge: Yes
Homer: Well...You have a gambling problem!
Homer: And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa?
Marge: Yes
Homer: Well...You have a gambling problem!
Marge: Homer, when you forgive somebody, you don't rub it in their face.
Homer: Aww!

About something like that.

Joseph DiPerla · Tue 29/04/2003 03:36:34

Homer: Bart, now let me tell you a story about Hercules and the Lion. Now the lion had a thorn in his paw, and noone in the whole village could get the thorn out of his paw. But one day, Hercules came, and with all his strength pulled the thorn out of the paw. And the Lion gave Hercules loads of riches.

Bart: Dad, how can a lion give hercules riches?

Homer: It was the olden days!

----------------
Some Guy: Now when I say hello Mr. Thompsons and stomp on your foot 3 times, you will say hello, got it?
Homer: Got it.
Some Guy: Hello Mr. Thompson!

Stomps on Homers foot 3 times.

Homer looks dumbfounded and turns to the second guy.

Homer: I think he is talking to you.

DGMacphee · Tue 29/04/2003 04:27:08

Homer: Hello! My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.

Mail clerk: Okay, Mr Burns. What's your first name?

Homer: (pauses) I... don't... know...

Layabout · Tue 29/04/2003 06:31:20

*gasp*That man is my exact double!!!

Ohh!!! That dog has a puffy tail!!!!

Chasing after dog: Here puff!!! hehehe!!!

Shattered Sponge · Tue 29/04/2003 06:39:22

"Oh come one, Homey; Japan will be fun - you liked Rashomon"

"That's not how I remember it"

remixor · Tue 29/04/2003 07:12:30

Quote from: Shattered Sponge on Tue 29/04/2003 06:39:22
"Oh come one, Homey; Japan will be fun - you liked Rashomon"

"That's not how I remember it"

That's absolutely brilliant. I don't remember that line though (no pun intended)...was it the one when they went on the crazy Japanese game show and so forth?

Creed Malay · Tue 29/04/2003 10:43:25

Homer and Bart sitting on the big SPRINGFIELD sign, looking over the town at night...

Homer: Hey, it that our house?
Bart:No... I don't think our house has a steeple, Dad...
Homer:Oh, yeah. Sometimes I forget things...

Ali · Tue 29/04/2003 13:48:14

"Cleanin' my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off!
Cleanin' my gun with the safety o-" BANG!

12431 · Tue 29/04/2003 15:04:54

mmmmmmmmmmmm! forbidden donut!
I laugh everytime I hear this one!

Trapezoid · Tue 29/04/2003 15:10:24

As far as the "mmmmm" quotes go, "Mmmmm.... sacrelicious" has to be the all time classic best mm quotey ever.

Shattered Sponge · Tue 29/04/2003 15:47:15

Quote from: remixor on Tue 29/04/2003 07:12:30
Quote from: Shattered Sponge on Tue 29/04/2003 06:39:22
"Oh come one, Homey; Japan will be fun - you liked Rashomon"

"That's not how I remember it"

That's absolutely brilliant. I don't remember that line though (no pun intended)...was it the one when they went on the crazy Japanese game show and so forth?

That's the one - 'Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo'. It's actaully kinda odd that that should be one of my favourite Simpsons lines, as I actully think that that episode represents the point where the show really started to go downhill.

c.leksutin · Tue 29/04/2003 16:06:57

Homer Steals something: "Yoink!"

C.

Dave Gilbert · Tue 29/04/2003 20:02:29

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

or

"Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!"

Jimi · Tue 29/04/2003 20:08:57

"There's a crayon in my brain?" (Points to chest)

veryweirdguy · Wed 30/04/2003 16:03:08

Homer's mum (singing):How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
Homer:Seven!
Lisa:It's a rhetorical question, dad.
Homer:Rhetorical, ay.................eight!
Lisa:Do you even know what rhetorical means?
Homer:Do I know what rhetorical means?

And another one:

(Homer is sitting in what is obviously a lesbian bar. Lots of women are talking around him but he seem to not notice)
Homer: There's something strange about this place, but I can't quite put my finger on it.....
(pause)
Homer:I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies!

Maybe that second one just has to be seen.

Eero · Wed 30/04/2003 17:15:17

"Doh!"
And one line not by Homer:
In the episode, where Simpsons fly to China (or Japan) and can't get back because they don't have enough money. That's why they go working to the fish factory...
Bart: "Knife in, intestines out!"
Fish, what he takes: "I am a magic fish. I can give three..."
Bart: "Knife in, intestines out!"

Czar · Wed 30/04/2003 19:46:40

jannar and rode : you took the keys from my keyboard, i wanted to type that...argh..
Homer: DOH!

Jimi · Wed 30/04/2003 19:49:25

Actualy Eero, he the fish says:

"Spare my life, and I shall grant you three...ARGH!..."

Hollister Man · Wed 30/04/2003 20:11:42

Apu: "A twizzler is NOT a sprinkle!"
(You shouls hear me do his accent!)

____

Lisa: "They're goind to PAMPER us Bart!"
Bart: "GASP!"
Lisa: "Not literally..."

Not Homer quotes, but good, here's a couple from everyone's idiot...

"If there's a better use for the internet, I haven't found it!"

"I always wondered where that crayon went!"

Quickstrike · Thu 01/05/2003 02:47:22

Quote from: c.leksutin on Tue 29/04/2003 16:06:57
Homer Steals something: "Yoink!"

C.

My family has added that to our daily vocabulary.

Ali · Thu 01/05/2003 09:29:14

You're a family of theives?

Joseph DiPerla · Fri 02/05/2003 01:48:03

A new one I heard today:

Homer: God, I promise that if you let this next mission go well, I will split half the money with charity...
Bart: Dad, Gods not stupid!
Homer: (Angrily) Alright lets go!

I was cracking up like crazy!

Scummbuddy · Fri 02/05/2003 03:05:42

Knife goes in... guts come out.

Quickstrike · Fri 02/05/2003 07:51:09

Quote from: Ali on Thu 01/05/2003 09:29:14
You're a family of theives?

Only from each other. It's become a reflex now!

Chrille · Fri 02/05/2003 11:34:17

Hehe, I like the episode where Apu gets fired from the Quik-E-Mart. When he starts singing that stupid "who needs a quik-e-mart" song, there's a part where each simpson makes up a line which ends with quik-e-mart, but when it's Homer's turn he screws up "the quik-e-ma.. D'OH!!!".

Oh well, funnier when you see it for yourself.

Joseph DiPerla · Fri 02/05/2003 13:43:59

I thought it was funny too when Apu gets fired when they go see the head cheese of the Kwik-E-Mart:

headCheese: You may ask only 3 questions
Homer: Are you really the Headcheese?
HC: Yes
Homer: Really?
HC: Yes
Homer: No really?
HC: Yes, thank you please come again...

Dmitri · Fri 02/05/2003 14:10:25

(After a Troy Mclure movie)

Bart: Wow! I really like God! I never knew he was so in your face
Homer: Yes... he's my favourite fictional character...

------

(After being sprayed) "Mmmm... incapacitating"

------

Homer: AWWW! Eight seconds! But I want it now
Homer: three, two, one, BING!

------

Marge: Try these rice squares, they're only thiry five calories
Homer eats
Homer: Hello?! Taste!! Where are you?
Marge: You can put a topping on if you want
(Attention goes to someone else for the scene, and at the end Homer stands up with every food imaginable on the square)
Homer: And only thirty five calories...

Eero · Fri 02/05/2003 20:02:33

Sorry if I missed something, I haven't seen that episode for about two years... $:-\$ And more than that, we have Simpsons on TV so that you can't hear original voices, only Estonian translation... :'(

Timosity · Sat 03/05/2003 04:38:29

Homer has too many good lines, but I just thought of a good Otto one.

He walks into a pot store: "Man, that's false advertising"

something like that anyway

Felipe · Sat 03/05/2003 22:46:31

Well, It's been a while since I last saw the Simpsons (due to the high-school, etc) and, apart from that, I watch it in portuguese $:-\$
But I remember seeing one that goes something like this:
[Homer switchs the computer on]
Computer: Press any key to continue.
Homer: Damnit! Where's the "any key"?

Creed Malay · Sun 04/05/2003 09:35:55

The "Homers Phobia" episode was on the other night... definetly one of my favorites, some quality lines and pleasingly dark humour.

Bart - Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?
Homer - I... don't... know!

Joseph DiPerla · Sun 04/05/2003 15:55:19

Continueing on with Filipe...

Homer: Whew, all this work is making me thirsty, I think I'll order a Tab.

***Presses the Tab Key***

And lets not forget the line in my signature:

Bart and Lisa want their allowance, so they go:

Bart and Lisa: Ding ding ding ding...
***Homer runs downstairs and out the door screaming:

Homer: Ooh, Icecream truck, Icecream truck!!!

Timosity · Sun 04/05/2003 16:09:29

Later on

"Mmmmm, where's that tab I ordered"

just paraphrsing, not sure of exact quote

Ali · Mon 05/05/2003 13:35:26

Quote from: TÃ¬mÃ´sÃtÂ¥ on Sat 03/05/2003 04:38:29
He walks into a pot store: "Man, that's false advertising"

It's called Stoner's Pot Paradise, I think.

PeaceMan · Mon 05/05/2003 14:40:04

Homer: So you tried and you failed. The lesson is never try.