Tell me, gentlemen...

[12431]

DUDE! there's nothing wrong about having friends with different sex. I've got a lot of friends that aren't guys. you're just being jealous.

now that picture is a little more serious. how about "accidentally" wrecking it? just kidding. maybe it's just a picture of a friend.

I'd say: if you have a problem with this, you're sick!
but if you don't think you can trust her, then that becomes a whole different issue.

just talk to her.

[DGMacphee]

The photo of the ex is worrying.

If it wasn't for that, I'd say having a lot of guy friends is perfectly fine.

Look at the reverse of the situation -- are you allowed to have a lot of friends who are women?

But if it bothers you that much, just go talk to her -- tell her how you feel and find out how she feels.

[Femme Stab Mode >:D]

Females are inherently evil.  

So true...
(muhahahaha)

[Paranoia]

you need to talk to her, its not going to work out if you sit there, boiling everytime she talks to another guy, jelousy and mistrust is just going to dig away till theres nothing left.
why am i posting this? coz i'm there now, and never took my own advice
talk now m8


Paranoia

[Nine Toes]

Well... first of all, lets clear something up (it seems a lot of people misunderstood this part)...  The photo in question IS IN FACT of her first boyfriend.  He lives in California (she and I live in Wisconsin)... and he broke up with her after almost a year (even after she spent so much money for the two times she went to see him).  He broke up with her because he was having trouble quitting drugs (in my opinion, he loved drugs more than he loved her).  She still talks to him, they still talk about "them"... but why do I have to look at the damn thing?  It's a double picture frame, with his senior pic on one side, and a picture of her on the other side.   It sits out... in plain view... on her desk.  My picture is across the room... stuck to her mirror... all bent out of shape with crease marks and wear and tear from falling off the mirror all the time.

I'm sorry... I've lost my train of thought...  Things have started to irritate me even more lately... but I'll write more when I regain my train of thought.

[rodekill]

Sounds like she hasn't gotten over him, in which case, you need to get out of there before everything crumbles down around her and she takes you with her.

[Archangel (aka SoupDragon)]

Disclaimer: I know nothing about relationships! The following advice should not be taken heed of under any circumstanes.

The way I see it, your entire jelousy revolves not around her male friends (which are, after all, a normal thing to have), but around your suspicians that she still has feelings for her first boyfriend. Now, fond, perhaps even loving, memories of a first partner are normal. However, openly displaying these feelings to your current partner (by means of the photograph) is not normal. She needs to ask herself: do I really love my current partner (you) enough to overcome my feelings towards my former partner? This is assuming that she DOES have feelings for him. If not, then the photo may be some kind of powerplay by her, which of course has got to stop.

To sum up then, your relationship is savable, but only with both of you honestly confronting your own emotions. Which will be a very... hurtful experience, and at the end of it you may not have a relationship at all. All I can say now is good luck.

[Nine Toes]

I've tried talking to her in the past, but it always ends up in a huge argument... so I've abandoned talking.  (I really shouldn't have to bring up my issues with the picture... it should just be a given... I took down all my pictures in my room a long  time ago because I know she doesn't want to look at them).

I think what the thing with her friends that makes me upset is the fact that I've only met one of her friends (and I had to listen to him brag all night about how he nailed her, he just kept talking about it... she wouldn't tell him to shut up, so I hit him and broke his nose... that started another fight between me and her).  You see, these guys don't know me... therefore... why would they feel any obligation to show respect for the fact that she's my girl?  I've already had problems with her co-workers asking her out (you know... the whole "he doesn't need to know" routine), she won't just tell them to go to hell... and I'm not always there to protect my territory.

I don't really wanna get too far in detail with all of the things that irritate me about her,  I think it would be a very big waste of a lot of bandwidth.

As some of you have noticed... I don't like talking things out... I have anger problems... and yes, Femme Fatale, I get extremely jealous (but there are reasons for that...).

I'm really surprised at how many people replied to this post... I didn't think anyone would care (which is why I felt stupid about asking for other people's opinions).

I really don't want to leave her... she is a very lovable person, but we just can't seem to see eye to eye on anything.  I'm sure she's got her own version of the story... but still, all I've got left is my dignity, and if I  can't get her to stop irritating me... then I know what I have to do.