Why do we all post about girl problems here to a bunch of computer geeks...

[jetxl]

two words: date rape.

[Phemar]

- Use money in shopkeeper
- Get Flowers
+ 5 Moxie!
- Give flowers to girlfriend
+ 15 relationship points!
Cast enchantment of infatuation on girlfriend
+ 2500 relationship points!

It's easy I swear.

[MrColossal]

Just squeeze her hands a lot, that'll do it!

[Gord10]

1. Men just want to have sex (zee germans!).

2. Women just want to have sex (so don't expect too much in relationship land).

7. Do the nasty as soon as possible. It may be all she wants and you might as well get it while you can.

8. Never take advice from adventure gamers.

They are totally wrong; in my opinion.


@Layabout: I think the most hard part of making a relation is to be loved by the girl (or at least having her impressed physically); and it seems like you have already passed this. The next parts wouldn't be hard now; that chief can be easily "taken care". (I mean talking with him and telling him you won't hurt her, you love her etc. )

[juncmodule]

They are totally wrong; in my opinion.

People so often overlook the "just want to have sex" factor. Especially men.  While most of my post was not meant to be serious I do think that Layabout does need to consider the idea that she is not interested in a relationship. Everything he mentioned in his post was very physical. Women are allowed to just want to have sex too. I think it is a little demeaning that men always assume the girl wants the relationship. I mean, look at Layabout, he's the one freaking out about the relationship aspect of things. Not the girl. That is why I advise the date thing, it puts things in the relationship zone and out of the physical zone.

I only bring up the "just want to have sex" factor due to personal experience. I have been in Layabout's position many times. The german always wins.

EDIT: just to clarify Gord10, I'm not disagreeing with your opinion. Just trying to explain my opinion.

later,
-junc

[big brother]

Cut...tum tum tum...

@Layabout: I think the most hard part of making a relation is to be loved by the girl (or at least having her impressed physically); and it seems like you have already passed this. The next parts wouldn't be hard now; that chief can be easily "taken care". (I mean talking with him and telling him you won't hurt her, you love her etc. )

Paste...

To LJUBI, I never said anything about love. I said I liked her. I may grow to love her perhaps. But it is far too early for that.

[LimpingFish]

I don't think I'd like to be with a girl who just wanted me for sex.

...

...

N-No, wait! I...I didn't say that!

[Layabout]

It's not just physical. This sounds cheesy, but she can be alot of fun to be around, not in the kissing sense. We have a similar point of view of the world as me. And she has a deep love of animals, but she will eat them for food as well, which I respect. And I've said before, we can talk for hours on end about nothing and everything, forget about everything else around us, and I like that.

We are finally going to get to have a chat tonight, so we will see. Things look kinda positive. There is no point in me investing a great deal of emotional energy into something that may never be.

[lo_res_man]

Lord! What fools these mortals be!

That's Shakespeare for you, bet he didn't get lucky much either. But hey, sex isn't the only thing in the universe. Be friends first and then hey, if you (meaning both of you) think sex will further the relationship, then shoot, go for it, hit the sack and roll in the hay. Be sure to wear a condom, but if bun gets in the oven, support whatever her decision is. Besides she has the final say. In a relationship men are usually they buyers, and woman are the sellers, and theft is wrong. So have fun, and be a gentleman.

[edmundito]

- Use money in shopkeeper
- Get Flowers
+ 5 Moxie!
- Give flowers to girlfriend
+ 15 relationship points!
Cast enchantment of infatuation on girlfriend
+ 2500 relationship points!

It's easy I swear.

Obviously, someone's learned a lot from my mosty excellent game called A/S/L.

Just squeeze her hands a lot, that'll do it!

Well, it's true! You should try it sometime...

[DGMacphee]

There is no point in me investing a great deal of emotional energy into something that may never be.

I disagree. I think you're throwing up a block here to stop yourself from the possibility that you might get hurt. I say this because you don't know if it will or will never be. Hell, it might turn out to be something great if only you DID invest emotional energy into it. No one knows. You might as well take a chance.

You obviously feel something about her strong enough to write to us, of all people, for advice. So, take a chance with her. Value her and the time you spend with her.

And you're human so don't block your emotions. Let them flow and enjoy them. Denying them is not being honest with yourself. And her.

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

Just squeeze her hands a lot, that'll do it!

He means boobs!


You need to get Chef out of the way and assert yourself, find out precisely what she's expecting from your current relationship and where she'd like it to go.  Then you can express your views and if they match you are on your way.

That will be $54.40 for this session.

[Helm]

I disagree. I think you're throwing up a block here to stop yourself from the possibility that you might get hurt. I say this because you don't know if it will or will never be. Hell, it might turn out to be something great if only you DID invest emotional energy into it. No one knows. You might as well take a chance.

If things fall apart before they even start because people are shielding themselves from being hurt to a degree, then the timing wasn't right. Timing is important too. You can't just sidestep people's lives because I LOEV YOU LOL, it takes the maturity to know that even when things could work out to a good effect, sometimes you must not press the issue because of the timing. So this I LIVE MY LIFE ONE DAY AT A TIME I NEVER MISS CHANCES might be your thing, and great, but it's tyrannical to make other people live by it just because they at the moment like kissing you. Besides the obligation to yourself to be 'true' there's an obligation to the other person to treat them like another person, with different outlooks to life and desires and plans.

of all people

what are we, of all people?

[DGMacphee]

If things fall apart before they even start because people are shielding themselves from being hurt to a degree, then the timing wasn't right. Timing is important too. You can't just sidestep people's lives because I LOEV YOU LOL, it takes the maturity to know that even when things could work out to a good effect, sometimes you must not press the issue because of the timing. So this I LIVE MY LIFE ONE DAY AT A TIME I NEVER MISS CHANCES might be your thing, and great, but it's tyrannical to make other people live by it just because they at the moment like kissing you.

You're missing my point. I'm not saying he should go out and buy her a billion roses as an expression of his deeper emotional something or another blah blah blah. I'm saying he should be honest to himself about how he feels. I'm not saying for him to force the girl at gunpoint to obey his whims. And note, I did say earlier on: "And when the time is right, you both can then be honest with each other and tell each other why you like each other."

Besides the obligation to yourself to be 'true' there's an obligation to the other person to treat them like another person, with different outlooks to life and desires and plans.

Well, duh. I did say that he should value her and time together. Do you actually read my posts or just skim through and find the best bits?

of all people

what are we, of all people?

Computer geeks. Fuck, man, don't you even read the thread titles either??

Jesus, Helm. Get with the program.

[Helm]

I can't talk to you.

[DGMacphee]

You could if you actually talked to me and not down to me while telling me things that I've already stated.

[Las Naranjas]

I

It's all about you isn't it

can't

Your typical defeatest attitude. Try some fucking optimism man,

talk

Yeah, talk talk talk. Talk is cheap dickhead.

to

Proposition this!

you

Oh, so now it's me that's the problem eh?

[Kinoko]

I think DGs advice was fucking brilliant so consider myself waving the DG pompoms and cheering on his side of the team for this.

Seriously guys, take a fucking chance. Nothing more frustrating for a woman than a guy who won't be a man. Women make up their minds about men pretty quickly, and if you start honestly acting on your feelings, if she likes you, she'll reciprocate and if not, there's probably not a lot you could have done anyway. There are circumstances where people can change the way another person feels about them, but -for the most part-, we already know and we're just waiting for you to do something manly about it, or hoping while we look for other men who might do it faster than you.

I'm not saying the man has to make the first move, but don't think about who's making it or not. If you like her, let her know. As DG said, it doesn't need to be with a bajillion roses but don't play coy. Don't lie, don't "bide your time". We won't wait forever. If a man misses a good opportunity for furthering the relationship, be it an emotional relationship or just sex, we'll often (and I say 'we' because women are one like the borg) start wondering where our time is better spent. Maybe that guy over there? Hmm, that German guy pays me a lot of attention...

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

Has this thread changed from Montel to Jerry Springer?  If so, I choose Helm.  I haven't trusted DG since he mystically changed from Hugh Laurie into John C. McGinley.

[DGMacphee]

It's cause Dr Cox is a better doctor than House, Newbie.