DG's Tech Support Service

[remixor]

Dear DG,

Why is Barcik muscling in on your turf?

[Scavenger]

Dear DG

Why do I think I'm a hyena? Recently I've been having strange urges to try and chase off people and eat their meals for them, and laugh spookily.

PS Thank you for your valuable advice about the rabbits. It makes so much sense now.

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG,

I've seen the Matrix Reloaded recently, but unfortunately I failed to understand the ending. Can you please explain to me what the architect told Neo?

He told him: "OMG!!1! WALLHAX0R!!1!"

Dear DG,

Why are there 24 hours in a day? Surely it would make more sense to have 20?

20 isn't enough to pull of a hit series.

Hey, who's the damn tech support guy here, huh smartarse?

Guys who don't understand what the architect says in the Matrix shouldn't go answer other people's questions.

As for CJ, whatever Barcik said will do for my answer (except, add the word 'AWESOME' somewhere there).

Dear DG,

Why is Barcik muscling in on your turf?

Cause he's one of those guys who saw the Matrix movies, pretended to understand them cause he thinks he knows everything -- BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN GET WHAT THE ARCHITECT SAID AND YET I DO!!!

LOLOMGWTFBBQ!!!1!

Dear DG

Why do I think I'm a hyena? Recently I've been having strange urges to try and chase off people and eat their meals for them, and laugh spookily.

PS Thank you for your valuable advice about the rabbits. It makes so much sense now.

Actually, I think if you follow the same advice I gave about the rabbit problem, you'll find the solution to this problem too.

But stop these dreams about being a rabbit or a hyena, man.

Be a super, fucking cool furry -- Like a werewolf!

With laserbeams on his arms!

And sunglasses!

That knows kung-fu!

Yeah, I'd like to see one of those guys parade the furry forums!

His AWESOME lasercannons will pull all the furry chicks!

They'd be all "OMG!! LASERCANNONS!!!"

And that would totaly rule!

[Barcik]

Dear DG,
Why don't you like me?  :'(

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG,
Why don't you like me?  :'(

Cuz u don't understand the Matrix -- It's all philosophical and shit!

[Pumaman]

Dear DG,

How come the Matrix 2 had no story but plenty of over-extended fight scenes, and yet drew an audience of millions?

[Hobbes]

Hmpf DG,

How come ever since your last response to my question, I have your picture on my dartboard and I've ritually burned all my unsent loveletters in a big bonfire?

[Matt Brown]

dear DG,

Im hungry. What should I eat?

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG,

How come the Matrix 2 had no story but plenty of over-extended fight scenes, and yet drew an audience of millions?

Chicks in latex -- simple as that.

Hmpf DG,

How come ever since your last response to my question, I have your picture on my dartboard and I've ritually burned all my unsent loveletters in a big bonfire?

There are so many fucking Freudian references in your question that answering it would cause you to cream your pants.

So, I won't.

dear DG,

Im hungry. What should I eat?

Maybe a Toyota RAV4 with a roof-rack?

...

Some food, idiot -- What else could a normal human being eat other than that?!?

[Haddas]

D34R DG

WYH D035 3V3RYHB0DY H473 M3 1N T3H MU1TIP14Y3R G4M3S? OMG!!!1!WTF1111111111111111111111 LOL!!!!!!11!1111!11

[DGMacphee]

D34R DG

WYH D035 3V3RYHB0DY H473 M3 1N T3H MU1TIP14Y3R G4M3S? OMG!!!1!WTF1111111111111111111111 LOL!!!!!!11!1111!11

Do you just roll your fist over the keyboard when writing to me, or are you actually trying to ask me something important?

[Ben]

I'll translate for you:

Dearest DG,

Why do all my butt plugs smell like poo? They're, like, really grody.. Think I can put them in the dishwasher?

(oh my god what the fuck laughing out loud one one one one one one one one one one exclamation point etc..)

[DGMacphee]

I'll translate for you:

Dearest DG,

Why do all my butt plugs smell like poo? They're, like, really grody.. Think I can put them in the dishwasher?

(oh my god what the fuck laughing out loud one one one one one one one one one one exclamation point etc..)

Hmmm, butt plugs smelling like poo, butt plugs smelling like poo... I don't know about this one -- I think you've got me stumped!

Maybe, it's cause they're called BUTT PLUGS hence you stick them up you BUTT -- that could be the reason, genius!

As for washing them, I recommend you stick one in each ear and run into a wall very quickly.

Repeatedly.

On purpose.

[Ishmael]

Dear Mr. DG:

There's this girl, who I might have a crush on (don't know :), and all I know about her is her name, that she is one grade below me, and she is quite shy (as far as I've seen). Then to my question: Shoud I throw something out of the window and work on my game, or go see if there's anybody by the pool table?

[Pumaman]

Dear DG,

If Lion-O and Bruticus had a fight, who would win?

[Ghormak]

Dear DG,

Have you ever done this? Should I ever do it? Do you know anyone who has done it? Does this count as one or four questions?

[DGMacphee]

Dear Mr. DG:

There's this girl, who I might have a crush on (don't know :), and all I know about her is her name, that she is one grade below me, and she is quite shy (as far as I've seen). Then to my question: Shoud I throw something out of the window and work on my game, or go see if there's anybody by the pool table?

You could throw your dignity out the window if you're trying to hit on chicks below your grade.

Why not the grade above? -- They're way cooler and know how to party!

Dear DG,

If Lion-O and Bruticus had a fight, who would win?

MEGATRON!!!

Dear DG,

Have you ever done this? Should I ever do it? Do you know anyone who has done it? Does this count as one or four questions?

Have I ever done a nonsense webcomic?

Sure have:



Should you do one?

Why not!

I know lots of wacky oddballs who've done them.

As for your last question, look carefully at this stereogram for your answer:



Actually, I just wanted to post a picture of a turd!  

[Gilbert]

Dear Ma'am DG:

I've just forgotten my question, can you tell me what question I was going to ask?

[SSH]

Deer Doctor DG,

How  long do you think it will be before people get bored of asking questions in this thread, or you get bored of replying and it slips off the first page of Gen Gen?

[Andail]

As for your last question, look carefully at this stereogram for your answer:

Woah, if you look at a 30 cm distance, with your eyes slightly squinted, it'll turn out that old picture of DG standing in the bathroom with a blue cup, and in 3D!