DG's Tech Support Service

[Ishmael]

Why not the grade above? -- They're way cooler and know how to party!

Well, I'm on the highest grade in this school... and I'm not looking for party... And I went to see is there anyone by the pool table yesterday, and there wasn't, so I went to work on my game. Today, when I went to see if there's anyone there, she was there playing with another girl from her class. I have no idea why I'm asking, but should I stop playing TIM untill 3 am?

[Haddas]

Dear DG

Why do marbles taste so good with navelfluff. Should I have apple pie with ketshup or hamsandwiches with broccoli jam for dessert, I can't decide.

Please answer quickly... I might die!

[Squinky]

Dg,

Often times when fighting Ninjas, I find that I swear quite a bit. From one ninja-slayer to another, could you give me some advice that might keep me from making nearby mothers shield their children's ears when I disembowel a Ninja near them?

Thanks again
-Squinky

[DGMacphee]

Dear Ma'am DG:

I've just forgotten my question, can you tell me what question I was going to ask?

Probably that one.

Deer Doctor DG,

How  long do you think it will be before people get bored of asking questions in this thread, or you get bored of replying and it slips off the first page of Gen Gen?

Considering the post count so far, the amount of rude words I haven't used, and the oodles of stupid pictures on google's image-search, I can only quote Elton John:

And I think it's gonna be a long, lone time...

Woah, if you look at a 30 cm distance, with your eyes slightly squinted, it'll turn out that old picture of DG standing in the bathroom with a blue cup, and in 3D!

You don't need to squint.

Well, I'm on the highest grade in this school... and I'm not looking for party... And I went to see is there anyone by the pool table yesterday, and there wasn't, so I went to work on my game. Today, when I went to see if there's anyone there, she was there playing with another girl from her class. I have no idea why I'm asking, but should I stop playing TIM untill 3 am?

What do you mean you're in the highest grade? -- That's never stopped anyone before!

If you're in the highest grade in high school, just find a university student.

Hell, my best friend did!

Granted, he got her pregnant before he graduated, but if you're gonna do that it might as well be with someone who's passed puberty.

Dear DG

Why do marbles taste so good with navelfluff. Should I have apple pie with ketshup or hamsandwiches with broccoli jam for dessert, I can't decide.

Please answer quickly... I might die!

Simple answer: You're insane -- Stop masturbating in your own faeces like a crack-addicted monkey and go do something normal for a change like flying a kite or buying commercial products at the supermakert.

Long Answer: YOU NEED A NEW CPU!!!

Dg,

Often times when fighting Ninjas, I find that I swear quite a bit. From one ninja-slayer to another, could you give me some advice that might keep me from making nearby mothers shield their children's ears when I disembowel a Ninja near them?

Thanks again
-Squinky

No, no, no -- you've got it all wrong!

To quote from a well-resourced website:

"Q: I heard that ninjas are always cruel or mean.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome. "

So, in other words, you shouldn't even be trying to kill those ninjas, because they "are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet".

You should just be trying to swear in front of kids without killing ninjas!

So, next time you see a ninja eating icecream near some kids, just ignore the ninja, go up to the kids, and shout "HA HA FUCKERS! YOU'RE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE!"

Trust me: I used to run parties for children!

[Barcik]

Dear DG,

Where's Waldo?

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG,

Where's Waldo?

In my pants.

[Ghostmaker]

Dear DG

If America calls Iraqs nuclear weapons "weapons of mass destruction" what do they call their own nuclear weapons, and why dont my nuclear weapons work.

[Gilbert]

If America calls Iraqs nuclear weapons "weapons of mass destruction" what do they call their own nuclear weapons, and why dont my nuclear weapons work.

I can answer it for you, no need to wait for DG:

1. Gadgets of Mass Salvation
2. Because you're holding teh radioactive material in your bare hand without a container, so you die before triggering teh weapons!

[Femme Stab Mode >:D]

Dear DEEGEESUS,
what's the meaning of life?

[Andail]

1. Gadgets of Mass Salvation

that's a good one

Oh, and Femme...if DG truly had found the meaning of life, do you think he'd spend all day writing silly posts in a thread like this in a forum like ours?

Unless, of course, that is the meaning of life.

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG

If America calls Iraqs nuclear weapons "weapons of mass destruction" what do they call their own nuclear weapons, and why dont my nuclear weapons work.

Gilbert did a pretty good job in answering this, but I'll give it a try.

America's weapons aren't Weapons of Mass Destruction -- they Weapons of Joy and Prosperity.

Ah, fuck it -- Either way you look at it, they're the same weapons, and the US hasn't found them in Iraq yet because the US has to first put them there when no one is looking.

As for your nuclear weapons, maybe you shouldn't substitute nuclear material for toothpaste -- It's doesn't work.

But that doesn't matter -- Rumsfeld and Co are tracking your ass for even just mentioning the phrase "my nuclear weapons".

Shit, now they're tracking me -- Thanks, shithead!

Dear DEEGEESUS,
what's the meaning of life?

Hahahaha -- Like I'm going to tell you, let alone announce it on a public forum!

I'm not that fucking stupid!

If you want to really know, you got to slip me a thick wad o' cash first.

Otherwise, stiff shit!

[jannar85]

Dear DG, why has my father been laid by your mother, and taped it?

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG, why has my father been laid by your mother, and taped it?

Been "laid" by my mother??

What is she -- a hen or something???

Why can't you just say "fuck" like a man, you pansy!!

And what about this "taped" shit -- Did he use scotch tape, gaffer tape, masking tape, whatthefuck?

And what the hell do you mean by "it" -- Are you saying he taped her snatch?

Why would he do such a dumbfuck thing after FUCKING with her?

Please, if you're going to make up stupid questions about my mother having sex with a complete stranger,  first make sure they not pussified and that they make sense.

P.S. Did you get my birthday card, little brother?

[jannar85]

Been "laid" by my mother??

What is she -- a hen or something???

Why can't you just say "fuck" like a man, you pansy!!

And what about this "taped" shit -- Did he use scotch tape, gaffer tape, masking tape, whatthefuck?

And what the hell do you mean by "it" -- Are you saying he taped her snatch?

Why would he do such a dumbfuck thing after FUCKING with her?

Please, if you're going to make up stupid questions about my mother having sex with a complete stranger,  first make sure they not pussified and that they make sense.

P.S. Did you get my birthday card, little brother?

Sorry. I don't have birthday today, but thanks for asking.
Sorry again for that question. I meant MY mother.. But who cares! He screws around with everyone!


P.S - that question was just a sarcastic question
Sorry for doing it. I'll never do it again, bro.

[DGMacphee]

Sorry. I don't have birthday today, but thanks for asking.
Sorry again for that question. I meant MY mother.. But who cares! He screws around with everyone!


P.S - that question was just a sarcastic question
Sorry for doing it. I'll never do it again, bro.

Oh!

Well that does make a lot of difference...

That still doesn't explain why he sticky-taped her snatch shut though.

Must be some new chasity belt-like thing

[earlwood]

All knowing and powerful DG:

1.  Are roach's body able to sence pain, or am I just wasting my time saber fighting them with toothpicks?

2. Canned or Fresh yams?

[DGMacphee]

All knowing and powerful DG:

1.  Are roach's body able to sence pain, or am I just wasting my time saber fighting them with toothpicks?

No, no -- keep fighting them with your "lightsaber".

Just make sure to record the footage and put it on Kazaa.

2. Canned or Fresh yams?

We're not a very high-yam eating population\ in Australia, so I've never actually seen a yam.

But after a google image-search, I must conclude that they look like large turds.

Don't believe me?



Can you spot the difference?

In any case, go with fresh -- There's not much market for canned shit.

[Timosity]

How come you didn't tell us Yahtzee was finally moving in with you

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/byebye.htm

[DGMacphee]

How come you didn't tell us Yahtzee was finally moving in with you

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/byebye.htm

Cause it's not really all that amazing.

Really, look at it like this:

1. Yahtzee's girlfriend is here in Brisbane.

2. Yahtzee is male, thus horny like any of the cast from either Animal House or Caddyshack.

1 + 2 = Happy Yahtzee in Brisbane with girlfriend

Therefore, he's not coming to Brisbane to see my fuzzy arse, so why should I care?

...

...

* DGMacphee cries!

On a completely different note, I do plan to release my own line of books for children called 'The Adventures of Ben and Sarah'.

Here's a page:

[Haddas]

BWAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!!!! LOL!!!
That's great!

One thing... You van't put that kind of bad language in a childrens book, come on! children get nightmares if you tell them shit like "Ben feels happy"