Game Idea: Undying Time

[PyroMonkey]

This is just an idea I've had for a game. The only thing I've done for it so far is a single sprite of the main character.
Some C&C would be useful.

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Undying Time I


John had it all.
Born to rich parents, he lived like a prince...
Until one day, when the seagulls were left speechless...

He vanished.

With being the primary inheritor of his parents' fortune,
Why would he commit suicide?

Apparently he was quite amiable and friendly...
I doubt it was a full-fledged murder.

And yet...it happened. Right in front of their noses.

I know I'm still an amateur at detective work...
I'm young, they say, inexperienced, they say.

This must be my oppurtunity to shine.

"Kawk?"

I'm going to go, Wanda, and be the best damn detective out there!

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Ignore the apparent detective cliche. Once the game is out you'll understand why.

The game is divided into three parts, explained breifly below:

1.) The Dead Don't Speak

Explore the McGiniccole residence, searching for anything everyone else may have missed.

2.) An Abyss of Perpetuity

Souls shouldn't wander into the third dimension...

3.) Wound Too Tight

I can't really tell you about this one without ruining the game.

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As you can see, I've got most of the storyline taken care of. I think it's a decent idea, I've had the gist of it for a while now actually.

Now, critique time.

[IM NOT TEH SPAM]

Sounds like a pretty good idea, but you shouldn't really worry about the detective cliche.  Most of the time "Adventure Game" means "detectives who walk around and use stupid/funny objects to complete small quests often involving broken machinary and long term puzzles"



I can't really critique it right now, because I don't know what happens between parts.  So far it sounds good.

[Corey]

its a nice story that really gets my attention 

[Nikolas]

It depends on where you're taking the game. Well, it seems it could go well towars a horror story and I don't know why, Alone in the Dark came in mind. Not that it has anything to do with your idea, but... I really don't know why.

Anyway without telling us anything it's hard to critique.

To be honest you could make a masterpiece with your story but you could also just ruin it...

[Nine Toes]

"Kawk?"

:o





The story sounds kind of interesting... I guess I'd like to read more of the actual story before I were to offer any useful critique.

[PyroMonkey]

Come to think of it, it's really more an "intro" than a story.

And thanks for the feedback, everyone. More to come on this.(Hopefully...)