Abortion: Should she tell her husband?

[Raggit]

Hello all.  I've got a discussion to open up here.

I'm sure you've all heard about Bush's new nomination to the Supreme Court, Samuel Alito: http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/10/31/scotus.bush/index.html

I've done some reading about him, and one of the issues that seem to come up again and again, is that Alito once ruled in favor of a state requirement that wives notify their husbands if they were going to get an abortion. 
A lot of people, particularly those of more liberal stance, seem to think that this is a very bad thing.  I consider myself a liberal, but for some reason, I'm not seeing this issue the same way.  Why shouldn't a husband have a right to know if his wife wants to abort the baby?

So, I'm asking your opinion:
Should a wife be required to tell her husband that she wants or is going to get an abortion? 
Why or why not?

[Paper Carnival]

that's a good question, but I think abortions shouldn't be happening in the first place.

[Raggit]

...but I think abortions shouldn't be happening in the first place.

Well, that's kind of a different topic from this one, but personally, I feel that abortion should be reserved for those who really need it for medical reasons, such as in instances of tubal pregnancy.

[Becky]

I'm pro-choice, and I think that although a woman should tell their husband/partner about an abortion, that doesn't mean that they have to.  In a healthy, happy relationship, this would be a joint decision, but at the end of the day, it's the womans body, it's her choice.

[Darth Mandarb]

This is such a touchy topic ...

There's a part of me that says, "It's the man's kid too ... he has a right to know!"

But there's also a part of me that says, "It's her body ... she can do what she wants!"

If I were married, and my wife got pregnant and wanted an abortion ... You know what?  I'm not even going to think about it.  I don't know how I'd react and I hope I never face the situation.

My opinion on abortion is this:

I don't like it.  But a woman has the right to choose for herself.

I certainly don't think the state/government should have any say it in though.

[SSH]

When I was young and always thought I was right, my christian background made me think that abortion was wrong. This got stronger when I met christian women that were also very against abortion: the media had until then given me the impression that being against abortion was something only done by men.

We (my wife and I) had a friend when lived in Bristol, however, who had had an abortion and poured out her heart to us once. She felt terrible for it, and froma catholic background it had really put her against the church, becasue she felt so condemned by it. Her situation was very understandable, but then look at the pain this had caused her. OK, so maybe some of that was her church's fault, but I've heard of non-religious women who feel terrible after thier abortions and regret it for the rest of their lives, too. My emotions were so mixed on the whole issue.

Then, when at 7 weeks pregnant my wife had some bleeding we went for an ultrasound scan and could see a tiny little blob, but with a beating heart, I felt amazed at this life. Then, at 12 and 20 weeks more scans showed what was obviously a tiny human being, I felt dead set against abortion. I loved both my daughters before they were born, and yet with both I was worried that I wouldn't love them enough. The day of their births confirmed for me that I did love them enough.

My heart is broken that there is not enough love in the world to support so many children, born and unborn. I've seen parents who treat their children as a burden, and abortion rates show that this applies to unborn children too.

Now, there are many instances where abortion becomes more acceptable: rape and even more so where the mother is at risk, but there are too many cases where it is used as birth control.

On the other hand, when abortion was illegal in the UK, girls just went to backstreet places and often both mother and child ended up dead or seriously injured. And in modern Ireland, people just fly to another European country where they can get it done.

My heart tells me that it is murder to kill this defenceless unborn child, and it makes me well up just thinking about it. But my head tells me that sometimes it is the lesser of two evils.

Its very hard to get past this to an issue like "Should the father be told". Well, I think that the father has the right to know, but telling him before the fact has a bunch of dangers associated with it. On the toher hand, maybe the wife assumed he didnt want it but when confronted with it he does. Personally, saving an innocent from murder has to be the overriding factor.

[Anarcho]

From what I understand, this particular law was struck down citing abused spouses may be afraid or unable to obtain "approval" from their husbands.  I think that's an excellent argument.  Furthermore, I can think of many different scenarios where needing "approval" from a spouse is an unfair burden.

I'm sympathetic to the arguments against abortion (especially late term), but when it comes down to it, it's a woman's choice. 

[Tom S. Fox]

Well, it's the women's body, it's her choice, alright, but the man should at least know about it.
Maybe the man can convince her to not do it.
But I think the woman can't just go home and say: "Hello dear, I just had an abortion!"

[IM NOT TEH SPAM]

I agree with Thomas on this one...
The father/husband should know, not nececarily decide on weather or not to go through with it... but there are plenty of factors in there.  The father might be some 16 year old with no goals in life, but he should still know. 

I personally don't think there should be abortions, but again there are too many factors in there (rapes, teenagers, etc.).  I dislike the arguments "You don't have a uterus, you wouldn't know", and "It's my body", because once again it's also the father's child too.

[Anarcho]

Right, but what if you're husband almost kills you and you have to leave the state to escape him?  You can't care for a child and need to have an abortion, what then?  Send him a nice letter in the mail?  This kind of thing is not as rare as you think.

[Tuomas]

I think, that a woman has every right to have abortion, in specific circumstances. And I believe the man has every right to know of it, though I agree, that she should not be forced to tell. I think that relationships are based on trust, but if such happens outside a relationship, it's up to the woman. Anyway, I totally accept abortion as a procedure, if the baby is not old enough. As a man I think I had the right to know, because it's about my life too, my baby... But it's up to the girl, let her concider it.

[Anarcho]

I agree, that in a perfect world, the father should know and be part of the decision making process.  But laws are pretty much black and white, and rarely leave room for special circumstances or exceptions.

[Squinky]

I never got the whole "It's her body, she has the right to an abortion" thing.

What about the body of the unborn child?

If it wasn't rape, or some other horrible circumstance, then it's her body and she should have to deal with the consequences. I did, had a kid at 19. Should I have had the right to murder my child because I didn't want to lose my youth so quickly? No.

I love my kids so much, and hearing about this topic just makes me sad.

[Paper Carnival]

Exactly. However there are cases where having a baby risks the life of the mother. In those cases it's acceptable.

But anyway, this is not the topic. Like what everyone said, if she has an abortion then her husband should know. I'm not sure whether she should be forced to tell him, but I lean closer to no.

[Afflict]

Firstly abortion sucks...

You shouldnt be having sex if your not responsible enough firstly to look after the kid,
or use protection.

She should tell the husband, this is just a healthy thing to do.
Abortion only good for women that are raped!
Other than that if your old enough to have sex your old enough to look after your
to be born baby.

Thats what I think anyway...

[Darth Mandarb]

This is why this topic is so touchy ...

Because I agree with Squinky too.  Who has the right to choose for the unborn child who can't speak for him/herself?

I don't think a woman has the right to get an abortion.  I think she has the right to make the choice.

The only Man (male, guy, dude, etc) who should have ANY say in the matter should be the father of the child.

I don't see why the state / gov. needs to be involved.  If they make it illegal (as was mentioned earlier) it won't stop it.  It'll just make it FAR more dirty and un-safe.

Drugs are illegal too ... look how effective those laws are!

As for telling the husband, I don't think I touched on it enough in my last post.

I don't think it would be a bad thing if she was required to tell the father of the child ... however, the father shouldn't have the power to stop it (short of talking her out of it)  In other words, she doesn't need his permission to have the abortion, but he has a right to know about it.

Again, as with almost all things, there'd always be exceptions to this rule.

[Squinky]

I tend to think that she should have to tell him. Maybe put into law options for women who are abused, but it shouldn't flat out be none of the husbands business.

I know it isn't his body, but it is his child also.

[Paper Carnival]

Hmm yeah, I think the best solution is for him to know, but his permission not required

[Tom S. Fox]

Yes, I think so, too.

[Squinky]

So, if my wife got pregnant, started using drugs and going wacky on me, she could go kill off my unborn child without my say so?  I should have just as much rights to that child as her, unless I was being an unfit husband.

Edit----

Stop and put yourself in that situation, and you would probably change you're mind.