I'm thinking of starting Alcoholics Anonymous...

KANDYMAN-IAC · Wed 14/06/2006 17:24:35

Hi... Think is Kandyman. I think I have a problem. For a while now I've ben drinking too much and too often. since september of last year. I lost my currrent job, current girlfirend and, and the one of the ony musical shows i've ever wanted to be in. I ended up drinking about a bottle of red wine a day until i was re-employed somewhere around october or early november.... but then the job became very stressfull and i started drinking again around january or febuary and because of that at talks with my boss i lost that particular job... Also to give you an idea, within the last 5 days I've had 13 standard drinks, then 5 standard drinks then 8 standard drinks then 12 standard drinks....

Tonight i felt very inspired to check out AA (alcoholics anonymous). I even woke my brother and ex girlfriend to talk to them about it. My brother told me to fuck off (prolly cos i live with him) but my exgirlfriend was very receptive (and i can't fully trust that because i believe she wants some sort of relationship with me).

I think I drink too much, at the same time i think i'm wasting my time, and other peoples pretending this is a real problem.... I know it sounds very contradictory...

look forget all about this, it really feels like bullshit just forget about it.

lo_res_man · Wed 14/06/2006 17:35:40

No, its okay, and if you think it would help, go ahead, join. I really respect you for opening up like this. My father was a Finnish Alcoholic ( he didn't drink often, but when he did, it was to get drunk) and he joined AA and it helped. I hope you get you life back on track. I support you, and am praying for you. Thanks for sharing, that takes a lot of guts. (and I got that F.A. thing from National Geographic)

Nikolas · Wed 14/06/2006 17:39:46

Then why did you post???

Ok... I understand how you feel.

I'm not sure that you qualify as an alcoholic, but this post is a very good sign. My impression of alcoholism is that you can't spend a day without drinking. You wake up and want to drink. If this is the case, then yes you are an alcoholic. If not and you can spend a couple of days without drinking, then I doubt you are at that stage.

Of course in all cases you need much caution.

I perosnally love beer and drink a lot of beer.

I'd say that I drink daily, around 2 L of beer (at least I used to). That was last year (2005). After that I came back to London with my wife, realised that I had gained 15 kilos or even more and went on a diet. Not something heavy, but stoped drinking beer, stoped eating chees and fat, and that's all...

Everybody will tell you that realising you have a problem is 50%. And it's true...

Generally from my own experience you need a real decent purpose to stop a bad habbit like dirnking or smoking. (my wife quit smoking after 10 years, when she became pregrnant... a worhtwhile cause I'd say...)

Good luck...

And honestly try this:

Try not drinking for 24 hours. If you can do it with no problem then there is little problem in trying for 48 hours then, no? If you can do it for 48 hours try a week.

Tom S. Fox · Wed 14/06/2006 17:45:39

I second lo_res_man.
You should at least try it.
It's a good thing, that you admit, that you might have a problem.
And it's better to do something about it, before it gets worse!
And I think, it's no shame to join the AA.
It would be a shame, to ignore one's problems.

KANDYMAN-IAC · Wed 14/06/2006 17:52:36

in the same month i lost my job and girlfriend and possible show, i gained between 7 and 10 kilos. max aprox 22 pounds.

And i think i've started a habit. One that is VERY common in my family. But to go to AA i think i would be wasting peoples time. Those that had real problems.

PS. I don't like stopping for 24 hours, I can do it but try to find friends who will go out with me to drink. Or 48 hours i want get very social so i can drink.

edmundito · Wed 14/06/2006 18:04:53

I think that you're in the early stages of alcoholism, and I think going to AA meetings knowing that the problem might grow worse is a good thing. It might help you control your drinking habit.

It definitely looks to me, though, that it's definitely taking over your life and you should seek some help. Sometimes it can be easier and more confortable to get advice and help from strangers than from family and friends.... e.g., posting this on the forum.

lo_res_man · Wed 14/06/2006 18:17:47

Quote from: KANDYMAN-IAC on Wed 14/06/2006 17:52:36
And i think i've started a habit. One that is VERY common in my family. But to go to AA i think i would be wasting peoples time. Those that had real problems.

Believe me I thought the same thing when my doctor and family recommended I get help from Mental Health Services, for my anxiety attacks. I thought, "Hey, there are people who need help, more then me, I am just not worth the trouble" but it turned out I did need help. Now they are mostly under control, but its because I got help when I needed it.

LimpingFish · Wed 14/06/2006 19:28:02

Facing up to a problem, even before you feel its an actual problem, is a very good first step.

I developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when I was fifteen, but I wasn't professionally diagnosed until I was eighteen. I needed a lot of levity from my family, in the things I was asking them to do (things I fully believed, in my skewed logic, I was RIGHT to ask them), so as to ensure an exceptable enviroment where I felt safe. At times I could really take things too far.

It got pretty ugly before I realised I needed help.

This first time I talked to a psychiatrist, I just took a deep breath and rattled off everything that had happened to me since I first began to have OCD tendencies. Voicing the ludicrous situation that I had allowed myself to get into, gave me a clear perspective on what needed to be done. I felt better after that. And over time I learned to control my disorder.

Thankfully the worst is behind me, and I can deal with my disorder in a rational way (plus I'm a far more mellow person now

), but if I hadn't taken that first step...

Gord10 · Wed 14/06/2006 19:37:23

I was just thinking starting a thread about alcoholism, because I'm afraid I'm getting the same way.
I don't feel myself comfortable when I don't drink once a week; I start seeing bars, beer glasses in my dreams. Guess I need help.

Nikolas · Wed 14/06/2006 19:55:42

Gord: Drinking once a week is definately not a problem. (note speaking as an AGS member and not a doctor or anything. Scrap the word definately out...)

lo_res_man · Wed 14/06/2006 20:18:47

Nikolas: Drinking once a week may not be classed as addictive behavior for YOU, but if this guy is DREAMING about beer and beer glasses, then its definitly an issue for HIM.If one HAS to have the substence, then it doesn't matter if it's one a week or once a hour, their addicted. Sorry if I am being rude, but you can't get in Gord10's head, you can't know what he's going through.

Nikolas · Wed 14/06/2006 20:23:31

true... that's why I added the parenthesis, to sort of say that it is my opinion and surely not the opinion of an expert.

lo_res_man · Wed 14/06/2006 20:41:57

hehe, sorry bout that nikolas ol' boy, (didn;t read the parenthesis

)
And KANDYMAN-IAC? We still support you 120%! Get better man, trust me, you'll thank yourself.

Nine Toes · Wed 14/06/2006 20:53:39

Quote from: KANDYMAN-IAC on Wed 14/06/2006 17:24:35
Hi... Think is Kandyman. I think I have a problem. For a while now I've ben drinking too much and too often. since september of last year. I lost my currrent job, current girlfirend and

I can empathize with you on that. I think I was in your shoes about two years ago, right around this time (with the exception of the musical show... I'm not exactly the song and dance type

). I ended up going to AA for a few months.

I guess, if you really feel that you have a serious, uncontrollable problem, and your life is going to shit because of it, then definitely check out AA.

See, I thought I really had a problem. All I could think about was getting drunk, like it was going to solve my problems. I checked out AA, and I sobered up.

But also, I have to mention that AA is not for everyone. While AA was there to help me, I found that it wasn't that hard to let go of the bottle. I haven't gone in a long time, but I'm still 99.9% better than I was before. They say, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic". Which leads me to beleive that I was never an alcoholic. I still go out and have a beer once in a blue moon... Only because I CAN, not because I HAVE TO.

You have my support. Totally. If you want some real words of wisdom, I'd recommend talking to DGMacphee. While AA is nice, I feel that it's too religiously involved. DG has a nice, "no bullshit" way of explaining things.

ildu · Wed 14/06/2006 21:31:38

I wouldn't hesitate about being a burden of society and thinking you're not worthy of AA, since if you don't get help and you do end up being a serious alcoholic, the burden will be that much larger. People have a weird tendency to not get help when they need it. I would definately not let embarrassment or bad self-confidence get into the way of me healing and ultimately becoming a more productive and content member of society.

So, if you have any doubt that you might be an alcoholic, go to AA. If it's not for you, or if you're truly not an alcoholic by their standards, I have a feeling you'll notice it quite quickly. After all, it's their job to offer help and that's really why they're there. I can't imagine an AA worker ever belittleing a help-seeker's problems, so you definately shouln't belittle your own problems.

2ma2 · Thu 15/06/2006 00:03:54

First off, so nice to hear from you again!

Secondly, being obsessive compulsive I pretty much constitutes being a -holic mentally wise, and I know how you tangle with thoughts. A good sign is white lies, which means you feel the act is wrong but you do it anyway.

Thirdly, do NOT think there are people more deserving of help, there are always people in a worse state than yourself, the question is more, will the help be of use for you. In that case, I'd recommed trying everything out. Be it AA or other..

With utmost regards,
Linus

MillsJROSS · Thu 15/06/2006 02:00:13

As an addict of something else entirely, I can completely understand what you're talking about. Mind you, I'm refering to caffiene, and the method of injection, coffee. Of course, being addicted to coffee does not affect your life the way alchohol does. However, almost everyday I tell myself, I will stop drinking this stuff. And everyday, there's a cup in my hand. And I just got off a almost solid year of avoiding coffee. When I moved I didn't put the pot in the kitchen, and got rid of soda as well. Soon the soda came back, and then coffee followed suit. Naturally, I start drinking coffee again when I stop drinking alchohol. I don't think I ever had an alchohol problem, but when I started noticing that I could drink a hell of a lot the whole night and not feel drunk...I decided maybe I needed a vacation from it. It hasn't been too hard not drinking, but occassionally I will really want a beer (like now).

I'd say if alchohol is affecting your job and your love life, that there is a problem. How you go about stopping it will ultimately be up to you. I don't agree with the 24 hours thing, then you'll just reward yourself 24 hours later with alchohol. You need to fine a frame of time long enough where you no longer need it. Maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe forever...it's up to you. People might have more problems than you, but it's not like there's a limit to how many people are allowed at AA. If you have a problem get help, and screw everyone else.

-MillsJROSS

TheYak · Thu 15/06/2006 10:56:12

If you're thinking it's a problem instead of completely rationalizing it and justifying your habits, then it's likely a problem and potentially being on the edge of addiction. AA is a commonly-available program, but might turn you off of getting help if their philosophies don't mesh well with your own. A friend of mine didn't do so well with that group so just entered a pact with me. He won't drink alone. If he desperately craves one, he drops by, we (or another friend) have a drink together and that way I (or someone else) can monitor the amount and he becomes accountable for the amount and frequency of alcohol use. I don't think he was being entirely honest at the onset (sneaking drinks by himself) but after realizing friends would answer his call whenever I think he's been on the level, particularly since he's decreased from daily drunkeness to a couple drinks on the weekend.

Probably not a method for everyone, but I'll take peer support over stranger support myself anyday.

Layabout · Thu 15/06/2006 17:02:55

I know how you are feeling. Personally I will drink by myself, but only in a social situation, like a pub. My biggest problem is that I will drink when I get depressed. Self-medicating, but not the healthiest thing to do. Tuesday was the last time that happened. I started drinking at about 12:30pm (it was my day off). I paced myself well, as by 6pm, i'd only had 4 beers (bottled, at a pub). I came back home to the pub I work in, and i started drinking pints. I had about 5 and then I started drinking wine, of which I had 3 small glasses, the last of which I did not finish.

There must be some point in the last year which spurred your habit. A bout of depression, a stressful work or home life perhaps. Or simply availability.

The owner of the pub I work in certainly has a drinking problem. He is a Class A alcoholic. He will go to the celler, have a few bottles of beer, and hide the evidence, albiet not well. He will pour or take a bottle in the morning, and find us odd jobs to do that get us out of the bar, or he will take one when my back is turned and take it to the restaurant. He was confronted by the manager, he admitted to his problem, but He has done nothing to rectify his situation, and was back to his old tricks within 3 days. We are all concerned for his health, and for his family. He drink-drives, sometimes with his four year old daughter in the car. Which is the part that angers me about it most. He needs to wake up and get help. Last weekend, I did a stock up the night before, and opened a new box of becks. I had taken two bottles from that case. By the time I stocked up that night, there were 2 bottles left in that box. A case of 24. 20 bottles of 5% lager in the space of 13 hours. Not to mention his 'quick' halves he had between shift and pints after work. I felt sick.

You are not as bad as this man, but if you don't try to rectify the problem now, it will spiral out of control, and you could end up like this. The worst thing is, this mans father is a reformed alcoholic. We think his justification is that he is only drinking beer, not spirits. it is all alcohol. And the fact he drinks half may be a justification as well.