My Life Is About To Change

TerranRich · Wed 13/09/2006 04:12:28

Big news, folks. Long story short, I've been with my current girlfriend for over 11 months and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are not yet married, but we were planning on getting married very soon. Our love is beyond words, and therefore transcends anything I can possibly explain.

That having been said, last night I got the sudden and rather surprising news that she is pregnant.

She took three home tests and just today went to the doctor, who confirmed it. I'm gonna be a father.

A strange coincidence is that the baby's due date is right around my own birthday (May 14-20, where mine is the 18th), so that'll be strange/cool.

How am I feeling right now? LMFAO. Words can't describe that. It's like, one part of me is exhilarated beyond belief. I'm gonna be a damn father after all!

On the other hand, my parents are more or less traditional Portuguese parents, which means they cling on to old fashioned beliefs like marriage before children and being absolutely ready before even considering having kids. They let us move back in with them (they are generous), but forbade us from sharing a bedroom (old fashioned).

I have no idea how I'm going to tell them. Andrea and I were even considering getting married by the Justice of the Peace (the official way), then having the wedding ceremony when we can afford it. It's kinda weird and nontraditional, but I'm starting to think that tradition shouldn't necessarily be a requirement to live life.

The shock is only now started to fade away, slowly being replaced by desperate panic. Actually, denial was the first step. I kept saying that she MIGHT be pregnant and hoped to God that further testing would prove me right. Then there was the anger, where I was horrendously pissed off at myself (and no one else) for allowing this to happen. Then I was bargaining at my local sandwich shop to get chips for free because they were already crushed. Then there was depression when I realized that this is not going away. I think I'm in that stage right now. Hopefully acceptance will follow.

Can somebody explain why I'm going through the stages of grief

Jeez, it's not a funeral or anything. But I digress.

I'm gonna be a father!

Gord10 · Wed 13/09/2006 05:40:22

Wow, congrats

I wish happiness...
About your parents; tell them we live in the 21th century.

earlwood · Wed 13/09/2006 05:49:23

And his parents will tell him; "And you live in our house."

Parents are magical like that.

_{Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell.}

Promise not to be stingy with the switchin'.

monkey0506 · Wed 13/09/2006 06:38:10

For some reason when I saw this...I just immediately thought "WTF? Terran's getting a sex change???"

Congrats though!

Vince Twelve · Wed 13/09/2006 07:42:18

Congrats, and welcome to the papa club! Hello baby, bye bye sleep!

Don't worry. You'll get over all the weird feelings. You've got seven or eight months to prepare yourself mentally for fatherhood. Any doubts that you have left on B-Day will be quickly forgotten when you see the squishy purple face of your amniotic-fluid-covered kid.

Congratulations, friend!

Nikolas · Wed 13/09/2006 07:59:07

What Vince said mainly

Hello baby, bye bye sleep.

Yup it's true!

Congrats man! I hope all the best for you and Andrea, and wish you all the hapiness in the world. The minute your baby reches its 18th year of age, you will have goten over that strange feeling of yours. Don't worry

Haddas · Wed 13/09/2006 13:04:03

wtf? MORE babies?

When will it ever END?

Dan_N · Wed 13/09/2006 13:05:52

Yeah, man, good luck and congrats. You're one of the braver ones.

And remember, after he says his first word, make him join the big blue cup forums!

Congrats again and I wish you the best of luck.

Kudos! on a job well done.

Privateer Puddin' · Wed 13/09/2006 13:16:45

Quote from: Dan_N_GameZ on Wed 13/09/2006 13:05:52
And remember, after he says his first word, make him join the big blue cup forums!

Just what we need, more people who don't meet the minimum ageÃ,Â :

Helm · Wed 13/09/2006 13:33:59

Quote from: TerranRich on Wed 13/09/2006 04:12:28
Big news, folks. Long story short, I've been with my current girlfriend for over 11 months and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We are not yet married, but we were planning on getting married very soon. Our love is beyond words, and therefore transcends anything I can possibly explain.

Your love is beyond words, but it has been tested for just 11 months. This isn't very sane. Live together for a year or two, I'd advise you. Why would I advise you? Because you're posting about your life on the internet.

QuoteShe took three home tests and just today went to the doctor, who confirmed it. I'm gonna be a father.

How am I feeling right now? LMFAO. Words can't describe that. It's like, one part of me is exhilarated beyond belief. I'm gonna be a damn father after all!

You don't seem very happy about this later on in this very same post.

QuoteOn the other hand, my parents are more or less traditional Portuguese parents, which means they cling on to old fashioned beliefs like marriage before children and being absolutely ready before even considering having kids. They let us move back in with them (they are generous), but forbade us from sharing a bedroom (old fashioned).

That's not 'old-fashioned'. That's 'making-sense'. Sorry.

EDIT: I didn't see I also quoted the 'not sharing a bedroom' thing. I don't think that's making sense, and that's quite strangely strict yes. But the rest about marriage before children and being ready financially and emotionally before having children? Yes. Sense.

Quotebut I'm starting to think that tradition shouldn't necessarily be a requirement to live life.

Making responsible decisions however, is.

QuoteCan somebody explain why I'm going through the stages of grief Jeez, it's not a funeral or anything. But I digress.

Because you're not ready to be a father?

QuoteI'm gonna be a father!

But you're not ready to be a father.

Tuomas · Wed 13/09/2006 13:44:58

He's 24, I think he's old enough to be responsible. I don't think anyone getting their first child not planned is READY to be a father. And I see people planning on getting a child for years and then leaving them. I can't tell if he's ready to have one, gladly Helm knows better what kind of a father you will turn out to be.

I think this is great news for you, there's always the shock, it doesn't mean you would be bad in the future. It's not easy for you, and certainly not for her unless she always wanted one with you. I think it's completely normal, the way you're feeling. It'll all turn out great! Congrats!!!

Helm · Wed 13/09/2006 13:56:07

yes gladly I'm not here to always say the easiest thing to someone on a forum just because it doesn't really concern me.

Peder 🚀 · Wed 13/09/2006 14:53:26

Congratulations!!!!

Hmm your parents reminds me about mine and my girlfriends parents, (about not allowing sleeping in the same room).

Anyway, this will go great!

When you hold your little one it will all be great:D

Even for me only being an uncle, holding my brothers little baby made me glow of happyness.

Wish you all the luck and happyness!

Nikolas · Wed 13/09/2006 14:55:28

Quote from: Helm on Wed 13/09/2006 13:33:59
This isn't very sane. Live together for a year or two, I'd advise you.

I cannot believe I'm seeing this.

Sorry my friend but I would expect other members in the forum to be mor ereasilty available for advice (the parents). I somehow feel that someone with no experience to be giving ill advice, no matter how sane it may sound.

11 months is not a little time, either.

And anyway I doubt that Terran came here asking for advice, even if his post was a bit like that. It sounds to me that he was "reporting" something, or giving us the good news, than anything else.

There is no doubt that it takes responisbility and caring and love, and practice, and financial problems will come up and everything else, and certainly there is no point in cuttling terrna in his back, saying it's going to be fine and all that, but on the other hand what are you trying to do, exactly? Making him feel bad?

And btw, who are you exactly to say to someone, even over the internet, that they are inresponsible, and that they're not ready to be fathers? Do you know that he's not ready to be a father? Do I knwo that he is ready to be a father? (I don't know that, but I'm not making comments on that either, you are!)

PS: I have no idea what your last post means exaclty. Honestly I don't understand it. Your glad that you're not here to always say the easiest thing... because it doesn't really concern you.

Then why the post?

Note to everybody: This deserves a post and not a PM so that Terran can read this!

Meowster · Wed 13/09/2006 14:57:18

Then look at this: http://www.videosift.com/story.php?id=371

CaptainBinky · Wed 13/09/2006 15:09:43

I'm 28 and don't have kids. I honestly don't think I'm ready for them - I still feel like I'm 18 or something. However, as I get older, the more I suspect that the point at which you grow up is when you have kids, not before. Suddenly there is a requirement on you to be responsible etc.

So I wouldn't feel bad about not feeling 'ready'. I doubt that anybody ever is, not in their heart of hearts. I'm sure that once the baby is born and you take your first look at it and officially become a 'dad', then all these worries will drift away and before you know it, you're a wonderful parent.

Good luck!

Cap'n Binky

Helm · Wed 13/09/2006 15:16:19

QuoteSorry my friend but I would expect other members in the forum to be mor ereasilty available for advice (the parents). I somehow feel that someone with no experience to be giving ill advice, no matter how sane it may sound.

I don't understand why that is. He posts here and anyone that feels they have something interesting, helpful or funny to say, they do so. This isn't your 'ONLY PEOPLE WITH CHILDREN ALLOWED TO COMMENT ON A POTENTIAL MISTAKE I'M MAKING, THANKS' thread. You have children, Vince has children, SSH has children. Get over it.

Quote11 months is not a little time, either.

Are you serious? To make a family on? I've been best buddies/best lovers with people for some months and now we hate each other's guts. I'm not the only one. 11 months are an EXTREMELY SHORT TIME to start a family on.

Quote
And anyway I doubt that Terran came here asking for advice, even if his post was a bit like that. It sounds to me that he was "reporting" something, or giving us the good news, than anything else.

This isn't the TERRAN RICH MIND-CONTROL AND GIRLFRIEND ANNOUNCEMENT BOARD. It's a discussion board. People discuss.

Quotebut on the other hand what are you trying to do, exactly? Making him feel bad?

I am giving him a different perspective, Nikolas. One that will be useful to him because if he can't own up to it and stand it, he's better off not being a dad. Can you understand how much more useful this is than telling him 'oh, it's going to be tough, but you'll get through it!' and patting him on the back is? HE HASN'T HAD THE BABY YET. HE ISN'T MARRIED YET. He's discussing possibilities. And these are open still.

QuoteAnd btw, who are you exactly to say to someone, even over the internet, that they are inresponsible, and that they're not ready to be fathers? Do you know that he's not ready to be a father? Do I knwo that he is ready to be a father? (I don't know that, but I'm not making comments on that either, you are!)

Who are you to tell him he is ready to be a father over the internet, you silly, silly person?

Nikolas · Wed 13/09/2006 15:26:25

Quote from: Helm on Wed 13/09/2006 15:16:19
I don't understand why that is. He posts here and anyone that feels they have something interesting, helpful or funny to say, they do so. This isn't your 'ONLY PEOPLE WITH CHILDREN ALLOWED TO COMMENT ON A POTENTIAL MISTAKE I'M MAKING, THANKS' thread. You have children, Vince has children, SSH has children. Get over it.

So next time I'll see you chating with a girl about her first period maybe

?

I'm not saying that you sholdn't discuss or post, but maybe that you should be more careful on how you post, and how you express your opinions. I don't expect to give advice on graphics and when I do I always mention that the person taking the advice be aware that maybe the advice could be ill. Maybe you should do the same instead of being so negative and 'forceful' all the time.

Quote
Who are you to tell him he is ready to be a father over the internet, you silly, silly person?

If you do read my post better, you may find a line somewhere saying, "Do I knwo that he is ready to be a father? (I don't know that, but I'm not making comments on that either, you are!)". Does this make sense to you?

Moreover I never called you any names, publicly or privately. You might want to be more careful on how you speak, especially to me, and for me! Either way PMs are here for a reason, I didn't use it, because I felt that Terran needed to see this. How calling me a silly, silly person, will help Terran in absolutely any way? How is this post going to help him in any any way?

and BTW, since I saw it just now and decided to pay attention:

QuoteVince... SSH has children. Get over it.

Say what now? You've got to be kidding right?

Quote

Becky · Wed 13/09/2006 16:31:08

Being somewhat terrified of ever having kids myself, I can somewhat sympathise with the sudden shock of discovering that you're going to be a parent out of the blue. However, I'm sure that everything will work out okay as long as you work at it together. Just don't do anything stupid, okay?

Andail · Wed 13/09/2006 19:02:04

Well good luck.
Most of your threads so far have been about sex and hypnotising women and magically reading their minds. I hope you'll use all of your superpowers to make sure the kid turns out sane and happy.