Critique my Song - New song 14/6 omg

[Andail]

Thanks again, people. The possitive feedback surprises me

Oz, yeah well that's a problem I always have; I don't plan my songs very well, I just start recording and verses tend to pile up rather repeatedly. I think it's because I'm more of a singer/songwriter kind of person (and not very much of that either, truthfully) than a studio guy or big band composer, and I lack imagination when it comes to orchestral arrangements.
But I really should try to include some sort of variation, maybe a bridge, maybe a guitar solo or something.

Greg, thanks for your support. Feel free to explain both layers and breathing techniques further!

Evil, that was pretty interesting, and I see your point. I like your experimental take on this! I do indeed agree that my voice is a weak link. God knows how many times I've considered engaging a good singer for my creations, but then my music has never been my prime occupation and such projects have always died.
It was interesting to hear your version with more subtle chord - what's it called in English? Nuances? (7's and 9's and sus etc). It was a brand new song, but it was nice

[Nikolas]

God knows how many times I've considered engaging a good singer for my creations, but then my music has never been my prime occupation and such projects have always died...

More of curiosity and sadness maybe, what will happen then to this song? Reach it's potential from you and then die away?

I would honestly BUY this track. (and the madrigal actually. If you remember I eve tried to make a remake of the track (and failed people...)). I'm not saying that you should consider a career in music, but that maybe bring the songs to a better level (or maybe collaborate with people to make them better?). I'm pretty sure that here in AGS (since, as you can see, you have many fans now) people who know a bit of things would love to help you out, no AGSers?

[Evil]

Evil, that was pretty interesting, and I see your point. I like your experimental take on this! I do indeed agree that my voice is a weak link. God knows how many times I've considered engaging a good singer for my creations, but then my music has never been my prime occupation and such projects have always died.
It was interesting to hear your version with more subtle chord - what's it called in English? Nuances? (7's and 9's and sus etc). It was a brand new song, but it was nice

I'm not saying your voice is a weak link. There are just a lot of different things going on at once with the vocals that make it seem, not bad, just out of place. Your accent on top of some little intonation issues, doubled and panned, with melody that  changes pace. It's a lot happening, and not a lot of time to take it all in. Not saying that it's all bad, but it just sounds bad. It's sort of like everyone soloing at once. They all may be awesome solos, but if they're not doing close to the same thing at the same time, there are some misplaced notes and "accidentals" that are a pain to the ear.

As for the progression, I couldn't quite figure out what was being played, so I went with basic power chords. Still couldn't find the second chord, so I made one up. I think it's a Dm/F.

D5, Dm/F (x655xx), G5, C5, G5, C5, G5, F5, D5

[Venus]

I'm not saying your voice is a weak link. There are just a lot of different things going on at once with the vocals that make it seem, not bad, just out of place. Your accent on top of some little intonation issues, doubled and panned, with melody that  changes pace. It's a lot happening, and not a lot of time to take it all in. Not saying that it's all bad, but it just sounds bad. It's sort of like everyone soloing at once. They all may be awesome solos, but if they're not doing close to the same thing at the same time, there are some misplaced notes and "accidentals" that are a pain to the ear.

I absolutely do NOT agree to that. I totally love your voice on this track, Andail, and would urge you not to change it. For me the way you sing it creates the whole charm of the song. It makes it unusual, unconventional and a bit whacky, but everything in a very good way imo. I agree that the arrangement could use some more work, but apart from that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I'd love to hear more from you as I'm listening to this one practically non-stop. Keep it up! 

[Pet Terry]

Hehe, it reminds me of older Lemon Demon tracks! Not lyrically perhaps, but the melodies and backing vocals sound very similar. I remember some of your older songs and I must say this is a great improvement. I personally like your voice, but I kinda agree with Evil on that the vocals sound a bit... how to say it... messy? Then again, I'm listening this on a laptop without proper speakers or headphones, it probably sounds much different with better speakers.

Also, as you said yourself, some variation would be good. But overall I do like it and you're doing well, just keep it up.

[Andail]

Instead of spamming the lounge with new threads, I thought I'd squeeze this one in here.

New version of Morning Breaks. Some of you might have heard it before, in other versions.
Note that this is much less experimental than the previous piece in this thread, so expect something much more plain and ordinary, not to say cheesy.
The instrumental bridge is still unfinished - I lack some sort of solo there - so suggestions would be appreciated.

[Evil]

A lot less for me to bicker about on this one.

Mix sounds great. Harmonica could be a little warmer. Not to sure about the weird synth pad/orchestrated part. I think a piano would work just as well there.

As for the vocals (Oh, you knew it was coming), they sound great! During the first half of the song, there are a few parts where both sets of vocals are singing the same notes and one is slightly off. But other than that they're a'okay.

[Vel]

LOL, for a moment I thought 14/6 was the time signature.