Nemesis: Fusion's Revenge note: Im changing the main char look

[spc1208]

Story: Ron Torrington's father told him of stories about An ancient being in his family line that kill's or transforms you into a beast.  but it was just a story right?

Puzzles: 75%
Story90%
Animations: 85%
Overall Status: 80%

[ambientcoffeecup]

Alright lemme give you the honest truth, ACC breakdown on this shit.

Nemesis: Fusion's Revenge

Holy shit man, did you get this off the back of a cereal box? What a terrible name. I wanted to get this out the way first because I think names play a pretty heavy part in the selling of the game and this one really didn't sell it to me at all. I clicked on this topic pretty much just to say WHOA WHAT A BAD NAME FOR A GAME.

To stop you being disheartened though, disregard any advice I give. I'm generally just a dick about this stuff and after all who gives a shit about a NAME right?

I don't have a clue what is going on in that first screenshot. Like, is it a title screen? Is it a cinematic? Did you open up MS Paint and scribble some green around the screen?

Wait it's lazers right?

Story: Ron Torrington was In a happy marriage, he had kids and a good life, But one day something seen by many as impossible happened to him, He was visited by someone/something that goes by the name Nemesis, This being changed Ron forever, now he goes by the name Fusion.

Now uh. I don't get this at all. Like, He was a happy guy and then something that LOTS OF PEOPLE THINK IS IMPOSSIBLE HAPPENED. He was visited by a guy named Nemesis. Are we supposed to understand what this means or are you trying to be mysterious because the premise of your story is GUY MEETS A GUY AND CHANGES HIS NAME and I think you need to read some books on "How to Write Succesful Blurbs" because you really didn't sell it to me at all.

For your next please include the following information:

What is this impossible thing? Maybe you don't want to tell us, maybe you want to be MYSTERIOUS RIGHT? Leave off with some climatic effect, I understand that but pretty much you gotta give something before you can cut it short because NOT GIVING ANYTHING AT ALL is no incentive.

Leave out completely pointless statements like "Some shit happened and then he changed his name." Even if he did decide to go with a badass name like BUCKY O'HARE.

Features:
Sci-fi Character's
New Concept storyline
Great Midi Music
Animations

FEATURES:: Okay Great.

Sci-Fi Characters? Please explain how SCI-FI CHARACTERS differ from Characters in general or is it just because it's a sci-fi game?

NEW CONCEPT STORYLINE? What the hell is this? I don't even know what this means, it's like your grasping for features here and thought HEY I'LL MAKE SOMETHING UP THAT SOUNDS FLASHY. I GOT A STORYLINE RIGHT?

Great Midi Music. PLEASE let us be the judge of that yo.

Animations. I wouldn't expect less!?

I feel like I'm coming off really harsh here and I don't mean to be but I feel like you've provided nothing at all with this advertisement and I wanted to be honest with the stuff I was saying and honestly, this is pretty disappointing looking.

[pixelblink]

If all else fails with this game, at least we have ambientcoffeecup's wicked awesome breakdown to be entertained by. I could not have said it better!

[ambientcoffeecup]

Wow I feel really bad about posting that, I'm sorry.

[pixelblink]

Don't be sorry. You have a right to your opinion and as artists/game makers/human beings, we have to learn to cope with criticism and roll with it. There's not much point in starting a project that is riddled with FAIL all over it to begin with, isn't it? (Perhaps I'm the one who's being too harsh now?)

[spc1208]

Ok before anyone else bashes my hopes and dreams lol, Im just saying its just a game, and Im gonna go through with it no matter what even if all 6 billion people on the planet hate it, but I like the criticism makes me better, I'll learn from my mistakes or at least try, after all this is my first game, god lol

[ambientcoffeecup]

Good for you buddy! You show 'em who's boss!

[spc1208]

  I'm not trying to be stuck up dude, Im just trying to make a game, at least try it when its done.

[Matti]

I completely agree with coffee and pixel and I would say the same regarding Monsoon, your other 'project'.

The titles and the graphics don't appeal to me but that's not the point here. It's just that you offer games with three lines of story and dare to present features like "New Concept storyline" and a "promotional Inside look at the Games story" (a youtube 'video' where the already known three lines of story are being repeated).

1. Don't promise cool stuff, when there's nothing to show yet.

2. I understand that you're happy to have discovered AGS and are trying to make some adventures now. But perhaps leave it by trying for now. Animations are a necessity for any adventure, midi music is standard too and your graphics are very basic. Perhaps it's just a bit early to start several Game-in-production threads.

So try to develop stories and improve your art, but do NOT think that we're imperessed by some catchy words and so-called features. Like Ambientcoffeecup, I don't want to sound harsh too, this is supposed to be constructive criticism.

[spc1208]

thanxs, yeah I  should practice more

[dirk delshire]

Here's another Idea, While your practicing your art you can find some other artists, musicians, and programmers etc. to help you. If you absolutely have to make it all on your own that's fine too, but who knows you might be great at directing people on a project. But it is hard to sell an Idea to people you have to be a good story teller. 

[spc1208]

yeah, That would be cool