Post your drunkest stories here thread

[Phemar]

Hah... Thursday night was a night I'll never forget. I mean, remember o_O
We all got pretty drunk at my apartment then hit the town. I lost all my friends and woke up with a broken ankle and extremely bruised back. I have no recollection of the events between 9pm and 2:30 in the morning. What happened that night is a mystery to us all!

So has anyone else had any insane drunken stories? Share them here!

[Nacho]

Grundy, can I post what I did in Greece?

[Anian]

My friend got drunk with a few of us but then we decided to go to town and he fell asleep in the tram. We all got out on one station but nobody woke him up or remember him. Later we found out that some old friends of his from highschool met him in the tram (about 10 stations later) and took him to some bar...come to think of it, never seen him drunk again, must've been one hell of a night.

[Paper Carnival]

I only got drunk once. I was still in the army, having guard duty, when I had the brilliant idea to consume both bottles of Zivania that one of us sneaked in. I remember throwing the first bottle to the river, but I don't remember where the second one went In the beginning, I was the happiest man on earth; I started calling random people on the phone, saying something along the lines of "woohoo I'm drunk!", including my immediate superior who was out for the night. Then I started vomitting it all out, which wasn't fun at all.

Thankfully, I didn't get in trouble 8)

[Grundislav]

Grundy, can I post what I did in Greece?

Why are you asking my permission?  You're the one that peed on someone!

[Ubel]

I once drank a bottle of beer in under two hours. Well, half a bottle.

[Nacho]

Okay, Grundy!

I peed on Adam... and on Grundy, I think... I think I kissed someone in the lips, but I am not sure if I did... Although I am sure that if I did, it was not a girl.

Now, your turn, Berian.

[Stee]

At the start of the university year, as a dare, I peed into a pint glass. Then I was dared to get someone to drink it.

I passed off the watered down, second hand stella artois as carling that had been left on the radiator. 2 freshers drunk it.

I wasn't really drunk, think I'd had about 3 or 4. I think thats what worries.

[Scarab]

A month or so ago at a house party I woke up half naked, in a bathtub, handcuffed to it with several parts of the male anatomy drawn all over my face and torso...
good night that one 

[Haddas]

I wouldn't know. I've never drank anything as far as i can remember

[Krazy]

I once woke up in my bed dressed in my pajamas.

[AGA]

Now, your turn, Berian.

What happens at Mittens stays at Mittens.

[Mr Jake]

Now, your turn, Berian.

What happens at Mittens stays at Mittens.

Lets go have SEEEXXX SEEEXX RAWWWWWWR

[Phemar]

Haha funny stories. The thing that really kills me is that since I was with none of my friends that night, I'll never know what happened. Not till the day I die

[Stee]

Last year I bunked a day off work to go to Bath (a rather nice town in England), had a few beers, took the train back and we had an idea to get a bottle of bourbon. I don't remember getting home, I woke up the next day with cuts all over my face and hands, and had a brilliant excuse as to why I was absent when I returned to work 2 days later.

As a great yellow man once said: "Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems" 

[cuestaluis]

I have slept in bars, taxi-surfed, ridden a dumpster, bathed in national monuments, and kicked sprinklers on the street (my natural enemies) all in the same day. While I don't remember most of this magical journey (mainly Jack Daniel's fault) there's much photographic evidence, courtesy of my various, less drunk friends.
The funny thing is, they said I left them at 6:00AM, although I got home at 2:30PM, and the last place we were in is actually 10 minutes walking distance from my home, and I got there with my cash and clothes intact!!
The most reasonable answer I've gotten was I bar-hopped alone (?) somewhere else, I guess I'll never know for sure...

[Ishmael]

This doesn't quite qualify for insane, but somewhat odd and unfortunate. Had a fun night out with a friend, spent a lot of time in some nice bars and had a great time generally, then on the way to his place where I was crashing we got some food off the grill. Next morning, I woke up in my bed, remembering the night before up to the very vague image of us stumbling towards the front door with the food in transit. Reports say I ate it and went to bed. The only thing I'm not happy with is I know the food from that grill was rather excellent, but I don't remember eating it.

[Darth Mandarb]

A waitress brought me a free drink one time ... about 10 minutes later everything went black.  I have little flashes of memory the rest of the night (singing "Brown Eyed Girl" on the karaoke stage, the car door as I tried to open it (not driving), the exit sign off the express way, the side of my house (I am guessing I decided to have a piss on the side of the house for some reason), and then my pillow rushing towards my head very fast as I passed out.  I awoke the next day with [one of] the worst hangovers in history!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you get roofied (among other things).

Luckily my tooshy was not sore and my wallet was still full so I am sure I wasn't raped and/or robbed.  My friend was with me so he basically kept an eye on me (though apparently I hid my near-comatose state very well as he didn't know it was as bad as it was)

I went back and asked the waitress about it (she was a 'friend' (sort of - we were at this bar all the time and we knew this waitress)) and she said the drink had been for another table of girls and they had left so she offered it to me.  She said she explained this to me when she gave it to me but I was already pretty drunk so I didn't remember.  I was kind of hoping she had done it to me on purpose 'cause she was totally hot (though I'd rather remember her taking advantage of me).

Needless to say, from that day till now, I do not accept drinks that I didn't order.

[LimpingFish]

I don't drink enough to get drunk.

I don't think I've ever been close to falling down-puke shirted-"Are those my feet?"-drunk. That's probably because I don't tend to drink much socially. I had a pint of Guinness when we went to The Swan at Brittens (not to mention a can of suspicious beer back at Berian's house), but that was more down to the fact that I was the token Irish person and it's more or less expected of us.

I was a little weebles-wobbles once, after four pints of Stella Artois, but that's the closest I've ever come.

[monkey0506]

Years ago my (now ex-) stepfather got pretty drunk and beat the hell out of me for saying, "Sorry for having a glass of water in my room...excuse me for being thirsty while doing my homework." Sure I was being a smart alec...but he overreacted just a bit.

More recently I had a roommate which I found on Craigslist. Terrible idea, don't recommend it to anyone. But I was desperate...I can't afford a 3-bedroom apartment by myself. Moving on though, I set the rule that there would be no drinking in the apartment. If you want to drink...do it in a bar. That was the rule when they moved in. Within two months they blatantly ignored that rule twice. On both incidents they became extremely physical and although they didn't physically assault me, they did put the safety of my personal belongings in jeopardy. They nearly took out a window with the TV remote; came close to breaking my phone; almost ripped my phone's charger apart; and so forth...

You may be catching onto a pattern in my "drunk" experiences here. I made the decision myself long ago never to drink alcohol. I don't hold it against anyone who does. In fact one of my current roommates (a friend of mine from school) had a much more light-hearted drunk story.

A friend of ours was over and my roommate was quite drunk. He sort of stumbled, and caught ahold of our friend before they both fell to the floor. This turned into a rather humorous wrestling match. If you've never seen a drunk and a sober man wrestling each other...and the sober man losing...I highly recommend it!

Anyway, that's what I've got.