The Mithology of Airen - RPG history

[Jakerpot]

Hey everyone! I'm creating a very complex history for an upcoming RPG.

Please, there are MANY english errors, but consider my native language is NOT english, it is portuguese, that is tottaly different from english.

The history starts in the present and the it star to look back till the time of the creation of everything. Please, i beg you to ignore the english errors (but point some -the most bizarre ones- to me if you want).

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Isunmad is a small town located in east of Yanmad Forest.
Isunmad is a very quiet and peacefull place. The place was
marked by a misterious disappearance of it's population 6037 years ago.
Some say that the people were taken by monsters from the sea that were
taken from their natural habitat by the people of Isunmad to the
forest immediately after they were discovered.

There is a secret cult in the city of Isunmad that is spreading fear
among the people of Isunmad. The cult meets in a secret cave
that is located 2 km away from Isunmad in a mountain called
Devil's Hole by the Isunmad livers. Isunmad's population believes that
the cultists are calling Zuhul ('u-hal') from his eternal rest in
the Great Sea.

Zuhul is the main character from a myth told by the elders of Naesth.
In the myth, Zuhul was a great monster living in the sea. The
origin of the monster is unknown, but the elders believe that he came
from space to the world of Airen to destroy all living
creatures to satisfy his Desire of blood. The Desire of
blood of Zuhul is a curse created by Nefratus (Devil, the Great
Demon) to imprison Zuhul, so he would be Nefratus slave and
do every task of destruction he would order Zuhul. But history
says that Zuhul accumulated too much power after killing all the
planets Nefratus ordered, and then he killed Nefratus and be
his prisioner no more, so he could destroy everything he wanted
and the curse would be over, but as the feeling of power was
satisfying, Zuhul continued killing every planet he wanted.

This would explain the fact that every night a star in the sky
disappeared aproximately 9000 years ago, in the eldest times.

But the legend says that when Zuhul came to destroy Arien (9000
years ago), something stop Zuhul, and he fell in the Great Ocean.
From that day, he is waiting for his call, lying in the ocean.
The myth says that Zuhul shipwrecked a whole island when he
touched Airen. That island is called G'asi, and it existence was
never confirmed.

The origin of the myth is unknow, but historians believe that the
myth was created by the elders to explain some unexplained effects
in the sea. And to scare the children to make them stay away from
the sea.

The elders could have created the myth, or they could've lived it. Even
the more skeptic scientists know that the myth is in someway, somehow
true...

Before Zuhul killed Nefratus, Nefratus was the main destroyer, he
was the Devil. Now Zuhul is, for the believers, the most powerfull
evil creature. He is known as Death or Death Bringer in some
cultures, mainly in the western countries. Zuhul is also known as
the Soul Tourturer in the Neja'n culture.Zuhul means Death from
Above in Sind'räd language, also known as the Elder's Language.

Old expeditions in the middle of the Great Ocean had some unexpected
results, such as the discovery of ancient ruins. The ruins
where shipwrecked aproximately 20000 years ago, which strengthens the
affirmations of skeptics that Zuhul is just a legend.

Zuhul is presented as World Eater in ancient Tairän temples of the
highest mountains of Arien, located in the North pole. The Tairän
people are known as the first-borns, they where created by the god
Häl, The Sculptor, or The Life Giver in the Neja'n culture.

Häl created the Tairäns to inhabit Airen, the planet created by
Ytare'n, The Creator (he is called the same way in all cultures).
When the Tairäns began to reproduce, the population started to
grow, and all the ninth generation of the Tairäns was sent to
populate the south of the planet, where the Tairäns have feared to go.

The ninth generation of the Tairäns was called Ujimn, also called
the Eldests. The Eldests were the first race that humans had
contact with. The Neja'n race was created by Häl to mix the Ujimn's
inteligence with the beauty and hand skills of the Neja'ns, creating
the human race. The human race is known as an 'unpure' race, as it
is the only race that wasn't created directly by Häl. The Tairän
had misteriously vanished from Airen 10090 years after their
creation. The disappearance of the Tairäns is explained by believers as
the first of Zuhul's attempts of destorying the planet.

The believers say that Zuhul landed at the north pole of the planet
and eated every Tairän on it. The Tairäns where alerted by Ytare'n
that Zhulu could attack the planet in some years to come, as Zhulu had
destroyed every planet in the Early Space (the Early Space is the
name given by Ytare'n to define all the planets that where before
Airen in the universe).

The power of Häl and Ytare'n isolated wasn't suficient to stop Zuhul,
and they weren't able to unite their powers as they weren't a
single energy force, but a divided energy force.

Zuhul wasn unable to kill the remaining races of Airen because
all of them were located too far away from the North pole, and the
planet wasn't destroyed because of the high concentration of mass and
energy in the North pole. The first Zuhul attack could explain the
expansion to the South pole and the transition of energy of it to the
center of the planet, but the skeptics claim that the energy was
moved by Häl to stabilize the rotation of the planet in its orbit.

Zuhul attempted to destroy the planet, but the high concentration of
energy of the North pole launched him back into space. Zuhul then
created anger of Airen, and he promissed that he would destroy Airen
when he got enough power to unstabilize the main source of energy of
it.

The Tairäns had an outstanding knowledge of the nature of the
planet and of the stars too. What the Tairäns didn't know is
about the oceans. The oceans were a mistery to the Tairäns, that
had never traveled over it, fearing its rage. The ocean was
the entrance to the underground level of Airen, where the energy that
moves the planet and heats it is located. When the energy was
located in the North pole, the highest mountain was the entrance to
the underground. But now the entrance is locked by a mysterious
force.

After the vanishment of the Tairäns, the other races never had another
contact with Häl or Ytare'n. The Neja'ns went south and east,
populating the jungles of the east. The Ujimns went through the
mountains to the west, and there they created their civilization inside
and uppon the mountains. The Neja'ns created their houses on the top
of and within the trees. Some recent Neja'n cities have been created beneath
the ground or suspensed above cliffs. The humans went to the center of
Airen, into the plains.

The Ujimns treat the humans as inferior creatures, and they are not
welcome in their domain as they are not 'holy creatures'. But the
Neja'ns respect the humans as their children, so the humans are very
welcome. The Ujimns are a rancorous race, because they feel they where
rejected by the Tairëns, which is not true.

With expeditions of the humans and Neja'ns to the north, the two races
went together to create another race, a race that could resist very
cold temperatures; the Björns. The creation of the Björns brought the
human and Nejan's races closer together.

With the creation of the Björns, the Ujimns created even more rage towards
the humans and started having rancour of the Nejan's. The Ujimns then
started to be more and more religious, and they started to be even more
rigid, burning the Neja'n and human works and cursing them all. The
Ujimns started the first war of Airen; the War of the Races, as
called by the humans and Desorder of the Races, as called by the Neja'ns.
The Björns helped the humans and the Neja'ns in the war, but they where
almost extinct by the Ujimns.

The Ujimns have lost the war, but their army has grown and they striked again
in the Second War of the Races, or in the Second Disorder of the Races.

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Comment please! I want feedback!  

[SSH]

Ai Ren is Chinese for "husband or wife"

[Stupot]

It also means 'pity' in Japanese...

As for the story.  It started off quite an interesting story, but I have to admit, I started getting so bogged down in all the fantasy place and people names that I just zoned out and couldn't finish reading it.  But I liked where it was going.  Maybe I'll have another go at reading it in the morning after a cup of coffee.

[Jakerpot]

Yeah, the names are hell confusing but you know, this is actually a personal text you can play the game without knowing the whole story. Anian sent me a text without some mistakes, i will read it and i shall update the text soon

It is something like The Silmarillion, you don't need to read it to understand the Lord of the Rings, but if you do it will increase your immersion in the universe of it 

Thank you for your feedback so far!

[Tuomas]

I think, for an introduction text, it's taken a bit too far. I actually liked it until the end. Yeah, there are a lot of funny names, most of them seem like clichés everything from c'tulhu to borrowed names like björn (bear in Swedish). I imagined a whole world, a huge map with a lot of nyances and a neverending story of a renegade. And a hope of a wider world than what they use in these Salvatore books I translate. But then there's a war after 10000 years? I mean, our world couldn't stay peaceful for 20 years, never. And was the world not inhabitet before the oohs and the aahs came? And yeah, the war... I think a war's nice for tendency, but it still makes a dull and an unoriginal scenery. Too close to the first Dragonlance trilogy ond the überhuge plot it had

[Andail]

With expeditions of the humans and neja'ns to the north, the two races
went together to create another race, a race that could resist very
cold temperatures; the Björns. The creation of the björns made the
human and nejan's races closer.

This is hilarious for a Swedish reader. As Tuomas said, björn in Swedish means bear, but the phonology of the word combined with the english -s plural ending make it sound absolutely hilarious. I actually laughed out loud, literally.

[Tuomas]

I couldn't imagine the race combined with human that would come out as a bear

[Jakerpot]

Actually, i don't speak swedish  

Well, i don't even know what Dragonlace is, and the björns are not humanoid bears  

I will consider in changing some names and the question about the war too. This is not an introductory text!!! I'm working on the full story (ok, not the full-full story, but the beggining of it all) just to have all the base i need to make the game in the future.

Ai ren is not Airen, right?  

I'm very happy for all your feedback, and i'm reading the version anian sent me, so i will update the original post soon...

EDIT: I updated it. Actually, 'Ktchult' is nothing but an inattention of mine (OMG, did i wrote that right?), i wanted to write 'Zuhul' instead  

Also, try to read 'Zuhul' sounding like 'U-hal', it will be easier to understand the language later if you want.

YEAH, i will create an unique language to each race and culture (only not for the ones that are derived from other races). I will also create a map with all the important regions and stuff. Keep sending feedback!!

ALSO! I'm thinking in change the name 'Björn' to 'Borinor' or 'Berinör' or 'Beringör'. What do you think about it?

[auriond]

Ai ren is not Airen, right?  

It is sometimes romanised as Airen, because it's a single word/phrase made up of two characters. Do with that what you will

[Jakerpot]

God dammit 

Ok, but i will not change Airen, i think it's a nice name to a fantasy world. Isn't it?

PS: Do you guys speak japanese?

[Andail]

It's mandatory for an AGS member to speak Swedish and Japanese fluently.

You're scheduled for the aptitude test in May.

[discordance]

Tack och lov för Google Translate.

[Jakerpot]

It's mandatory for an AGS member to speak Swedish and Japanese fluently.

You're scheduled for the aptitude test in May.

No prob, i learned it yesterday.