Corrupting the minds of youth...

Technocrat · Wed 15/12/2010 13:54:11

In the real world, when I have to pry myself away from my computer/internet, I'm an English teacher in South Korea, for ages 4-15. I'm not at a state school, just a private school, where everything's done in English. Part of my job, aside from filling malleable young minds with Anglophone cultural imperialism, is giving them English names. They come to us with Korean names, and we give them something they can eventually use in the big wide world, or just use in class.

When I do it, I like to have a running theme, or at least a sense of humour about it. In my 10 year old class, two best friends joined - they are now "Sam and Max". I have one class with all the boys named after books of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). I've been naming another class after members of the British royal family (Elizabeth, Zara, Peter, Andrew, Charles, etc). They like those ones, they think it's dead posh.

"But Technocrat," I hear you cry, "using hilarious systems of naming is monstrous!" some complain. However, having worked here, I can tell you it's a better way of naming than their other options. After all, if the parents choose their English names for them, we end up with six Jennifers in one class, a boy called Lickey (who lives up to that name, though I'm not sure if that's just nominative determinism), and a whole host of misspellings. If we let them name themselves, we end up with boys with names like Dragon and Dinosaur (one of the other teachers let them get away with those ones), and a five year old called "Racing Car". I wasn't going to argue with that one, it's an awesome name.

The school's about to have a huge redevelopment/intake, which means at least 40 new students and a lot of new classes for me. However, that also means a lot of kids without names, so I wondered what kinds of names (or even themes) you'd care to suggest! My Ameican coworkers at the school have no sense of humour about the matter, but the other Brits tend to choose names on a similarly colourful basis!

Also, here's an eldritch abomination courtesy of Kevin in my Kindergarten class. When he grows up, he wants to be a police car.

kaputtnik · Wed 15/12/2010 14:25:05

Have you considered rock bands already? I'd love to see young Joey, Tommy, Dee Dee and Johnny Ramone re-incarnated as kindergarten troublemakers. Or take one of your favourite novels. I'd call the kids Mack, Eddie, Hazel and Dora after John Steinbeck's Cannery Row any day.

Or, to get a whole bunch of kids in one batch, use a group of people like the Seattle Seven (as referred to in The Big Lebowski). Michael, Jeff, Joe, Susan, Charles, Roger...all good, sturdy names!

Or how about this list: http://www.retireat21.com/blog/the-most-successful-college-dropouts-in-history# ?

Not too many girls' names on there, regrettably. You can still resort to this list here! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_computing

Anian · Wed 15/12/2010 14:33:17

Wow, this is such a strange fact to learn...I'm sorry, but why do they have to have english names and not...well their "normal" names? I'm pretty sure there were people with names that were given in sport events etc. ...is stuff like "Kim" also made up?

Dualnames · Wed 15/12/2010 14:37:00

Let them name themselves after superheroes!

kaputtnik · Wed 15/12/2010 14:41:38

I know Korean or Cantonese people who of course do have their "real names", but to make it easier to be remembered and recognized in business/science they also have English names. "Janice" is easier to remember for anybody from a "western" cultural context than "Teo Hui Ching" (which is also a transcription, of course, and arranged in an arbitrary way).

Because the concept of "first name" and "last name" is also something that does not always easily apply to Asian naming culture and tradition, some might really find it easier to just adopt an English name for simplicity's sake, I guess.

Anian · Wed 15/12/2010 14:52:33

Yeah, perhaps it's easier, but I also kind of feel offended, like "stupid western can't comprehend our culture or remember 3 words that make up my name so we'll simplify it for him"...

Btw I'd hold an offer for some parents for certain names like "Batman" is $50 and similar. If I were a parent and had the chance to make all the teachers call my son Batman, I'd pay for that.

Technocrat · Wed 15/12/2010 15:51:54

Quote from: anian on Wed 15/12/2010 14:33:17
Wow, this is such a strange fact to learn...I'm sorry, but why do they have to have english names and not...well their "normal" names? I'm pretty sure there were people with names that were given in sport events etc. ...is stuff like "Kim" also made up?

One could argue that all names are made up, originally! It was certainly a surprise of a responsibility I wasn't expecting when I got here, but having an English backup name is something the parents expect/demand when they send them to a school like this. I have a Korean backup name as well, for when people can't differentiate some of the sounds in my regular name (j/ch, d/t, k/g etc).

I remember most of my kids' Korean names, but it doesn't help that half of them are called Kim-something, and I would have ten Kim Yu Jins in my classes if they didn't have their English names too.

Ponch · Wed 15/12/2010 16:02:30

Quote from: Technocrat on Wed 15/12/2010 13:54:11
a five year old called "Racing Car". I wasn't going to argue with that one, it's an awesome name.

Damn it! Why didn't my parents name me "Racing Car"!?! Instead I have to go through life being called Scott by everyone. I'm going to write mom a very angry letter tonight!

Dualnames · Wed 15/12/2010 16:07:42

Quote from: Ponch on Wed 15/12/2010 16:02:30
Quote from: Technocrat on Wed 15/12/2010 13:54:11
a five year old called "Racing Car". I wasn't going to argue with that one, it's an awesome name.

Damn it! Why didn't my parents name me "Racing Car"!?! Instead I have to go through life being called Scott by everyone. I'm going to write mom a very angry letter tonight!

Hey, stop making excuses to get off the pc and not work on Barn Runner! Get back to work Scott!

Technocrat · Wed 15/12/2010 16:12:17

Quote from: Ponch on Wed 15/12/2010 16:02:30
Quote from: Technocrat on Wed 15/12/2010 13:54:11
a five year old called "Racing Car". I wasn't going to argue with that one, it's an awesome name.

Damn it! Why didn't my parents name me "Racing Car"!?! Instead I have to go through life being called Scott by everyone. I'm going to write mom a very angry letter tonight!

Ah, but his parents didn't name him Racing Car, he named himself that! There's still hope for you yet!

Ponch · Wed 15/12/2010 16:20:37

Quote from: Dualnames on Wed 15/12/2010 16:07:42
Hey, stop making excuses to get off the pc and not work on Barn Runner! Get back to work Scott!

That's Racing Cow to you, buddy! And I don't have time to work on my game. I'm at work, damn it. I only have time to post on the internet!

And thanks, Technocrat, for empowering me. When my kids come back from gym class, I'm going to make them all call me Mr. Racing Cow. They are small children, so I expect they'll have no problems with this at all.

Also, why don't you just name them after superhero secret identities. Bruce. Clark. Logan. And throw in some Star Wars names too. Lando Kim has a hell of a nice ring to it, don't you think?

- Racing Cow

monkey0506 · Wed 15/12/2010 16:29:34

I demand that you start naming them after Digimon. Wikipedia should be helpful.

P.S. If you're not familiar with Digimon..all of the monsters' names end in "-mon". So keep that in mind while looking for names.

Dualnames · Wed 15/12/2010 16:51:39

Quote from: Ponch on Wed 15/12/2010 16:20:37
Quote from: Dualnames on Wed 15/12/2010 16:07:42
Hey, stop making excuses to get off the pc and not work on Barn Runner! Get back to work Scott!

That's Racing Cow to you, buddy! And I don't have time to work on my game. I'm at work, damn it. I only have time to post on the internet!

- Racing Cow

Sorry Racing Cow. I didn't mean to hit it on you. It's that trailer, that awesome trailer that can't allow me to breathe when I think about its awesomeness!!

Mati256 · Wed 15/12/2010 17:16:36

Have you used TV series? Friends, House, Big bang theory.

Technocrat · Wed 15/12/2010 17:17:11

Quote from: Ponch on Wed 15/12/2010 16:20:37
Also, why don't you just name them after superhero secret identities. Bruce. Clark. Logan. And throw in some Star Wars names too. Lando Kim has a hell of a nice ring to it, don't you think?

- Racing Cow

One of the other teachers has already gotten the drop on me for secret identities. Her class has Bruce, Clark and Peter, and I think "Tony" is next on her list.

Dave Gilbert · Wed 15/12/2010 21:03:13

Fun! When I taught in South Korea we did, indeed, have several Jennifers in each class. That seemed to be incredibly popular. I divided them up into Jens, Jennys, and Jennifers. One class had so many I had to call one of them "Nif." Not as popular as Jennifer but still pretty popular was Sarah, Mike, and Steve. Some of the names baffled me. There was one kid who called himself Shrek, another who called himself Ghost. No Race Car though. That would have been awesome.

It was rare that I got to name the kids, myself. Although several years ago I worked for a Chinese company and went to China for business. One time, this lady at the office over there asked me for an English name, and since her Chinese name (which I forget) started with a hard "T" sound, I suggested Tara. The next day, the sign on her office door said "Tara Lu" and she had business cards with "Tara Lu" on them and I was receiving emails from "Tara Lu." This was eight years ago, and we still keep in touch sometimes. She recently sent me her wedding pictures and the name on the invitation said "Tara." I felt oddly proud.

Gabriel_Down · Wed 15/12/2010 21:22:21

That's just sad.

ThreeOhFour · Wed 15/12/2010 23:46:57

Sad? I spent much of this thread chuckling.

But then, I used to get called (and still do, occasionally) ThreeOhFour by people (including my Maths teacher

), which is a name chosen for me.

Gabriel_Down · Thu 16/12/2010 02:20:48

Changing your name from Korean to an english one is not the same as having a nickname. It doesn't derive from the same needs and certainly does not have the same impact.

ThreeOhFour · Thu 16/12/2010 02:37:14

But sometimes nicknames are taken to the point where people's original names are never used anymore, how is this different? I had a friend at school named Craig that everybody called Frankie - friends, teachers, family. He referred to himself as Frankie almost all the time. One day he rang me up and said "Hey Ben, it's Craig" and I spent about 10 minutes thinking "Wait, I don't even know anybody called Craig!" before I recognized his voice and realized it was Frankie. Whose name is/isn't Craig.

I don't see how this is different to being in possession of both an English and Korean name. Heck, if someone gave me a name from their own language, I'd gladly call it my own when dealing with them. I understand the reason for division on the issue, but still don't see it as a problem, just a peculiarity.

In other news, the strangest first name I have ever come across was the name "Goondy". Yes, his parents called him that.