Fortnightly Writing Competition - ... and double that! (until 18. June 2025)

[Sinitrena]

... and double that!


Welcome to the next round of the Fortnightly Writing Competition.

This round, we think in doubles. Your job is it to write a story that contains something that is doubled in one way or the other. It could be a story about twins, a doppleganger, a bill that is unexpectedly double the expected - anything that is somehow twice as much as expected, in the widest interpretation possible. (Correction: whatever is doubled doesn't need to be unexpected.)

But that is not all. When we double something in the stories, why not double the stories as well? The challenge is to write a story of 200 to 600 words and then tell the same story again with double the number of words, always plus the title. (For example, your version 1 is 321 words, then your version 2 needs to be 642 words.) Obviously, the initial word limit does not apply for the second version.

Each version of the story should feel complete and should be able to stand on its own.

In short:
- Write a story where something is doubled.
- It should be between 200 and 600 words long.
- Write a second version of your story, with double the number of words.
- Deadline: 18. June

You will have 2 votes at the end, one for the short versions, one for the long versions. Depending on the number of entries, there will be 1st, 2nd, 3rd place votes per version.


Happy Writing!

[Mandle]

Ah, I think maybe the "write the same story again with double the words" might be better as an additional challenge, rather than mandatory. Maybe it could decide tiebreakers if it comes down to that?

Because, I for one, will NOT be writing the same story twice. Honestly, I can't imagine anything more tedious. Even writing the long version first and then paring it down to half means so much planned filler that it makes my head spin.

EDIT: After my initial response, I see there are ways to make this work and for it to be interesting for both the writer and the reader. All good. (The double-story part might still work better as an optional step, though)

[brushfe]

What a cool concept! I'd love to try a writing competition here. Thanks so much for creating such a creative challenge.

Two small questions:
1. Can the second story's additional words elaborate on the plot of the first, or does it have to retell exactly the same story?
2. To clarify, should the title of the second story also be double twice as long as the title of the first?

[Sinitrena]

Honestly, I can't imagine anything more tedious. Even writing the long version first and then paring it down to half means so much planned filler that it makes my head spin.

EDIT: After my initial response, I see there are ways to make this work and for it to be interesting for both the writer and the reader. All good. (The double-story part might still work better as an optional step, though)

I'm glad you see how it could work now. It's meant to challenge how we approach writing, how the length of a story shapes how we tell it.
Of course, I can't force anybody to give us two versions of their stories. (I could disqualify, but considering the number of entries we normally get, you know I won't do that.) But I told you how voting will work this round, so if you only write one version, you'll only be eligable for half the points. 

1. Can the second story's additional words elaborate on the plot of the first, or does it have to retell exactly the same story?

It can elaborate, of course. Otherwise, you would just add purple prose to the already existing skeleton of a story, that's not the point. But if you add too much additional content, the question becomes if it is still the same story. That's part of the challenge. So, choose wisely!

2. To clarify, should the title of the second story also be double twice as long as the title of the first?

I assumed the title would stay the same. It doesn't need to be doubled, but it can i you want to.

[Stupot]

I have already written a first draft of a 600-word story. Needs an edit but I'll have to leave it for today.

[brushfe]

Lejeune Landing

A peculiar case about a jon boat in the Louisiana bayous (reference).

This is a structure I've always wanted to try, I hope it's successful... Thanks for a great challenge and good luck to everyone!

Part 1 (600 words)

Spoiler

Cameron Parish Police Department
Incident: #2025-000246
Initial Report of Deputy Gabe Dupre, Badge #194
Location: Lejeune Landing, Cameron Parish, Louisiana
Submitted: July 5, 2025

CPPD received a call from the witness, William Pellerin, at 05:18 reporting "a female body in a jon boat" docked at what locals call "Lejeune Landing" just off LA 82. Witness advised to remain on scene until our arrival. CPPD officer Keith Vidrine was radioed to meet on scene.

I met Officer Vidrine on scene at 05:41. We interviewed the witness together. The victim was found as described, but more specifically: the body lay contored on a blue tarp, within an unmarked, grey/green, late model 10' flat aluminum skiff. Signs of struggle were evident in the victim's pose and appearance. The victim showed no vital signs.

Full witness testimony is attached. In summary, witness found the victim as he walked to his boat at the far end. Night watch was not present (this is a makeshift set of four docks on the inlet, with no marina office). Witness stated two other fishermen live on their boats, both moored on the near end, but he "didn't see nobody, not this morning, not last night." Officer Vidrine canvassed the boats but had no response, and did not find either of the individuals.

The jon boat was inspected, photographed, and catalogued. It will remain under tape overnight and towed to CPPD impound for forensic processing at 08:00 on July 6 (Bayou Black Towing, Truck #4).

Requested collection from Coroner.

Scene inventory list and photos attached. Map of the area and waterways also attached.

Signed and dated on reverse.


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Cameron Parish Coroner's Office
Preliminary Findings Report
PD Reference #2025-00246
Written for Deputy Gabe Dupre, Cameron Parish Police Department
July 5, 2025

As requested, we have fast-tracked our initial findings:

• Victim unofficially identified as Amber Arnaud (name featured in a tattoo on the left thigh).
• Estimated Time of Death: 10pm July 4 — 2am July 5.
• Preliminary signs of asphyxiation by force.
• Large contusion on back of head. Bruising on wrists, knuckles, knees, and feet.
• Tox indicates trace amounts of benzodiazepine; sent to LSU Forensic.

Deputy, I'm required to remind you this is strictly preliminary. All of the above is inadmissible until confirmed. Official report in due course.

EM


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Cameron Parish Police Department
Report of Officer Keith Vidrine, Badge #401
Addendum to Incident: #2025-000246
Submitted: July 6, 2025

Following the events of the Initial Report, July 5, I was stationed at the scene until 20:00, until relieved by Officer Landry for night watch. Nothing notable occurred during my watch. However, the weather had turned to a bluster by 16:00, and I was concerned about rain and its effect on the scene.

The next morning, on July 6th, I arrived to resume my post and to wait for towing. Landry reported nothing unusual during her watch. Neither fisherman had returned to their boat. Nobody else had arrived. The winds had kept up overnight, but there had been no rain.

However, when we inspected the scene again, Landry noticed that the blue tarp was missing from the boat. We performed an immediate search of the area, but were unsuccessful. No evidence of foot traffic or transportation. No other tampering was discovered. The two fishing boats, being residences, could not be searched without warrant.

Deputy Dupre was notified of the tampered scene. Following procedure, he contacted and updated Louisiana State Police. Captain Broussard arrived at approximately 17:30. He questioned myself and Officer Landry, who was recommended for suspension due to failing to keep proper watch over the scene.

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Part 2 (1200 words)

Spoiler

LOUISIANA STATE POLICE ACADEMY
Training and Testing Materials

SECTION 8.a: CRIMINAL COURT TESTIMONY

These excerpts are from real-world court testimony. The officer's exemplary performance is instructive in many ways. Cadets should aim for this level of professionalism and knowledge in their testimony.

Full transcript available on request.


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8.a.1  INTRODUCTIONS

Notice how precise the officer's replies are. This shows the jury that you are capable and experienced, which makes your testimony more credible.


Prosecutor (PR): Please identify yourself for the record.

LSP: Captain Jacob Broussard, LSP Criminal Investigations, Badge 737.

PR: And how are you attached to this case?

LSP: On July 6th, Cameron Parish PD requested assistance with a tampered crime scene. I arrived that same day.


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8.a.2  EXAMINATION

When the court wants specifics, you must be 100%. Inaccuracies are unacceptable in factual testimony.


PR: You may continue.

LSP: The scene was a row of four bayou docks, the sort of landing locals build themselves and use for shallow fishing. The focus was on a jon boat. Two days before—

PR: —The 5th of July—

LSP: Yes. CPPD received a call about a body in the jon boat.

PR: As stated in Deputy Dupre's testimony, this was the victim identified as Amber Arnaud.

LSP: The Coroner removed the body, and the boat remained in the water until the next—excuse me, July 6th—when the tow arrived.

PR: Why wasn't the boat removed immediately?

LSP: You'd have to ask Deputy Dupre. This was July long weekend. Tow trucks make a lot more money on the DUIs than pulling boats around for us.


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8.a.3  GIVING EVIDENCE

The officer knows he can only provide his opinion, and that experts will be called to verify his statements. So he uses a casual tone, to make his ideas sound like common sense to the jury.


PR: The Captain refers to Exhibit E, a photograph of the jon boat taken on July 6th.

LSP: You can see here the tarp is missing.

PR: Did you notice anything else in this "second boat"?

LSP: It was clean. Not a scratch on it. I'd say it'd been in the water two or three times. And in my view, the victim had never been inside it.

PR: Why not?

LSP: There wasn't a mark inside, either. In most cases, victims of strangulation do everything they can to fight back—kick, claw, wrestle, anything. Officer Landry recalled that the victim wore false nails and high heels when seen at a party. Those alone would leave a lot of signature in the tin.

PR: So what was your conclusion?

LSP: There was a second boat.


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8.a.4  SIMPLIFYING COMPLEXITY

Here, the officer's ability to simplify complexity was crucial in giving the jury a clear picture of the accused's actions.


PR: Could you explain this "double boat" theory again, in simpler terms?

LSP: Call them first boat and second boat. On July 5th, the body was discovered in the first boat. This boat sat in the water all day, under the guard of Officer Vidrine. That night, while Officer Landry was on watch, the first boat was replaced with the second, identical boat.

PR: Replaced? How does a boat get replaced?

LSP: Someone rowed it there.

PR: Captain Broussard, I asked for simple terms, not riddles.

LSP: Alright. I'll start over.

PR: Please.

LSP: On July 4th, the accused and Amber Arnaud were seen at a party in the Great Prairie RV park, a mile from the crime scene. Near dawn, they were seen leaving together. They traveled on foot to Lejeune Landing, where Cameron Parish confirms the accused owns and resides in the Southpaw, a fishing boat which was moored on the near end when CPPD arrived. At some point, Ms Arnaud was drugged with benzodiazepine. I believe that before the drugs took effect, Ms Arnaud tried to escape, but was caught by the accused around the jon boat.

PR: Why do you claim this happened before the drugs took effect?

LSP: The Coroner discovered only trace amounts of the drug in her system, so it's likely she saw what was happening. There were also no signs of sexual assault.

PR: Go on.

LSP: Ms Arnaud may have called for help, but the landing was empty at that time of morning. As in most cases, the accused would've turned to strangulation to stop her calling out. The contusion in the victim's head matches a dent in the first boat.

PR: We're back to the two boats.

LSP: Ms Arnaud lay on the tarp in the first boat, where CPPD has photographed clear signs of struggle in the aluminum and some blood. There was probably hair, fingerprints, and DNA from the accused, too. Knowing that the other fishermen would come at first light, the accused wouldn't have enough time to get rid of the boat. Instead, he'd have to hide it. If you show the photos—

PR: —the Captain refers to Exhibits J through N.

LSP: That's the hull of the first boat. That's the area under the tarp. Twelve punctures were made in the hull, and each hole filled with a weak epoxy. The weight of the body on the tarp created a temporary seal. When the body was removed, the seal broke, and the epoxy slowly gave way. Over the next twelve hours or so, the first boat sank, and the wind took the tarp out to the Gulf.

PR: The first boat sank? It's river, Captain, not quicksand. Surely you could still see it.

LSP: These waters aren't your bathtub. It's a roux. You can't see six inches down for all the mud. This river is only two feet deep here, plenty of space for a jon boat to sit on the bottom and you'd never know it. But that's what we found.

PR: What else did you find? On the Southpaw, the boat belonging to the accused?

LSP: Once we had warrants, we found diluted marine-grade epoxy that matched the remains on the first boat, and a rail spike hidden under the bed, which fit the hull punctures. A champagne bottle was also found, the kind served at the RV park party. And as you know, we found the accused, hiding in the locker. He didn't expect to be standing in there for so long.

PR: And finally, the second boat?

LSP: Sinking the first boat would've been enough. Every trace of the accused and the victim was gone. But the drilled holes would mean further investigation. The cover of the coming storm was a chance to get a new boat in its place, and the accused had all day to find a replacement.

PR: Where do you believe it came from?

LSP: As CPPD has testified, a local up the river had reported their new jon boat stolen. The accused, a fisherman, could've found that boat during the day, and led it quiety downriver that night, straight into Lejeune Landing.

PR: Thank you Captain.


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8.a.5  EXERCISES

Your instructor has developed exercises based on the four parts above. Study these excerpts in preparation in advance of your participation, and record your scores in the spaces provided.


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State #997-393-1846. Local #2025-000246.

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