Practising Manga Style

[Nacho]

Hi to all... This is my first thread in Critics Longe... don´t be too hard with me.

I made this girl during a class... I want to make her in manga style, but there is soemthing that doesn´t fit... What is it? Maybe something with the eyes align?



PS. Yeah, she´s unfinished, rate only the face.
PSS. Don´t send me to the "How to draw manga" site, I already know it.
PSSS. If you don´t see the jpg, it´s because Barcik would get tyred of me using his webspace and he´d probably kill me... Call the police.

[scotch]

Farlander:  The image doesn't work.. try http://invis.free.anonymizer.com/http://scoobar.tripod.com/Manga.jpg

Er, no comments ._. I don't know much about this style..

[Nacho]

Damn! I see it Scotch... And I´m still alive, Barcik hasn´t killed me... Can anyone see the jpg?

[Jimi]

no. Just "Hosted by Tripod"

[scotch]

That doesn't work?

[Jimi]

I like it, but....

I think its a little to "scetchy" for manga

[Proskrito]

Or you can use the anonymizer thingie, it works with tripod/lycos. (its in the help sticky thread, i believe)
I know NOTHING about manga, (so dont take this seriously) but it seems to me as if the face shape were drawn like if she were looking to her right, and the facial features are drawn facing to us.  ( i hope this to make any sense with my crappy english)
Also i think the eyes are a bit big for manga style, but if you are not trying to emulate the style perfectly, i would keep it, they look sooo good.

[Nacho]

the face shape were drawn like if she were looking to her right, and the facial features are drawn facing to us

Yeah, "mañico" My attempt was to give the impression that she is shy, and she looks to the main character pretending him not to realise that, but, as I did not draw sketch, it´s been a failure  :

I also realise now that the main problem is in the eyes, maybe...

[Proskrito]

 how about that?:

(quick edit)
That curvature at our left part of his face is what made her look the way i posted before, i think

[loominous]

I m not very fond of n pretty much totally ignorant of the manga style, but I think I spotted some abnormalities:

(excuse the sloppiness)



(i) the forehead seems swollen, especially with the highlight
(ii) the eyes are too rounded n to close to eachother
(iii) the chin is oddly shaped
(iv) the hairline is placed too high
(v) the mouth n nose are placed too low n much to the right (our right)
(vi) her mouth is oddly shaped
(vii) the hair needs glossiness
(viii) her body seems too curvy n full (too mature looking for this teenagebody style)

I ll let the connoisseurs take it from here.

[Nacho]

Loominous! My paint seemed a cementery with all that crosses!  

Thanks for the C+C, I will make my own version with lominous and proskrito´s advices... As soon as I have time.

[12431]

btw, in manga, the heads are often drawn a little bigger than in real life. your head is way to small, but it was a nice try.

[Trapezoid]

Great! Now all you need is for her to mutter in a squeeky, melodramatic voice while really depressing background music plays, and you've got yourself a hit anime!

[Evil]

Loominous' edit is good but the neck needs to be shortened...