Fortnightly Writing Competition - "Totally Wrong" (Due 4th Oct)

[Oliwerko]

As is my good habit, I want you to write about a personal experience, real or fictional.

This fortnight, write a story about something you were sure about, but in the end the whole situation turned inside out and you realized you were totally wrong with your assumptions.

There are no other limitations regarding the topic or whatever else.

The entries are due 4th of October.

Good luck, I'm looking forward for some good stuff to read! 

[Dualnames]

What a damn great theme Oliwerko. I'm gonna enter for sure.

[Atelier]

Totally Wrong

So there I was, gawping at the bakery display, idle.
Baked lemon cheesecake with raspberries and gold dust. Oh, wow.

When in the reflection, I saw the legendary cage fighter, Rock-Hard-Crippler Smith. I'd seen that bald beast numerous times, giving smack-down on Dave ja vu. He had a face that could sour cow titty juice. And there he was, casting his toned shadow upon me.

"Oi. I want a word with you."

I soiled my y-fronts big time.

Was I standing in Rock-Hard-Crippler's way?
Did he want to admire the culinary delights too?
Perhaps it was because my name's Clive?

Whatever, it couldn't have been good. He wore GBH convictions as badges. So I got of there.

"OI! COME BACK!" he called after me. The pavement trembled as he took up pursuit, ploughing down old ladies and nuns as he went. I was panting, I was sweating, I was heaving with the exertion of moving my legs, but somehow, I'd almost made it to the end of the high-street! The safety of a phone box called! No pun intended.

I dived head first into the booth and slammed the door. Wow, that was close. But Crippler Smith had caught up, and set about tearing the phone box from the ground. "RARRRR!" he snarled, shattering panes of glass with his iron grip.

"You dropped your bloody wallet!"

[Dualnames]

It's always this...This thing I do.

I'm not sure,  I think its my mind really, heh. Perhaps as Johnie says, rather its absence.

Well, it is what it is really. I just can't place it correctly to motion. I don't think I really care at this point. They usually talk shit about me. Yeh, they do. It sometimes brings me down. Sometimes, I grind my teeth and I don't care. but deep inside I do. Cause my heart is rust. Like a relaxing song, I stroll by.

I always thought I loved her.

And I thought she loved me back.

Its those smiles she gives. It's just stupid really, trying to explain. She never loved me. At least she treats me okay. She calls me to check if I'm dead. And she always ask if I found someone in my life. Is there an answer, really?

I met her boyfriend the other day. Good guy.

And I thought she loved me back.

[Oddysseus]

Been awhile since I've been on these forums.
I've missed these contests

Tastes Like Chocolate

The bullet sings through me, and sets my whole body vibrating like a cord. The gunshot and its echo sound like drumbeats in the distance, muffled by the darkness that nibbles on the edges of my vision. And then the world reels around me, or maybe I fall... maybe I'm floating... And a spot of light expands and envelopes me. I feel warmth, like in a dream.

And gradually I'm conscious of a scent in the air, and a sweetness in my throat. I see my hands, acting without me, digging into a warm bowl of sticky sweetness. It's chocolate! Warm, and reddish-brown, and rich. I can hardly chew fast enough to swallow the sweet lumps as my hands cram them down my gullet. The smell fills my head. All around me is whiteness. I am standing in light. This must be heaven.

Then my hand misses the bowl and feels something strange. Something soft. And hairy. As I look down, my eyes focus, and I see through the whiteness - like through a fog. There is a floor, wooden and old. There is a stain, no, a puddle of darkness. As I follow it with my eyes, the bright light congeals into a rectangle. I realize that it is sunlight, pouring through a window. As my head turns back to the bowl, I glimpse movement in front of me. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust. For me to recognize what I'm looking at.

It's me. It's my reflection in a faded old mirror on the wall. But my skin is pale and torn, and my hair is falling out. My eyes are sunken pits. Half of my shirt is red with blood. A few bare ribs jut out of the ragged bullethole. And the bowl is not a bowl at all. It is my father's open head. Brains hang from it like bloody spiderwebs. Brains lie on the floor in clotted clumps. Brains hang from my lips.

I never knew brains tasted like chocolate.

[Oliwerko]

Great to see you here Odyssesus, that entry is some good stuff! 

[Atelier]

Yes, really horrible. It puts my entry to shame =/

[Darius Poyer]

Frontier

My wife cheated on me and left, but why should I care. Today is the day man enters space for the first time, and I am one of those men. It's a strange feeling, sitting here, about to make history, missing her, but loving this, and still... missing her. I couldn't help but get lost in those thoughts.

"Everything checks up on our end gents, give me the panel v4 specs, over." the radio crackles.

"Jim?", Charles said looking over at me.

"Yeah, sorry, eh... v4 ASR at 5.90, LIO 0.5%, all REP blocks calibrated, over", I replied.

"You nervous Jim?", Ckarles asked.

"Why wouldn't I be, it's exciting though, in that, we could die, kind of way...", I said.

"I heard about your wife Jim", Evan said, turning his head back over his seat, as if he wasnt aware of the intercom system built into the helmets.

"It's a fucking shame, but think of it this way, while shes sucking off some asshole, you'r gonna be one of the first to see this earth from the outside, thats not nothin", he continued.

"She left me for a woman you know", i repied.

"Shit...", Evan went silent for a moment. "Not sure if this beats that at all man", Evan cuckled.

The radio suddenly took over, "Gentlemen, 10 seconds 'till lift-off, godspeed to you all, over".

"See you on the other side, over and out" Evan replied.

"Everyone ready?", Evan asked the crew.

"Ready as we'll ever be sir", Charles replied.

"Three seconds, this wont be pleasant, just try not to pass out", Evan said as a final warning.

The engines exploded and the craft shook violently. I knew what to expect, and according to the readings on the computer everything was still operating as expected. I just couldn't have imagined it feling like this. The roar of the engines drowned out all sound, and the gravitational forces pulling me down stopped me from pysically sensing anything else.

I can see the outer layer of the atmosphere getting closer, we must have left cloud cover pretty quickly. The sky gets darker and darker. The craft starts to burn from the friction and the shaking gets worse, and then the presure reaches it's peak, until finally... silence.

"Control? we made it, over", Evan declared happily into the radio.

"Control?", Evan's smile quickly dissipated.

"Whats going on?", i said. "we made it right?".

"Control, can you read me, this is Evan Cross of the Olimar, over", Evan said once more into the radio. "shit... I think all we can do is wait for now...".

"At least we made it through, right?", Charles said trying to calm the situation.

"What's with that white ash on the window?", I asked.

"Yeah that's really odd is'nt it... Probably from the fire, you'd think they'd want to avoid things like that" Charles replied.

"Control, can you read me, over" Evan yelled into the radio. "what the hell's goin' on" he muttered in frustration.

I suddenly spotted something in the distance. It seems the white ash covering the window wasn't ash at all. It was something else... all i can see is white, except for a dark hole in the distance.
The hole looks like a tear though a piece of paper. Inside of the hole i can see the clouds, as if im looking down on our planet through a small opening. Everything else is infinately bright, but it doesnt burn the eyes. Did we pierce though this white... thing?

"Charles...", I said pointing at the window.

"What the hell is that?", Charles replied.

"I think... space, wasn't what we thought it was..."

[Oliwerko]

Okay gentlemen, unless anyone wants an extension, my calendar says it's already the 5th, so - let the voting begin!

[Darius Poyer]

I'll vote for Oddysseus. It was a bit flowery, but the concept was pretty good.

[Questionable]

I vote Darius. Mostly because I like the ambiguity of it, and I, as a matter of personal taste, like "talky," character driven stories with minimal exposition.

[Dualnames]

I'm gonna vote for Poyer.

"It's a fucking shame, but think of it this way, while shes sucking off some asshole, you'r gonna be one of the first to see this earth from the outside, thats not nothin", he continued.

"She left me for a woman you know", i replied

Sorry for my rather meh, entry.

[Atelier]

Oddysseus.

[kconan]

Oddysseus

[Oddysseus]

Atelier.  The twist at the end was a bit cliché, but I liked all the clever little details.

[Macay]

Poyer gets my vote, despite an overuse of commas.

[Oliwerko]

Well, it seems there's a tie going on, would somebody care and break it?

[ddq]

I vote Oddysseus. Mmm... chocolate.

[Oliwerko]

Okay, it seems we have a winner, which is Oddysseus! Congratulations.

And congratulations everyone for the great entries 

Looking forward for the next theme! 

[Questionable]

I DEMAND A RECOUNT!


1... 2... 3... carry the 9...






...one more second...





Yep- Oddy won.