What grinds my gears!

[heltenjon]

Try looking for the one called "Dental tape" instead of "Dental floss". It's a bit hard to find where I live, but it's the one my teeth don't tear apart.

[sthomannch]

Easy, heltenjon

https://lachstark.ch/en/interdental/233-waxed-dental-tape-7640131978309.html

Obviously it also makes you laugh insanely ("lachstark") - and others to wear sunglasses :-)

å le eller ikke le, det er spørsmålet, ikke sant?

[heltenjon]

 
By "hard to find" I meant I may not find it in the first shop I look for it. Luckily, I won't have to order it from anywhere.

[Khris]

German mail-in voting, 2025

Spoiler

Granted, they had to rush it this time. But it's not like this is their first time. They have been sending these out to millions of people every four years.
It's also kinda funny how the number is above and below the barcode, almost like they expect people to be too stupid to fold and insert the paper correctly but then fuck up the alignment this badly themselves.
I can only assume that they somehow ended up using the wrong template on accident, because some elections use bigger/more ballots and thus larger envelopes so the boxes are not always in the exact same spot.

[close]

[TheFrighter]

Uh, I don't get the point...

_

[Khris]

Maybe something digital then?
(To be clear, this UI is fine imo)



The elderly client sees this on their iPhone while on the phone with me and they don't know how to proceed. I tell them to look for boxes to check so they can allow the connection.
They keep tapping the greyed out button and keep mentioning the red box at the top.

How do we fix this? Is there even a way to fix this? I occasionally design UIs for small projects so this really grinds my gears. You also get to hear how complicated everything has become, naturally.

(This was a guy who accidently deleted his entire WhatsApp chat history with his girlfriend but had no idea how)

[Blondbraid]

It grinds my gears when Social media algorithms make people use baby-talk on serious topics.

And yes, flowery euphemisms has for polite company always existed, but at least the Puritans and Victorians tried to be dignified about it;
saying "He passed on" or "Her life was cut short" is something you could sincerely say at a loved one's funeral, but sewer-slide? Unalive?

Those literally sound like 4Chan jokes.

And don't even get me started on "neuro-spicy", that language make real struggles look like a quirky add-on. If you don't get why the term is insulting, imagine calling somebody in a wheeelchair "spine-spicy" or someone hearing-impaired "ear-spicy".

[Stupot]

I agree, pretty much. I cringe when people use 'unalive' on Facebook. Maaaaybe the algorithm pushes down posts that mention 'kill' or 'suicide', but so what? By using 'unalive' instead,you're saying a) "I'm so narcissistic I feel that my posts deserve to be seen my more people," and b) "everyone else is doing it, so it's basically just a meme/bandwagon."

When it comes to things like 'neuro-spicy', I tend to hear it from people who themselves talk about having neuro-divergences (more "neuro-spicy people like me" rather than "neuro-spicy people like them") so I guess it's only insulting if you are insulted by it. Either way I still hate the word

[Blondbraid]

When it comes to things like 'neuro-spicy', I tend to hear it from people who themselves talk about having neuro-divergences (more "neuro-spicy people like me" rather than "neuro-spicy people like them") so I guess it's only insulting if you are insulted by it. Either way I still hate the word

To this I'd say I'm reminded of the quote from the teacher in Mean Girls;
"You all have GOT to stop calling each other sluts and whores, it just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores"

It also ties into a larger problem of young people online who self-diagnose based on the idea that things like feeling lost and directionles in life, not finding friends with the same interests in class and feeling stressed out in packed crowds isn't just normal things most teens struggle with, but a sign that they are special and different from all the other NPCs. It's essentially treating neurodivergence as a quirky acessory and, as a reddit user put it;
"Neurospicy" doesn't need accomodations, it needs T-shirts and decals. "Neurospicy" doesn't have meltdowns, high unemployment rates, difficulties forming and maintaining relasionships, or suffer from a year of burnout.

[Snarky]

It also ties into a larger problem of young people online who self-diagnose based on the idea that things like feeling lost and directionles in life, not finding friends with the same interests in class and feeling stressed out in packed crowds isn't just normal things most teens struggle with, but a sign that they are special and different from all the other NPCs.

Yeah, that's one of my peeves. In many cases it seems like self-diagnosing as some type of neuroatypical condition is essentially modern-day astrology, like explaining someone's personality in terms of a zodiac sign by fitting very common behaviors and experiences to a generic stereotype, and then identifying very intensely with that label. (And in the worst cases, use it as an excuse to not take responsibility for unacceptable behavior, e.g. some people who are self-diagnosed narcissists, BPD, etc.)

I think it's another case like people claiming allergies or gluten-intolerance without a medical diagnosis. It just makes things harder for those actually suffering from it. But people will always look for some simple explanation for whatever is wrong in our lives, hoping that will fix us.

[VampireWombat]

Well, the last couple post grind my gears... Here's my input.

Self diagnosis is perfectly valid if you put in the proper research and it truly fits. I'm 100% sure I have aphantasia, which is a form of divergence. But I'm also more than 90% sure I'm also autistic. I don't think this as a way of trying to feel "special". I've struggled most of my life with trying to feel more normal. Why would I WANT to label myself as being different? I believe I'm autistic because I've had social issues my whole life, I have food/sound/texture issues very common with autistic people, I have photosensitivity, etc. I have a cousin who is diagnosed as autistic and once I learned I probably am, my aunt agrees that I probably am.

I'm an adult old enough that autism wasn't even considered a spectrum when I was a child. It would cost a huge amount of money and time to get a diagnosis which would prove pointless because it's not like it would get me any kind of special accommodations. But since learning more about autism, I've learned ways to deal with some of my anxiety with things and other coping mechanisms, like intentionally stimming. Since I'm not officially diagnosed, does that mean that I shouldn't wear headphones when I know I'm going to be around sounds which make me want to curl up into a ball? Do I stop clicking a pen when I feel social anxiety at the thought of the possibility of talking to a stranger?

Are there people who self diagnose themselves who are wrong? Yes. But does that mean everyone who self diagnoses themselves are wrong? As much as it may feel harmful to you for someone to self diagnose themself and be wrong, it can be equally or more harmful to tell someone self diagnosed who actually is neurodivergent that they aren't.

[Blondbraid]

Why would I WANT to label myself as being different?

Trust me, LOTS of teenager can and will do anything to differentiate themselves, because to them different = special. Trust me, as a woman on the spectrum myself, I've seen a huge overlap between the rethoric around people who self-diagnose and girls who claim "they are not like other girls", because they don't identify with the media stereotypes of girls/think being neurotypical means you must be someone who always know what to do and never feel overwhelmed or embarrassed.

Secondly, I've never claimed that ALL attempts at self-diagnosis is wrong, or that people can´t do things like wearing headphones or fidget with something in their pockets if it helps their well-being. I don't think anyone here did.

Yeah, that's one of my peeves. In many cases it seems like self-diagnosing as some type of neuroatypical condition is essentially modern-day astrology, like explaining someone's personality in terms of a zodiac sign by fitting very common behaviors and experiences to a generic stereotype, and then identifying very intensely with that label. (And in the worst cases, use it as an excuse to not take responsibility for unacceptable behavior, e.g. some people who are self-diagnosed narcissists, BPD, etc.)

I think it's another case like people claiming allergies or gluten-intolerance without a medical diagnosis. It just makes things harder for those actually suffering from it. But people will always look for some simple explanation for whatever is wrong in our lives, hoping that will fix us.

Like what Snarky said, the problem isn't people who use self-diagnosis as a stepping-stone to get a real professional diagnosis (and it's not as hard today as some make it out to be), it's people treating it as a simple way to excuse crappy behaviors whilst simultaneously treating it as a sign of how "special" they are.

And this is a problem, because in order to get legal protections, like workplace accommodations, anti-discrimination laws excetera, you need to have clear legal definitions of what disabilities or disorders people have, supported by licenced professionals, not feelings and a random quiz someone took online.

In my homeland Sweden, you can report discrimination to the equality ombudsman, but this system only works because we have clearly defined protected groups.

[VampireWombat]

Like what Snarky said, the problem isn't people who use self-diagnosis as a stepping-stone to get a real professional diagnosis (and it's not as hard today as some make it out to be), it's people treating it as a simple way to excuse crappy behaviors whilst simultaneously treating it as a sign of how "special" they are.

I have too much of a sinus headache today to articulate fully, so I'm not going to try. I think it was the comparison to self diagnosing allergies that caused some confusion for me. As someone who had to get allergy tests when I was young on both my back and arms, I wouldn't wish anyone having to go through that if they could could simply identify that they had an allergic reaction to something and could get over the counter medication to help with it. I feel kind of the same about being neurodivergent. And certainly I'm not against someone getting diagnosed if they have the means to. But it's better to identify the possibility of being neurodivergent and doing what's possible to help than to avoid thinking you're neurodivergent out of fear of being bullied by people who say you can't self diagnose. I'm not saying you or Snarky are bullying, but there are subreddits that do basically bully people for what they think of as faking autism. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. They could be high masking and on the outside be like "Yeah, neurospicy is cool!" but on the inside they could be completely freaking out. It's better to educate people who claim they're neurospicy than to mock them and make actual neurodivergent people feel even more alientated.

[Snarky]

But it's better to identify the possibility of being neurodivergent and doing what's possible to help than to avoid thinking you're neurodivergent out of fear of being bullied by people who say you can't self diagnose. I'm not saying you or Snarky are bullying, but there are subreddits that do basically bully people for what they think of as faking autism.

Thanks. I wasn't hoping to get into an argument with you or anyone over this, or bully anyone. Your experiences are of course valid, and I'm not saying that a (tentative!) self-diagnosis cannot be useful to an individual. It's the (online) discourse around it that rubs me the wrong way – in some cases.

The tendency for people to be foolish and obnoxious is a human constant, it just takes different forms in different eras. It seems pretty clear to me that neurodivergent labels have become trendy in a way that attracts frivolous claims – the way gluten intolerance was trendy a couple of decades ago – or even malicious misuse (see: Elon Musk, or Neil Gaiman using a supposed autism diagnosis as a defense against sexual abuse allegations).

[VampireWombat]

Thanks. I wasn't hoping to get into an argument with you or anyone over this, or bully anyone. Your experiences are of course valid, and I'm not saying that a (tentative!) self-diagnosis cannot be useful to an individual. It's the (online) discourse around it that rubs me the wrong way – in some cases.

The tendency for people to be foolish and obnoxious is a human constant, it just takes different forms in different eras. It seems pretty clear to me that neurodivergent labels have become trendy in a way that attracts frivolous claims – the way gluten intolerance was trendy a couple of decades ago – or even malicious misuse (see: Elon Musk, or Neil Gaiman using a supposed autism diagnosis as a defense against sexual abuse allegations).

Alright. Now we both understand each other a bit more. I wasn't wanting an argument either, just the posts kind of set me off yesterday. I don't remember if it was before or after having watched a video about how some of those in power basically feel like high supports needs autistics have no place in society. But I did take the post more personally than I should have. But this is a thread about grinding of gears, and at the time it ground mine.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who do see neurodivergence as a trend and I know there are some people who say everyone's a bit autistic. But I choose to believe most of it is out of ignorance more than anything. Almost no media shows a balanced view on neurodivergence. And I don't know if Elon Musk or Neil Gaiman are actually autistic or not. It's possible they are autistic AND horrible human beings.

[Blondbraid]

It's better to educate people who claim they're neurospicy than to mock them and make actual neurodivergent people feel even more alientated.

I see your point, though when it comes to alienation, I feel like it's just as big of a problem with how these people will spread misinformation, and actively discourage people from getting professional help instead of seeking out blind validation online.

Plus using baby-ish terms like "neurospicy" instead of autism only serves to further stigmatize the actual term autism.

I don't remember if it was before or after having watched a video about how some of those in power basically feel like high supports needs autistics have no place in society.

That is a genuine problem, which I feel is further amplified by many online commentators' treatment of any attempt at categories or sub-categories of the autism spectrum as somehow evil and fascist.

It grinds my gears that not only has there been a blatant attempt to rewrite history in regards to Aspergers syndrome; pretending that it fell out of use over Hans Asperger's nazi ties - it didn't, the diagnosis was retired because it was deemed to similar to high-functioning autism, and the diagnosis itself was never used while Asperger was active, but coined in 1976 by brittish psychologist Lorna Wing, but I've even seen people claim that the terms "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" themselves were an evil nazi invention.

The problem is, who benefits from a wide spectrum having all clear sub-categories removed? I sure don't. If I say I have Autism, it comes with the caveat that I also have to spend ages explaining where exactly I am on the spectrum and how my mind works, whereas if I say I have Aspergers, most people will just get the basic gist of it relatively easily.

And this doesn't serve people with high support needs either, because all this discourse that muddies the lines and people using baby terms instead of real diagnosis to describe autism only makes it harder for regular people to understand what it is and how it works, and if it's harder to understand, people will also find it harder to accept.

[VampireWombat]

I see your point, though when it comes to alienation, I feel like it's just as big of a problem with how these people will spread misinformation, and actively discourage people from getting professional help instead of seeking out blind validation online.

Plus using baby-ish terms like "neurospicy" instead of autism only serves to further stigmatize the actual term autism.

That is a genuine problem, which I feel is further amplified by many online commentators' treatment of any attempt at categories or sub-categories of the autism spectrum as somehow evil and fascist.

It grinds my gears that not only has there been a blatant attempt to rewrite history in regards to Aspergers syndrome; pretending that it fell out of use over Hans Asperger's nazi ties - it didn't, the diagnosis was retired because it was deemed to similar to high-functioning autism, and the diagnosis itself was never used while Asperger was active, but coined in 1976 by brittish psychologist Lorna Wing, but I've even seen people claim that the terms "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" themselves were an evil nazi invention.

The problem is, who benefits from a wide spectrum having all clear sub-categories removed? I sure don't. If I say I have Autism, it comes with the caveat that I also have to spend ages explaining where exactly I am on the spectrum and how my mind works, whereas if I say I have Aspergers, most people will just get the basic gist of it relatively easily.

And this doesn't serve people with high support needs either, because all this discourse that muddies the lines and people using baby terms instead of real diagnosis to describe autism only makes it harder for regular people to understand what it is and how it works, and if it's harder to understand, people will also find it harder to accept.

I admit to not understanding all of this. It's not helped at all by having grown up with media showing people with autism as either being savants or being non-verbal, or in the case of Mercury Rising I think the kid was both. I think Parenthood was the first thing I watched with someone who wasn't either. But his autism was treated more as a problem than being a part of who he is. My mom was even a special education teacher for a few years and she wasn't taught anything about autism beyond the "problem" type. It wasn't until a friend with Autism and ADHD had shared some information that made me think I might be neurodivergent in any way. Every week I'm learning something new, usually from Youtube videos by creators with Autism and/or ADHD. And since I avoid TikTok and most subreddits, I don't ever see these people who use the term neurospicy unless it's brought up by one of the creators I follow. There is damage being done in many areas by many people. Some intentionally, some unintentionally. And by now I think I've forgotten my point. I just know that apparently I care more about how people perceive neurodivergent people than I had realized.

[Blondbraid]

I admit to not understanding all of this. It's not helped at all by having grown up with media showing people with autism as either being savants or being non-verbal, or in the case of Mercury Rising I think the kid was both.

I feel you; I feel 99% of Autism in media is still stuck in "young guy with dorky haircut who is a math/science savant but has panic attacks when being forced to be social" stereotype, and it grinds my gears. Ironically I feel like the only movie that really spoke to my experience growing up as a girl with a diagnosis, and how I felt how adults would treat me as as soon as they learned of my diagnosis, was this scene from Hotel Transylvania 2 (where the female lead is a vampire and her boyfriend's parents try to "accommodate" her;

[Laura Hunt]

People who stand on the left side of escalators, who stand in the middle of the sidewalk checking their phone, their baby carriage, or chatting with their friends, who stand in front of elevator doors and look shocked when people come out of it, who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the supermarket aisle, who don't take their backpacks off in the train or the bus.

So in short, people who completely lack situational awareness, or who think shared/public spaces belong to them and everyone else is an NPC.

[Stupot]

People who stand on the left side of escalators, who stand in the middle of the sidewalk checking their phone, their baby carriage, or chatting with their friends, who stand in front of elevator doors and look shocked when people come out of it, who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the supermarket aisle, who don't take their backpacks off in the train or the bus.

So in short, people who completely lack situational awareness, or who think shared/public spaces belong to them and everyone else is an NPC.

Yep. I almost envy these people. They don't have to constantly think about what they're doing and the strangers around them. They don't have the trauma necessary to be constantly on guard, aware of every exit, hotspot and walkable area in any given space.