Corrupt-A-wish!

[Anshinin]

This is a game that is played pretty often in lots of places, so I thought I would bring it here for you guys.

The rules are quite simple. Some one would wish for something, and the next poster would then post something that would ruin the wish.

EX:
Poster 1: I wish for a horse
Poster 2: Granted, but it is dead. I wish for telepathic powers.


And it continues thusly. It's a lot of fun.


So with that given,
I wish I had the fastest car in the world!

[Gribbler]

You crashed and died in flames. I wish Bloodborne would come out tomorrow!

[Chicky]

Granted, released exclusively via digital distribution on Xbox Live.

I wish I had the power of flight!

[Ibispi]

Granted, but you flew too close to the Sun, your wings burned down.
I wish I could read other humans' minds.

[Cuiki]

Granted, but nobody really thinks about you.
I wish I was in a cool band.

[JenniBee]

Granted.  You are now bound up in a rubber band which is below room temperature.

I wish I had a hoverboard.

[Gribbler]

Granted. But Marty McFly stole it from you.

I wish I could time travel.

[Haggis]

Granted. But you can only time travel forwards one second at a time.

I wish I was a transformer.

[Gribbler]

Granted. But Megatron desintegrated you.

I wish I was a famous footballer.

[selmiak]

Granted, but you always get a red card in the first 5 minutes of the game.

I wish I had a batcave.

[Eric]

Granted. You also find yourself knee-deep in guano and afflicted with rabies.
I wish for a renewable energy resource with no environmental side effects.

[CaptainD]

Granted!  But you now spend your entire life on an exercise bike rigged with a dynamo.
I wish I had tremendous brainpower...

[janleht]

Granted. You are now super-depressed.
I wish I could draw decent pixel art...

[Retro Wolf]

Granted! But you can only use different shades of pink!

I wish I had the time and motivation to make proper full games!

[Stupot]

Granted. But they will never win any awards.

I wish to put an end to child starvation.

[Gurok]

Granted! A sweeping plague kills every child on the planet and leaves everyone sterile.

I wish I had a cute celebrity cat.

[Haggis]

Granted, but you quickly grow jealous of the cat's celebrity lifestyle and descend into a void of alcohol and drug fuelled hatred, until one day you finally snap and slip a copius cocktail of lethal prescription medication into the cat's dinner, resulting in you being dragged mercilessly through a high publicity murder trial and ending up in the electric chair wondering where it all went wrong.

I wish my N64 still worked.

[Lasca]

Granted, but every controller stick on earth is botched and you can never turn left.

I wish for an end of neofascism in Europe.

[Eric]

Granted, but it's replaced by neo-neofascism.
I wish for the next season of Twin Peaks to be amazing.

[Cassiebsg]

Granted, but it only lasts 1 episode.
I wish for world peace!